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Steampunk World
With Everything I Have
Sebastian has a problem. He's in love with his best friend Peter and has been since their schooldays when they were outcasts together. His pining is so obvious that all of London knows, even his frustrated mother who just wants him to be happy. The only person who doesn't know is Peter. An abusive childhood with a controlling father left Peter emotionally detached and socially anxious and now he mostly hides himself away in his house where he designs the unique, fast cars that are status symbols among the town's elite. People would kill to own a single one of Peter's cars. Sebastian owns four. The meaning in that is obvious to everyone but Peter.
In a late Victorian England where cars exist, even though they aren't exactly comfortable, and computers allow the shy to avoid human contact , a progressive spirit has led to a begrudging acceptance of the sexuality of certain members of society. The sodomy laws have been repealed so that two men might spend the rest of their lives together, but that is no guarantee of happiness. Peter risks his neck driving at dangerous speeds for fun but sees passion as something to be frightened of. Sebastian has been struggling to get Peter to realize his own feelings for years but he is starting to worry that it may never happen. Peter seems to want no part of the future that Sebastian is offering him, on the surface at least. But a future without Sebastian might be something that not even a mind like Peter's can imagine.
In a late Victorian England where cars exist, even though they aren't exactly comfortable, and computers allow the shy to avoid human contact , a progressive spirit has led to a begrudging acceptance of the sexuality of certain members of society. The sodomy laws have been repealed so that two men might spend the rest of their lives together, but that is no guarantee of happiness. Peter risks his neck driving at dangerous speeds for fun but sees passion as something to be frightened of. Sebastian has been struggling to get Peter to realize his own feelings for years but he is starting to worry that it may never happen. Peter seems to want no part of the future that Sebastian is offering him, on the surface at least. But a future without Sebastian might be something that not even a mind like Peter's can imagine.
64 pages, ebook
First published November 7, 2013
17 people are currently reading
68 people want to read
About the author
R. Cooper
80 books986 followersI'm R. Cooper, a somewhat absentminded, often distracted, writer of queer romance. I'm probably most known for the Being(s) in Love series and The Suitable 'Verse stories. Also the occasional story about witches or firefighters in love.
You can visit my website for updates or sign up for my newsletter . My newsletter is free! And comes out once a month or once every two months or so.
Otherwise... have some social media links if you want updates and whatever the hell else I am talking about.
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You can also support me on Patreon if you like
If you just want book release updates, I have a BookBub profile.
Also, I now have a Storygraph where I will try to track my reading in an organized fashion.
You can visit my website for updates or sign up for my newsletter . My newsletter is free! And comes out once a month or once every two months or so.
Otherwise... have some social media links if you want updates and whatever the hell else I am talking about.
Tumblr
BlueSky
**With Meta's current policies, I do not use FB or Insta or Threads for anything but the bare minimum.**
Instagram and Threads
You can also support me on Patreon if you like
If you just want book release updates, I have a BookBub profile.
Also, I now have a Storygraph where I will try to track my reading in an organized fashion.
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
June 14, 2025
Reread 06/2025
4,25 stars.
Still loved it.
(...spoilery content warning...)
Didn't remember that Sebastian had had other lovers (not on page) because he was sure his love for Peter was and would always be unrequited.
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Read 03/2025
Heartwarming and beautiful.
I adore R. Cooper's writing so much!
This story is set in the same world as 'And I Am Happy' and although the plot is different, it's equally lovely (with the prefect amount of sex).
4,25 stars.
Still loved it.
(...spoilery content warning...)
Didn't remember that Sebastian had had other lovers (not on page) because he was sure his love for Peter was and would always be unrequited.
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Read 03/2025
Heartwarming and beautiful.
I adore R. Cooper's writing so much!
This story is set in the same world as 'And I Am Happy' and although the plot is different, it's equally lovely (with the prefect amount of sex).
June 6, 2025
Mutual pining, best-friends to lovers ❤️, absolutely beautiful!
April 23, 2022
Thank you Santa's Naughty Hottie
3.75 stars
I enjoyed this one. I'm a fan of this authors work and while both guys are interested in each other there is no usual miscommunication or big silence that would solve the issue that the author generally uses so the guys felt like they got together a bit easier than we normally get.
