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You're Only Old Once!: A Book for Obsolete Children
Join in on the fun (and funny) journey of getting older with this hilarious Dr. Seuss picture book—it’s just what the doctor ordered for new retirees, old souls, and kids at heart--and makes a perfect gift to celebrate birthdays and other milestones!" The Doctor is in...Dr. Seuss that is! Readers will laugh along with the parade of medical madness as an elderly patient is poked, prodded and ogled during his stay at the “Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair.” Once again, Dr. Seuss proves that his sharp wit and colorful imagination are a treat for readers of all ages. A perfect gift for retirement, birthdays, graduations, holidays, and anyone needing a little pick-me-up after a doctor’s visit!
56 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1986
77 people are currently reading
1874 people want to read
About the author
Dr. Seuss
962 books18.3k followersAlso wrote as Theodore Seuss Geisel, see https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Theodor Seuss Geisel was born 2 March 1904 in Springfield, Massachusetts. He graduated Dartmouth College in 1925, and proceeded on to Oxford University with the intent of acquiring a doctorate in literature. At Oxford he met Helen Palmer, who he wed in 1927. He returned from Europe in 1927, and began working for a magazine called Judge, the leading humor magazine in America at the time, submitting both cartoons and humorous articles for them. Additionally, he was submitting cartoons to Life, Vanity Fair and Liberty. In some of his works, he'd made reference to an insecticide called Flit. These references gained notice, and led to a contract to draw comic ads for Flit. This association lasted 17 years, gained him national exposure, and coined the catchphrase "Quick, Henry, the Flit!"
In 1936 on the way to a vacation in Europe, listening to the rhythm of the ship's engines, he came up with And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, which was then promptly rejected by the first 43 publishers he showed it to. Eventually in 1937 a friend published the book for him, and it went on to at least moderate success.
During World War II, Geisel joined the army and was sent to Hollywood. Captain Geisel would write for Frank Capra's Signal Corps Unit (for which he won the Legion of Merit) and do documentaries (he won Oscar's for Hitler Lives and Design for Death). He also created a cartoon called Gerald McBoing-Boing which also won him an Oscar.
In May of 1954, Life published a report concerning illiteracy among school children. The report said, among other things, that children were having trouble to read because their books were boring. This inspired Geisel's publisher, and prompted him to send Geisel a list of 400 words he felt were important, asked him to cut the list to 250 words (the publishers idea of how many words at one time a first grader could absorb), and write a book. Nine months later, Geisel, using 220 of the words given to him published The Cat in the Hat , which went on to instant success.
In 1960 Bennett Cerf bet Geisel $50 that he couldn't write an entire book using only fifty words. The result was Green Eggs and Ham . Cerf never paid the $50 from the bet.
Helen Palmer Geisel died in 1967. Theodor Geisel married Audrey Stone Diamond in 1968. Theodor Seuss Geisel died 24 September 1991.
Also worked under the pen name: Theo Le Sieg
Theodor Seuss Geisel was born 2 March 1904 in Springfield, Massachusetts. He graduated Dartmouth College in 1925, and proceeded on to Oxford University with the intent of acquiring a doctorate in literature. At Oxford he met Helen Palmer, who he wed in 1927. He returned from Europe in 1927, and began working for a magazine called Judge, the leading humor magazine in America at the time, submitting both cartoons and humorous articles for them. Additionally, he was submitting cartoons to Life, Vanity Fair and Liberty. In some of his works, he'd made reference to an insecticide called Flit. These references gained notice, and led to a contract to draw comic ads for Flit. This association lasted 17 years, gained him national exposure, and coined the catchphrase "Quick, Henry, the Flit!"
In 1936 on the way to a vacation in Europe, listening to the rhythm of the ship's engines, he came up with And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, which was then promptly rejected by the first 43 publishers he showed it to. Eventually in 1937 a friend published the book for him, and it went on to at least moderate success.
During World War II, Geisel joined the army and was sent to Hollywood. Captain Geisel would write for Frank Capra's Signal Corps Unit (for which he won the Legion of Merit) and do documentaries (he won Oscar's for Hitler Lives and Design for Death). He also created a cartoon called Gerald McBoing-Boing which also won him an Oscar.
