Impolite Conversations: On Race, Politics, Sex, Money, and Religion

by Cora Daniels, John L. Jackson Jr.

When was the last time you said everything on your mind without holding back? In this no-holds-barred discussion of America’s top hot-button issues, a journalist and a cultural anthropologist express opinions that are widely held in private—but rarely heard in public.

Everyone edits what they say. It’s a part of growing up. But what if we applied tell-it-like-it-is honesty to grown-up issues? In Impolite Conversations , two respected thinkers and writers openly discuss five “third-rail” topics—from multi-racial identities to celebrity worship to hyper-masculinity among black boys—and open the stage for honest discussions about important and timely concerns.

Organized around five subjects—Race, Politics, Sex, Money, Religion—the dialogue between Cora Daniels and John L. Jackson Jr. may surprise, provoke, affirm, or challenge you. In alternating essays, the writers use reporting, interviews, facts, and figures to back up their arguments, always staying firmly rooted in the real world. Sometimes they agree, sometimes they don’t, but they always reach their conclusions with respect for the different backgrounds they come from and the reasons they disagree.

Whether you oppose or sympathize with these two impassioned voices, you’ll end up knowing more than you did before and appreciating the candid, savvy, and often humorous ways in which they each take a stand.

Genres: Nonfiction, Politics

320 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2014

Reviews

[Hajar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I agree with the Professor that had heart to heart with Cora. Cora *does* appear to write for blacks only. Though the book did give me deep insights of the struggles of the blacks in America, I feel like her focus is too narrow. But I respect that she's fully aware of it, and unapologetic.

100% recommended. I admire the friendship and the deep respect between the authors.

[Andre(Read-A-Lot) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, the first thing that leaps out is the perfect title. Often books have titles that don't really do justice to the contents. But this title is perfect and that plus having read Ms. Daniels previous effort is what drew me to this current piece. I share in the premise that these five topics are often difficult to talk about, even amongst "friends" and almost impossible to do with strangers unless you strive hard to be polite. And the very subject matter, Race, Politics, etc. makes it extremely difficult to be polite, especially, if one is passionate.

The book is broken down into 5 areas (see subtitle) and the co-authors each write essays on these five different subjects. The essays are not presented in a debate format, though arguably that may have made for a slightly better book, but in that format you run the risk of the reader just choosing sides. So, I'm not quibbling with the ultimate end product, just thinking out loud. As they say in the introduction about the style choice, "...we feel it more mirrors a natural conversation. The kind of conversation that meanders, stops, starts, gets you angry, sad, and makes you laugh."

That goal was pretty much accomplished, some essays definitely provoke humor, a few of John's going over the top. Some will bring about an urge to join the conversation and so that is really what makes this book work. If you find yourself nodding in agreement or shaking your head in disagreement, that's a definite win for the authors. At the very least, it will make you examine your own friendships, and examine the strength or relative weakness of them. Can you openly talk to your friends about these five taboo topics? Can you do so passionately and remain great friends? Do you even know how certain people in your circle feel about the 5 taboos? A book like this can be a blueprint to help jumpstart those conversations.

So John and Cora have similar thoughts on some of these taboos, but the way in which they are presented gives you a look from different angles. There are some essays I'm sure readers will find controversial, like Cora's "Let's pray for sexually active daughters" but both authors do a good job of laying out the why of their opinions. I think the Race section was the strongest and it's no surprise that it contains the most essays. Some interesting and debatable thoughts come out of the Race area. This collection of essays would make for a great bookclub discussion, just make sure everyone checks their sensitivities at the door. 3.5 stars

[Mysh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the format of this book. Many times with topics like these we go through standard definitions and then correlate it with statistics and "evidence" and factual history which takes much of the emotion and grey area out of the equation.

Sometimes there are feelings and observations that go overlooked because they don't necessarily have evidence backing them up or they can't be neatly organized into a certain category. Jackson's segment on jazz is a great example of this. He talks about how jazz is respectability politics in music and paraded as an African-American accomplishment and is also tied in with the "sophistication" of middle-class Black people, which is something I've thought about before in passing but not something we ever get the chance to talk about.

There are many, many, small thoughts like these that are rarely brought up because they don't seem important to the big picture. If it's not about work/school discrimination, slurs, or hate crimes, it doesn't seem to register to white people, especially, so it's wonderful when Black people get the chance to broadcast these smaller conversations we are always having in our heads, silently without real outlet or chance to speak of mostly in part because we know we'll be dismissed (usually as "crazy" or like we wake up every day with only one goal, to make something more ~racial~ than it needs to be. When actually white people are literally blind to these things because they're not Black, of course they wouldn't notice.)

That's why I recommend this book to non-Black people, not because it's perfect, but because it shows how many layers can go into racism Black people face and the intersections between race, ethnicity, skin color, gender, class, etc. AND THEN how that shows up in race, politics, sex, money, and religion. It all matters.

These authors are proof of how the narrative of Black people isn't so simple. Jackson is a dark-skinned Black man with a mother from Barbuda. Daniel's is a light-skinned Black woman with a white Jewish mother. They both grew up relating to the Black experience of being Black people in Brooklyn, but naturally the differences inside that Blackness like skin shade, gender, etc. makes them have their own "Black experience" inside the "Black experience".

And that's the real bottom line of this book to me. Not actually impolite conversations, but about the infinite layers of Blackness.

[Jerry Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not sure why I picked this up but glad I did so. Sometimes there is a great serendipity in reading a book about which you have no preconceived ideas and this was certainly the case here. Written by two authors as a series of essays, the book is relatively easy to read but the essays themselves are grouped into subject areas so the reader gets a sense of differing opinions around a central theme every few chapters.

These essays are thought provoking, some more than others. I was unaware that both authors were black, and therefore this has a lot to do with the subject of many essays and the perspective is important. I think the individual essays are set out to be thought provoking and a little controversial; "impolite" as appearing in the title and they succeed in this aim but not outrageously so.

The works on race were perhaps the most interesting to me and they do challenge stereotypical and lazy thinking which I fear I may fall into at times and which attitudes it is important to become aware of. It put s me in mind to read other examples of both authors work to understand how they will develop their thoughts more completely. Each article is relatively short and well written and this is a book I both enjoyed and made me think which is really what a good book is about. I am not typically a huge fan of a collection of essays, but this one works well.

[Cyndie Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

As promised, will get your mental juices flowing. There were some big topics here they were definitely not afraid to shy away from, especially concerning matters of race, religion, and the intersection between the two which given the recent events in Charleston were even more thought provoking.

I did anticipate a wider division of opinion between the two authors, more competing points of view, but I think this was more realistic. In real conversations we don't just have diametrically opposed points of view, our points of view are just different, but that can still be controversial. These authors know each other personally and what they talked about was affected by what they knew of each other's families. Overall I thought it reflected some of the ways that we should talk about impolite things in our own lives.

I did not expect this book to be so heavily focused on race. I was glad in some ways that it was because there were definitely things I learned about that I had never heard of (paper bag test?) and got me seeing things from someone else's point of view. That being said, I'd like to see perhaps another group write another book like this being as real and personal about other controversial issues - perhaps talking even more about religion, sex, money, etc.

[Kinyorda Sliwiak · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not exactly earth shattering. Maybe in their circles these are impolite conversations but nothing new for the average under 40 person. Some good points in a few of the essays but the authors struggled to focus. Each essay is a random collection of thoughts that are poorly organized and loosely related to the topic at hand.

[Kathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

kept me interested but not what I expected.