I liked Peter and felt for him. He was obviously deeply uncomfortable around a lot of people and his friendship with Sebastian was nice to read. I would have liked to have seen it from his POV just to get an idea of what he was actually thinking. He was the one who in the end put himself out there to move the relationship along but I also think he had to be. I probably would have liked Sebastian to push him a little more, but their friendship was sweet.
3.75 stars
I enjoyed this one. I'm a fan of this authors work and while both guys are interested in each other there is no usual miscommunication or big silence that would solve the issue that the author generally uses so the guys felt like they got together a bit easier than we normally get.
I liked Peter and felt for him. He was obviously deeply uncomfortable around a lot of people and his friendship with Sebastian was nice to read. I would have liked to have seen it from his POV just to get an idea of what he was actually thinking. He was the one who in the end put himself out there to move the relationship along but I also think he had to be. I probably would have liked Sebastian to push him a little more, but their friendship was sweet.
May 29, 2025
I've read quite a lot of this author's work, but this one was unlike anything else. It's the characters, of course, their mutual oblivious pining, but with an intensity I found compelling. There's a lot of history and emotion shoehorned into so few pages, such that I knew what was happening but had to find out how they finally resolved things. The shortness keeps that need from becoming annoyance.
The companion story, And I am Happy, is referenced, but the order they're read doesn't matter, they're otherwise separate couples' stories.
The companion story, And I am Happy, is referenced, but the order they're read doesn't matter, they're otherwise separate couples' stories.
December 10, 2018
Awwww. Sweet. Liked this short read a lot.
January 19, 2015
3.85 stars rounded up
This was another fantasy by R. Cooper, more steampunk than epic though, but no less lovely for that. Here we've got another semi accepted homosexuality historical setting but no castles and warriors just haut ton and cars! While there was none of the dreamy lyricality of My Man Godric it still had a well-suited tone, one that perfectly fit a Victorian-esque era popinjay such as Sebastian. I found the fraught sexual and emotional tension quite powerfully written and touching and poor Peter's background nicely conveyed in it's subtlety.
This was another fantasy by R. Cooper, more steampunk than epic though, but no less lovely for that. Here we've got another semi accepted homosexuality historical setting but no castles and warriors just haut ton and cars! While there was none of the dreamy lyricality of My Man Godric it still had a well-suited tone, one that perfectly fit a Victorian-esque era popinjay such as Sebastian. I found the fraught sexual and emotional tension quite powerfully written and touching and poor Peter's background nicely conveyed in it's subtlety.
June 8, 2025
Ew ew ew so much Nope. Not for me.
Shoot. I thought this was a safe-for-me author, but, note to self—scrutinize reviews, because this sweet adorable beautifully written novella was a ticking time bomb for me.
I don’t have a nice way to explain, it’s the usual “not safe for me/rake in the face” issue, so, don’t read this spoiler if you aren't in the mood for upset sarcasm:
Clearly, Sebastian understands Peter’s love language but doesn’t think it’s good enough. Or doesn’t think it means anything without the words. Peter, my fondest wish is for lovely you to meet someone who does.
DNF 25%.
Probably HFN or HEA. Friends who are already lovers but one MC has tons and tons of other lovers, and one MC does not. Not safe for me. Recommended if you love the author’s work/voice—which are indeed fabulous! I’ve loved everything else of hers I’ve read so far!—and don’t mind MCs being intimate with each other at the same time as other people. It’s probably a lovely story for those without my hang-up.
Excuse me while I bleach my brain.
Shoot. I thought this was a safe-for-me author, but, note to self—scrutinize reviews, because this sweet adorable beautifully written novella was a ticking time bomb for me.
I don’t have a nice way to explain, it’s the usual “not safe for me/rake in the face” issue, so, don’t read this spoiler if you aren't in the mood for upset sarcasm:
Clearly, Sebastian understands Peter’s love language but doesn’t think it’s good enough. Or doesn’t think it means anything without the words. Peter, my fondest wish is for lovely you to meet someone who does.
DNF 25%.
Probably HFN or HEA. Friends who are already lovers but one MC has tons and tons of other lovers, and one MC does not. Not safe for me. Recommended if you love the author’s work/voice—which are indeed fabulous! I’ve loved everything else of hers I’ve read so far!—and don’t mind MCs being intimate with each other at the same time as other people. It’s probably a lovely story for those without my hang-up.
Excuse me while I bleach my brain.
December 15, 2017
What a wonderful story.
Sebastian has been in love with his best friend Peter since school but Peter is closed off and he thinks his feelings aren't reciprocated.
What follows is a dance of words and small interactions that bring insight to both Sebastian and Peter about their unspoken feelings, wonderful and bittersweet. I'm very thankful that this was available on Smashwords to pick up.
Sebastian has been in love with his best friend Peter since school but Peter is closed off and he thinks his feelings aren't reciprocated.
What follows is a dance of words and small interactions that bring insight to both Sebastian and Peter about their unspoken feelings, wonderful and bittersweet. I'm very thankful that this was available on Smashwords to pick up.
January 28, 2025
Another 3.5 star read for me, rounded up. I once again enjoyed this alternate historical Victorian era, but I think I simply have far less patience with Peter than Sebastian does, and wanted... I don't even know. Something more from him after the years of pining and lack of communication. 😕
June 15, 2025
Not quite as good as the other story in this world. I didn’t like the dialogue and found it to confuse things unnecessarily at times.
Note: OM drama kinda, which I don’t mind at all, but I know others do.
Note: OM drama kinda, which I don’t mind at all, but I know others do.
August 12, 2020
A really sweet romance, beautifully written.
January 25, 2021
4 Stars
Peter is fascinating & wonderful, & Sebastian has the best clothes. Beautiful slow burn in a short story.
Peter is fascinating & wonderful, & Sebastian has the best clothes. Beautiful slow burn in a short story.
May 27, 2025
A well presented and enjoyable experience 😀
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 29, 2025
This is a short ,wonderful example of R.Cooper's work. Her words are poetic and certainly set the mood. Please read
April 10, 2018
Ah, this was a lovely, well written story, I'd even say 4.5 stars. Just a very well fleshed out short story with interesting characters, and strong execution. Peter is hard to get a read on, and a bit of a mysterious creature. Sort of sad considering his upbringing but we come to find out he's not as removed from his circumstances as Sebastian thinks he is. The two have a friends with occasional benefits situation but Peter always withdraws for a time afterwards. But not for the reasons Sebastian thinks. Lovely little 'meant to be, you've blown my mind' story with a solid promise of HEA and even mothers approval, which in Victorian times would have been something! Very much enjoyed this!
March 6, 2024
Short but intense, this romance packs a punch like many of this author's work. I mostly liked how things played out between Sebastian and Peter, with the slight exception that I feel like Seb's affinity for casual sex and how this gave Peter the understandable impression that he wasn't emotionally significant to Seb wasn't dealt with. Not an uncommon problem for me with Cooper's work, but an annoying one.
On the whole the story was suffused with the kind of intense pining that makes Cooper's stories so moreish. I also enjoyed the sort of steampunk-meets-rengency-England setting.
On the whole the story was suffused with the kind of intense pining that makes Cooper's stories so moreish. I also enjoyed the sort of steampunk-meets-rengency-England setting.
August 6, 2014
I loved these characters. So in love with each other but so wrong in their connections. Sebastian has loved Peter forever and waits patiently for Peter to come to him and let him love him. And Peter thinks that Sebastian doesn't want him that much because Sebastian only loves him once in a while. Finally Peter begins to realize that he has to let Sebastian know how he truly feels. I felt for these men, their pain and their love.
Wonderful read.
Wonderful read.
December 22, 2013
3.6 stars.
August 9, 2016
3.5 stars
Sweet. The UST is there(it's R Cooper!) but is perhaps a bit lacking in this story.
Sweet. The UST is there(it's R Cooper!) but is perhaps a bit lacking in this story.
January 10, 2014
3.5 stars. I would've liked a bit more to the story but I still really enjoyed this. :)
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews