Before I Fall

by Joelle Lynne, Courtney W. Dixon

Who’s going to catch me when I fall?

Evan

Everything has been taken from me. My home, my family, and the love of my life. Raising a child on my own isn’t how I envisioned my young life full of hopes and dreams. Now, my youth is gone, too. I had been drowning with no way out until him. The one man I didn’t expect to hold my head above water. Simon had married my aunt to hide his secrets, but he’s not afraid of who he is any longer, and is now living a single life. He’s a life force, and my savior when I was all alone in the dark. But he’s become more than just my former uncle, and I want him.

Simon

It was only supposed to be for two weeks, to help Evan out as he grieved while trying to care for a newborn. His aunt couldn’t get away, so I stepped in. But he needed more of my time. And during those couple of weeks, I remembered what it was like to have a family and to be part of something important. So, I uprooted my life in New York and moved back to our small town to help Evan and the baby. But everything has become so much more than that. I shouldn’t want him. Not only is he so much younger, but he used to be my nephew. Our families hate us enough, and I just can’t do that to Evan.

⭐ Slow Burn
⭐ Former Uncle and Nephew
⭐ Single Dad
⭐ Small Town
⭐ Bi-awakening
⭐ Opposites Attract
⭐ Age Gap
⭐ Hurt/Comfort

CW: Heavy religious themes, religious trauma, death of a partner, struggling single father, forbidden love, alcohol consumption, grief, sex & language.

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Friends To Lovers, Romance, Grief, Amazon, Found Family

374 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 15, 2023

About the author

Joelle Lynne is a M/M Romance author who is a total nerd at heart. She loves her romance sweet but on the spicy side.

Reviews

[~Nicole~ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, this was ridiculous. A guy with a kid he says he adores stubbornly insisting he remained in a homophobic town (and putting him in danger)after his gf dies where he’s constantly harassed by the Child protection services and 3 cartoonishly mean hysterical and homophobic women (of course ); the women being his ex mother-in-law, Simon’s mother and his own mother. Apparently that town was a bigotry cauldron . And it’s not like he had a career there or something, so he could easily have gone home with Simon to New York because Simon DID have a career there.He instead made Simon come back to live in a homophobic town where he had sworn he wouldn’t return to and to suffer all the harassment together. And let’s not mention the villains. They were so badly written 🤣🤣 The christian ex mother-in-law who, despite that not being an usual practice in her religion, she refused her daughter’s blood transfusion and killed her. And the doctors just accepted it. In this day and age. Yeah, no, irl usually a judge is called by the doctors and the young girl gets the blood. As I said , ridiculous. Oh, and the guys were soooo boring together (Simon was better off alone) , the writing meh and the overall book is mediocre at best.
2 ⭐️ because I loved Simon. He was the only good thing in the book.

[Renae Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Evan and Simon have such a beautiful romance. This is a fantastic slow-burn romance that allows you to easily see the connection between these two guys while enjoying the slow pace of their romance that is so endearing and heartfelt.

Evan's situation is so heartbreaking that having Simon as his constant support was wonderful to see. I loved how patient and kind Simon is towards Evan's unfathomable situation that really does tug at your heartstrings.

Overall such a beautiful emotional read that has so many moving moments. I am so happy for Evan and Simon. They deserve all the happiness in the world and I love their HEA.

***I review a complimentary copy of this story.***

[Dani (Daniiireads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

- age gap
- former uncle x nephew
- single dad
- opposites attract
- hurt x comfort

3.5 ⭐, rounded up

What should have been the happiest day of his life, turns into the worst day when Evan's long time girlfriend hemorrhages during childbirth. Shunned by both his parents and his late girlfriends, Evan is unsure how he will balance being a single father, working full time, and his grief, but help comes in the most unlikely of people--his aunt's former husband, Simon.

After spending several weeks trying to get Evan on his feet, Simon returns back to NYC and to his tattoo shop, but cannot get Evan or baby Remy out of his head. He decides to sell his shop and move back to the small town that ostracized him for being gay and covering it up by marrying his best friend, in order to help Evan full time. & as the two grow closer, some not so familial feelings spark between the two.

Evan's story is beyond heartbreaking, but he was so resilient and such an amazing father. I loved that Simon stepped up, even though he didn't have to, and was always so patient and kind as Evan struggled to navigate his grief, parenthood, and his feelings. He was such an unflinching constant and safe place for Evan, and must be protected at all costs!

[caffeinated.crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're looking for a book that is chock full of small town gossip/drama, religious trauma, grief, former uncle/nephew (unrelated), age gap, single dad, and gay (maybe demi?) awakenings... then look no further.

This book had a LOT going on, and it's a pretty sad story to boot. BUT Simon is the king of this story, hands down.

Evan loses his long-time girlfriend during childbirth [the rest of that is redacted y'all] and finds himself completely alone with a new baby. Here comes Simon, the former uncle [that plotline is redacted too], and he legit saves the day.

Their road to romance feels like exactly what should happen, but y'all - getting there isn't easy due to all the [redacted] plot points. It feels a bit slow burn, but it fits them, for sure.

Things I loved:
Evan's open-mindedness when -------
The granny at the grocery store.
SIMON!
The baby, Remy!
Maggie, the neighbor and [!!!!!!!!]
Evan/Simon and their communication skills.

People I hope fall off a cliff:
People who use religion as a weapon/reason for hatred, especially the queer community.

If you've got religious trauma, this may not be the book for you. It's what made this one a little uncomfortable for me to read, but I really enjoyed this story! I'm glad these authors were able to come together and tell it!

BEFORE I FALL is releasing Wednesday, so keep your eyes out for it!

[Moni · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such an emotional, beautiful story about finding love and family amongst grief and the ugliness of the world. Evan is a sweetheart, Simon is definitely boyfriend goals and they cannot be more perfect for each other.
Even though they aren’t blood-related, 21-year-old Evan is beyond relieved when he finally can rely on 36-year-old tattoo artist Simon for family support. Evan, a single father at such a young age, is barely keeping it together after losing his long-time girlfriend. Simon offers to help for a couple of weeks … which turns into months as he is unable to stay away. Their relationship slowly and beautifully progressed and it was refreshing to see that they actually communicated like mature adults. Ev has a pureness to him and Simon was amazing at taking care of both him and the baby. They had to overcome so many obstacles starting with the disapproval of their families. Ev took his newfound sexuality in strides and they certainly had great chemistry in bed. Joelle and Courtney gave both MCs unique voices and I enjoyed getting to know what was in their heart. The angst in this story comes externally, not from their relationship and it was relentless. It was obvious that Evan would have not been able to go through all of that without the support of Si and some amazing side characters who functioned as a family for both men. I really loved this book, it was the perfect age gap, hurt/comfort read, and should not be missed!
I was fortunate to have received a copy of this book from the authors, and this is my honest review.

[True Loveislovereview · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a story with a dose of hurt and even more with hurtful people,

After Evan lost his girlfriend, he had to take care of his newborn son on his own.
Simon, the ex of Evan’s aunt, steps in to help him. And gosh does he help.
After a few weeks, Simon decides to move back to the little town Evan and Remy live in.
Evan is happy with this decision. In no time Evan and little Remy move in with Simon.
Slowly they start a relationship.

So far so good you’d think, not at all. Did I mention there are religious people around who don’t earn the label ‘family’?

At some point I was so done with all the crazy people.
The saying “There’s no hate like christian” applies here, ugh!

Thank goodness there are kind and supportive people too!!

Still, the parts where Simon and Evan explore their love were pretty awesome.
They stood for what they were for each other, no hiding thank you very much!
The decision they made at the end, applause!!
Overall an entertainingly written story, I enjoyed reading.

[Nicole Scarborough · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man oh man. I needed to change my kindle while reading and I couldn't wait for it to fully charge because this was so good. I LOVED Evan and Simon so much. I read a lot of MM and this has by far been my favorite. The chemistry was great and it was well written

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was beautifully written and I really enjoyed this collaboration with these two authors. ❤️

[Duffette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just adore Simon

This was such an emotional ride. Evan is drowning with no help in sight... Until the crowd parts & he sees someone from his past; former uncle Simon (by marriage).

Simon is perfect, I wouldn't change a thing about him. When he comes to check on his former nephew after tragedy strikes, their connection is immediate. He's the most selfless man ever, dropping everything & uprooting his life to be there to catch Evan & give him time to heal & find his way to the other side of his grief.

This is a slow burn story. There's a lot of emotions to unpack before healing can start. The pacing is perfect for the plot of the story & once these guys realize they have non familial feelings towards each other, it becomes beautiful to watch it all unfold. I love how bold Evan is. Once he knows what he wants, he has no problem speaking up to Simon. They communicate perfectly in their relationship & really want it to succeed.

This story was so beautiful, I didn't want it to end. I'll definitely be picking up anything else these authors decide to write together.

[m]

DNF @ 28%

I wasn’t really connecting with the story or the characters but the final nail for me was when Simon sold his thriving business in a gay friendly area to move to the most religious and judgmental small town when Evan had no support there, a shitty apartment, and was working at a job he hated… like why? In what world does that make sense?

[Colleen (colleenreads40) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before I Fall is a standalone, M/M slow burn romance collaboration by Joelle Lynne and Courtney W. Dixon. Please review the content warnings and take care of yourself while reading. Here’s what you can expect from Evan and Simon:

- First person, dual point of view
- Guaranteed happily ever after
- Former uncle and nephew (no blood relation)
- Single dad
- Opposites attract
- Age gap (10+ years)
- Hurt/comfort and found family
- A healthy dose of angst (external to the couple)

What should be the happiest time in Evan’s life as a new father has quickly turned into a nightmare. He finds himself a single father to a newborn baby boy, and he’s been shunned by both families involved. He’s not really sure how he’s going to do it all. When Simon, the man that married Evan’s aunt to hide his deepest secrets, comes to support him and his son for two weeks, they quickly become close. Simons realizes that Evan needs more of his time, and he makes the move from the bustling city of New York to their small Missouri town. Suddenly, this is more than family helping family. Both men are feeling things, but their situation is anything but simple.

