Thousands of women are curvy and voluptuous. And, believe it or not, many are victims of bullying. But, that doesn’t mean that there is not occasional acceptance among people in a world so diverse. The heroine in this novel is overweight, and as she tries to come to terms with her insecurities, she meets a young man who is also battling his own demons; the reality of the highs and lows when suffering from bi-polar disorder. As I was reading this book, I could tell that it would an emotional rollercoaster of feelings when determining if one is to be trusted and forgiven for their erratic behavior. It was thoroughly researched with tormenting truths regarding this irrational and depressing condition. The emotional upheaval between the two main characters was agonizingly painful to read about. But, it seemed so realistic and true-to-life. With that being said, here’s what I thought of author, Amy Queau’s Progress series debut.
Charlie loved her new job of being a hostess for The Crimson Cellar. It was an easy job, and she was often complimented on her hard work and deligence. But, when she gets a glimpse of gorgeous Jesse James Anders, she goes weak-in-the-knees and blushes passionately. Why? Because he’s just that scrumptious – dark blonde hair, grey eyes, and just the right amount of muscle. Wow! But, Charlie knows that she would never have a chance with someone like him. He’s just like way out of her league. So, sexy with his labret peaking out from his chin – (swoon)! Besides, with Charlie’s track record of always being the victim of people’s cruel jokes, she just has to face the fact that the closest she’ll ever get to spending time with him is as a friend. As Charlie and Jesse get to know each other, he becomes more attached to the friendship they share – knowing full well that Charlie would never abandon him. She doesn’t have it in her to be mean or selfish. She would always have someone else’s best interest at heart. Where is this relationship headed, though? Well, one moment Jesse wants her intimately, but he knows that he is damaged and that would be the end of their friendship. And, then in another instant, he wants to keep their relationship on the platonic level - knowing full well that they could just continue to trust and protect each other on a noncommital-like basis. That way is safe and low-maintenance. But, what does Charlie want? Well, she wants Jesse intimately as well, but is she willing to risk their friendship knowing also that, romantically speaking, their sensual relationship could potentially destroy something so perfect and long-lasting? And, besides, she’s actually not even sure if they could ever even have any relationship beyond friendship because he’s untamed and shameless to-the-point where any further involvement with him could prove to be unhealthy. How can a man with so much potential, passion, and life be so condescending and hurtful at times?
Both characters are damaged, however. Charlie oftentimes is the victim of continuous bullying by men, which in turn repeatedly leads to low self-esteem and extended inexperience with dating. Whereas Jesse, constantly dealt with the repetitive ramifications of his bi-polar disorder and the reality of being raised in fostercare since his parents’ death quite a few years ago. The author paints a realistic picture of hard luck and unfortunate circumstances that lead to both character’s instability and vulnerability. While Charlie has extensive trust issues with men, Jesse can’t handle recently seeing a former girlfriend that is pressing him for a reconciliation that he thought, at one time, was “the one”. I don’t think that either character can be worthy of a romantic, somewhat, lengthy relationship, whether it’s with each other or anyone else, until they fix what’s broken inside – her trust issues and his mental illness psychosis.
Honestly, my infatuation with romance novels is not just about the sexual chemistry or tension between the characters, although it is an added plus to the story, but it’s also about the storyline. The details. The sweetness. The damaged individual or individuals. The survival. And, ultimately, the triumph – whether it’s a “happily ever after” or not. Ms. Queau does a great job with all the characteristics of what makes an impressive novel. This, however, is not the end of their story. It “progresses” along on into the next two installments to the series. So the “triumph” is still to come. As I’m writing this review, I’m also re-reading the novel, and it’s still as engaging and heartbreaking as my first time reading it – in fact, maybe more so. The novel was fast-paced and unique. The characters were flawed, but showed possible hope for redemption.
“Progress” – (pg. 248 & pg. 255)
“I don’t expect anything, you know. I never did. It’s amazing to me that we’ve come this far, and I’ve completely changed my entire body, my outlook, my attitude...just so that you would want to be close to me...” ~ Charlie
“I don’t deserve your decency. I don’t deserve this...” He points his finger back and forth between them. “Or you. Or this night. But I want it. I...I’ve wanted you since the first day we met.” He takes a sharp inhale and waits. ~ Jesse
“You’ve taught me that no matter how ugliness is shunned and ridiculed, that I should never again feel inferior to anyone.” ~ Charlie
But, what happens ultimately in the end, as the final pages are turned, is excruciatingly painful. Sad. Heartbreaking. And, a perfect way for Ms. Queau to end the first book in this intensely provocative trilogy. Loved it!