The Charge - by Brendon Burchard
Top 3 Takeaways
1. your identity (character) is the ultimate determiner of your success in life, so determine who you want to be ("to be" goals) and determine what actions you can take that would be congruent with that identity. If you keep that up for a long enough time, you will have consciously created who you want to be: your best self living your best life!
2. when making changes in your life, or when you're afraid to do something/make a change, instead of focusing on what you're going to lose, focus on what you're going to gain, whether emotionally or materially. Also, focus on how you can make the process/journey more enjoyable, and consciously design and focus on creating the best possible outcome
3. it's almost 2019... so when you want to make a change in your life, use the insanely vast network of resources like books, online courses, seminars, etc that you have available to research the best possible outcome of what you want to change, the best possible strategy or process, and consciously design your best life in advance
Would I recommend you read this? If you're interested in personal development and are willing to write out the answers to some thought provoking and positive change inspiring questions and take actions based on them, you should read this book (and his book High Performance Habits).
If you're not willing to do the journaling work or take the actions, you probably wont get much out of it. It's more of a book for designing a better life, and that takes thoughtful planning and action.
Notes/takeways:
living a more energetic life with more positive emotions - that's the goal of this book: more positive emotional charge and vibrancy
a consciously designed existence is a pre requisitive for the truly "charged life"
"death twitches my ear, 'live!' he says, 'for I am coming.' "
your identity, who you think you are, who you want to be, everything you associate with yourself, is among the key factors to if you achieve what you want in life ... so set some "to be" goals and take the actions that kind of person would take - it is only by action that we become who we want to be
you alone are fully responsible for your life. "God" has nothing to do with it, nothing outside of yourself is in control of your willful actions or ever will be or can be (maybe. I don't know, but it seems so in one sense)
your life only changes when you choose a new identity to act in accordance with
charity and contribution are also pre requisites for a truly "charged life"
7 characteristics of fully charged people
1. they are open and observant in the moment
2. they are future oriented
3. they are challenge seekers
4. they are deeply interested in and genuinely want to connect with others
5. they are self reliant/independent
6. they are creatively driven
7. they are meaning makers
which of those, if you embodied it, would have the greatest positive impact on your life?
the 10 human drives
5 "baseline" drives
1. control
2. competence
3. congruence
4. caring
5. connection
5 "forward" drives
1. change
2. challenge
3. creative expression
4. contribution
5. consciousness
The Drive For Control
The 3 activators
1. control your outlook and character - that means: set those "to be" goals and take actions consistent with that character/identity, and seek the positive lesson in all circumstances
2. control for new - that means consciously do new and novel things that are out of your normal routine
3. control workflow - that means get as much autonomy over your work (and subsequently your well being!) as you possibly can
your outlook is the greatest differentiator in how you feel
3 book recommendations in this regard: 1) man's search for meaning, and 2) learned optimism , 3) the alchemist
6 simple ways to "control for new"
1. vacation every 90 days, 1-5 days, goal = mental distance from work
2. do a restaurant/dining tour in your city
3. go to local shows, events, and sports games
4. make a bucket list - "X things to do before you die" and start checking them off
5. make new friends/expand your peer circle
6. develop a new skill and start practicing/applying it
The Drive For Competence
The 3 activators
1. assess and direct your desire to learn - this means - create a learning and implementation plan for your interests/goals
2. set a real challenge, plan for success, and get a coach - define the measurables involved in any project or desire, set goals based on those measurables, and review your progress at least weekly , if you have someone else to help you in this regard, all the better
3. integrate successes into your identity - invest 60-90 seconds a day and journal: top 3 successes I had today , review the entries every week
most steady, measurable change in people comes from reflection, and reflection is best done on paper
The Drive For Congruence
3 activators
1. set new standards for yourself - set those "to be" goals and take actions consistent with that identity/character
2. set your mood meter - pay attention to, preferably by writing it out/journaling, your moods each day, and determine why you felt/feel that way
3. keep your word and follow through on your responsibilities - #1 is self explanatory, and #2 means to ruthlessly prioritize your to do/actions list so that you fulfill your most important obligations
The Drive For Caring
3 activators
1. care for yourself - better self care is the foundation for all personal development
2. be more vulnerable and allow for others to take care of you - this means: be open about the challenges you are facing in life and ask other people for help/insight/perspective
3. be more present, interested in, and attentive to others - for the most important people in your life, make a point to know what they're interested in and what's important to them
6 basic self care recommendations
1. schedule at least 7 hours of sleep a night
2. eat smaller portions
3. eat at least a portion or 2 of green vegetables per day
4. exercise at least 3 times a week
5. meditate 2x a day, 20 mins each time, or find some other way to relax your body and focus your mind or relax your mind (in a healthy way!)
6. drink enough water - stay hydrated
in regards to self care, if you become observant of your feelings and why you feel them on a regular basis, you will soon become master of your emotions and experience by far more positive emotions than negative ones, and when the negatives ones do come, they are fleeting
The Drive For Connection
3 activators
1. define and design your ideal relationships - for each category of people, friends, family, lover, coworkers, determine "what defines a happy and deeply connection relationship with xyz-people-category?" or something like that, and then determine what actions you can take to bring that relationship status to fruition, and then take those actions
2. practice positive projection - consciously determine "what's the best thing about this person? what good qualities do they have?" and go looking for them
3. find and cultivate "growth friends" - the "challenge" issued is to have at least 10 growth friends in your life
2 book recommendations in this regard are: 1) how to win friends and influence people, 2) the 7 habits of highly effective people
The Drive For Change
3 activators
1. make change about the gains, not the losses - when making a change, never think about what you're going to lose, think about and focus on what you'll gain, material wise or emotional wise and stay focused on that and change will be much easier
2. get clarity, think big, and be bold - when trying to make a change, it's about to be 2019, so do some research, find out who has succeeded big in the change you want to make and learn from them, find out the best possible outcome for the change you want and start reverse engineering it
3. make real changes (determine your rules) - list of rules below
5 rules for making change stick - once you've decided on something you want to change, apply these 5 rules
1. determine what you want and also what you *don't* want in that same regard
2. do more of xyz, do less of or stop doing abc - determine what you need to start doing, do more of, stop doing, or do less of to make the change successful
3. when xyz happens, do abc - think about some things that could be problematic, or think about some big successes, and determine what you're going to do in advance so that lack of willpower doesn't stop you, you've already decided
4. always choose xyz over abc - this is a little bit like #1, determine your values, materially and emotionally, and make sure you choose your values and priorities over other people's
5. do xyz now and abc later - determine and act in accordance with your true priorities
(there are resources that go along with this book that you can google "charged book resources" and find, there is a worksheet that goes much more into detail into these goal setting rules)
3 kinds of pain that cause us to fear change
1. expectation of loss - turn this around by focusing on what you'll gain if you change
2. expectation of process pain, of change just being a hard slog through the mud - look for the good in the process, find ways to make it more enjoyable, find role models who have gone through it before
3. expectation of outcome pain, that the ultimate result of changing wont be worth all the effort, or something may happen and you'll end up worse off than you started - determine and focus on "the best possible outcome"
you could journal - 1) top 3 things I'm scared of changing that I know I need to change to live a full life, and 2) determine which of the 3 fears listed above is holding you back most and start eliminating that fear from your life by turning it around
The Drive For Challenge
3 activators
1. choose fulfilling "challenges" - make sure the projects you're working on or the goals you've set for yourself... 1) are exciting enough to hold your attention/focus, 2) stretch your efforts and capabilities, 3) have clearly defined measurables that you're consciously manipulating, 4) have (a) clear completion(s) line that you can celebrate, and 5) have other people involved that can share in your achievement and rewards
2. focus on the journey and don't fear rejection - realize you can only be where you are right now, so focus on the actions you can take now to reach your desired future , and realize also that you've (statistically at least) have probably only been truly, hurtfully rejected less than 7 times in your whole life. ( I can only personally remember 2 or 3), the rest of the fear of rejection is just that: the fear of it, not the actual manifestation of it
3. set monthly 30 day "challenges" - work on a project/goal or two each month that has the qualities of fulfilling challenges
5 qualities of fulfilling challenges
1. they demand singularity of focus
2. they stretch our efforts and capabilities
3. they have the ability to score performance - the measurables are defined and consciously manipulated
4. they allow for a sense of completion during and after the challenge
5. they allow a sharing of experience and achievement with other people - other people are involved in it
The Drive For Creative Expression
3 activators
1. amplify creative expression in all areas of your life - take inventory of all of the areas of your life and ask, "how much of myself do I see in this area? how much creativity am I expressing in this area?", then determine what actions you need to take to express yourself to your heart's content in each area of your life
2. study people and study design - see how others express themselves creatively or not, and see what kinds of design people appreciate, whether it's art, technology, or whatever it may be , use these things as inspiration
3. create more and share more - determine what outputs you have to produce to succeed in your personal and professional life and then produce more of them and share them with those you love!
The Drive For Contribution
3 activators
1. give *of* yourself - remember those "to be" goals? keep setting them and taking congruent actions that your best/ideal self and this will take care of itself. when you are at your best and living your best life, you'll automatically contribute more to others, especially inspiration and positive change
2. give *to* causes you care about - not just any cause will fulfill your personally, find one that makes you feel alive and excited
3. mentor, mentor, mentor - lift others up to where you are
3 factors that make contribution fulfilling
1. the ability to leverage your unique personal strengths
2. the ability to mentor others and help others grow
3. being able to see the direct social impact of your efforts
The Drive For Consciousness
3 activators
1. focus your consciousness - determine, as much as possible in advance, what you're going to focus on
2. transcend consciousness - realize you can only focus on one little bit of the universe at a time, there is something much bigger and vaster than our own individual consciousnesses/attentions
3. live in wonder - our reality, the lives that people live, are truly remarkable. just the fact that we're conscious at this moment and that we can interact with this world, and that we have all of these amazing capabilities is truly a wonder to anyone who pays attention and thinks!
4 things to focus your consciousness on
1. your thoughts
2. your emotions
3. your behavior
4. other people's thoughts, emotions, and behavior
3 things to be conscious of
1. this present moment - that you're alive right now and that you can see and interact with this world
2. coincidence and intuition - that when you seek/look for things, you tend to find them, and that you sometimes have insight into how to find the things you're looking for without having any physical connection to it (which is remarkable!)
3. love - the ultimate feeling is already available to you - you can conceive of it and feel it at will, and you can take actions as if you already felt that way, further conditioning that feeling into yourself