The Third Law

by Tamra Ryan

According to Newton's third law of motion, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The Third Law shows us that even as women work to change their lives there are forces pushing back on that change, societal obstacles that must be overcome and internal demons that must be squelched. It explores what is required for chronically unemployed and impoverished women to create new lives for themselves. Most of all, the book argues for a more compassionate view of recovering addicts, convicted felons and victims of domestic abuse. Sometimes, believing in an other person's potential isa ll it takes for lasting change.

Genres: Nonfiction

273 pages, Paperback

First published October 15, 2013

Reviews

[Arielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good tips for life and dealing with people of different backgrounds. It is great to read about the paths other people take, walk a mile in their shoes. The way the company works is a great model. I have been disabled elementary school with migraines and anxiety/depression mix and I hope there are understanding groups like this to help me if I get better enough to be reliable. This reestablishes me hope that I can be a working member of society more than just having an Etsy shop or something.

[Laura Brandenburg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tamra has helped me learn so much about how our laws and systems make it difficult for those facing critical issues - poverty, lack of family support, abuse, and addiction - to make and sustain a positive change. I'm leaving Tamra's book more sympathetic and more informed. Tamra tells beautiful and heart-breaking stories which can't help but change your perspective. Thank you for pouring your soul into the Bean Project - a big part of the solution - and this book.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excited to speak on a panel with this author in Denver at the Social Enterprise Alliance Conference!

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very educational about the obstacles these women endure trying to change their lives

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the The Third Law over just two days, intensely drawn into Tamra Ryan's painful and inspiring portraits of women living at the margins of our society. Ryan is the CEO of a non-profit in Denver called Women's Bean Project that provides transitional employment to chronically un-
and under-employed women. Most of the participants in their program have served prison time for felonies (often drug-related), battle mental illness and addiction, and come from poverty-stricken, abusive backgrounds.

Using her personal journey as CEO and the stories of many women who have participated in the program, Ryan explores the intersecting causes and effects of poverty for women: addiction, abuse, and mental illness intersecting with harsh sentencing laws, dehumanizing prison experiences, and marginalizing of felons, with generational cycles of poverty and addiction as the frame and background.

I appreciated Ryan's openness about her own privilege and misguided assumptions, both to the readers and to the people she encounters in her work. Through admitting her complete lack of knowledge of their community and social norms, she is able to form meaningful relationships with women very different from herself. Her deep empathy and willingness to not know come through strongly, and consequently her analyses hold more weight. She provides a balanced perspective that highlights the complexities of these women's lives: there are many forces in our society that work against them rebuilding a life without addiction or crime, but at the same time, each woman is ultimately responsible for taking personal responsibility for her life. One of the most painful chapters was about women who have been clean (from drugs) who then relapse. Although more support structures in our society may help, it is still in the end the individual's choice whether to seek that help and support. We can only do so much.

The book left me angry, inspired, and wanting to act in some way. My anger is primarily at the criminal justice system, which is so clearly designed for punishing rather than helping and rehabilitating. In my view, prison has gone way off track from the idea of removing from society people who pose a danger. Most women in prison are a danger only to themselves, and need help, not punishment. On the other hand, organizations like Women's Bean Projects and the stories of success are an inspiration -- there are people working in our communities successfully to make a difference in some women's lives.

As a white, privileged, upper middle class woman, reading about the marginalized people in our society often leaves me wondering how I can help. It is inspiring to read about how Ryan has managed to help and form relationships with these women despite her background, but often I think the people that help the most in a personal way are those who have successfully pulled themselves out of such a background, because they can relate much more closely. Ryan does helpfully provide some ways to get involved in her epilogue, including things like working to change sentencing laws.

One key point is that these women have no self-confidence or sense of self-efficacy, and that often the way others treat them reinforces those damaging views of themselves. So, one of my biggest personal takeaways from The Third Law is that two of the most important things I can do in any day-to-day interaction with another human being is: (1) Suspend my judgments of people based on their behavior and looks; and (2) Treat everyone with basic human dignity and respect.

[Jennifer Hunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have supported the Women's Bean Project for a few years. I can't remember where I first heard about it but I've been donating to them and attending their annual holiday open house for the past few years. This book really opened my eyes as to the importance of this not-for-profit. I had no idea the struggles that these women go through until I read the book. It's disheartening that the system is working against them when they are trying to do everything to get back on the right foot. Hopefully people will continue to advocate for these women and the system can be changed. I know it's a long, hard road, but it has to start somewhere.

[Tami Shaver · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a lot of books about poverty this year. This one was an easier, more engaging read than most of them. I liked how honest the author was about her own biases and judgment of the population she works with and how those changed over time with personal relationships and getting to know the women. I work a lot with families in poverty and volunteers who come from anything but poverty. The author's original biases and then transformation is something I see from many of our volunteers who are self-reflective. I will most likely recommend this book to many of them.

[Joni · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the amazing story of the Women's Bean Project, penned by the CEO, Tamra Ryan. The Women's Bean Project helps women who have been incarcerated get back on their feet by learning job skills and improve the way they relate to other people. It's a hard job with many setbacks, yet it's also very rewarding. Tamra Ryan learned a lot herself by working with these women, and I learned a lot about the systems holding these women back. The last chapter lists many ways we can help break the cycle of broken families and incarceration. This is a great read for those who have a heart to help others.