In May of 1954, Life published a report concerning illiteracy among school children. The report said, among other things, that children were having trouble to read because their books were boring. This inspired Geisel's publisher, and prompted him to send Geisel a list of 400 words he felt were important, asked him to cut the list to 250 words (the publishers idea of how many words at one time a first grader could absorb), and write a book. Nine months later, Geisel, using 220 of the words given to him published The Cat in the Hat , which went on to instant success.
In 1960 Bennett Cerf bet Geisel $50 that he couldn't write an entire book using only fifty words. The result was Green Eggs and Ham . Cerf never paid the $50 from the bet.
Helen Palmer Geisel died in 1967. Theodor Geisel married Audrey Stone Diamond in 1968. Theodor Seuss Geisel died 24 September 1991.
Also worked under the pen name: Theo Le Sieg
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 374 reviews
March 8, 2021
Here's another Seuss book that should probably be banned from further publication as it portrays the medical establishment as money-grubbing, and uncaring, and . . .
Oh.
Never mind.
Oh.
Never mind.
February 16, 2022
If you are over 50 and need a good laugh read this book. Almost think the good doctor really wrote this for an older audience; to help you try to be as creative as you can be as the years fly past faster and faster. Great birthday gift for anyone over fifty - guaranteed to put a smile on their face!
September 26, 2017
I thought it was children books, but it was not :)
I was in mood to make myself laugh, but I got mixed feelings with relief that I am still young and sad because you know that someone in your family is that old to take too much medicine.
As at the end of book had been written on it " If you bought this book for your child, then give it when he reach 70" :)
I was in mood to make myself laugh, but I got mixed feelings with relief that I am still young and sad because you know that someone in your family is that old to take too much medicine.
As at the end of book had been written on it " If you bought this book for your child, then give it when he reach 70" :)
December 28, 2018
A laugh out loud (yet All.Too.True) look at the medical adventures we all will find ourselves partaking in, sooner or later. If you can relate, this is a must read. After all, LAUGHTER really is the best medicine! I know I feel better already!
July 6, 2019
Theodore Geisel or Dr. Seuss is renowned for his children's books. This one though, is definitely for the adults or as the cover states "obsolete children". Written in his quirky way, it's time for your check up at the Golden Years Clinic on Century Street for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair. Hopefully, your appointment will not involve seeing Dr. Pollen, the Allergy Whiz or Von Crandall, the World-Renowned Ear Man. And the poking and prodding and pinching will be a minimum. And then there is the Pill Drill.
Amusing. Fun. Great to read before you attend the latest doctor's appointment - even if it's for an annual physical. And scarily real for some of our elderly today. . . or so it seems.
2019-097
Amusing. Fun. Great to read before you attend the latest doctor's appointment - even if it's for an annual physical. And scarily real for some of our elderly today. . . or so it seems.
2019-097
June 24, 2016
It's Everyman for himself in this tale for adults. Yes, that's what I said. It's a story for oldsters who could use a rueful laugh. I want to say it's a fantasy, but I'd be lyin', lol, about this satire on aging.
My Take
Oh, man, just reading the blurb on the inside flap had me laughing. Yes, I'd said that Seuss is quite right about this being a book for adults. I especially "enjoyed" the Eyesight Test — be sure to read it.
The pictures are typical Seuss with his cheery colors and silly scenes.
Oh, yes, it's La-La Land for us oldsters who want strong teeth, no doctors, and live to be a hundred and three, lol. Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair. We all know the hassles of doctors questioning us about Great-aunt Rose and her ills and how old was she when she died. Of what did she die, by the way? And was it afternoon, morning, or the dead of night?
The doctors and nurses who won't tell. The interns who poke and look.
As for that treadmill…you'll be grateful for your own! Then there's the Diet-Devising Computerized Sniffer…the results of that test will simply depress.
Those pills they prescribe? Oh, yeah, it's that litany of when and where and how to take the plethora of pills.
The Story
It's a very long day as Everyman goes to the doctorsssssss.
The Characters
Everyman has reached 70 with all the ills that implies. Norval is the fish in the hall who has to listen to his pains. Whelden is the orderly and Wheeler who pushes you about. Once you've "graduated", of course.
The Cover and Title
The cover has a cream floor for a background with blue doors at the top and three doctors peeking out, their stethoscopes dangling. At the bottom is Whelden in his creamy yellow boilersuit, quite smug as he pushes Everyman, a balding old man with his fringe of white hair and bushy mustache, wearing a yellow short-sleeved bathrobe with blue trim. It's an odd sort of tricycle in which he sits with its big yellow and pink wheels.
