A Monster in the Mailbox

by Sheila Gordon, Tony De Luna (Illustrator)

"The disappointment Julius experiences when he buys a mail-order monster with his self-earned money is not repeated when he buys a book of monster fairy-tales from a used-book store."

71 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 1978

Reviews

[Lu · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a bit slow and boring for me.

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Parts that stood out to me:
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P9 yowl

P9-11 gave the old lady such a turn

P13 you look a fright
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Don’t be a tease

P15 be that as it may

P21 he’s in dire need of cash funds

P22
"Many of the things we love are bad for us,' Mrs. Kotzwinkle said.
"But a whole lot of them are good for us too," Julius remarked.

P25 frightening me out of my wits
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(Cat’s) white shirtfront

P33 creating such a racket

P64 potter wasps

P66
"Would you like it wrapped?" the old man asked.
"No thank you, " Julius said.
'A true reader,' the old man told them. "In my more than forty years' experience as a rare and secondhand book dealer, I have found that the true reader never wants the book he has bought to be packaged. He wants to hold it in his hand, to feel its weight and the texture of its cover in his palm. He wants to carry it straight home and start reading it. Right?"

[Aimee Massey · Rating 4 out of 5]

After a couple of artful feats of procrastination, a little boy named Julius is finally at the barbershop getting his hair cut. The boring errand suddenly becomes exciting when Julius finds an ad for a "48-inch tall, walking and talking monster!) in the back of a comic book while he waits his turn. Then and there, Julius knows this monster is something he simply must have.
And so our hero takes a job as weekend cat-sitter in order to earn the $2.99 he needs to buy his monster. He eagerly sends in his money and waits for the monster to arrive. Days go by with no mail for Julius, and after a while Julius gets interested in other things and almost forgets about his order.
And then one day in spring, Julius comes home to find a package from the notorious Acme Novelty Company on his bed! His monster has arrived! The package seems awfully small and light for a four-foot-tall, walking and talking monster, but Julius is undaunted.
Undaunted, that is, till he and his mother open up the package. The "monster" is an inflatable, red rubber toy, not scary at all, and Julius is bitterly disappointed. After a good cry, Julius gets his brother and sister to help him inflate the monster, which improves its appearance a good bit but the monster still doesn't talk or walk, and it's not even 48 inches tall. Julius looks to be on the verge of another bout of tears, so his brother Buffy gives the monster a good punch and a scolding. The monster reacts as most blow-up rubber things do when punched, by toppling over and bouncing, and soon all three kids are having a grand time bouncing the monster around the room.
Until ...
Pop! No more monster.
More tears.
And then Julius gets over being sad and gets mad instead! In the middle of the night he goes to his father's study and types up an angry letter to Acme, demanding his money back.
The audio version of this book is read by veteran stage actor and talking-book narrator George Guidall, who does a hilariously accurate imitation of a typewriter. That alone is worth a star or two all by itself.
The Acme Novelty Company sends Julious their standard response to money-back demands: a coupon for a $5 purchase, and their catalogue. Julius's brother and sister are excited and have a lot of fun looking through the catalogue for things Julius should use his coupon for, but, as is often repeated throughout the story "Julius was starting to get madder and madder." He's been done dirty by Acme and by God, they are going to give him his $3 back!
And so after another bout of "tk-tk-tk-tk!" typing, Julius receives his refund, and he and his siblings head to their favorite secondhand bookstore to spend it. And there, Julius finds a huge, beautifully illustrated book.
The book is called "The Monster Book of Fairy Tales" and the kindly old storekeeper informs Julius that it is on sale for exactly $3.
And so Julius goes home happy, armed with a treasury of stories and pictures of all kinds of monsters, and these monsters won't pop after five minutes.
This story is simple and adorable, a gentle and humorous cautionary tale about putting your faith and your money in the ads at the backs of comic books.