Going to Pieces without Falling Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness

by Mark Epstein

For decades, Western psychology has promised fulfillment through building and strengthening the ego. We are taught that the ideal is a strong, individuated self, constructed and reinforced over a lifetime. But Buddhist psychiatrist Mark Epstein has found a different way. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart shows us that happiness doesn't come from any kind of acquisitiveness, be it material or psychological. Happiness comes from letting go. Weaving together the accumulated wisdom of his two worlds--Buddhism and Western psychotherapy--Epstein shows how "the happiness that we seek depends on our ability to balance the ego's need to do with our inherent capacity to be." He encourages us to relax the ever-vigilant mind in order to experience the freedom that comes only from relinquishing control. Drawing on events in his own life and stories from his patients, Going to Pieces  Without Falling Apart teaches us that only by letting go can we start on the path to a more peaceful and spiritually satisfying life.

About The Author: Mark Epstein, M.D., is a psychiatrist in private practice and the author of Thoughts Without a Thinker . He is a contributing editor to Tricycle: The Buddhist Review and clinical assistant professor of psychology at New York University. He lives in New York City.

Genres: Buddhism, Nonfiction, Psychology, Spirituality, Self Help, Philosophy, Meditation

200 pages, Paperback

First published June 15, 1998

About the author

Mark Epstein, M.D. is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy. He received his undergraduate and medical degrees from Harvard University and is currently Clinical Assistant Professor in the Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University.

Reviews

[Dan Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's not an exaggeration to say this book changed my life. It got me to consider meditation, something I'd always considered uniquely odious, but now believe has made me 10% happier. Also, I've become friends with Mark, and he's a gem.

[Ken]

Every once in a while, I need a hit of Buddhism. Something about the complex simplicity of it fascinates me. I would happily have lunch with a koan and guess myself silly through coffee and dessert.

Epstein's book is a bit unique in that he's a psychologist AND practicing Buddhist. That means the ideal reader would be one versed in psychoanalytical as well as Buddhist terms. I got a bit lost at times when Epstein dove into the former. As for the latter, all good, except for occasional guesses (back to my restaurant date).

Plenty of anecdotes from the life of the Buddha and other famous monks (the Dalai Lama even makes a cameo!). Also tales from Epstein's own practice (names of the innocents changed, as Dr. Epstein shows you how the Buddha sometimes has better answers than Freud and Friends).

So, yeah. One of those books where you get lost for a few pages, find yourself, wander down the wrong path again, find yourself, and so forth. A reading experience not unlike monkey mind. If you're looking for a primer, this is not your best choice, though there are moments where Epstein offers some clear advice on meditation practice.

Apparently this book inspired Dan Harris (ABC's morning program, once upon a time... no idea where he's working now) to write 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works, which I'm moving into now. Much lighter fare, as TV news is easier to figure out than therapy, white noise machines, and telling guys with beards how something makes you feel.

[Dana · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was not what I was expecting it to be. Dan Harris, of Good Morning America, said this book literally changed his life. While I didn't find it life changing in any way, nor what I was looking for - a book about how to quiet the mind in this crazy world we are living in and live with less stress - it was a good book about incorporating mindfulness into psychotherapy...if one is interested in that. :)

There are far better books out there on mindfulness and meditation, in my opinion.

[Lorilin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good grief. This was the book I needed to read. If nothing else, it's given me a little bit of peace with the whole meditation process--this is the first book that has mentioned how difficult it can be to finally face all the mental chatter. I've been meditating daily for about a month and a half, and in some ways I feel better...but let's just say that taming my mind (and dealing with the emotions that have surfaced) has proven to be difficult, yikes.

But I really love the main message of this book which is to just feel what you feel. Don't analyze and don't attach meaning. The goal is to accept the feelings when they come and then watch them move on through. You don't have to be afraid, since "emotions, no matter how powerful, are not overwhelming if given room to breathe."

I don't know, the book is just comforting, plain and simple. Epstein has such a straightforward, relatable, and nonjudgmental attitude. I really enjoyed reading this one.

[Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

“If we are not our thoughts, then what are we?”

Dr. Epstein explores the productiveness of coming to terms with ourselves and our defenses/pain through psychotherapy and/or through Buddhist meditation practice.

He goes into the ways both practices complement each other and how being stuck in one method can lead to a breakthrough in the other. He also mentions several types of meditation – from sitting still and staring at a blank wall to sexual meditations, indicating that orgasms [in respectful relationships] are both liberating, spiritual and one of the least respected ways we have of letting go of our egos and the incessant thoughts that can plague our observation of ourselves.

By reading this book, I now realize that my problem with “The Secret” is that it speaks of the tip of the iceberg and its end result. In other words, thinking good thoughts will therefore bring good results. I whole-heartedly agree with this, but what’s missing in this thought or theory as it was presented is that it lacks the crucial middle part of cultivating self-awareness. Self-cultivation is what brings into account why we think such negative thoughts in the first place-thoughts that block our access to creativity and growth. For most people, “The Secret” is a good start, but there’s a lot we don’t pay attention to in our everyday lives. Epstein presents a few ways to pay attention.

“Going to Pieces” goes a step further than thought processes and speaks of the benefit of quieting or stilling the mind, as is often done when meditating, going to sleep, or in having orgasms. All are activities where thinking too much can impede our enjoyment so we have to become vulnerable to the process and “let go.”

I enjoyed reading Epstein’s co-creative East-West ideas so much that I almost ran out of post-its. I ended up cutting my regular post-its into 1/3rds and 1/4ths just so they would last me longer and I wouldn’t have to run out to the store.

Hopefully, my copy wasn’t too outdated from his more recent edition. I learned a lot about Tibetan Buddhism that I never knew even though I dabbled in it for a few years. I predominantly studied Chinese Zen so a lot of the content was new for me.

I don’t know how to rate this yet. I have another of his books ready to be read. I’ll hold off for a while so that I can absorb this book a little more.

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was PROFOUNDLY insightful to me. It is a case-by-case look at how a Buddhist perspective can aid in psychological healing. It's been a while, but I did read it twice. I'd have to look at my notes in the margins to give a better, more in depth review of this book. However, I can offer some clue by telling you what I got most out of this book and what I will ultimately take from it. Dr. Epstein did a marvelous job of putting Buddhist principles and concepts in context, making the religion far less abstract, by citing specific situations where specific principles were able to change a person's attitude. For example, the first time I read this book I was experiencing something of a depression, which a person always fights against because depression is "bad". Dr. Epstein helped to illustrate how Buddhist teachings can aid us in the ebb and flow of our emotions by realizing that we don't need to judge feelings that way; we should merely let them flow through us and take whatever positivity and learning we are able from all experiences. The Buddhist emptiness concept, which was once so elusive and abstract for me, was illustrated brilliantly in this book. Emptiness and letting go of the ego allow experiences to pass through our lives unjudged, and thus we learn rather than fight and fear.

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

My favorite part of this book came before page 1. In the introduction, Dr. Epstein cites a Buddhist story of a university professor who goes to a Zen master eager to learn. The master offers him tea and then pours the tea into the cup until it overflows, and when the professor complains, the Zen master continues to pour and explains, "A mind that is already full cannot take in anything new."

The snippits of Zen tradition, Buddhist koans, and other pieces of Eastern philosophy that make their way into this slim volume stand on their own and sparked a desire in me to learn more about Buddhism, but the attempts to integrate his meditative practice with his psychological practice often verged on trite, like he wanted his patients' stories to be as significant as the parables of monks on mountaintops. And when they weren't (how could they be?) he padded them with unnecessary interpretation that, for the most part, felt condescending to the reader. I felt like an eighth grade English teacher saddled with grading 50 two-page essays on "What Religion Means to Me," complete with its requisite Real World Examples and all.

Snarky comments aside, I can't wholly dismiss a book that makes me want to learn more about something. So in accord with Epstein's teachings I'd suggest you read it, and then let it go.

[Mariana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good concepts. I'm no longer that impressed by books on Buddhism written by well-off,white, abled-bodied, males.

[Dan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this after reading Dan Harris' "10% Happier" and while I do think there is a lot of good stuff in Mark Epstein's book, reading it right after Harris's may have been overkill. For one, "10% Happier" is written in a much more accessible style. Epstein's book is very much a psychology book and a Buddhist book, and if you don't have a good grounding in both, you may get a little lost or lose interest. Plus, a lot of the same ideas are hit upon, but Mark describes them a little more abstractly. A little more practical advice would have been nice, but the book is what it is, and overall I did enjoy it.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

"There is a difference between accumulating knowledge and discovering wisdom... Wisdom emerges in the space around words, as much as from language itself."

3.5 stars for Epstein's hybrid psychotherapy/Buddhist meditation guide. I appreciated many of the anecdotes and the stories of work with different patients, though I found some of the topics and stories straying from the original thesis of the book. It's a book particularly suited for beginners or those wanting to return to fundamentals of meditation practice.

Relating to the title itself and a story that Epstein shares near the end of the book, I had to smile and laugh as something so similar to what he describes happened to me just last week. In a blissful (and what I felt like was a very present state!) I took my car into the shop. I handed the attendant my keys, signed for the rental car to use for the day. Of course, once I drove home to start preparing for work, I realized that I had inadvertently given him my house key as well. This sort of situation has been known to send me into a tizzy of anger and [possibly] tears... but, taking a breath, laughing at myself and my "present mind", and simply realizing what should happen next served me a lot better than reactionary emotions. In an eerily similar situation (except he looked himself out of his car), Epstein came to the same realization - things will sometimes "go to pieces", but YOU don't have to "fall apart" in the process. For some, this comes so naturally... and for others, it takes practice and patience.

[Donna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I struggled through this book. I read a book a while back where someone was a Buddhist and he talked about meditation. So I picked this up thinking I could learn something. But the author clearly has a vocabulary far different from mine. It was hard to follow along.

If you are familiar with Buddhism (and are an MD) and have the vocab down, then this book might mean something to you and you might be able to extract some useful information. I, unfortunately, lacked the key to unlock this book.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

* *

Although small in size, Epstein's book presents quite a powerful synthesis of Buddhism and psychotherapy. Amazingly, he brings clarity to the paradoxical concepts of: feeling whole by accepting emptiness; finding happiness by letting go; feeling more at peace by tolerating uncertainty; and being able to go to pieces in order to avoid falling apart. I've already read this book twice, and I have no doubt that each successive read will uncover more gems hidden inside. The writing is superb, the presentation is compelling and lucid, and the way Epstein is able to distill and integrate key concepts of Buddhism and psychotherapy is beyond impressive. Epstein concludes the book by reflecting on how his being able to incorporate the Buddhist principles into his life has "allowed my awareness to be stronger than my neurosis" (p. 181). May we all achieve such a state. :)

[Nik Maack · Rating 3 out of 5]

Something is wrong with this book. While there are the occasional insights, the author comes across as too worshipful of others & not respectful of himself. There are odd moments where he defers to the wisdom of others at times when it's not at all necessary.

The book is very dry, cerebral, detached. That seems to be something Buddhists strive for and it makes me want to punch them.

"I don't have feelings, I merely observe them. They don't control me."

Don't feel this! POW!

Something about this observing detachment is very depressing. Not to mention false. Almost Vulcan.

Epstein definitely lives in his head. The book reveals some of his struggles, but there's never a sense that he explores his real problems.

An interesting book, but I wouldn't recommend it to others.

[MizzSandie · Rating 2 out of 5]

One of the (few) books I gave up on. I just wasn't connecting with it. In spite of it connecting therapy and Buddhism, two very interesting and fascinating subjects. Maybe it was because I just didn't feel like it brought me any new insights, because it didn't move me, emotionally or mentally. And because I have a stack of other books waiting for me, so I chose not to waste any more time, but to just move on.

[aryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

pXXI: He wanted him to tune into the empty space of his mind rather than identify only with its contents.

p5: I had come looking for an experience but left with only an explanation.

p6: I did not have to make that disturbing feeling of emptiness disappear. I did not have to run away from my emptiness, or cure it, or eradicate it. I had only to see what was actually there. In fact, far from being “empty,” I found that emptiness was a rather “full” feeling. I discovered that emptiness was the canvas, or background, of my being.

p9: emptiness stopped overtaking her only when she stopped taking it personally.

p12: “Show them this pattern in their lives, how they ruin that which they most need.”

p15: In our zeal to eliminate the ghosts of our childhood, to nourish the empty places of emotional insufficiency, and to achieve that pinnacle of psychological development that the British psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott called “feeling real,” we were treating feelings of emptiness as something that needed to be fixed and cured and therefore losing the ground upon which we rest. Our aversion to emptiness is such that we have become expert at explaining it away, distancing ourselves from it, or assigning blame for its existence on the past or on the faults of others. We contaminate it with our personal histories and expect that it will disappear when we have resolved our personal problems.

p16: […] it becomes all too easy to pathologies a feeling that in Buddhism serves as a starting place for self-exploration. […] emptiness can never be eliminated, although the experience of it can be transformed.

p51: There is an expression in horseback riding circles that one is supposed to ride with “soft eyes,” letting the world go by without focusing on any one thing too specifically.

p56: If we feel empty, taught the Buddha, we must not let that emptiness paralyze us. If we are reaching for intimacy, we must let ourself get out of the way. If we want peace, we must first learn how to quiet our own minds. If we want release, we must learn how to cease our own craving.

p59–60: “If I had only put a fraction of the time spent worrying into my work, I would have gotten so much done in my life!” she exclaimed in our first session after the retreat.
“What was all that obsessing defending against? I wondered.
“Engagement,” she said quickly.
“And why should engagement be frightening?” I puzzled.
“Disappointment in the actuality of the experience,” she answered, after only a brief hesitation.

p62: […] they were unconsciously guarding themselves against engagement with something that might disappoint them.

p62: Either we get depressed when confronted with impermanence, suggested Freud, or we devalue what we see and push it away. Just as Freud described these two possible reactions, so did the Buddha. He called them attachment and aversion, although Freud’s terms of “aching despondency” and “rebellion again the facts” would have done just as well.
Only by cultivating a mind that does neither, taught the Buddha, can transience become enlightening. This is, in fact, the heart of the Buddha’s teaching: that is it possible to cultivate a mind that neither clings nor rejects, and that in so doing we can alter the way in which we experience both time and our selves.

p65: When we take loved objects into our egos with the hope or expectation of having them forever, we are deluding ourselves and postponing and inevitable grief. The solution is not to deny attachment but to become less controlling in how we love.

p72: Our minds are running on without us, keeping us at a distance from that which we love, or from love itself. We justifiably complain of feeling unreal because we are busy keeping ourselves at arm’s length from the biggest reality of all—the transience of which we are a part.

p73: People look to their lovers for a feeling of connection much as they look to their spiritual pursuits for meaning in their lives. The reverberations of a mutual attraction are parallel in some ways to the discovery of the power of meditation. Both involve a momentary surrender to something greater than one’s usual self.

p87: In Buddhism, we must surrender the ego so that we can feel our connection to the universe.

p93: The Dalai Lama: The antidote to hatred in the heart, the source of violence, is tolerance. Tolerance is an important virtue of bodhisattvas (enlightening heroes and heroines)—it enables you to refrain from reacting angrily to the harm inflicted on you by others. You could call this practice “inner disarmament,” in that a well-developed tolerance makes you free from the compulsion to counterattack. For the same reason, we also call tolerance the “best armor,” since it protects you from being conquered by hatred itself.

p102: There can be no wholeness without an integration of feelings.

p106: First and foremost comes mindfulness of the body, in which the direct physical sensations of breathings and bodily experience are made that objects of meditation.

p111: The most basic fear experienced by people coming to see me for therapy is of being overwhelmed by the force of their own emotions if they relax the grip of their egos.

p112: If we can establish a rapport with the emotional experience that takes place primarily in our bodies, we do not need to think so much. […] Thinking is quite useful when there is something to ponder. […]
Thinking quiets down in meditation because the excessive mental activity is no longer necessary once these connections are made. When emotional states are experienced in their entirety, rather than as fleeting shadows in the recesses of the mind, thinking is not quite so important. In tracing thoughts back to their roots, back to the original feeling states, we get out of our heads and return to our senses.

p113: The function of the mind, implied Winnicott, is not thinking. It is tolerance.

p116: Uncovering difficult feelings does not make them go away but does enable us to practice tolerance and understanding with the entirety of our being. […] it is not just the mother that has to be released from perfection. It is everything.

**p119: In building a path through the self to the far shore of awareness, we have to carefully pick our way through our own wilderness. If we can put our minds into a place of surrender, we will have an easier time feeling the contours of the land. We do not have to break our way through as much as we have to find our way around the major obstacles. We do not have to cure every neurosis, we just have to learn how not to be caught by them.**

p123: We do not get lots of realizations in our lives as much as we get the same ones over and over.

p126–127: Delusion is the mind’s tendency to seek premature closure about something. It is the quality of mind that imposes a definition on things and then mistakes the definition for the actual experience. Delusion would have me believe that I was my anxiety and that I was forever isolated as a result. Motivated by fear and insecurity, delusion creates limitation by imposing boundaries. In an attempt to find safety, a mind of delusion succeeds only in walling itself off.
[…]
In the world of psychotherapy this is called defense. I was trying to protect myself from anxiety by distancing myself from it.

p129: In Tibetan Buddhism, and especially the Tibetan medical system, “wind” is used as a metaphor for mind because both are in constant motion. Anyone either what we would call an emotional illness is said to have a “wind” disorder.

p130: We do not have to be afraid of entering unfamiliar territory once we have learned how to meet experience with the gentleness of our own minds. […] we must learn to respond rather than react.

p135: Buddhism teaches us that we are not so much isolated individuals as we are overlapping environments.

p140: The ego starts to reveal its innate permeability. I am no longer so sure where I start and where you leave off.

p143: With enough practice in meditation we learn how to let disturbances come and go, turning them from obstacles into more grist for the mill. […] When we learn to let emotions like anger rise and fall on their own, instead of struggling to get rid of them, we can deepen our practice and enhance our capacities for relationship and passionate engagement.

p144: The ability to not be unnerved by such powerful emotions seems to be related to the capacity to be alone.

p153: There is no way to experience desire, however, without yielding some amount of control.

p158: […] it made him too insecure to adore someone who could be so disappointing.

p176: In coping with the world, we come to identify only with our compensatory selves and our reactive minds. We build up our selves out of our defenses but then come to be imprisoned by them. This leaves us feeling dissatisfied, irritable, and cut off. In our misguided attempts to become more self-assured, we tend to build cup our defenses even more, rather than disentangle ourselves from them.

p177: Putting down our burdens does not mean forsaking the conventional world in which our compensatory selves and thinking minds are necessary, but it means being in that world with the consciousness of one who is not deceived by appearances.

**p178: everything had changed but nothing was altered.**

[Mark Schlatter · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a reflection on how Buddhism and traditional psychotherapy conflict in some ways, but compliment each other as well. Epstein is not writing a self-help book, although there is much in the work that is edifying. Instead, he is weaving together strands of meditation and therapy to address issues of wholeness and emptiness. As a result, the work is somewhat dense --- although Epstein is very good at using stories to make his points, there's a lot of psychiatric theory and Buddhist history to work through. I think it might take me a few reads (if I was inclined) to absorb it all.

What worked best for me was Epstein's contrast between Western psychotherapy and Buddhism. In a traditional talk therapy setting, you might expect a diagnosis and then work on moving from a disintegrated self to an integrated self --- it's a Western model of find the problem and fix it. But Epstein argues that the unintegrated self may be important --- that who we are when we are lost (either in joy or sorrow) may be crucial. It's the Buddhist emphasis on acceptance of emptiness transformed to a psychological setting. I also found his explanation of mindfulness extremely well done; Epstein clearly showed how the "Four Foundations" (mindfulness of body, feelings, thoughts, and mind) build on each other.

If you are interested in the topics raised and willing to do a bit of heavy reading, I think this is worth a look. Finally, an interesting connection: one of Epstein's influences, the psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott, is the analyst profiled in sections of Alison Bechdel's Are You My Mother?.

[Yassir Islam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first read this book when it came out, and just finished rereading it 15 years later. It is still an insightful and relevant book today as it was then. This is not a practitioners guide to Buddhism, nor is it an introduction. Epstein grapples with the concept of emptiness as examined through the lens of western contemporary psychotherapy and Buddhism. What follows is his attempt to inform the more limited concept of emptiness in the western tradition with its more expansive and freeing interpretation from the eastern tradition. The self, he explains, is not something to be shored up to keep emptiness at bay. In fact, embracing emptiness in the Buddhist sense, paradoxically, is the path to liberation and knowing of true self.This books draws heavily from the discourse of western psychotherapy, and will probably be best appreciated by those looking for a more intellectual approach to the subject. More advanced readers or practitioners of Buddhism, also stand to benefit enormously from Epstein's enquiry into emptiness. He also uses examples from his own life to illustrate the points he is making. This may at time seem like an annoying scrutiny of the minutiae of one's one life, but it is only by doing so that we can begin to see that Buddhism is not about grand concepts, but about full awareness and attention, moment by moment, to our own lives. The trick is to get the analytical mind out of the way. What Epstein does is to bring his considerable analytical prowess to derive teachings from his personal and work experience and share them with us in a cogent, engaging manner.

[Kamakana · Rating 4 out of 5]

if you like this review, i now have website: www.michaelkamakana.com

221112: this is an interesting combination of psychology and philosophy. if you accept certain axioms in psychotherapy and equally in buddhism this is bracing, heartening, encouraging. rather more 'case histories demonstrating ideas' if more skeptical. not much argument, description, assertion of buddhist thought, best to know some already...

[Renate Eveline · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok-ish.
I was looking for a good perspective on buddhist psychology, but didn't find much insight here.
Concerning the Buddhist part, Epstein just covers the basics as so many books do. Regarding the psychological part, a broader perspecive would have been nive, Epstein leans too much on Winnicot for my liking. It became harder and harder to finish this book, which looked so promising at first.

[Shannon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Difficult to read. Maybe better suited for a psychology professional. I found myself glazing over, skimming. Technical references to classic psychology that is lost on me. At times reads like a personal journal. Needs some cutthroat editing to make it palatable for the general interest reader.

[Kevin Orth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love, love, love this author! I am totally enamored with his marrying emotional health from a psychiatric perspective with Buddhist principles. Now I have to read everything he has written. Highly recommend.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book because Dan Harris had recommended it. Dan Harris wrote a much better book! I was pretty bored during this and did not find it helpful.

[Jason · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this book because of "10% Happier." I don't think I got enough out of it to care, and I certainly didn't pay enough attention to be able to write a proper review. Maybe next time...

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be frank it felt kind of like a mental massage for the bourgeoisie

[Chanti · Rating 4 out of 5]

mark baby you tickle my brain

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the third book of Epstein's that I read but the second written.

It's a good followup to the first one and basically goes in on the topic of the self/the ego.

Main points

(1) We're always striving
Especially in American culture, there is a feeling that you should always be striving for self-improvement, to accomplish something, to be more efficient, more productive, more, more and more. Epstein argues that this mentality can have a lot of negative effects, essentially magnifying our neuroses and our obsession with ourselves as we put so much pressure on ourselves to do better, be better, achieve more, etc.

(2) Letting Go
He talks about how hard it is to let go of trying to control everything. We feel that if we stop our vigilance even for an instant everything will completely fall apart. Not surprisingly, this attitude can lead to a lot of problems and developing the capacity to let go and realizing that the world doesn't fall apart can be very beneficial.

(3) Doing vs Being
In the West we focus so much on Doing at the expense of just Being. We should try to find a balance and accept that we can't control everything.

Comment: It's definitely not a new thought, but Epstein explains it well in the context of Buddhism and Psychotherapy.

Additional Points
(1) Sex
It's in this book that I noticed how frequently Epstein uses sex as metaphor to explain different concepts. Not in a bad way but definitely more than other therapy books I've read. Perhaps being influenced by Freud partially explains that.

(2) Humble and Imperfect
One thing I particularly like is how in all his books, Epstein tries hard to demystify meditation, enlightenment and "Buddha-hood". I like that he is self-deprecating and confesses his own foibles, that even as a very experienced meditator he still struggles with the same things that beginners do.
I think this is very encouraging for average people as it doesn't give them/us unrealistic expectations.

[Howard Mansfield · Rating 3 out of 5]

Going to Pieces is very much in the self-help mode. Epstein mixes case histories from his psychiatry practice, his own stories, psychotherapy theories and Buddhist texts. His other books are more fluid and go deeper. But this is still an insightful guide to bringing Buddhists practices to bear on your daily life.

[Angel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had a bigger understanding of some of the psychology terms and people he mentions in the book so I could get more out of it. Regardless of some small episodes of language that I didn't know what to do with, I still enjoyed the book and had much to be learned and appreciated. I'll have to read it again.

[Benoit Marinoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have really been leaning toward spiritual content or related to meditation the last little bit but I am still very much so someone who is logical and realistic and often time the books you read about spirituality or meditation is either complete bullshit based on pseudo science or make absolutely no sense if you are not a complete hippy.

Now I love that this book was not that. Mixing the perspective of Epstein as not only a meditator but also a health professional since he is a therapist, I was quite happy with the content of the book.

So if you are interested in meditation but find often boring or crazy the content about it, I recommend this book.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is something preachy about it. I like self-help but I just wanted him to stop talking.