The title is a relief that You're Only Old Once!!
My Take
Oh, man, just reading the blurb on the inside flap had me laughing. Yes, I'd said that Seuss is quite right about this being a book for adults. I especially "enjoyed" the Eyesight Test — be sure to read it.
The pictures are typical Seuss with his cheery colors and silly scenes.
Oh, yes, it's La-La Land for us oldsters who want strong teeth, no doctors, and live to be a hundred and three, lol. Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair. We all know the hassles of doctors questioning us about Great-aunt Rose and her ills and how old was she when she died. Of what did she die, by the way? And was it afternoon, morning, or the dead of night?
The doctors and nurses who won't tell. The interns who poke and look.
As for that treadmill…you'll be grateful for your own! Then there's the Diet-Devising Computerized Sniffer…the results of that test will simply depress.
Those pills they prescribe? Oh, yeah, it's that litany of when and where and how to take the plethora of pills.
The Story
It's a very long day as Everyman goes to the doctorsssssss.
The Characters
Everyman has reached 70 with all the ills that implies. Norval is the fish in the hall who has to listen to his pains. Whelden is the orderly and Wheeler who pushes you about. Once you've "graduated", of course.
The Cover and Title
The cover has a cream floor for a background with blue doors at the top and three doctors peeking out, their stethoscopes dangling. At the bottom is Whelden in his creamy yellow boilersuit, quite smug as he pushes Everyman, a balding old man with his fringe of white hair and bushy mustache, wearing a yellow short-sleeved bathrobe with blue trim. It's an odd sort of tricycle in which he sits with its big yellow and pink wheels.
The title is a relief that You're Only Old Once!!
February 18, 2019
Very funny Dr. Seuss book....love every bit of it. Great book for adult gift.
March 5, 2012
My mom loved this book! She found it at the library sale and was laughing so hard we finally begged her to read it aloud ;-) I hate to classify books as being only for certain age groups, but, the cover indicates this is for "obsolete children" and I really do think its humor will best be appreciated by readers of a certain age with a fair amount of experience in waiting rooms and doctors offices. Sadly, my mom has had her fair share of that already by taking my late grandparents to their many appointments over the years. I am glad she was able to get a belated laugh by reading this book. I am also glad that I didn't quite appreciate all the humor yet, though!
May 14, 2020
A very enjoyable birthday present!
March 24, 2020
Filled with Dr. Seuss' delightful rhymes and hilariously illustrated characters, this book will tickle the fancy of every senior who is a child at heart!
December 12, 2014
I remember reading this book for the very first time in a doctor's office. It is a satire on the medical system. The older man in the story is dragged from one examination to another of every imaginable type. Then he is given a pile of pills for every ill and finally sent to fill out a stack of papers for billing.
This book is not written for children. It is written for adults who appreciate the humor of being dragged from one doctor to the next and having to wait, wait, wait in between. And in the end all those test really tell the character is that he is doing better than most.
The story is fun and funny and oh so true for those of us who have been dragged through the medical system. However, to truly appreciate this book, the adult must love children's books as well since it is written in picture book style. I happen to love picture books so I love this book. The text doesn't carry the same zing as many of Seuss' books, but it is a fun read nonetheless.
This book is not written for children. It is written for adults who appreciate the humor of being dragged from one doctor to the next and having to wait, wait, wait in between. And in the end all those test really tell the character is that he is doing better than most.
The story is fun and funny and oh so true for those of us who have been dragged through the medical system. However, to truly appreciate this book, the adult must love children's books as well since it is written in picture book style. I happen to love picture books so I love this book. The text doesn't carry the same zing as many of Seuss' books, but it is a fun read nonetheless.
February 1, 2022
Lovely but a bit depressing if you're on the other side of 50 or so.
April 13, 2022
3 stars & 3/10 hearts. I read this aloud to my siblings, and they quite enjoyed it, and asked to have it reread. I personally found it a very caustic satire of healthcare, but it is quite humorous.
April 21, 2024
Very funny, and it rhymes!
August 8, 2015
I love this book! So appropriate for the elderly, not so much for children. They wouldn't understand the jest and satire.
Read
November 13, 2024We have a hardback of this. I've read it a few times. It's chilling in it's accuracy of how growing old sucks. It's definitely a book for adults, since there are images like:
* a nurse looking up at a naked man
* part of a medical test device is shaped like an erect penis
* a pink phallic device poked into Our Protagonist's ear.
It has the usual artistic brilliance that we've come to expect from Dr. Seuss, such as the huge, twisting conveyer belt of medical bills coming for Our Protagonist. It also has one animal in it -- the lone fish in an aquarium in the Doctor's waiting room. It used to be that every doctor or oral surgeon or specialist had a fish tank, because they were known to calm patients down. My oral surgeon, named (I kid you not) Dr. Wank, had a tank not only in the waiting room, but in every single operating room.
That was in 1987 or so. I don't think any medical place has those tanks now. Unless they're catering to the super rich. In one sense, I'm glad they're gone. Angry patients and bored kids would kill the fish.
This was published in 1986. This is actually BETTER than how the current American medical system is today in 2024.
I'm not making it to 70. I'm already half crippled, in nearly constant pain, and no medical insurance. I care for two large pit bull mixes and my crippled, bedridden Mom. Once my obligations are met, I'm outta here. The only cure for a poor cripple is money, and there's no way to get it. You're better off dead.
* a nurse looking up at a naked man
* part of a medical test device is shaped like an erect penis
* a pink phallic device poked into Our Protagonist's ear.
It has the usual artistic brilliance that we've come to expect from Dr. Seuss, such as the huge, twisting conveyer belt of medical bills coming for Our Protagonist. It also has one animal in it -- the lone fish in an aquarium in the Doctor's waiting room. It used to be that every doctor or oral surgeon or specialist had a fish tank, because they were known to calm patients down. My oral surgeon, named (I kid you not) Dr. Wank, had a tank not only in the waiting room, but in every single operating room.
That was in 1987 or so. I don't think any medical place has those tanks now. Unless they're catering to the super rich. In one sense, I'm glad they're gone. Angry patients and bored kids would kill the fish.
This was published in 1986. This is actually BETTER than how the current American medical system is today in 2024.
I'm not making it to 70. I'm already half crippled, in nearly constant pain, and no medical insurance. I care for two large pit bull mixes and my crippled, bedridden Mom. Once my obligations are met, I'm outta here. The only cure for a poor cripple is money, and there's no way to get it. You're better off dead.
September 12, 2020
I bought a copy of this and couldn't decide whether to give it to my dad when he turned 85 or my brother when he turned 40. It would be perfect for either age. Unfortunately, my dad had dementia and had stopped reading by the time his birthday came around and has now passed on. I think if I had known about the book 5 years earlier, he would have enjoyed it quite a bit since it is about a senior citizen going to the doctor and all the things associated with that. I found it to be quite funny (maybe because 50 isn't too terribly far away for me).
June 3, 2024
This is just a little Dr. Seuss book for adults from 1986. It is exactly what you expect from Dr. Seuss but doesn't really have much to say at all besides a joke about how horrible it is to grow old and how silly the poking and prodding of medicine are.
April 27, 2020
Simply awesome!
Read
March 19, 2025Funny. Only read because a client made me. But will count it.
December 25, 2023
found this one so funny - might be one of my faves for Seuss!
January 2, 2025
This was given to me by a friend for my birthday last month. In his characteristic way, Seuss manages to poke fun at the trials and tribulations of growing old. I’ll likely be regifting this to another obsolete child in the coming years!
January 28, 2025
Premature read
April 24, 2025
Laugh out loud funny. I'm a huge Dr. Seuss fan, but had never heard of this work until I read it with my kids at a friend's house. Dr. Seuss has a way of capturing cultural issues and big ideas and of critiquing such ideas with child-friendly hilarity. This book is one where I felt the bite of the humor a bit more. As a healthcare worker, perhaps it was even funnier to me, but if you've ever felt bamboozled by our modern healthcare system or you are starting to feel your age, this book will resonate with you. Highly recommend!
April 24, 2019
Gag gift riding its reader's Dr. Seuss nostalgia. Unlike his later Oh! The Places You'll Go!(yes, later and in fact, last... I was surprised to learn this), there's not much to see here by way of visual or verbal iconography. Theodor Geisel rings the usual lyrical changes and surrealist cartoons retaining the color palette and rhythms of better-known works, albeit devoting himself in this case to a lampoon of geriatric care. Did you know that it's expensive, tedious, invasive, exploitative, corrupt, and bureaucratic? It's also entirely caucasian and mostly male, but so was Seuss, so make of that what you will.
My lot tired of hearing me recite it only about six pages/a quarter of the way in (it is just the one joke, after all). It's about as cute as you would expect for a book-length Hallmark card. This passage pretty well sums it up:
Are we done here? Who's got the cake knife?
My lot tired of hearing me recite it only about six pages/a quarter of the way in (it is just the one joke, after all). It's about as cute as you would expect for a book-length Hallmark card. This passage pretty well sums it up:
Into the New Wing! We'll see Dr. Spreckles,Look, no one expects to be scaling the heights of literary genius here. It's an easy riff that your feted birthday guests will doubtlessly enjoy in the moment. Everyone will get their knowing smirk on and Random House and the Geisel estate can make bank.
who does the Three F's -- Footsies, Fungus, and Freckles.
And nextly we'll drop in on young Dr. Ginns,
our A and S Man who does Antrums and Shins,
and of course he'll refer us to Doctors McGrew,
McGuire and McPherson and Blinn and Ballew
and Timpkins and Tompkins and Diller and Drew,
Fitzsimmons, Fitzgerald, and Fitzpatrick, too,
all of whom will prescribe a prescription for you....
When at last we are sure
you've been properly pilled,
then a few paper forms
must be properly filled
so that you and your heirs
may be properly billed.
Are we done here? Who's got the cake knife?
March 27, 2015
I finished reading "You're Only Old Once" by Dr.Seuss. I thought this book was funny, witty, and easy to read. The book was about an old man who went to the hospital for a check up. Throughout his check up, they kept proceeding on doing more tests on him. After all his tests were done, he found out that he was in good shape, and did not have to worry at all.
I read this book to my little cousin who is in fourth grade. She did not enjoy the book as much as I thought she would have. She said that she did not find it very funny or interesting.
The main character in this book is an old male who is about 80 years old. He had no name in the book. The man is worried about his health when he first arrived at the hospital. He did not understand why the doctors kept testing him. At the end of the book, he was relieved to find out that he was in great shape.
The setting takes place in the 21st century in a hospital. He was first seated in the waiting area, which was where he talked to a fish. Then he was moved all around the hospital and in many different rooms so he could have tests performed on him.
The theme of this book was to face reality. The old man knew he was sick, so he went to the hospital to face his sickness. He was not as sick as he thought, and he went home that day.
I recommend this book to males that are in their teens and older. The main character was a male, so it relates more to males than females. It was a good read because it informs the reader that even though they are old, they can still be in great shape. That could help younger kids feel better about themselves when they get older.
I read this book to my little cousin who is in fourth grade. She did not enjoy the book as much as I thought she would have. She said that she did not find it very funny or interesting.
The main character in this book is an old male who is about 80 years old. He had no name in the book. The man is worried about his health when he first arrived at the hospital. He did not understand why the doctors kept testing him. At the end of the book, he was relieved to find out that he was in great shape.
The setting takes place in the 21st century in a hospital. He was first seated in the waiting area, which was where he talked to a fish. Then he was moved all around the hospital and in many different rooms so he could have tests performed on him.
The theme of this book was to face reality. The old man knew he was sick, so he went to the hospital to face his sickness. He was not as sick as he thought, and he went home that day.
I recommend this book to males that are in their teens and older. The main character was a male, so it relates more to males than females. It was a good read because it informs the reader that even though they are old, they can still be in great shape. That could help younger kids feel better about themselves when they get older.
December 4, 2014
Dr. Seuss wrote this book about himself when he was beginning to get very sick, he was in and out of the hospital and was suffering many illnesses. To pass his time in the waiting rooms and hospital beds he began to draw images of hospital machines and scenes of medical procedures. He eventually began to connect these into a book. This was one of his first books that was for elderly people and connected to a different audience. Although intended for a different audience, the pictures were still Dr. Seuss's signature, unique creatures and illustrations.
February 24, 2014
A fun book on the perils of aging.
December 4, 2014
hilarious and true to life
I was wondering what it would read like but I was laughing at the similarity that are in my life!
I was wondering what it would read like but I was laughing at the similarity that are in my life!
May 14, 2016
Another fantastic tongue twister by Seuss. Surprisingly a very accurate description of the medical system lol
Displaying 1 - 30 of 374 reviews