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Cucumber Punk
On the fringe of an acceptable society, Pete’s a cucumber-headed punk whose thoughts of rebellion against the social order frustrate him to no end. Sometimes, there’s a shortage of tomato sauce. But there’s no shortage of fear for the Veg-heads, as they’re hunted down to satisfy the Norms and their consumer culture…
- GenresBizarro Fiction
93 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 22, 2013
125 people want to read
About the author
P.A. Douglas
21 books50 followersP. A. Douglas is the author of several survival horror novels, novellas, and short stories including Watchers, Rancid, and Horror Stories and Terrifying Tales. His work has been praised by several well-known authors and has appeared in Fangoria Magazine. He is also a nationally touring singer-songwriter, under the name: The Cries Of. With more than a dozen music related releases and countless national tours, he has recently decided to give away all of his music for free as digital downloads. Douglas lives in South East Texas. You can communicate with him online at: www.indie-inside.com or follow him at: www.twitter.com/indie_inside
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
November 2, 2013
I wrote this, so of course I like it. #yolo
November 4, 2013
There's easily room for this one on my top ten list for 2013.
Cucumber Punk is the story of Pete, a cucumber who believes in anarchy. Pete exists in a world where vegetables are subject to the Canning Committee and the Picklers' Union. The highlight of his week is stopping in to see Gumshoe who runs a record store where he gets his tunes from. There's an awesome Acid Bath reference in one scene at Gumshoe's vinyl record store, but that's another story.
Cucumber Punk narrates the hardships of the vegetable people (mainly cucumbers and tomatoes, but also eggplants and raddishes) without forcing you to feel something. Instead, it is a detached sort of narration where emotional investment is allowed to happen spontaneously. When the lumberjacks of the Picklers' Union begin going door to door to hunt cucumbers to pickle, you see every act of cruelty that could be visited upon vegetablekind, and you're not forced to feel the atrocity, but it does register with the reader. My descriptions might paint the picture of an MTV animation in your head, but there is no 'tv-morality' here, and it's every vegetable for himself.
I would conclude by saying that I am confident this book will prove the gamechanger not only for P.A. Douglas (this is his first Bizarro work), but also for his business operation, Bizarro Pulp Press. There is a real growth here for Pat as an artist. Sometimes, art and business do not mix. I feel Pat has a strong comprehension of both. I've often said recently that Bizarro is about to blow up in a huge way. I do believe that Bizarro Pulp Press will be a part of that explosion.
Cucumber Punk is the story of Pete, a cucumber who believes in anarchy. Pete exists in a world where vegetables are subject to the Canning Committee and the Picklers' Union. The highlight of his week is stopping in to see Gumshoe who runs a record store where he gets his tunes from. There's an awesome Acid Bath reference in one scene at Gumshoe's vinyl record store, but that's another story.
Cucumber Punk narrates the hardships of the vegetable people (mainly cucumbers and tomatoes, but also eggplants and raddishes) without forcing you to feel something. Instead, it is a detached sort of narration where emotional investment is allowed to happen spontaneously. When the lumberjacks of the Picklers' Union begin going door to door to hunt cucumbers to pickle, you see every act of cruelty that could be visited upon vegetablekind, and you're not forced to feel the atrocity, but it does register with the reader. My descriptions might paint the picture of an MTV animation in your head, but there is no 'tv-morality' here, and it's every vegetable for himself.
I would conclude by saying that I am confident this book will prove the gamechanger not only for P.A. Douglas (this is his first Bizarro work), but also for his business operation, Bizarro Pulp Press. There is a real growth here for Pat as an artist. Sometimes, art and business do not mix. I feel Pat has a strong comprehension of both. I've often said recently that Bizarro is about to blow up in a huge way. I do believe that Bizarro Pulp Press will be a part of that explosion.
