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337 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 3, 2012
Despite the lack of mementos and photos from those early years, I can reach down into a barrel, it seems, and bring up scraps of yesterdays once tossed aside like gum wrappers. The raw feelings, like shock or sharp pain, or fear suddenly grabbing your heart, are closest to the top, easiest to reach. They return to me unbidden at times.

Love was not an active verb in my family or in my life. There were few demonstrations, few hugs and embraces, and few declarations among us about love. I was a full-grown adult who had been married, a father, and divorced before I consciously put “I love you” into conversations with my mother, before I made sure I got a hug from her and gave her a big hug each time we met. I can’t remember ever hearing “I love you” pass between the generations of Scotts that preceded me. Or recall with any clarity hearing those words from them to me or being inspired to say those words to them. Yet I can’t imagine there being more warmth and laughter shared with genuine empathy and respect and consideration and . . . but not affection. Our codes and slang
All I can say is that if the truth is important to you, understand that most things of value have to be worked for, sought out, thought about, and brought about after effort worthy of the great value it will add to your life. It will come at a great price. The time and sweat invested in that pursuit may cost you in hours and days you cannot use in other directions. It may cost you relationships that you would give almost anything else to develop, with someone who cannot stand to come in second to anything. The passion with which you commit yourself to something intangible may well turn away the very support that could sustain you.
sociology and every other inexact approximate science of odds and oddly negative prognostication be damned. those sciences of vague, uneven basis and potential seemed to have been discovered to generalize and generally discourage humankind from being the kind of humans they could really be.