As if wishes could come true or that Knights in shining armor truly existed, my eyes snagged on the man tucked into the corner, wearing torn black jeans and a black, worn vintage T-shirt. His strong, tattoo-covered arms folded over his chest as he met my eyes. His blond hair was longer than I remembered and tucked behind his ears. Like me, he was completely out of place.

This was such a beautiful story, and a fantastic collaboration between Joelle Lynne and Courtney W. Dixon. Their combination brought a great balance of sweet, romantic moments and frustrating angst. This book was definitely different (in a good way) from a lot of other stories I read, especially with the former uncle and nephew dynamic. In their small Missouri town, Simon married Evan’s aunt Ellie to hide the secret that he was gay. When they divorced years later, his family turned his back on him. The authors used a series of flashbacks in this book (mostly in the first half) to fill us in on the backstory and the emotions the characters were feeling, and I thought this added to the story and was important for its exposition.

Evan’s one of those characters you’d do anything to protect. Him and his son Remy are alone in this world after the shocking and preventable death of Remy’s mother. Those first few chapters were tough as we learn the events that lead to Evan and Remy being alone in this world. When Simon backs him up at the funeral, you can’t help but cheer for two of them. I think Simon will definitely become a top-tier book boyfriend for a lot of readers. His devotion to Evan and Remy was lovely, and of course we knew that after two weeks he wasn’t going to be able to say goodbye to the two of them. This book is another demonstration that we have the ability to choose our families, especially when the ones related to us by blood fail us. I thought this was a beautiful story, and I was happy with the conclusion after Evan fought back against attempts to take custody of Remy away from him. Some bonus elements I enjoyed in this story were their neighbor Maggie, and some of Evan’s sweet employees at the grocery store he managed. They balanced out some of the heavier elements in the story, and I was definitely smiling when Maggie got her own little happily ever after!

I received an ARC of this book from the authors and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Christina Sturgill · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 / 5 Stars
2 / 5 Steam

This book is a rollercoaster for your emotions. It's beautiful and heartbreaking all at once.
You're going to get age-gap, single dad, all the hurt/comfort you can stand, slow burn, angst. They are former uncle and nephew with no blood relation.

Evan loses so much and struggles to be a single dad while grieving, working full time, and having very little in the way of support. That's where Simon comes in. He is Evan's aunt's former husband.
Simon helps Evan through a lot and when he feels he has gotten back on his feet, Simon goes back to his tattoo shop in another state. It's not long before he realizes that he no longer feels like that is his home and goes back.

I don't want to give away any spoilers on this one. It is one of those books that will break your heart and put it back together again. The emotions are raw and real throughout the entire book. Both men have gone through so much at different times in their lives. It's a slow burn that makes it easy to feel the love growing between them and the bond they form.
I fell in love with both characters, but I have to say that Simon is something truly special. He was so steadfast and supportive and patient.

A fantastic read, an emotional ride, and a beautiful love story.

[Shelly Doebler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed most of this book until the ending. I think there was a lot of potential to give the characters a lot of depth but the authors just didn’t take the time to fledge out the characters. I was also pretty annoyed at the ending when instead of realistically dealing with the conflict and actually getting the law involved, he just confronts the villain and everything is now sorted. But then they also get the law involved with a no-contact order?!? It just seemed very strange to have him confront Remi’s mom but then also use legal channels which is what he should’ve just done in the first place.

[10111111111 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: 4.75 stars (9.5/10)
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️
Tropes: religious hatred, single father, age gap, small town closed minded, hurt/comfort, tattoo artist
Review:
This was a really sad but also sweet story. Evan's entire world was his girlfriend, and as they welcomed Remy into the world, she departed it suddenly - and it might have been prevented if her deeply religious parents actually believed that healthcare was not taking control from God, but a means we have developed from God to help others and allowed her to be treated for blood loss. This decisions dominoes into Evan's shunning from family and community, his struggles to make things work as a single parent, and the way things spiral out of control. Simon used to be married to Evan's aunt in a marriage of convenience (as he is gay living in a small town that is NOT accepting), and when he hears of what happened, he rushes back to the town for a few weeks to help Evan out, where he promptly falls in love with little Remy, and his feelings towards Evan begin to spiral out of control. He supports both of them, and Evan is so appreciative but also reluctant to burden, and the gentle way their relationship develops is beautiful. Simon eventually moves back, selling his tattoo shop and starts a new one back in his old home state. I think the way these two come together, their communication skills and care for each other, is so beautiful, and I just adored watching the little family unit come together. Their neighbour Maggie was another amazing character, and I loved how she was a clumsy flirt and how she moved past it with dignity, and loved on Remy so hard. And Aunt Ellie was a fun character - and the development between her and another character was interesting 👀 all in all, this was a really emotional but beautiful story full of characters who love and characters who hate, and it shows how important family can be, and how destructive it is when family turns their back on you.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Before I Fall is about loss and heartbreak, and finding new beginnings in unexpected places. After the tragic loss of his girlfriend, Evan is left to raise his son alone. Prejudice and hateful gossip is spread around town, leaving him with very little support. In steps Simon, his former uncle-by-marriage. The book is a sweet biawakening story with little angst regarding the MCs relationship or between the MCs.

Overall, Before I Fall just didn't work for me. There was a lot of exposition- particularly in the first few chapters- that told a lot of information instead of showing it. The flashbacks gave us important information but their timing bogged the first chapters down, making them disjointed and frankly, a bit boring. The writing was overwrought at some points and I just couldn't get into the story and experience it. While it worked for the plot line, I don't understand why Evan would be okay with Simon uprooting his entire established life to a small town they both hate living in, when he had almost zero reasons to stay Second, it's a pet peeve of mine when the "bad" characters are cartoonishly villainous and described in physically unflattering ways. For example, the annoying guy from high school is described as “paunchy” and with a “receding hairline” which may be true but it’s a little petty and not something I find enjoyable to read. It reinforces the pretty=good and fat/old/ugly= bad stereotypes and I think we can do better.

I wanted to like the book and the blurb sounded great, but it just wasn't for me. If you like age-gap, biawakening books with babies who are given a zillion and one nicknames, it may be for you.

Rating: 3
Angst: 3.5/5
Steam: 2/5

I received a free copy of this book via Indie Author Creative and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[E.L. Ough · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! I 100% recommend you give it a go!

These two guys were so amazing, together and separate. Simon really was a night in shining armour, not just when Evan needed him, but throughout his life he was good people. But when he thought Even might need him he showed up, and boy did I cry when he was at the funeral 😭 my poor Even. I can’t even imagine the hurt and pain he was going through and then suddenly Simon is there. It’s like the ladies wrote that just to rip my heart out!!!

Even was such an amazing dad he put everything he had into looking after Remy while dealing with hateful people and his partners death. Like give him a break. I just wanted to wrap him in cotton wool and keep him safe.

I loved the growing relationship between Evan and Simon and how they both dealt with the dynamic change. They handled it well and I could feel their love flowing off the page 💙

Beautiful story by two very talented ladies. I can’t wait to see what they both give us next, whether it’s together or separate.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️🌶️.5

💙Slow Burn
💙Former Uncle and Nephew
💙Single Dad
💙Small Town
💙Bi-awakening
💙Opposites Attract
💙Age Gap
💙Hurt/Comfort

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a cute read. It was everything I needed after a little book burnout.

Their chemistry was felt through the pages, i loved the evolution and slow burn of their relationship. Loved maggie and ellie they were the cutest personally wanted to punch mrs.harris myself. Loved everything about it.

Tropes
- single dad
- age gap
- bi awakening
- small town romance

[Dinoh (Akari) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say that, overall, I liked this book. It is full of emotion, Evan's anguish after the loss of his girlfriend, and the fact of now being a single father who has no support, at such a young age, is well described, and once the romance between the dos MCs begins, it's a beautiful thing to read.

However, in some ways, it leaves me somewhat dissatisfied. For example: Both Evan's aunt and Simon, ex uncle and now love interest, say that they always loved and cared about Evan, but in the 8 years since they left the town, they never visited him or it occurred to them to offer him and his girlfriend to move away from a town where they barely managed to survive. And yes, I understand that they left justifiably and were living their lives, but... Another thing is the timeline. Simon comes as soon as Remi dies, stays a few weeks, returns to NY, then Evan talks about him during his stay in NY, telling is only a month since Remi's death, meanwhile Simon begins the process of selling the shop, which takes several weeks... I mean, I try to do the math, but I can't, I think it was more than 1 month since her death, and more than 2 in total until Simon returns from NY. Another thing, I don't understand that Simon has to sell everything to live in a city where he is not well received, and even where Evan has no peace either. I understand Evan's reluctance in wanting to leave the place where he feels closer to the woman he loved, but he also talks about how everything he does he does for his son, so... Why not do it from a beginning what they end up deciding in the end? And lastly, he was deeply "in love" with Remi, which to me, is an idealized love, a first love, her love was the only thing Evan knew, the only support, the only person really cared about him, so I think that's why he idealized his feelings for Remi so much. Otherwise, I don't understand that in a few weeks, or approximately two months, not only he feels, for the first time, attracted to a man (and how refreshing to see that he never questioned whether it was natural or whether it was wrong or not. He simply accepted his attraction) but also he has deep feelings regarding that man. And I think it would have been good to distinguish the difference between these two loves that are so different and so important to him. One of a childhood/adolescence with all the candor of two people who are learning to be adults, and that of two men who have gone through difficult and traumatic situations, where Evan must now face his life as an adult. And another thing that I didn't understand much was Remi's mother's attitude regarding the medical/religious situation. I mean, if my kids are in danger, I wouldn't care at all to save them. But hey, that's me.

Now, having said all that, it was a story that I really enjoyed. I didn't want to highlight the above as something negative, but rather as something that might have made a little more sense. Of course maybe, that way there wouldn't have been a story? After all, there's a reason I'm a reader and not a writer. So as a reader, I can say that, although it may not be a perfect story, it is highly recommended.

I was given an advanced copy and voluntarily wrote a review.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this story was simply adorable. It was heart wrenching, packed with angst, and the absolute definition of hurt comfort. But I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish.

Right from the outset, my heart was with Evan for his heartache over the loss of his girlfriend. While we only got little snippets into their past relationship, it was absolutely clear through context how much he cared about her before she passed, and that he would give everything to be the best father possible to his newborn son.

Despite all the heartache, Evan is incredibly strong. He works full time, takes amazing care of his son, and deals with the constant harassment from his deceased girlfriend’s conservative, and frankly evil, mother. Honestly, Mrs. Harris is one of my most disliked characters that I’ve ever read, and I’m sure she is the poster child for so many bigoted, ignorant people in the world who we can’t help but just hate. Evan dealt with it all, despite being in the throes of grief and new parenthood.

He really struggles to adapt to being a father, because who wouldn’t when you’re twenty-one and now unexpectedly a single parent? But he gives it everything, being the perfect father for Remy. It really made me teary eyed when he rushed his son to the hospital for his ear infection, because you could tell he felt so awful for not acting sooner - though there wasn’t anything he could’ve done. I also thought he was so brave each time he had to enter a hospital setting - as someone who also suffers from hospital related trauma, and struggles to even walk through the door, I could really empathise with what he was going through.

Simon was Evan’s opposite. A big, gruff, openly gay tattoo artist, struggling to be back in the small-minded town he ran away from only seven years prior. But he comes back to take care of Evan, previously his nephew through marriage. On the surface, Simon may appear hard faced and brash, but he’s actually so caring, and watching him become increasingly attached to both Evan and Remy was nothing short of adorable. Simon has his own trauma related experiences with the town, so to come back just for Evan was a huge deal which shouldn’t be underestimated. While Evan is dealing with an evil ex mother in law, Simon is dealing with his mother and other members of the town accusing him of corrupting Evan and Remy because of his “lifestyle”. But, like Evan, he was incredibly brave, and I think he had life experience on his side with a “no cares given” attitude towards those who didn’t understand.

The story is a slow burn, so don’t expect anything too spicy for a little while, but there is a wonderful build up of tension between them, which their previously innocent chemistry only serving as a catalyst for their relationship together. I thought it was wonderful how they truly supported each other, and took every beating from their bullies in their stride. They did everything they could to not let them win, and only moved on when their enemies were conquered.

In all, I really enjoyed Before I Fall - there are some triggers readers should be aware of before reading, and the story is very heavy, but the outcome is so worth the rollercoaster of emotions that it takes to get there.

[Gale MR · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt like the pages were crying along with Evan in the opening scene of the story. His grief, anger, and despair were palpable and all-consuming, a tidal wave that overwhelmed and suffocated him with its heavy presence. He was falling free, with no anchor or safety net to save him, only the featherlight weight of his son's frail body keeping the tattered remnants of his sanity intact. Born and raised in the shackles of a small, conservative, narrow-minded religious community, Evan was suffering the whiplash of not bending and conforming to their norms and ideas of what's acceptable. The story deals with very sensitive topic and touches the delicate line between religious beliefs and religious fanaticism. Where is the said line between the 2 when human life is in danger of being lost? I can’t say more without my musings being spoilerish. But long story short, when a person plays a God, the results are usually devastating. And for Evan and his newborn son - they are life altering and heart shattering. Ostracised and shunned by both families/his parents and the family of his girlfriend/, left alone to deal with the loss of his love and mother of his child, Evan had to learn to live his new reality shockingly fast. What he didn’t expect was someone to catch him while he was falling and not only catch him but to become a solid rock he could rely on. Shunned and ostracised just like him, but for another reason, Simon knew achingly deep, what being alone and different is.
Simon was also Evan's ex uncle/ by marriage, not blood related/ - all grown up, solid 15y older, tattooed, riding a motorcycle, out and proud gay and bringing the wind of change to this backwater town, where Evan was desperately trying to rebuild his life and learn how to be a single widowed father. These men so seamlessly clicked together from the first moment. They had such an amazing chemistry but also character compatibility. After the intense beginning of the story, It was a relief to read how easily they build up a routine around taking caring of Remy and started getting to know each other. There was enough external angst and pressure, to keep me on edge while I was following the development of their relationship but no internal drama. Beneath the profound sadness and grief, after Evan was able to process the trauma that shook the foundations of his life, I was delighted to see a core of steel, calm determination and real maturity. The way he embraced his newfound attraction to Simon and the change of his sexuality, were beautifully written and gently explored. This is an impressive, heart-touching example of well-balanced slow burn romance where the characters had a clear line of open communication - they were in tune with each other every step of the way - listening, talking, thinking, adapting, taking decisions together.

[Lady Macbeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
I'm having troubles rating this story, there are a lot of things I loved but also things that didn't work for me.

What I loved:
- the plot: former uncle/nephew (not blood related) is a new one in MM romance, or at least I haven't read anything with this kind of relationship between the MCs. I liked the fake marriage, Simon ans Ellie's reasons to hide and I also liked the fact that both of them left town.
- Simon: he's an amazing man. He was brave to leave his family behind to take care of himself and remove himself from a toxic environment. And he was even more brave when he decided to come back and support Evan.
- Evan: his anguish and pain after Remi's death and all his insecurities about raising little Remy were very well written by the authors. I found his character very believable.
- Evan's sexuality: I loved that the develpment of his sexual relationship with Simon's was slow and that Simon let Evan setting the pace without pushing him. I especially appreciate their honesty and that there wasn't any miscommunication between them.
- Maggie: she's awesome. There aren't a lot of female friends in MM romance who aren't meddling and pushing, luckily, Maggie isn't one of them.

What I didn't like:
- The timeline: Simon comes back to NY and starts the process to sell his tattoo shop that takes several weeks. But when Evan talks about him when he's still in NY, he says Remi's death occurred just over a month before. I think between the funeral and Simon's return at least two months have passed. Sometimes it seemed that it was all rushed.
- Ellie and Simon not supporting Evan when he and Remi started living together: both of them said that Evan is family, that they care a lot about him, but they didn't visit him once since they left town. They knew their families were giving them hell for living together without being married, but Evan and Remi were basically alone. Same thing when Remi got pregnant. I found not very believable that they never had time to visit them in 8 years.
- Simon selling and buying shops: wasn't it too easy? How much money did he have to uproot his life twice in six months? He also owned a condo in NY, how is it possible if he moved there only eight years before?
- lastly, Remi's mother: she's too much of a villain, letting her own daughter dying, harrassing Evan at work, threatening to take Remy. She was just too much. I found way more believable, in their bigotry, Simon's and Evan's parents.
- Remi's death: I get that Evan was young and overwhelmed by the situation, but what about the doctors? No one thought about turning to a judge to allow medical cures for their patient?

I really loved all the feelings around this story and I think Simon and Evan are a wonderful couple, but all the homophobic part and Remi's death kind of ruined it for me.

[Jordan Conway · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished “Before I Fall” in one sitting because yall, this love story had me utterly addicted. It’s no secret I love Courtney W. Dixon’s work but Joelle Lynne is a new author for me and this collaboration was written so well I couldn’t even tell it came from two authors’ beautiful minds.

“Before I Fall” has everything, and then some, that makes this second chance romance a 5 star read. Our MMC, Evan, is a new father mourning the tragic, sudden death of his son’s mother. His uncle by marriage, Simon, arrives with the intent to help for a few weeks but suddenly becomes attached and doesn’t want to leave. Lynne and Dixon couldn’t have written these two characters more for each other if they tried. It’s a slow burn type of story. Evan is mourning and struggling with new feelings towards Simon. And Simon is finding every reason in the book to stay away from a romantic relationship with Evan. What Lynne and Dixon did so well with both Evan and Simon is really show how love comes when you least expect it and when someone is worth it, you’ll go through hell and high water to keep them.

Yes this story is beautifully written with two amazing MMCs, but this story is also a tough one. It takes place in a small town in Missouri where the line between right and wrong is very thickly drawn. There is hate coming from every direction, including homophobia and age discrimination, but the story is written in a respectful way and not too aggressive — just enough to show that the world is cruel regardless of where you are or who you are. These characters never waver in who they are and accepting of themselves. This is something Dixon has always done and something I’ve been a huge fan of so I was happy to see it weaved throughout this collaborative project.

My heart is aching for Evan, Simon, and Remy but by the end of “Before I Fall” I was crying tears of joy because YALL, the HEA was everything. I can never understand what being with someone others deem “immoral” or “wrong” and I will never get how people can be so confidently hateful, but what Lynne and Dixon did, creating this story with these two incredible men, is show that no matter how much cruelty a person can go through, you CAN have it all and there is always a place for you.

Seriously! This book pulled at my heart strings and it was everything I didn’t know I needed. Now I’m off to read every Joelle Lynne book I can get my hands on 😂 I recommend this book to anyone who just want to fall in love with two characters falling in love in the most trying of times. If you’re wanting a heartwarming story between the most unlikely of people, this is it!

Rating: 5/5⭐️
Spice: 2.5/5🌶️🥵

Tropes:
⭐️ Slow burn
⭐️ Former Uncle/Nephew
⭐️ Single dad
⭐️ Small town
⭐️ Bi-awakening
⭐️ Opposites attract
⭐️ Age gap
⭐️ Hurt/comfort

[A.E. Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

🍁 ARC Review 🍁 Before I Fall 🍁 Joelle Lynne & Courtney W. Dixon 🍁

Wow! Just W-O-W. This book was just EVERYTHING!

I really really loved Evan & Simon’s story. In all its simplicity. Because there’s a universal message here—something which I believe more than anything—that people need people.

I hold great respect for Joelle and Courtney as individual authors so I was expecting something special with Before I Fall. And I was not disappointed.

This book is everything I want from a great story. From the very beginning I was sucked in. The writing just flows so beautifully and I had trouble putting it down at night. I’m delightfully sleep-deprived!

The story itself was heartbreaking yet filled with hope. It was sad and devastating but at the same time unwavering in its positive message: that there are good people in this world who will stand beside you during times of hardship and loss. And that we need to grasp every little bit of happiness that is sent our way!

Evan and Simon were freaking adorable and engaging. Everyone needs a Simon in their life. I mean, holy hell, I fell for him and I fell hard. Such a loyal, steadfast, caring, SEXY man! Lucky Evan.

And Evan. So brave and bold and uncompromising in his love for baby Remy and Simon. Such admirable maturity. Such strength.

I loved that these men fucking communicate instead of just assuming things or acting self-destructive or mean when life gets tough. There’s no self-pity or “life dealt me a bad hand so now I’m gonna act like an asshole.”

Thank you, ladies, for having the courage to write about REAL people with REAL mundane problems, instead of billionaires or entitled, overpriviliged rebels without a cause. It is so wonderfully refreshing to read stories that actually have a message other than “I hate you so let’s fuck and drive off into the sunset in daddy’s BMW.”

I hope that this wonderful book gets all the credit and love it deserves because it’s one of my absolute
favorites this year—and it’s been an awesome year in books.

Do yourself a favor and read Before I Fall. It is absolutely stunning 💙💙💙

*reel is mine, pics are not
*I rcvd an ARC from the authors and this is my honest review

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book !!


Oh my goodness. I fell alright. Fell head over heals for these guys. These two right here were everything I needed to mend my heart back together after a emotional read. I absolutely loved me some Evan and Simon!

This book had the perfect amount of angst and sweetness. We find poor Evan alone and heartbroken after loosing the love of his life. His family and girlfriends family abandoned him and their newborn baby due to religious beliefs. Simon is Evans former uncle, who originally left town after also loosing his family due to the same beliefs years prior. After hearing what Evan is going through he comes back "home" to help him and little Remy. Simon was once married to Evans aunt and best friend to avoid the small town religious beliefs, but left town after a divorce and his family turning his back on him because he was gay and wanted to be his trueself.

This is the perfect slow burn. No instant attraction with this one. Loved the age gap. Simon was the most caring man helping Evan through such a horrible time. Evan really leaned on him. I loved the way he was with baby Remy. When they start to notice an attraction to each they are hesitant, but the sparks really fly with these two. I love how they were big on communicating and talking about their feelings with their new relationship. The risks they could run into, esp in that town they lived in. But they never let those risks or people's hate stop them

My heart broke for Evan. This book wasn't smooth sailing after Simon move back to help him. The small minded people who were too hung up on their own beliefs, old family members and Evans girlfriends family really tried to wreck havoc on them. They had everything under the son thrown at them. I was so happy to see Evan stand up for himself and that sweet baby. And for Simon and their little family. Both men were just alone in the world needing someone else to love them for them, needing that little family circle. I just adored them. The side characters Aunt Elliott and Maggie were priceless. Loved them too. But I really loved me some Remy!!

[KohoutReadsRomance · Rating 5 out of 5]

So intense! Evan is a 21-year-old who just lost his girlfriend of seven years to childbirth. Since they aren't married, medical decisions went to her mother, who decided to leave everything in God's hands instead of giving her daughter medical attention. This lady may be one of my least favorite side characters I've read all year. She blamed Evan for her death for getting her pregnant in the first place. Evan is getting berated at the funeral when his former uncle Simon steps in to get him out of there. Simon moved away years ago after divorcing Evan's aunt. They were best friends and married so he could hide his homosexuality and she could put off settling down and having kids she didn't want. This small town really f'ed everyone up.

Simon ends up selling his tattoo shop in NYC and moving to Missouri to help Evan with his newborn. Evan has only ever been with his late girlfriend, so he's taken by surprise when he starts noticing things about Simon, like his muscles. Not only is Simon Evan's former uncle, but he's also 15 years older and they're living in a town full of homophobic people. Plus, his late girlfriend's mom is pretty much harassing him every chance she gets. Evan and Simon's parents both disowned them, and this woman is still worse than all of them.

These two start off a bit reluctantly thanks to all the obstacles in their way, but thanks to their close connection the romance and intimacy builds quickly. Scenes are steamy and graphic with plenty of bi-awakening wonder for Evan.

There are a few laughs for some comedic relief, but this book is full of heavy emotions and intense situations. You'll likely tear up at some point, especially since it opens right after Evan loses his girlfriend.

The story is so powerful and really captures the stress heaped on Evan and Simon as they try to navigate through so many obstacles.

CW: death during childbirth, homophobia, religious homophobia, harassment, anxiety, grief, child abandonment

[Marni Ortiz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I literally just finished Before I Fall a few hours ago and I’m still sitting here reeling trying to process all the different feeling I felt while reading, and find the perfect words to write this review . Only I’m not sure there are any perfect words out there to do this beautifully written and extremely emotional love story enough justice. From page one I knew I was in trouble, something pulled me to Simon and Evan like a magnet - it really was impossible not to give them my heart . Evan has been through so much pain and grief in his life , more than anyone should ever have to endure . So when Simon enters his life everything changes . For the first time in a very long time he finds out what’s it’s like to have someone in his corner .to experience the true meaning of being loved and supported and accepted for who he is and not who others want him to be . This is so much more then your typically happily ever after love story . It’s a journey filled with love and hate and friendships and heartbreak and acceptance. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that plays on all your emotions in ways you won’t even be expecting. You’ll experience everything from being utterly speechless, to yelling outta pure frustration. Your heart will feel like it’s beating so fast and then bam being crushed with tears streaming down your cheeks , you’ll be glued to the edge of your seat anticipating what will happen from one second to the next . And you’ll find yourself rooting so freaking hard . What a duo Courtney W Dixon and Joelle Lynne make . To say that all my expectations were exceeded would definitely be a understatement.

[Lia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book exudes sadness and despair, and yet it’s full of hope and love. Nothing could prepare Evan for a tragedy that took away his sweetheart and left him with a newborn on his hands. Not knowing what to do and no one to turn to, Evan feels completely lost and is loosing his battle with a very religious mother of his girlfriend, small town gossip network and an overpowering feeling of loneliness. The only two people who have been a constant in his life since early days were his aunt and uncle, who live too far from him. Simon may not be married to Evan’s aunt anymore, but he still considers Evan a family. That’s why he drops everything and rushes to Evan’s side. Helping him through a tough period, Simon starts to feel something more for Evan that he’s not ready to act on because his presence already casts a shadow on Evan and his little son since Simon is an outcast in this small town that he preferred to leave many years ago to escape the narrow minds who only believed in traditional values. Evan, in his turn, also started to notice new feelings that Simon stirred in him.

I liked that Courtney and Joelle brought up a religious aspect into their novel. They managed to show that sometimes “good Christians” could do terrible things in the name of God, and how circumstances could really corner you and make you feel defeated. Despite that, the two authors also made it clear that if there’s someone else with you in that corner stretching out a helping hand, anything is possible… good things happen and love prevails.

[Oceans · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Before I Fall" is a beautiful collaboration by authors Courtney W. Dixon and Joelle Lynne. I've read several of Courtney's books, but this was my first from Joelle. It certainly won't be my last. 


When we meet Evan, his life is in absolute shambles. His girlfriend Remi died during childbirth and he's completely alone with no family or loved ones to support him through his grief. He's left reeling and taking care of his newborn son through his grief. But then, just when everything is really going to sh!t, Simon enters the picture. A victim of alienation himself, Simon (Evan's former uncle) steps up to offer Evan the support he so desperately needs. The trio quickly form a little family and love blooms. But will their new family be able to withstand the unhinged torment doled out from the hyper-religious community?


This was one of those books where I started reading and before I knew it I was at 50%. I have a weakness for strong men taking care of their kids and babies, so I already knew this was going to be a winner. Be prepared for lots of homophobia and third-party angst. The story moves quickly, but didn't feel rushed. Even though this was a collab, I didn't perceive any harsh shifts between the writing styles that took me out of the story. I definitely think these authors should work together again in the future!


Overall, I really liked this book. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a found family MM romance with a perfect HEA.

[Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dee's Grade: A

Kink:🚦/5
Spice: 🥵🥵.5/5
Angst: 🥹🥹🥹/5
Humor: 🤣🤣/5
Toxicity: ☣️☣️☣️☣️/5 (not by MCs)
Bullying: 💔💔💔💔/5 (not by MCs)
Intimacy: ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥/5
Chemistry: 🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋/5
Dirty Talking: 🤬🤬.5/5
Hurt/Comfort: ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹/5
Codependency: 🫂🫂/5
Protectiveness: 🪦🪦🪦🪦/5
Possessiveness: ⚔️⚔️/5
Communication: 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣/5
The Dark Matter: 🌒/5
The Swoon Factor: 🫠🫠🫠🫠/5
Growth and Healing: 🥳🥳🥳🥳/5
Comfort Readability: 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗/5


** If the score is ONE EMOJI that means little to none of whatever category/trope was present in the book.

The book grabs you right from the start. We are immediately entrenched in the life and trauma of Evan. He experiences his greatest joy and greatest sorrow on the same day.

Our first time meeting Simon is when he rides in on his white horse to save Evan from being berated by the Wicked Witch of the Midwest. You immediately love him and his protective nature.

This story is about the bonds of blood and found family only being as strong as the unconditional love and acceptance you find within them.

When Evan is at his lowest and loneliest, Simon is there for him, anticipating his needs and offering him support in every possible way. The evolution of their relationship is organic and beautiful.

One of the things I loved about this book is that the obstacles they face are from outside sources. They are each other's sanctuary right from the start.

If you love tabooish connections with age-gap and found family, then this is a book you'll love.

[Xanthe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, this book definitely starts with an emotional punch, and not in a good way. Evan is there when his little boy is born but also when his partner dies. It's equally the worst and best day of his life, made no easier by the woman's mother who blames Evan. Having been abandoned by his parents for going against their strict religious views he finds himself alone and struggling with a newborn baby but his aunt's ex-husband, Simon, steps up just in time to support him through the wake and hushed abuse from the mother.
Simon is full of guilt for leaving Evan in a small town surrounded by intensely religious people with no support apart from him girlfriend. Now he's back hoping to help as much as possible before returning back home to New York. What he isn't expecting is the attraction he feels towards the younger man and how his heart is pulled towards the small family. It's a slow burn romance as Evan learns to live with his grief and being a new father whilst both men deal with the harassment and bullying from the mother. I was slightly surprised with how quickly Evan went from 0-60 but with how intense everything gets for him, Simon is an amazing source of support, care and love, and I really like just how fired he gets up in defence of the young man. Remi is a lovely little boy who brings joy to both men and their neighbour, Maggie, is a lot of fun, especially with the few things that she initially gets wrong.
A recommended read but please read the content warnings considering the death of a character just before the story starts, the intense religious views and how they are used to harass the MC's regarding their 'lifestyle'.
I received an ARC and am happily giving a review.