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The Exes in My Ipod: A Playlist of the Men Who Rocked Me to Wine Country

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This edition has been discontinuted and replaced with "The Exes in my Glass: How I Refined my Taste in Men & Alcohol"

When Harley Aberle got her first iPod, she created the kind of playlist every girl wants to keep on solitary lockdown. She called it The Exes—a collection of long-lost songs that instantly steamrolled her down a memory lane of men wider than a six-lane freeway. The Exes in My iPod: A Playlist of the Men Who Rocked Me to Wine Country is a no-holds-barred account of Harley’s quest to win the hearts of a motley crew of men during her twenties—that golden decade of poor judgment where college, career, alcohol and romance run a crash course. With a musical time capsule of “lucky 13” songs, Harley takes you on a rockin’ journey through laugh-out-loud heartaches and headaches, as this redneck waitress from a long line of alcoholics searches for true love and her calling in life—finding both in California wine country. Grab some earbuds, pour a glass of wine and kick back with an amusing e-book that will inspire you to create your own Exes playlist and discover the hidden beauty of all that baggage.

362 pages, Paperback

First published October 31, 2013

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468 people want to read

About the author

Lisa M. Mattson

5 books20 followers
With a bachelor’s degree in communications and a master’s in heartache, Lisa Mattson’s fate to write about bad romances was sealed in elementary school when a snowball fight with her first boyfriend landed him in the hospital. He dumped her the following day.

Raised in rural Kansas, Mattson’s childhood was filled with cheap beer and fried chicken—an ideal foundation for a career promoting prestige wineries. Many nights spent raccoon hunting also prepared Mattson for her first journalism job writing obituaries for a daily newspaper. She escaped to Florida during college, where she chased boys and caught rays while waiting tables. Not long after taking her first wine class at Florida International University, Mattson was sipping Malbecs and editing stories for a wine magazine.

Twenty years and many ex-boyfriends later, Lisa Mattson is considered a thought leader in wine marketing, known for creating an award-winning winery blog, clever videos and compelling digital media content. Taking the not-so-straight-or-narrow road to finding her dream job and her dream guy was the most fulfilling—and humbling—journey of her life. The Exes in My Glass: How I Refined My Taste in Men & Alcohol is her memoir.

She resides in Sonoma County wine country with her husband, their Italian greyhound and a Champagne-centric wine collection.

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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
Profile Image for Traci.
14 reviews28 followers
February 10, 2014
I won this book from a Goodreads First Reads contest. I don't know if Lisa meant for her book to be an inspiration to other women when she wrote this book, but I feel that that is exactly what this book is and can be to the women who read it. Single ladies as well as Married ladies need to Read This Book! In some way, every woman could relate to at least 1 of the relationships that Lisa writes about.

When I found out I'd won this book, I found that it was one I could not get out of my head. While I was waiting for the book to come I began to wonder if the book would be a good read, I mean how good could a book about exes be? I so love it when a book turns out to be 1000 times better than I thought it would be!

There are some sassy attitudes and humor mixed in and it made the book easy to read. I actually found myself laughing out loud so I had to read the paragraph to my husband so he knew why I was laughing. The part was "That is when I decided Fernando was an alien." You've got to read this book, and his chapter, to get the real humor in that sentence.

In life, sometimes we find ourselves settling for men that are less than we truly deserve just so we aren't alone. Some women are lucky enough to find their soul mate in high school, get married and grow old with them.

Thank you Lisa for a great book and the inspiration to not settle and to reach for my dream job. This book is a MUST READ for every woman!
222 reviews7 followers
July 19, 2014
Music just has a way to inspire feelings and moods in us, especially when it comes to love. There is a song you and your prom date danced to. You and your spouse have “your song.” There is a song that always gets you in the mood for some sexy time. There is a song you played on repeat when some jerk stomped all over your heart. There is a song that reminds you of Mr. Right or maybe just Mr. Right Now. And then there are songs that remind you of Mr. Wrong.

Harley Aberle has quite a few Mr. Wrongs in her past, 13 to be exact; she also has 13 songs for each one of these miscreants who make up a section of her iPod called the Exes. And she tells us about her rocky road to blissful romance and professional success in Lisa Mattson’s somewhat autobiographical novel The Exes in My iPod-A Playlist of the Men Who Rocked Me to Wine Country.

When we first meet Harley (yes, just like the iconic motorcycle) she is twenty-years-old and a recent Kansas transplant living in Florida with her slacker boyfriend Chris. Both are on a break from college, and though Harley wants to resume her education Chris is more suited to smoking weed and avoiding responsibility. Harley wants to make her relationship with Chris work, but she has her serious doubts. And after she and Chris break up, these doubts continue to hound Harley as she goes from one doomed relationship to another.

Harley’s 13 past loves are a collection of cheaters, secretly married men, mama’s boys, users, a less than exciting ex-husband and other assorted jerks. Some relationships barely last longer than a power ballad and others go on way after the concert lights go on and it’s time to go home. The songs that relate to certain men are a potpourri of musical acts like the Grateful Dead, Nine Inch Nails, Everything But the Girl, James Taylor and the Black-Eyed Peas.

Throughout Harley’s decade of making bad romantic decisions, she is riddled with self-doubt and a serious lack of self-esteem. She bemoans her flat chest, her big hips and her scars. She constantly compares herself to other women. Harley is also haunted by her childhood. She grew up in a very dysfunctional family in small-town Kansas. She wants to escape her less than refined upbringing, and overcome her family’s lack of educational and professional achievement. She also wonders if her parents’ frayed marriage has negatively influenced her romantic choices.

Like a lot of other people, Harley often mistakes sex for love and falls into bed way too soon with her panties askew. However, Harley also acknowledges her own carnal desires, and certainly doesn’t mind indulging in them. I’m sure some uptight people would shake a scolding finger at Harley and sniff, “Well, why buy the cow when the milk is free?” to which I say, “Why buy the pig when all you want is a little sausage.”

Did I mention sex? Yes, sex plays a big part of Harley’s life and Mattson is not shy about writing somewhat explicit sex scenes. Sure many of them are quite steamy and raise the room’s temperature quite a bit. But Mattson also brings in elements of cringe-inducing humor during some of Harley’s mattress dancing. She compares one gentleman’s penis to a gummy bear. Hmm, Gummy Bear Penis would be a great name for a band.

However, whatever Harley lacks in the romantic department she definitely makes up when it comes to her education and career aspirations. Harley has a work ethic that would put Martha Stewart to shame. She busts her ass in college and also holds down a job at the Cheesecake Factory. It is while in college Harley takes a course on wine and finds her true passion. She makes having a career in the wine industry (especially one in California’s wine country) a top priority and is fortunate to have a professor who acts as a wise mentor.

So with her strong work ethic and a degree in communications, Harley starts her career working in wine marketing and PR going from strength to strength. Yet, her romantic life still remains shaky. However, as she grows as a professional and just grows up, Harley begins to realize she deserves better and perhaps it’s time to make some better decisions when it comes it comes to finding a fulfilling relationship. Okay, at times this includes having her mom do an astrological chart for one of her boyfriends, but at least she’s trying.

Will Harley find her one and only, her always and forever, her true Mr. Right? Will Harley finally make it to wine country? And will her romantic life reflect lyrics more like “It’s very clear/Our love is here to stay/Not for a year, but ever and a day.”* Or will it reflect, “Then love, love will tear us apart again/Love, love will tear us apart again.”**

The Exes in My iPod is both bittersweet and has good doses of humor. I often wanted to shake Harley and shout, “Stop being so stupid, girl!” But I also found myself nodding my head in recognition. There were times I felt I needed a spreadsheet to keep track of all of Harley’s past loves. I was surprised one of them didn’t include a gay guy on the down low. Or is that just me?

At times I did get confused by the wine jargon, probably because though I’m a wine drinker, I’m hardly an expert. I can barely pronounce sommelier. A simple Google search could help me with my wine confusion. And did you know if wine is too cold, the scents are too muted. And if the wine is too warm, the alcohol is accentuated. The more you know.

I related mostly to the musical aspects of the book, and I really thought using music as a tool to describe Harley’s past relationships was quite clever (and the digital form of The Exes in My iPod provides a link to the songs outlined in the book). I am also thrilled one of the songs chosen is “Troubled Mind” by the criminally under-rated Everything But the Girl. “Troubled Mind” played heavily on my psyche back in the 1990s.

The Exes in My iPod does have a few faults. It sometimes reads more like a memoir or a collection of essays than a novel, but perhaps that was Mattson’s intent. There are a few spelling and grammatical errors that could have benefited from some good editing but considering this book is self-published I’ll cut Mattson some slack.

The Exes in My iPod is a fun book, just right for summer beach reading and is a bit of an alternative to the chick lit genre. Enjoy it with your favorite glass of wine and get ready to make your own exes playlist.

* “Our Love is Here to Stay”-Music by George Gershwin and lyrics by Ira Gershwin
**”Love Will Tear Us Apart”-Music and lyrics by Ian Curtis, Peter Hook, Stephen Morris and Bernard Sumner

Originally Published at the Book Self:
http://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com/...
Profile Image for Nicki.
167 reviews5 followers
April 15, 2014
I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads First Reads.

This is book a great adventure! I've actually envisioned writing a book like this about my own life someday, which makes a lot of sense. I think that Mattson tells the story that so many women have lived. We make mistakes in our relationships (and have mistakes made to us) but learn from them. Gradually pain turns into lessons and we grow and do better.

What I like best is that Mattson doesn't tell the story from a place of self-pity in the beginning or condescension at the end. She tells it like your best girlfriend with the soundtrack of her life playing in the background. I want to read more from this author!
Profile Image for Tammy Holloway.
8 reviews16 followers
October 12, 2013
A very funny, entertaining, relatable tale of looking for love in all the wrong places.
Profile Image for Katie.
121 reviews
June 10, 2014
I noticed another reader mentioned that this was a quick read. I'll be honest, it took me awhile to get through this novel. It's not a difficult read, just a frustrating one, as Harley, the main character, is just SO F'ING STUPID.

I'm sorry, I can't take women (fictitious or otherwise) who are so blind when it comes to dating and relationships. While I do enjoy the premise of the book (relating exes to songs? YES!), I was disgusted that it took over 2/3 of the book for Harley to realize that *gasp* she didn't HAVE to sleep with every coworker in search of her soulmate! She didn't have to use sex to define her worth as a human being!

Oh my God. Harley is such a trite character and she is endlessly frustrating and annoying. Her choices in men aren't always appalling, but Raul and Chance? Girl is blind as a bat for even trying a relationship with those two. Especially Chance. She literally liked NOTHING about him except his money and his vineyard. Why bother? Move ON! Ugh, sometimes I swear I had to put the book down just to avoid throwing it across the room.

My favorite part, however, has to be when Harley was dead set that she'd found The One.... A whole 90 days after she'd filed for divorce. Are you serious? Women who need a man or need to be in a relationship to feel whole are wholly annoying. Please, women around the world, grow a pair and realize that a man does not define you.

Despite my blatant hatred for the main character and all of her immaturity (which honestly carried on through to the last few pages), the book was relatively well written. I liked Mattson's vivid descriptions, especially as she developed a taste for wine. I, personally, am not a wine drinker, but I felt like I was sampling the glasses she was drinking. I just wish Mattson would've given her main character more spine, especially earlier in the book.

I might recommend this book to a friend, but only for the wine aspect. The "finding Mr. Right" plot was tedious and somewhat redundant, and I don't think many of my friends would enjoy reading that.

***I received this book for free as a winner of a "Goodreads First Read" giveaway.***
Profile Image for Tina.
397 reviews3 followers
September 9, 2014
Please don't waste your time or money on this garbage. This is one of the worst books I've ever read, and I want my $1.99 back.

The entire premise is that the author connects her exes to the song that most reminds her of them. Not once is there an explanation of why the song reminds her of a particular person other then they listened to it together, or the comment that the song helped her feel better after their relationship. The entire point of the title is lost if there's no connection to your story.

Also, I hated the main character/narrator. It's clearly a stand in for the author and I really hope she grew a brain at some point, because Harley of the book is the stupidest person I've come across. Basically all of the chapters' men are interchangable, because she details the same relationship about a dozen times. She clearly doesn't learn from her mistakes. Also, when she discovered wine, she decided to be a pretentious asshole about it. The last half of the book, when Harley decides she likes wine and wants to build a career out of it, is peppered with analogies about wine, nonsensical comments about wine, stories about wine, etc. About one per paragraph. You can't finish a sentence without her thinking about tannins or teaching one of her men about wine.

You can do better. Run away from this piece of nonsense.
191 reviews8 followers
January 18, 2015
This book shares the life’s journey of love seen through the eyes and heart of a young insecure girl who suffers from low self esteem.
Harley Aberle is determined to be the first one in her family to graduate from college. She has set some high goals for herself but often loses focus due to seeking love in all the wrong men. Harley assigns a song to each failed relationship which reminds her of the life lesson she learned during their association.
For me, this book was long and tedious. Throughout the first part of the book Harley keeps making the same choices over and over. It did take on some substance when she finally developed a backbone and started showing some moral responsibilities. I think the story would have been so much better if her relationships would have been cut in half, making each of the ones she experienced truly meaningful….
but alas to each it’s own!
Stephanie Lasley, from The Kindle Book Review
The Kindle Book Review received a free copy of this book for an independent, fair, and honest review. We are not associated with the author or Amazon.


143 reviews1 follower
July 1, 2014


Review in return for a free copy from the author

This book follows a journey with a rocky beginning and solid ending. Written with hindsight, the author portrays lessoned learned through relationships with some of her boyfriends. It took me a few chapters to get into it and three quarters of the for the main character to seem well rounded as a product of her journey. I don’t usually stick with books that take more than 50 pages to hook me but I’m glad I finished this one just for the expected, yet satisfying ending.

I like the format of this book, the idea that people in our past somehow form a “playlist” or person that we carry with us. The digital version includes links to songs (each boyfriend/relationship has a song), which was a great way to connect with plot and author’s vision of life through music.

This is a good, quick read.
Profile Image for Nancy.
199 reviews3 followers
June 21, 2015
Highly predictable.

This book is no good news for whomever wants emotion and new things and interesting cliffhangers.

We follow Harley through her relationships with problematic men as she grows from a waitress to a successful women in the wine industry, but don't hold your breaths because in the end, she does get a prince.

The themes it touches are left superficially and not taken into account as deeply as it should've been to help character development.
Profile Image for Diane.
707 reviews24 followers
December 13, 2014
Great idea. Writing got better as the book progressed, and it ended on a positive note. Overall though, not quite my thing.
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