November 2, 2013
People have vegetable heads. There's a lumberjack who's pissed at the labor union and he wants pickles, and the best place to get them is from the poor vegetable-headed people, who are the downtrodden. Did I mention there's a lumberjack? Most bizarro has cats and other strange animals that don't make sense, but I'd rather read about a book that's healthy for you, too. Join the cucumber revolution!!!
SPOILER: Contains references to punk-rock.
SPOILER: Contains references to punk-rock.
December 30, 2013
It’s been a year since I first became aware of the Bizarro literary scene. At first glance, it seemed like an impenetrable world of twisted, gleeful horror, often sex-charged and certainly offbeat. As I explored the genre, the definition of “bizarro” seemed somewhat slippery. Bizarro-focused websites seem to avoid concrete parameters for the writing. My modern brain wants to categorize and label everything it sees. Time to give it a break and just read it, man.
Scanning the titles, seemingly impossible protagonists come to mind: Anthropomorphic sloths, washing machines, pigs, and what all. The titles are often iconoclastic, pornographic, and punk rock/gothic/geek. There’s certainly a shock value that comes with the first glance, but does it continue to challenge your personal paradigms upon reading? I’m not completely convinced that it does.
Admittedly, I’m still a newbie when it comes to Bizarro lit, but I am certainly familiar with the term “Mondo-Bizarro,” which informed many of my film viewing choices back in the day. So being a man approaching middle-age, I cannot help but keep Mondo in the back of my mind as I continue to explore this transgressive literary scene.
Cucumber Punk is a rocking read concerning a cucumber-headed gutterpunk. Prior to picking up the book, and as a writer myself, I was mostly curious about how P.A. Douglas would pull off the concept. How does one get into the mind of a cucumber, as such? A punk rock cucumber at that?
I am interested to see how other bizarre writers handle these wriggly concepts, but Douglas carried it through in a very direct and accessible manner. The Cucumber Punk simply has a cucumber head and is reluctantly in love with fellow, tomato-headed gutterpunk. Aside from these physical curiosities, they are essentially human characters playing out their roles in a breezy book that features a fair bit of social commentary.
The book is as punk rock as its hero. There are no highborn literary aspirations in this writing. It’s fun and furious, with three chords and an anthem. Surreal and satirical, a tight read that perhaps lacks a bit of depth, but this isn’t that kind of book. Sometimes it gets a little sloppy, but that’s a part of the fun. There are many fun characters that populate its landscape and if you have spent any time in a punk rock/hardcore/goth scene, you are sure to see someone you recognize.
For years you heard that it’s important to eat your vegetables. Turns out that was the worst advice anyone could have given you.
4/5 Middle Fingers.
Scanning the titles, seemingly impossible protagonists come to mind: Anthropomorphic sloths, washing machines, pigs, and what all. The titles are often iconoclastic, pornographic, and punk rock/gothic/geek. There’s certainly a shock value that comes with the first glance, but does it continue to challenge your personal paradigms upon reading? I’m not completely convinced that it does.
Admittedly, I’m still a newbie when it comes to Bizarro lit, but I am certainly familiar with the term “Mondo-Bizarro,” which informed many of my film viewing choices back in the day. So being a man approaching middle-age, I cannot help but keep Mondo in the back of my mind as I continue to explore this transgressive literary scene.
Cucumber Punk is a rocking read concerning a cucumber-headed gutterpunk. Prior to picking up the book, and as a writer myself, I was mostly curious about how P.A. Douglas would pull off the concept. How does one get into the mind of a cucumber, as such? A punk rock cucumber at that?
I am interested to see how other bizarre writers handle these wriggly concepts, but Douglas carried it through in a very direct and accessible manner. The Cucumber Punk simply has a cucumber head and is reluctantly in love with fellow, tomato-headed gutterpunk. Aside from these physical curiosities, they are essentially human characters playing out their roles in a breezy book that features a fair bit of social commentary.
The book is as punk rock as its hero. There are no highborn literary aspirations in this writing. It’s fun and furious, with three chords and an anthem. Surreal and satirical, a tight read that perhaps lacks a bit of depth, but this isn’t that kind of book. Sometimes it gets a little sloppy, but that’s a part of the fun. There are many fun characters that populate its landscape and if you have spent any time in a punk rock/hardcore/goth scene, you are sure to see someone you recognize.
For years you heard that it’s important to eat your vegetables. Turns out that was the worst advice anyone could have given you.
4/5 Middle Fingers.
November 2, 2013
Vegetables are MURDER!
The cucumber farmers didn’t grow enough cucumbers this year to make pickles for the lumberjacks. And that is B*LLSH*T!!! What are they supposed to snack on after eating their sandwiches?! What if they want a hotdog and there’s NO F*CKING RELISH!!! So if you're a guy walking around with a giant potential snack on your face - the world just got a little more dangerous for you.
This was a good book and an easy read. Or maybe it just seemed like an easy read because I’ve been trying to read Irvine Welsh’s “Filth” for like a month now. (“,” See those Welsh? They’re called quotation marks.) Anyways it made my afternoon and I honestly laughed out loud at least 10 times through the read.
Recommended for vegans.
This book also made me feel nostalgic. A lot of the major aspects of the story are things that you just don’t see that much of anymore. Stuff like record stores, paper mills, giant manly lumberjacks with sweet beards… Wearing a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow and really-really tight jeans. Wranglers, with a big circle outline on the back pocket from the can of chew being pressed tightly against their muscular ass… And they’re all sweaty… … …
The cucumber farmers didn’t grow enough cucumbers this year to make pickles for the lumberjacks. And that is B*LLSH*T!!! What are they supposed to snack on after eating their sandwiches?! What if they want a hotdog and there’s NO F*CKING RELISH!!! So if you're a guy walking around with a giant potential snack on your face - the world just got a little more dangerous for you.
This was a good book and an easy read. Or maybe it just seemed like an easy read because I’ve been trying to read Irvine Welsh’s “Filth” for like a month now. (“,” See those Welsh? They’re called quotation marks.) Anyways it made my afternoon and I honestly laughed out loud at least 10 times through the read.
Recommended for vegans.
This book also made me feel nostalgic. A lot of the major aspects of the story are things that you just don’t see that much of anymore. Stuff like record stores, paper mills, giant manly lumberjacks with sweet beards… Wearing a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow and really-really tight jeans. Wranglers, with a big circle outline on the back pocket from the can of chew being pressed tightly against their muscular ass… And they’re all sweaty… … …
September 23, 2019
Fun, but not really my cup of tea.
November 4, 2013
Cucumber Punk is my idea of a perfect Bizarro story and the writing and overall feel of the story is as punk rock as the characters. Keep it short, fun, and keep the allegory intelligent enough to maintain the serious readers interest.
In Cucumber Punk P.A. Douglas weaves a modern fable about oppressed people born as part produce who are struggling to survive in a world that hates them.
We follow Cucumber Pete and his girlfriend Sandy--a tomato-head, who Pete is reluctant to commit to because mixing cucumbers and tomatoes is frowned upon by his produce-peers ( sound familiar? )--as they try to dodge lumberjacks and butchers who literally want their heads.
The story is a roller coaster of twists and turns, and the narrative moves fast, so fast the worst part is the abruptness of the ending, you'll want to flip it over and read it again.
I hope to see more from P.A. Douglas and this was the first book by Bizarro Pulp Press that I've read, if Cucumber Punk is any indication Bizarro Pulp Press is what's happening in Bizarro fiction.
In Cucumber Punk P.A. Douglas weaves a modern fable about oppressed people born as part produce who are struggling to survive in a world that hates them.
We follow Cucumber Pete and his girlfriend Sandy--a tomato-head, who Pete is reluctant to commit to because mixing cucumbers and tomatoes is frowned upon by his produce-peers ( sound familiar? )--as they try to dodge lumberjacks and butchers who literally want their heads.
The story is a roller coaster of twists and turns, and the narrative moves fast, so fast the worst part is the abruptness of the ending, you'll want to flip it over and read it again.
I hope to see more from P.A. Douglas and this was the first book by Bizarro Pulp Press that I've read, if Cucumber Punk is any indication Bizarro Pulp Press is what's happening in Bizarro fiction.
February 17, 2016
I swear, P.A. Douglas has to be one of my favorite writers out there. I have yet to read a book of his I don't like. Captain K and the Bearded Man Boy and Killer Koala Bears from another Dimension have to be two of my favorites. I think what I love about Douglas so much is that he blends the lines between horror, bizarro, and sci-fi seamlessly. His writing is rife with super odd things going on, but it works. Usually, I have a 'Hold up...what just happened?' moment when reading a crazy bizarro book. But never with Douglas. Maybe that's cause he seems to associate more with horror; I'm really not sure. Another thing I love about the guy is that most of his body of work is available as audiobooks, which is always a plus for me. And seeing as how this one has been sitting on my shelf for almost 3 years, I figured it was high time I finally read it. And I'm so glad I did!
So Cucumber Punk is a rather short and quick read about Veg-Heads, which are human/vegetable hybrids pushed to the fringes of society due to the fact that 'norms' don't seem to understand them. The live in the post-apocalyptic Atlanta of the future, where norms routinely turn a blind eye to the hapless murders of veg-heads, all so they can have a slice of onion on their burger or some tomato on their salad. It is very briefly mentioned in passing that after P.E.T.A. had maintained control of the government, the vegetable crisis quickly grew. Combined with a crippling drought, and a thoroughly hungry population, and, well, ya get the horrible murders of real people who just so happen to have vegetables sprouting from their noggins. When the local lumberjacks decide they MUST have a pickle with their lunch everyday, stuff goes from bad to worse for Cucumber Punk Pete, our protagonist. He'd already lost friends to the norms' knives, and while he's worried about his tomato-headed friend (or maybe more?) Sandy, he quickly realizes the lumberjacks are after him! He and Sandy have no choice but to scramble for their lives. Where they end up...well, I can't really tell you that, but suffice it to say, it's a perfect ending to a nice and neat little story.
It had been a while since I had read (or listened) to a P.A. Douglas book, and I'm very happy I 're-acquainted' myself with him. I still have 'The Bikings' on my shelf, as well as a few more horror-ish books that I need to pick up. And if you haven't read any of Douglas' work yet, well, I suggest you do, and while you can obviously pick what ya want, I recommend this one and the other two I mentioned above. I wasn't disappointed; hopefully you won't be either! But one thing is certain: everyone needs a little P.A. Douglas in their lives!
So Cucumber Punk is a rather short and quick read about Veg-Heads, which are human/vegetable hybrids pushed to the fringes of society due to the fact that 'norms' don't seem to understand them. The live in the post-apocalyptic Atlanta of the future, where norms routinely turn a blind eye to the hapless murders of veg-heads, all so they can have a slice of onion on their burger or some tomato on their salad. It is very briefly mentioned in passing that after P.E.T.A. had maintained control of the government, the vegetable crisis quickly grew. Combined with a crippling drought, and a thoroughly hungry population, and, well, ya get the horrible murders of real people who just so happen to have vegetables sprouting from their noggins. When the local lumberjacks decide they MUST have a pickle with their lunch everyday, stuff goes from bad to worse for Cucumber Punk Pete, our protagonist. He'd already lost friends to the norms' knives, and while he's worried about his tomato-headed friend (or maybe more?) Sandy, he quickly realizes the lumberjacks are after him! He and Sandy have no choice but to scramble for their lives. Where they end up...well, I can't really tell you that, but suffice it to say, it's a perfect ending to a nice and neat little story.
It had been a while since I had read (or listened) to a P.A. Douglas book, and I'm very happy I 're-acquainted' myself with him. I still have 'The Bikings' on my shelf, as well as a few more horror-ish books that I need to pick up. And if you haven't read any of Douglas' work yet, well, I suggest you do, and while you can obviously pick what ya want, I recommend this one and the other two I mentioned above. I wasn't disappointed; hopefully you won't be either! But one thing is certain: everyone needs a little P.A. Douglas in their lives!
October 7, 2014
This book made me want to eat some nice barbecue. Ribs, bacon, etc. It was THAT good.
Pete is a cucumber punk: He is part of a group of people that was born with vegetables on their heads, the so called Veg-Heads. He is worried about his friend Egan, a tomato head that had gone missing. He heard that is a hunt for tomato heads. But, as he get back to his home, he fails to see one more piece of news: That lumberjacks from the Pickler's Union are out hunting cucumber heads to make pickles.
This was a brutal book, with an easy concept, but taken to the extreme. Pete is full of ideas and dreams of a revolution. A true anarchist, he dreams of a world where Veg-Heads and "Norms" (normal people) can live together. The whole dystopian future concept was played as a background to the sheer brutality perpetrated by the lumberjacks. A strong, heavy book with a fitting ending. Very good, recommended!
Pete is a cucumber punk: He is part of a group of people that was born with vegetables on their heads, the so called Veg-Heads. He is worried about his friend Egan, a tomato head that had gone missing. He heard that is a hunt for tomato heads. But, as he get back to his home, he fails to see one more piece of news: That lumberjacks from the Pickler's Union are out hunting cucumber heads to make pickles.
This was a brutal book, with an easy concept, but taken to the extreme. Pete is full of ideas and dreams of a revolution. A true anarchist, he dreams of a world where Veg-Heads and "Norms" (normal people) can live together. The whole dystopian future concept was played as a background to the sheer brutality perpetrated by the lumberjacks. A strong, heavy book with a fitting ending. Very good, recommended!
November 8, 2013
Pat Douglas doesn't disappoint in his first full-on Bizarro novella debut. Simply put, it's a book about a gutter punk with a cucumber for a head among other "Veg-heads" which are cast out of the normal society. When the Lumberjacks run out of pickles for their lunch, blood lust shortly follows. The "norms" go on to view this with pure apathy.
GREED! BLOOD! EXPLOITATION! ANARCHY! PICKLES!
The social commentary seems to run deep, whether intentional or not, but Douglas keeps it light and fun. The book is short and sweet and kept me laughing throughout. Bravo, Pat, Bravo!
I wouldn't mind seeing a sequel to this someday.
Highly Recommended!
GREED! BLOOD! EXPLOITATION! ANARCHY! PICKLES!
The social commentary seems to run deep, whether intentional or not, but Douglas keeps it light and fun. The book is short and sweet and kept me laughing throughout. Bravo, Pat, Bravo!
I wouldn't mind seeing a sequel to this someday.
Highly Recommended!
November 6, 2013
Douglas is off his rocker but even with the totally weird topic of the book, I stayed interested the entire time because he's a fabulous writer, period.
May 15, 2020
It’s a tale as old as time; vegetable headed anarchist punks are headhunted by lumberjacks for their delicious noggins in a dystopian exploitation satire. P. A., if you’re still out there, I’d love to get another beer with you.
March 30, 2025
Can someone please tell me where I can purchase this?
January 6, 2014
I dove into this not knowing what to expect (other than a killer title) and literally found myself pacing back and forth, e-reader in hand, thumbing page after page. This is good--really good. The tension pulls throughout and there's no fat--it's been trimmed, chopped, hatcheted to maximum story impact. I love stories that dive in and keep going, not looking back, just taking us there, making us be there in this moment on this day with these characters and their struggle. This is exactly what P.A. Douglas does and he does it without missing a beat. Also, there's a beautiful under layer to this story, ideas to chew on, digest re: subcultures, discrimination, violence, and hope. If you're looking for something easy to get into and very, very rewarding, consider checking out some CUCUMBER PUNK.
August 23, 2014
Veggie wars are no longer at the table!
Veggie heads are human too (sorta) but they are looked down upon, spit on, etc. So they hide on the opposite end of town. The lumberjacks want pickles for their jars and they are coming for the cucumber heads.
Pat Douglas takes his survival horror to another level. This time a survival surreal world where humans and vegetable living people exist. If you are a vegetarian. Know this veggies bleed too and its not just juice.
Audio book or paperback edition. I'm sure you will enjoy this exquisite, tasteful, survival bizarro horror. Horrifying Delicious!
Veggie heads are human too (sorta) but they are looked down upon, spit on, etc. So they hide on the opposite end of town. The lumberjacks want pickles for their jars and they are coming for the cucumber heads.
Pat Douglas takes his survival horror to another level. This time a survival surreal world where humans and vegetable living people exist. If you are a vegetarian. Know this veggies bleed too and its not just juice.
Audio book or paperback edition. I'm sure you will enjoy this exquisite, tasteful, survival bizarro horror. Horrifying Delicious!
August 3, 2016
I've read some of Mr. Douglas' horror work, and I loved it. So seeing that he had a more Bizarro-style book come out, I was very interested. Turns out, it's pretty dang good! Kind of Veggie Tales meets Animal Farm and The Warriors, but with more "London's Burning." It's a story of misfits (who happen to have vegetable heads) trying to find a better way, lumberjacks making sure they don't, and a little bit of a West Side Story romance in the middle. My only complaint is that I wanted it to be longer. But you know what? It was a fun ride while it lasted, so I'm not going to complain. Definitely worth a read for fans of punk rock, the food chain, and a better tomorrow.
July 2, 2014
I was given a copy of this to read a while ago but completely forgot about it! Sorry about that.
This book is about 'veg heads'(people with vegetable heads/hair) trying to co-exist with 'norms'(people without vegetable heads)
You know it's not really going to work out too well for the veggies but the end leaves you with the promise of things getting better for them.
It has the usual love plot and gross bloody violence we all love. I read this really quickly. Easy to read and interesting.
This book is about 'veg heads'(people with vegetable heads/hair) trying to co-exist with 'norms'(people without vegetable heads)
You know it's not really going to work out too well for the veggies but the end leaves you with the promise of things getting better for them.
It has the usual love plot and gross bloody violence we all love. I read this really quickly. Easy to read and interesting.
August 10, 2016
Inventive and engaging. Check out my full review on lurid-lit.com
May 30, 2018
It’s a world of industrial pollution, bigotry, media spin and the lower classes being ground into the dirt by violent and relentless consumerism. It’s Earth. Except some people are born with vegetables for heads. And that’s pretty cool.
The author of Cucumber Punk succeeds in creating a flawed but relatable protagonist that you’ll have no problem cheering on against the impossible odds. But perhaps more commendably, the villains are both horrible and stylish. You’ll hate these brutish lumberjacks for the cruel acts they commit upon the innocent characters, but their antics are hilarious and cartoonish enough to keep you grinning (when they’re not butchering helpless vegetables, that is).
The physical descriptions of the people and scenery are all nicely done, and the characters are fleshed out with each one having enough minor quirks to keep them interesting. It all helps pull you into this strange world where a cucumber-headed man can face moral dilemmas about his attraction to a tomato girl (“It wasn't that he was racist in any way. It was more of a texture thing.") And unlike a lot of weird fiction that markets itself as comedy, this book doesn’t rest on its laurels of simply being bizarre, but takes that extra step to be clever. This one scene involving a gardening magazine... Well, I won’t give too much away about that.
My only big criticism is that the ending feels rushed. The epilogue was a bit expositional, as if the writer needed to wrap up plot points to meet a deadline. The book could’ve used another chapter between the last chapter and epilogue in order to flesh out the details of the resolution, although the ending still left me pumped for a sequel – even if we may never get one.
To wrap things up: if you like pulp, the characters in this book literally have it spewing from the wounds in their heads. Recommended reading.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews