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This Is My Life
The early novel that established Meg Wolitzer’s career, later made into Nora Ephron’s first film as a director.
The third book by New York Times-bestselling author Meg Wolitzer (originally published as This Is Your Life), a smart, witty and perceptive novel about the daughters of a female stand-up comic who watch as their mother struggles to balance her career with the needs of her children.
Dottie Engels, comedienne extraordinaire, performs her act in Vegas and on late-night TV. Her two daughters, Opal and Erica, live on the periphery of her glittering life, seeing her on the television screen more often than they do at home. But when Dottie’s ratings begin to slide, it takes both her daughters to save Dottie from herself.
Displaying Wolitzer’s signature style that combines keen observations, compassion for her characters, sharp humor, and a strong social hook, This Is My Life expertly captures the uncertainties of adolescence and the trials of growing up in the shadow of a mother who is caught between the conflicting pulls of fame and family.
The third book by New York Times-bestselling author Meg Wolitzer (originally published as This Is Your Life), a smart, witty and perceptive novel about the daughters of a female stand-up comic who watch as their mother struggles to balance her career with the needs of her children.
Dottie Engels, comedienne extraordinaire, performs her act in Vegas and on late-night TV. Her two daughters, Opal and Erica, live on the periphery of her glittering life, seeing her on the television screen more often than they do at home. But when Dottie’s ratings begin to slide, it takes both her daughters to save Dottie from herself.
Displaying Wolitzer’s signature style that combines keen observations, compassion for her characters, sharp humor, and a strong social hook, This Is My Life expertly captures the uncertainties of adolescence and the trials of growing up in the shadow of a mother who is caught between the conflicting pulls of fame and family.
352 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1988
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1069 people want to read
About the author
Meg Wolitzer
49 books3,025 followersMeg Wolitzer is the New York Times–bestselling author of The Interestings, The Uncoupling, The Ten-Year Nap, The Position, The Wife, and Sleepwalking. She is also the author of the young adult novel Belzhar. Wolitzer lives in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
May 11, 2022
I think Meg Wolitzer gained a few pounds in the late 80s, hated that she did, then took it out on this book.
By the end of this novel, I knew next to nothing about these characters besides how much they weighed and how they felt about that weight. Then I watched the movie (Nora Ephron's directorial debut) which is a very loose adaptation of the first third of this book and while it was nice that Dottie had jokes about something other than her weight and it had its funny moments, it was a mess of a different kind.
Probably my least favorite Wolitzer novel so far.
Click here to hear more of my thoughts on this book over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
By the end of this novel, I knew next to nothing about these characters besides how much they weighed and how they felt about that weight. Then I watched the movie (Nora Ephron's directorial debut) which is a very loose adaptation of the first third of this book and while it was nice that Dottie had jokes about something other than her weight and it had its funny moments, it was a mess of a different kind.
Probably my least favorite Wolitzer novel so far.
Click here to hear more of my thoughts on this book over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
July 29, 2018
This supposed exploration of the mother/daughter bond left me flat. Despite privilege, a good relationship with their mother, and affirmation from every corner, both daughters go off the rails. Unfortunately, the author told us everything we needed to know without ever showing us any of it. For example, the older daughter becomes obsessed with her large size, convinced that plus sized women can never have fulfilling lives, meaningful friendships, joy in life. But, we never see how she comes to this conclusion despite her mother’s celebrity as a comedian who is heavy. We don’t watch her being mocked, isolated, or criticized. We don’t see her dieting or exercising. We just listen to her complain and settle for what she sees as the bottom of the barrel. The entire story followed this pattern of inform the reader and move on. This was a very disappointing read.
March 2, 2018
This was my least favorite of Wolitzer's novels (and she's quickly becoming one of my favorite contemporary authors, so my rating here is probably a little harsh, judging her against her own work rather than against everything I read). This novel lacked the depth and intricate plotting that some of her more recent ones do. Some of the characters felts more like caricatures than fleshed out people. All of that said, it read fluidly and kept my interest. But her other books that I've read (The Interestings; The Position; and (especially) The Ten-Year Nap) have so much more to offer. Start there.
May 16, 2019
Solid characters. I really do love books where the characters are so well written, that a big involved plot isn’t required. This book is a snapshot into their lives. I look forward to reading more of her books.
October 13, 2020
Dottie Engels ist in den 1980ern alleinerziehende Mutter zweier Töchter und ein Star am Comedy Himmel. Überall erkennt man sie sofort, extrovertiert wie sie ist, wird sie sofort zum Zentrum jeder Gesellschaft. Erica und Opal müssen häufig auf sie verzichten, während Dottie in Los Angeles auf der Bühne steht, werden sie von Babysittern, die sich jedoch kaum um sie kümmern, in New York betreut. Was Dottie zu ihrem Markenzeichen gemacht hat – der selbstironische Umgang mit ihrem Überwicht und dem offenkundig weit entfernten Schönheitsideal – wird für die 16-jährige Erica zunehmend zum Problem. Sie kann mit ihrem Körper nicht so entspannt umgehen wie die Mutter, mehr und mehr zieht sie sich zurück, bis irgendwann der völlige Bruch kommt. Auch für Opal und Dottie beginnen schwere Zeiten, als der Publikumsgeschmack sich ändert und der Stern der Mutter langsam sinkt.
Meg Wolitzer ist erst in den letzten Jahren in Deutschland als Autorin der Durchbruch gelungen, „Das ist dein Leben“ hat sie im Original schon 1988 veröffentlicht und man merkt dem Roman an, dass er noch nicht über die sprachliche Raffinesse und die überzeugende Figurenzeichnung verfügt, mit denen ihre späteren Romane „The Interestings“, „Belzhar“, „Die Ehefrau“ oder „The Female Persuasion“ mich restlos begeistern konnten.
Im Zentrum steht die Beziehung zwischen Mutter und den Töchtern. Dottie liebt diese über alles, trotz ihrer häufigen Abwesenheit wird sie ihrer Rolle als schützende Mutter gerecht, allerdings kann sie auf die zunehmenden Depressionen Ericas nicht wirklich reagieren. Opal, die 5 Jahre jünger ist, vergöttert die Mutter, was auch zu dem Auseinanderdriften der Schwestern führt. In Opal und Erica werden zwei gänzlich verschiedene Seiten von femininer Jugend aufgezeigt, die sich jedoch um die zentralen Aspekte des Umgangs mit dem eigenen Körper und auch den innerfamiliären Beziehungen drehen.
Es ist ein Roman seiner Zeit, das Kabelfernsehen mit seinen eigenen Regeln gibt es in der Form heute nicht mehr, auch die später gerade in New York zentrale Drogenproblematik, die ebenfalls aufgegriffen wird und vor allem der Lebensstil mit Fast Food und ohne die geringste Rücksichtnahme auf Körper und Gesundheit sind heute für Personen des Showbiz und öffentlichen Lebens kaum mehr vorstellbar.
Thematisch hat der Roman vieles zu bieten, nichtsdestotrotz konnte er mich leider nicht im erwarteten Maße für sich gewinnen. Es liegt eine Schwermut über der Handlung, die bisweilen erdrückend wirkt, so manche Länge forderte auch die Geduld heraus. Auch die Figuren blieben mir oft zu eindimensional und reduziert auf wenige Aspekte, um überzeugend zu wirken.
Meg Wolitzer ist erst in den letzten Jahren in Deutschland als Autorin der Durchbruch gelungen, „Das ist dein Leben“ hat sie im Original schon 1988 veröffentlicht und man merkt dem Roman an, dass er noch nicht über die sprachliche Raffinesse und die überzeugende Figurenzeichnung verfügt, mit denen ihre späteren Romane „The Interestings“, „Belzhar“, „Die Ehefrau“ oder „The Female Persuasion“ mich restlos begeistern konnten.
Im Zentrum steht die Beziehung zwischen Mutter und den Töchtern. Dottie liebt diese über alles, trotz ihrer häufigen Abwesenheit wird sie ihrer Rolle als schützende Mutter gerecht, allerdings kann sie auf die zunehmenden Depressionen Ericas nicht wirklich reagieren. Opal, die 5 Jahre jünger ist, vergöttert die Mutter, was auch zu dem Auseinanderdriften der Schwestern führt. In Opal und Erica werden zwei gänzlich verschiedene Seiten von femininer Jugend aufgezeigt, die sich jedoch um die zentralen Aspekte des Umgangs mit dem eigenen Körper und auch den innerfamiliären Beziehungen drehen.
Es ist ein Roman seiner Zeit, das Kabelfernsehen mit seinen eigenen Regeln gibt es in der Form heute nicht mehr, auch die später gerade in New York zentrale Drogenproblematik, die ebenfalls aufgegriffen wird und vor allem der Lebensstil mit Fast Food und ohne die geringste Rücksichtnahme auf Körper und Gesundheit sind heute für Personen des Showbiz und öffentlichen Lebens kaum mehr vorstellbar.
Thematisch hat der Roman vieles zu bieten, nichtsdestotrotz konnte er mich leider nicht im erwarteten Maße für sich gewinnen. Es liegt eine Schwermut über der Handlung, die bisweilen erdrückend wirkt, so manche Länge forderte auch die Geduld heraus. Auch die Figuren blieben mir oft zu eindimensional und reduziert auf wenige Aspekte, um überzeugend zu wirken.
April 8, 2018
Although this is 30 years old it still *almost* holds up to her newer works. I fell in love with Dottie, Opal, and Erica. The ending was fairly abrupt. Still great, though.
June 19, 2023
A sometimes moving but mostly very funny, very frank novel.
September 27, 2019
I love this author. But this book fell flat for me. Part one was extremely slow. After that it picked up but it just wasn’t for me.
January 13, 2023
It was fine. I enjoyed but not my favorite of hers
April 12, 2019
This was a worrying and incredibly depressing character study of some of the saddest daughters I've read about. I was expecting a fun romp, akin to the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with the blurb on the back--schticky, standup comic in the 70s leaves her kids at home and they grow up with all kinds of drama in their lives. Interestingly, this book reminded me more of Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld than any other Meg Wolitzer book. Both those books took the messed up childhoods of middle class girls and took them through to their logical conclusions into dysfunctional adulthood replete with complex upon complex.
I couldn't decide whether Erica and Opal were totally understandable and their psychological problems very realistic, or whether it was all a bit much, Erica in particular. I mean I have no trouble believing that a girl whose mother makes her living telling fat jokes and using her body as the punchline would grow up to develop an incredibly unhealthy self-image and self-hatred, but did she have to be so submissive and passive in her relationship with Jordan? Jordan was the absolute worst, scum of the earth. All he does all day is snort cocaine and flirt with his teenaged dealers and buyers, all the while literally ignoring Erica, his live-in girlfriend. Come on Erica! It's like a caricature of a bad boyfriend. Her standing up for herself and leaving him by the way was not nearly cathartic enough. She said nothing and literally just left. Then continues to be nearly suicidal and completely devoid of motivation or purpose throughout the last fourth of the book. It would have been nice if she could have gained some ounce of self-respect or clarity from that, or from her dalliance with the psychology grad student. He by the way, was also awful! Manipulative, two-timing, faux-compassionate. Her relationship with Jordan actually reminded me a bit of Lucia Berlin's harrowing stories, and she writes with the most gritty realism I've read, so....I guess maybe Erica's story is realistic?
I found the parts about the inevitable downturn of fame to be really interesting. That's where Opal's complexes come in, as she feels responsible for her mother and secretly cringes at her attempts to cling to her dying career. Dottie was clearly modeled on Joan Rivers, but honestly, her jokes were atrocious. Schticky and schlocky doesn't even begin to describe it. When was humor like that ever fresh and outrageous?? Long time ago.
Anyway, the whole thing was a real bummer, and the ending was a bit lackluster. Dottie just loses all the weight and the girls are kind of...there.
I couldn't decide whether Erica and Opal were totally understandable and their psychological problems very realistic, or whether it was all a bit much, Erica in particular. I mean I have no trouble believing that a girl whose mother makes her living telling fat jokes and using her body as the punchline would grow up to develop an incredibly unhealthy self-image and self-hatred, but did she have to be so submissive and passive in her relationship with Jordan? Jordan was the absolute worst, scum of the earth. All he does all day is snort cocaine and flirt with his teenaged dealers and buyers, all the while literally ignoring Erica, his live-in girlfriend. Come on Erica! It's like a caricature of a bad boyfriend. Her standing up for herself and leaving him by the way was not nearly cathartic enough. She said nothing and literally just left. Then continues to be nearly suicidal and completely devoid of motivation or purpose throughout the last fourth of the book. It would have been nice if she could have gained some ounce of self-respect or clarity from that, or from her dalliance with the psychology grad student. He by the way, was also awful! Manipulative, two-timing, faux-compassionate. Her relationship with Jordan actually reminded me a bit of Lucia Berlin's harrowing stories, and she writes with the most gritty realism I've read, so....I guess maybe Erica's story is realistic?
I found the parts about the inevitable downturn of fame to be really interesting. That's where Opal's complexes come in, as she feels responsible for her mother and secretly cringes at her attempts to cling to her dying career. Dottie was clearly modeled on Joan Rivers, but honestly, her jokes were atrocious. Schticky and schlocky doesn't even begin to describe it. When was humor like that ever fresh and outrageous?? Long time ago.
Anyway, the whole thing was a real bummer, and the ending was a bit lackluster. Dottie just loses all the weight and the girls are kind of...there.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 21, 2021
This is minor Wolitzer, for sure...which means that it's merely astute, sensitive, and impeccably written. There are so many gorgeous observations about family, show business, and what it's like to live inside your own body. And it's so refreshing to have three fat characters who have drastically different relationships with their weight. I'm very curious to compare it to the movie now.
January 12, 2019
Meg Wolitzer is one of my favorite authors. This is her third novel, written in 1988, which I searched out after reading her most recent works. It begins with the 1970s childhood of Opal and Erica, daughters of famous comedian Dottie Engels, who is divorced from their father. After a lot of struggle and hard work, Dottie gets her big break on television, the peak of success and a dominant cultural force in the girls' lives. It loomed large in everyone's lives, and the programs on the three network channels were national topics of conversation, things everyone could talk about, as I can attest.
Dottie is rarely home, so the girls are often alone in their huge Manhattan apartment in the custody of various quirky young adults who admire Dottie and hope to break into comedy (stand-up comedy, I guess) themselves. Dottie seems to be modeled on Phyllis Diller, only instead of joking about her looks and age, it's all about her weight--she is quite heavy. Erica, who is several years older than Opal, is overweight, too, and becomes uneasy with Dottie's self degradation, but in a sublimated, repressed way. She feels more and more cut off from Dottie and Opal, and from herself. Soon her actions--like hanging out with, and then having sex with, a boy who's kind of strange and doesn't actually care about Erica--lead to her estrangement from Dottie and Opal and even further from caring about herself.
Opal, meanwhile, is agile both physically and socially, attractive and likable. She has friends (but not boyfriends) and some conventional milestones of success, like attending college, but then dropping out for a year. She is given an internship on a hot new comedy show, I suppose kind of like Saturday Night Live was compared to the old variety shows like Carol Burnett. Dottie's fame and demand for her comedy routines plummet as her kind of humor falls out of favor. Opal goes from her mother's child and admirer to her psychological caretaker. Dottie's health issues in the succeeding years are a catalyst for Erica and Opal to reconnect.
Meg Wolitzer's skill in making is feel like we're insiders in the lives of her characters is well developed in this novel. We're as involved as they are in figuring out what's next and how it will unfold. I got a little tired of Erica's long spiral of self-destruction despite the glimpses of her acuity and humor along the way. It felt true to life, but I got impatient. Opal was hard to understand, but I think Wolitzer shows us some of Opal's underlying psychology with a thread about Opal's efforts to contact her father and his silence in reply. My impatience with Erica and Opal is also part of the book's success in making me want them to be happy, to figure out what they are doing wrong.
Sometimes books immersed in the culture and day-to-day living of contemporary characters don't age well, but this one does okay. Wolitzer has an idea about the influence and history of TV so she tells the story knowing some of its fate; by 1988 cable TV was big. Something that I couldn't reconcile, even though I know it was true to the era, was the nature of Dottie's comedy: making fun of herself because she was fat. It made me really uncomfortable and it was a little unbelievable that more women didn't feel the same way besides poor Erica. One of the girls' babysitters, Mia, is a sharp, up-and-coming comedian and she finds Dottie hilarious. I could hardly believe that, but we underestimate the influence of history's attitudes and customs. Women were considered inferior if they were not conventionally pretty. And maybe that's a hopeful past tense.
Dottie is rarely home, so the girls are often alone in their huge Manhattan apartment in the custody of various quirky young adults who admire Dottie and hope to break into comedy (stand-up comedy, I guess) themselves. Dottie seems to be modeled on Phyllis Diller, only instead of joking about her looks and age, it's all about her weight--she is quite heavy. Erica, who is several years older than Opal, is overweight, too, and becomes uneasy with Dottie's self degradation, but in a sublimated, repressed way. She feels more and more cut off from Dottie and Opal, and from herself. Soon her actions--like hanging out with, and then having sex with, a boy who's kind of strange and doesn't actually care about Erica--lead to her estrangement from Dottie and Opal and even further from caring about herself.
Opal, meanwhile, is agile both physically and socially, attractive and likable. She has friends (but not boyfriends) and some conventional milestones of success, like attending college, but then dropping out for a year. She is given an internship on a hot new comedy show, I suppose kind of like Saturday Night Live was compared to the old variety shows like Carol Burnett. Dottie's fame and demand for her comedy routines plummet as her kind of humor falls out of favor. Opal goes from her mother's child and admirer to her psychological caretaker. Dottie's health issues in the succeeding years are a catalyst for Erica and Opal to reconnect.
Meg Wolitzer's skill in making is feel like we're insiders in the lives of her characters is well developed in this novel. We're as involved as they are in figuring out what's next and how it will unfold. I got a little tired of Erica's long spiral of self-destruction despite the glimpses of her acuity and humor along the way. It felt true to life, but I got impatient. Opal was hard to understand, but I think Wolitzer shows us some of Opal's underlying psychology with a thread about Opal's efforts to contact her father and his silence in reply. My impatience with Erica and Opal is also part of the book's success in making me want them to be happy, to figure out what they are doing wrong.
Sometimes books immersed in the culture and day-to-day living of contemporary characters don't age well, but this one does okay. Wolitzer has an idea about the influence and history of TV so she tells the story knowing some of its fate; by 1988 cable TV was big. Something that I couldn't reconcile, even though I know it was true to the era, was the nature of Dottie's comedy: making fun of herself because she was fat. It made me really uncomfortable and it was a little unbelievable that more women didn't feel the same way besides poor Erica. One of the girls' babysitters, Mia, is a sharp, up-and-coming comedian and she finds Dottie hilarious. I could hardly believe that, but we underestimate the influence of history's attitudes and customs. Women were considered inferior if they were not conventionally pretty. And maybe that's a hopeful past tense.
September 8, 2018
It's interesting to watch the trailer for this movie adaptation vs the trailer for Wolitzer's most recent one, THE WIFE. This story is played up very much as comedy, with a focus on Dottie as the main character and her daughters as young girls. The main conflict is whether or not she, as a single mother, should be allowed to pursue her dreams when it takes so much time away from her children. At least that's the way it appeared in the trailer. Also, Wolitzer wasn't mentioned at all, just Nora Ephron as newbie director. Kind of an about-face to THE WIFE as a dramatic piece where Wolitzer gets credit as the author.
I'm glad that this book is more complicated than the trailer--and also than the cover copy! I was worried that daughters Erica and Opal would be reduced to the nutcase and the success story, but neither of them were quite as stuck in those stereotypes as they could've been. I think I'm in the minority opinion here, but they seemed to be the main characters much more than Dottie was. Not only in the vein of emotional neglect, such as it was, but also in their own lives and choices. The book moves them from teenagehood into young adulthood.
The narrative did feel a little choppy. I dunno, maybe I'm growing more biased towards sprawling epics. I couldn't get fully invested, particularly with Opal. On the other hand, Wolitzer's handling of the identity and self-esteem of fat women felt refreshingly multi-faceted. (Another thing missing from the movie, unsurprisingly...obesity.) She also touched a little bit on the changing cultural norms about self-defacing body-image humor (Dottie is a comedian made famous by mocking her own fatness), but later books go deeper into these sorts of socio-political themes.
All in all, I wonder if Wolitzer found her stride in things I like in her writing when she reached her 30s. :P This is a good enough story, but it definitely feels less than her later works. I dunno what I'd make of the movie. I know Wolitzer and Ephron became friends, and there's probably some sweet sentimentality to it. But the trailer certainly makes it feel reductive. I'd probably appreciate the book more after viewing it, hee.
I'm glad that this book is more complicated than the trailer--and also than the cover copy! I was worried that daughters Erica and Opal would be reduced to the nutcase and the success story, but neither of them were quite as stuck in those stereotypes as they could've been. I think I'm in the minority opinion here, but they seemed to be the main characters much more than Dottie was. Not only in the vein of emotional neglect, such as it was, but also in their own lives and choices. The book moves them from teenagehood into young adulthood.
The narrative did feel a little choppy. I dunno, maybe I'm growing more biased towards sprawling epics. I couldn't get fully invested, particularly with Opal. On the other hand, Wolitzer's handling of the identity and self-esteem of fat women felt refreshingly multi-faceted. (Another thing missing from the movie, unsurprisingly...obesity.) She also touched a little bit on the changing cultural norms about self-defacing body-image humor (Dottie is a comedian made famous by mocking her own fatness), but later books go deeper into these sorts of socio-political themes.
All in all, I wonder if Wolitzer found her stride in things I like in her writing when she reached her 30s. :P This is a good enough story, but it definitely feels less than her later works. I dunno what I'd make of the movie. I know Wolitzer and Ephron became friends, and there's probably some sweet sentimentality to it. But the trailer certainly makes it feel reductive. I'd probably appreciate the book more after viewing it, hee.
October 19, 2025
This book made me feel sad the whole way through. Stories of three characters are told in detail. The first was about Dottie Engels, a very successful comedienne in the 1960’s whose humor focused on her obesity. The second story was about Erica Engels, Dottie’s oldest daughter, who was also obese. Erica’s obesity sank her self image so low that she was satisfied staying in a relationship with a cocaine dealer who gave her no respect. The third story was about Opal Engels, who was thin unlike her older sister, Erika. Opal was embarrassed by and sympathetic to her mother, Dottie, so she dropped out of college to live with her mother when Dottie’s comedy career declined.
Meg Wolitzer is such a great and amazing writer who has an unmatched skill for getting the reader to deeply care about her characters. For this novel this meant deep sadness because there was no comic relief or relief of any kind related to their miserable lives. I had to read to the end of the stories but now I’m glad I finished and the stories have ended.
Meg Wolitzer is such a great and amazing writer who has an unmatched skill for getting the reader to deeply care about her characters. For this novel this meant deep sadness because there was no comic relief or relief of any kind related to their miserable lives. I had to read to the end of the stories but now I’m glad I finished and the stories have ended.
July 25, 2019
This novel was an early entry in Meg Wollitzer's oevre. It was written over thirty years ago but just doesn't hold up. The prose has Wollitzer's trademark humor and and on target descriptions. The premise is interesting- a Totie Fields like comedienne as seen through the eyes of her two daughters. I was interested in reading this after seeing a reference to the movie based upon it. A critic of the popular Mrs. Mazel series had pointed to this as a much more interesting depiction of a female comic in the 60s. I found the first half of the book to be a mildly entertaining look at of what it's like to grow up the children of a celebrity. The last third of the book took a strange turn as the obese Dottie Engels has a heart attack and is forced to go to a fat farm. Dottie's weight melts away and she's no longer herself. Somehow the implication of that wasn't fully explored and the book ends abruptly. It's an interesting book but not one of Wollitzer's best.
July 14, 2021
This book was not quite what it sold itself as. If you read the jacket copy it doesn't mention anything about Dottie's weight or anything about obesity and that's a major element of the plot. It certainly mentions her career as a comedian, which is central to the plot but doesn't actually end up being much of the focus of the story. In fact, in terms of story, there isn't all that much. But I don't say that as a criticism. I'm always impressed with writers who can eschew a very clear A to B to C plot without their work feeling formless and meandering, but Meg Wolitzer does just that in this novel. It feels like we just drop in on this family's life for a bit and see what's happening, then lift right back out. But the characters are layered and frustrating and endearing, the writing is insightful and funny, and the pace is confident. I've read several books by her and none of them have left me disappointed. This is no exception.
June 6, 2021
This is the story of two daughters of a Joan Rivers/Totie Fields type comedienne who makes a career in the early 70's out of poking fun at her own physical size. Their outsize mother Dottie bravely left a loveless marriage with an unyielding man and took her two girls with her as she climbed the ladder of success - becoming a popular talk show guest and club headliner. The girls live in her physical and fame shadow - one rejecting it and the other finding all her own worth bound up in her mother's shadow. As Dottie's star fades, the two girls struggle to find a life in and out of her shadow. This book was melancholy, and ended before it felt finished. But it was well written and the characters felt like real people. As a reader, I wish the two daughters (whose names I can't remember now!) were allowed to actually have personalities..... it felt unfinished.
December 31, 2021
The 1992 Julie Kavner-Gaby Hoffman movie is loaded with nostalgia for me, growing up we watched it every Mother’s Day weekend and being a kid right outside NYC it’s a great time capsule movie for my early childhood. I decided to give the book its based off of a try going into it with a lot of love for the movie. The book is very very different from the movie. The main premise is there: Dottie is a comedienne with two daughters Erica and Opal. It primarily takes place from the early 70s to early 80s. While there is still humor it deals with a lot more serious issues like fat shaming, co dependency, abandonment. The movie was more so “inspired by” this book so do not go into it thinking they are the same. It is still a very well written, compelling narrative.
October 1, 2025
I admired how real Wolitzer's characters and relationships felt. They seem like people you know and interact with every day. I think some of the anxieties and insecurities these women feel about their identities and their bodies are really shrewdly observed, but also very much informed by the '80s context. Looks like other readers have gone back and forth on whether those insecurities have aged well or not! It's interesting to weigh a book against its film adaptation (one of Nora Ephron's best, in my opinion!) and find they come out on about even footing, albeit with different strengths.
April 16, 2021
This book really resonated with me. It does perfect justice to the lives led by several women who take it upon themselves to become the sole earners of the family and in that have to very often trade off their inter personal bonds with their children and family. The book was very realistic and stayed away from any kind of sugar coating that usually goes along with sensationalizing a working woman’s act of working hard and just simply pursuing her true calling.
May 7, 2020
I am one of the people who came to this book via the movie, Nora Ephron's 1992 directorial debut starring Julie Kavner. The book's plot is quite different from that of the film, but I really like Meg Wolitzer's writing and, in this case, enjoyed the complexities of the mother/daughters' relationship.
June 21, 2020
I picked this book up years ago because I am a huge fan of the author. I avoided it for years afterward because I stumbled across the 1992 movie version and it was dreadful. Beyond dreadful!
But my love of Meg Wolitzer won out and I’m so glad it did.
Dottie is a divorced mother of two struggling to make it as a stand up comic in the 1970s. This book is smart, funny, sad, and has so much to say.
But my love of Meg Wolitzer won out and I’m so glad it did.
Dottie is a divorced mother of two struggling to make it as a stand up comic in the 1970s. This book is smart, funny, sad, and has so much to say.
July 29, 2020
Meg Wolitzer is a great writer! You really feel what her characters feel, which is that rare ability only gifted writers have. This story of Dottie, a stand-up comedienne, and her two daughters, Erica and Opal, is heart-warming, funny, sad and realistic. I want to know more about these women, and I will definitely make a point of seeing the movie, which was Nora Ephron's directorial debut.
July 25, 2019
This was really sweet. Shades of She’s Come Undone in the writing and the character of Erica- blasé and uninterested in the world, but wants to be. Liked the relationships and it was realistic- at times sadly so, in a good way.
September 12, 2020
I've seen the movie (though not in a long time) which is completely different than this. It's almost a different story...I'm used to that, but I didn't really care for this story or any of the characters.
June 24, 2021
This book was extremely boring and predictable. I found the characters to be flat and not likeable at all. I was disappointed having read other novels by Wolitzer which have been much more exciting and engaging. This book was a disappointment, I don’t recommend it.
July 20, 2021
I enjoyed the book, but it was a little depressing.
I had seen the movie many years ago so I was expecting something a bit different. The book was more about the the two daughters rather than the comedic rise of the mother.
I had seen the movie many years ago so I was expecting something a bit different. The book was more about the the two daughters rather than the comedic rise of the mother.
February 26, 2025
The writing is good. At first, I thought I would really love this story, but it deteriorated. Dottie Engels' daughters, parented by various comedy-wannabe babysitters, spiraled into extreme unhappiness. I finished the book with relief. Poor Dottie, Erica, and Opal.
January 30, 2018
I really wanted to give it three and a half stars. Better than many of my three-star books, but not quite a four. It's a quick read.
February 18, 2018
I love this author; however I did not love this book.
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