What do you think?
Rate this book
Hale Family AU #1
This Boy, Half-Destroyed
Teen Wolf Fanfic Post S2 - Sterek
"Bodies – those are something you understand, mostly; you know immediately exactly how much smaller he is than the last time you saw him. Too skinny, too pale; his cheeks cave in a little too much, from his face. He’s a shadow of something: he looks like the dead walking. His hands are stuffed down in the pockets of his hoodie and he looks tentative but not afraid."
Derek Hale used to have a family. Now, he's got a teenage human more trouble than he's worth.
Words: 25,599 complete
"Bodies – those are something you understand, mostly; you know immediately exactly how much smaller he is than the last time you saw him. Too skinny, too pale; his cheeks cave in a little too much, from his face. He’s a shadow of something: he looks like the dead walking. His hands are stuffed down in the pockets of his hoodie and he looks tentative but not afraid."
Derek Hale used to have a family. Now, he's got a teenage human more trouble than he's worth.
Words: 25,599 complete
77 pages, ebook
First published January 31, 2012
55 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
February 7, 2017
4.5 stars
the second person is a great fucking tense i will have you know
It is, indeed. I'm not usually a fan of second person narratives, but this was great. I loved the backstory and Derek's inner voice so much.
This fic heartbreaking and beautiful. I totally recommend it.
2nd read: 26-12-2015
“What about Mama’s family?” you asked Patrick as you kept walking. She never said anything about them.
“They died,” he told you, and lifted you over a puddle too wide for your little legs to cross on their own. So in the end you were like her: you, too, were the last one left.
the second person is a great fucking tense i will have you know
It is, indeed. I'm not usually a fan of second person narratives, but this was great. I loved the backstory and Derek's inner voice so much.
Now you were all fire and blood: you were a spark.
This fic heartbreaking and beautiful. I totally recommend it.
2nd read: 26-12-2015
April 13, 2015
Melancholic Sterek.
Told by Derek, it is very evocative. Derek is haunted, not by ghosts, but by memories. Still in that place of grief, even after all the years, where everything reminds him of someone: a lost love one, a last moment you didn't realize was the last, harsh words and broken links. He is drowning.
The clever part is the story that emerges as he is sliding under. And the realization that surrounded by severe ties there is still something unbreakable--Stiles.
I was clearly in the right mood for this, but I think this one is pretty darn strong and gives a depth to Derek that I rarely see.
Told by Derek, it is very evocative. Derek is haunted, not by ghosts, but by memories. Still in that place of grief, even after all the years, where everything reminds him of someone: a lost love one, a last moment you didn't realize was the last, harsh words and broken links. He is drowning.
The clever part is the story that emerges as he is sliding under. And the realization that surrounded by severe ties there is still something unbreakable--Stiles.
I was clearly in the right mood for this, but I think this one is pretty darn strong and gives a depth to Derek that I rarely see.
November 16, 2013
Bullet review because writing reviews on a phone is hard.
This fic is so, so sad. And so, so gorgeous.
It's narrated in second person present tense, which is uncommon and somehow makes everything feel even more dreamy, and it's Derek-centric - be still, my beating heart; a dream come true.
It's made up of short scenes from two different stories: Derek's past with his family, reinvented and original and explored in depth, and Derek's present right at the end of season 2, with Stiles and his new betas and the looming threat of the alpha pack.
I will not spoil anything about Derek's wonderful, complicated, difficult, fucking dead family (I grieved), or about the alpha pack's actions, or about the half-destroyed boy. I will only say that it is, again, so, so sad, and so, so gorgeous, and it has a hopeful, tentative, incomplete, slightly heartbreaking ending that will make this story stick in my heart and brain even more.
A few minus points for unrealistic betrayals - lips zipped, but it's really not worth worrying about.
Highly original, spellbindingly (is that a word?) written, and (for honesty's sake) not an actual romance (yet?), but full of love.
This fic is so, so sad. And so, so gorgeous.
It's narrated in second person present tense, which is uncommon and somehow makes everything feel even more dreamy, and it's Derek-centric - be still, my beating heart; a dream come true.
It's made up of short scenes from two different stories: Derek's past with his family, reinvented and original and explored in depth, and Derek's present right at the end of season 2, with Stiles and his new betas and the looming threat of the alpha pack.
I will not spoil anything about Derek's wonderful, complicated, difficult, fucking dead family (I grieved), or about the alpha pack's actions, or about the half-destroyed boy. I will only say that it is, again, so, so sad, and so, so gorgeous, and it has a hopeful, tentative, incomplete, slightly heartbreaking ending that will make this story stick in my heart and brain even more.
A few minus points for unrealistic betrayals - lips zipped, but it's really not worth worrying about.
Highly original, spellbindingly (is that a word?) written, and (for honesty's sake) not an actual romance (yet?), but full of love.
October 28, 2016
Update 03/31/2015: I am upping this to five stars. I just can't stop thinking about it.
So. Wow. Beautifully observant. Of life. Of feelings. Of the characters. Of relationships.
In this fic, M_Leigh tells Derek's story using second person POV, which I felt worked wonderfully in this fic. It is a very personal story and a very personal perspective which I believed allowed the reader to be exceptionally intimate with Derek. M_Leigh juxtaposes moments and reflections from Derek's life pre-season one (from his childhood, to the fire, to after the fire, to the years before he returned to Beacon Hills) against a post season two divergence in which he is spending time with Stiles preparing and dealing with the Alpha Pack.
This fic is calmly eerie. I am not sure if because so much of it is spend remembering the dead, and with loss. But there is this kind of lingering eeriness to it. It is authentic and imaginative at the same time. So true to the characters and so original in its creations. M_Leigh explores canon while at the same time penning this divergence to canon that suits the show and a budding Sterek at the same time.
A lot of time is spent around the night before the fire and every action and thought that built to it (as would probably be true for Derek - to relive those moments over and over again, cling to them in a way). But I didn't pity Derek in this despite his very raw POV that made him a sad character, but there were moments that tripped me up and made me catch my breath at the potent depth so blatantly written at times. Moments when I was caught up in Derek's train of thought and then he would say something like this:
"This is something you know: when your parents die, you are always a child. You were never younger than the day your family died."
or
"Your mother made chicken and rice and asparagus, and because you didn't know then that it was going to be the last meal she cooked for you, you ate it too fast without giving it a moment's thought."
or even the time he realized he is laughing in front of Stiles for the first time - something he doubts Stiles has ever seen him do before.
M_Leigh's observations of Stiles through Derek's eyes are just as profound.
"There is, in Stiles, a shaking trembling self that is going to turn into something strong. He is going to be stronger for having had to fight against hating himself: he already is stronger, stronger than any of them, stronger than you."
"He is the thin thread of strength and the raw tragedy of death and you know him, you know him: he's the better version of you."
This is a character study of Derek. A budding Sterek is present and there is a very subtle promise of forever, but no "I love you's". It is filled with despair and loneliness and yet so much love lingering in his memories. A bit of a quest for Derek trying to remember how to love and be loved; how doing the right thing and not the selfish thing is the clearest path to love one can find within themselves - even if that path of action still leaves you alone in the end. But with hope, it won't.
At the beginning of the fic, M_Leigh writes:
"I think it says a lot about me that I find Derek Hale DEEPLY HILARIOUS whenever he is actually, you know, onscreen, and yet ... I have written approximately 25,000 words about his HORRIBLE EMOTIONAL PAIN in a totally unironic manner."
I immediately related to this statement upon reading it and am so happy M_Leigh explored Derek in a manner much more respectful than the show seems to (or lacks to).
* Why it is four stars instead of five?
Memento Mori is listed as the companion to this book - which it is, in that it explores events through, OC - Patrick's POV. However, in the words of the author, it is the blood blooms clean in you, ruby, that is the "spiritual companion" piece. It is Stiles' second person POV and is meant to be read as a stand alone, but demonstrates so well M_Leigh's grasp of these characters and his/her ability to be in their heads.
So. Wow. Beautifully observant. Of life. Of feelings. Of the characters. Of relationships.
In this fic, M_Leigh tells Derek's story using second person POV, which I felt worked wonderfully in this fic. It is a very personal story and a very personal perspective which I believed allowed the reader to be exceptionally intimate with Derek. M_Leigh juxtaposes moments and reflections from Derek's life pre-season one (from his childhood, to the fire, to after the fire, to the years before he returned to Beacon Hills) against a post season two divergence in which he is spending time with Stiles preparing and dealing with the Alpha Pack.
This fic is calmly eerie. I am not sure if because so much of it is spend remembering the dead, and with loss. But there is this kind of lingering eeriness to it. It is authentic and imaginative at the same time. So true to the characters and so original in its creations. M_Leigh explores canon while at the same time penning this divergence to canon that suits the show and a budding Sterek at the same time.
A lot of time is spent around the night before the fire and every action and thought that built to it (as would probably be true for Derek - to relive those moments over and over again, cling to them in a way). But I didn't pity Derek in this despite his very raw POV that made him a sad character, but there were moments that tripped me up and made me catch my breath at the potent depth so blatantly written at times. Moments when I was caught up in Derek's train of thought and then he would say something like this:
"This is something you know: when your parents die, you are always a child. You were never younger than the day your family died."
or
"Your mother made chicken and rice and asparagus, and because you didn't know then that it was going to be the last meal she cooked for you, you ate it too fast without giving it a moment's thought."
or even the time he realized he is laughing in front of Stiles for the first time - something he doubts Stiles has ever seen him do before.
M_Leigh's observations of Stiles through Derek's eyes are just as profound.
"There is, in Stiles, a shaking trembling self that is going to turn into something strong. He is going to be stronger for having had to fight against hating himself: he already is stronger, stronger than any of them, stronger than you."
"He is the thin thread of strength and the raw tragedy of death and you know him, you know him: he's the better version of you."
This is a character study of Derek. A budding Sterek is present and there is a very subtle promise of forever, but no "I love you's". It is filled with despair and loneliness and yet so much love lingering in his memories. A bit of a quest for Derek trying to remember how to love and be loved; how doing the right thing and not the selfish thing is the clearest path to love one can find within themselves - even if that path of action still leaves you alone in the end. But with hope, it won't.
At the beginning of the fic, M_Leigh writes:
"I think it says a lot about me that I find Derek Hale DEEPLY HILARIOUS whenever he is actually, you know, onscreen, and yet ... I have written approximately 25,000 words about his HORRIBLE EMOTIONAL PAIN in a totally unironic manner."
I immediately related to this statement upon reading it and am so happy M_Leigh explored Derek in a manner much more respectful than the show seems to (or lacks to).
* Why it is four stars instead of five?
Memento Mori is listed as the companion to this book - which it is, in that it explores events through, OC - Patrick's POV. However, in the words of the author, it is the blood blooms clean in you, ruby, that is the "spiritual companion" piece. It is Stiles' second person POV and is meant to be read as a stand alone, but demonstrates so well M_Leigh's grasp of these characters and his/her ability to be in their heads.
June 13, 2015
a not entirely successful but remarkably powerful experiment in second person writing.
moving, despite a little bit of a heavy hand at the outset. objectively this would usually rate a two or a three, but my fascination with the mechanics make it impossible for me to consider a rating any less than four.
the author's thoughts on second person narratives:
http://morgan-leigh.tumblr.com/post/4...
moving, despite a little bit of a heavy hand at the outset. objectively this would usually rate a two or a three, but my fascination with the mechanics make it impossible for me to consider a rating any less than four.
the author's thoughts on second person narratives:
http://morgan-leigh.tumblr.com/post/4...
November 18, 2013
I didn't think I would like this story because of the second person POV, but the author uses it well. I really felt drawn into the story rather than set apart from it. The emotions are really well developed, and the original characters feel just as real, and fully realized as the cannon characters. A mature, well rounded, and developed story.
April 18, 2015
Brilliant. Will review once I read all the other connected stuff. Wow.
December 31, 2015
first off this rating does not relate to the writing of this.
M_Leigh has way of writing Derek that is unique and very well done. The writing is beautiful.
That being said, I did not really enjoy this. I was bored and really this fic should fall into "pre-slash" rather than a full fledged Sterek. I can definitely see why people enjoy this one but I didn't love it.
M_Leigh has way of writing Derek that is unique and very well done. The writing is beautiful.
That being said, I did not really enjoy this. I was bored and really this fic should fall into "pre-slash" rather than a full fledged Sterek. I can definitely see why people enjoy this one but I didn't love it.
January 23, 2015
Second person isn't my favourite narrative voice and I am afraid it kept me from fully appreciating the story.
January 23, 2018
First time that I come across a fan fiction told from Derek's point of view. And with such emphasis on his emotional state!
The author took some liberties with the Hale family which I really liked. Such a creative and well thought out family that at times, I didn't feel in the Teen Wolf universe anymore. So kudos to Leigh for that!
As to the main story between Derek and Stiles. Again, so many veering off from all the other fictions I've read.
Overall? A lot of soul-searching and personal insight from Derek. A bleak and hopeless view that changes once Stiles comes along. Sprinkled with some Hale family history and some wicked magic tricks.
The author took some liberties with the Hale family which I really liked. Such a creative and well thought out family that at times, I didn't feel in the Teen Wolf universe anymore. So kudos to Leigh for that!
As to the main story between Derek and Stiles. Again, so many veering off from all the other fictions I've read.
Overall? A lot of soul-searching and personal insight from Derek. A bleak and hopeless view that changes once Stiles comes along. Sprinkled with some Hale family history and some wicked magic tricks.
February 18, 2018
Beautifully written story, full of heartbreak and emotion and Derek's feelings of loss and grieving for his family. Which is totally not my cup of tea, hence the two stars for the beautiful prose.
December 16, 2015
Very good. I look forward to the rest of this series.
M_Leigh certainly knows how to work 2nd person POV. Nice.
M_Leigh certainly knows how to work 2nd person POV. Nice.
May 5, 2015
Heart-breaking, and very beautiful.
January 22, 2017
Oh dear god the angst, the angst.
June 9, 2014
3.5 stars
Read
August 11, 2014Didn't work for me.
December 26, 2022
So one of the ways I've decided to scam my own reading challenge is to go back and reread some of my bookmarked fics if I could find them on GR. (And if they weren't too long. I'm tempted as hell to go reread "rebel rebel" for the third time but that's a full-ass novel and I'm fighting against the clock here.)
At some 25k words, "this boy, half-destroyed" (all lowercase mind you! and a one-shot! with a title AND and epigraph from Richard Siken!) fit the bill perfectly.
I remember it being very good - it is. I remember being emotionally devastated by the second person - I am devastated anew (never underestimate the power of 2nd person narration in the hands of a skilled writer!). Here's a taste of the writing:
"Your father became the wolf in his absent days, when he could not hold himself in his human body anymore. You knew this, although you rarely saw him this way. You knew he broke apart and came back together as the animal, that he went out into the forest and savaged small creatures until his fur was stained with blood. You saw him, once, late at night, after he’d come back. Your mother was washing the blood off of his face in the kitchen and they were both so wrapped up in the task that they didn’t notice you peering in at them from the family room. He looked so tired, so old – he was not old, then; you know that now – and your mother was touching him so carefully, making him clean.
(Funny how these things survive, these moments, even if you are the only one who still remembers them.)
For your mother it was different. (For your mother, everything was different.) For her it was joy. For her it was the heart of the world. She ran and she ran and she ran and she circled back for you, to make sure you could keep up, your puppy legs short and weak compared to hers. Her snout pushing through your fur, inspecting, making sure you were all right. All of you, but you most of all. You, who lagged the farthest behind; you, the smallest; you, the one she kept closest to, even so. Your fur was her color, the two of you black like the sky at night, eyes like stars.
This is what you want. This is what you miss the most. Your mother did not turn when she was angry: she turned when she was so happy she couldn’t keep it in anymore. Her anchor was love.
You wonder sometimes whether you could get back to that, somehow, whether you could try to reprogram yourself so that it was she who beat in your heart and not your anger. But you do not know how, and she is gone – she has been gone a long time – she cannot tell you. Nobody can tell you what to do anymore."
I will forever remain fascinated how fandom takes these canons that are objectively silly as hell (teen wolf, supernatural, marvel movies) and produces some of the most gut-punching, heart-wrenching stuff I've ever read. This fic is 25 thousand words of beauty and suffering and we'd never have it were it not for MTV's Teen Wolf. Something to chew on.
One thing that's slightly...well, I don't wanna say *off* (it's an integral part of the character dynamics in this ship) is the age difference (Stiles is 16 and Derek is 24). Nothing remotely smutty happens in this fic and the "romance" is more...two very lonely people just happy to finally have someone in their lives and hoping that they can beat the baddies that are trying to kill them. And it's very clear that Derek has never recovered emotionally from the death of most of his family when he himself was 16, and the overall tone of the story is that of misery and melancholia. So it's not like there is anything about this story that makes me, personally, uncomfortable, but yanno, it bears mentioning.
Anyway, cannot wait this author to come out with a litfic novel and knock us all off our asses !!
At some 25k words, "this boy, half-destroyed" (all lowercase mind you! and a one-shot! with a title AND and epigraph from Richard Siken!) fit the bill perfectly.
I remember it being very good - it is. I remember being emotionally devastated by the second person - I am devastated anew (never underestimate the power of 2nd person narration in the hands of a skilled writer!). Here's a taste of the writing:
"Your father became the wolf in his absent days, when he could not hold himself in his human body anymore. You knew this, although you rarely saw him this way. You knew he broke apart and came back together as the animal, that he went out into the forest and savaged small creatures until his fur was stained with blood. You saw him, once, late at night, after he’d come back. Your mother was washing the blood off of his face in the kitchen and they were both so wrapped up in the task that they didn’t notice you peering in at them from the family room. He looked so tired, so old – he was not old, then; you know that now – and your mother was touching him so carefully, making him clean.
(Funny how these things survive, these moments, even if you are the only one who still remembers them.)
For your mother it was different. (For your mother, everything was different.) For her it was joy. For her it was the heart of the world. She ran and she ran and she ran and she circled back for you, to make sure you could keep up, your puppy legs short and weak compared to hers. Her snout pushing through your fur, inspecting, making sure you were all right. All of you, but you most of all. You, who lagged the farthest behind; you, the smallest; you, the one she kept closest to, even so. Your fur was her color, the two of you black like the sky at night, eyes like stars.
This is what you want. This is what you miss the most. Your mother did not turn when she was angry: she turned when she was so happy she couldn’t keep it in anymore. Her anchor was love.
You wonder sometimes whether you could get back to that, somehow, whether you could try to reprogram yourself so that it was she who beat in your heart and not your anger. But you do not know how, and she is gone – she has been gone a long time – she cannot tell you. Nobody can tell you what to do anymore."
I will forever remain fascinated how fandom takes these canons that are objectively silly as hell (teen wolf, supernatural, marvel movies) and produces some of the most gut-punching, heart-wrenching stuff I've ever read. This fic is 25 thousand words of beauty and suffering and we'd never have it were it not for MTV's Teen Wolf. Something to chew on.
One thing that's slightly...well, I don't wanna say *off* (it's an integral part of the character dynamics in this ship) is the age difference (Stiles is 16 and Derek is 24). Nothing remotely smutty happens in this fic and the "romance" is more...two very lonely people just happy to finally have someone in their lives and hoping that they can beat the baddies that are trying to kill them. And it's very clear that Derek has never recovered emotionally from the death of most of his family when he himself was 16, and the overall tone of the story is that of misery and melancholia. So it's not like there is anything about this story that makes me, personally, uncomfortable, but yanno, it bears mentioning.
Anyway, cannot wait this author to come out with a litfic novel and knock us all off our asses !!
November 2, 2016
really, really good
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews