Private London Review
I’m not through with this book yet, but felt compelled to review it anyway. And I’m sorry, but this will not be a favorable review. If you’re a fan of the Private series – stop reading now.
Although I am not an avid reader of James Patterson novels, I do like his novels, particularly the Alex Cross series and the Women’s Murder Club. So, I feel I’m acquainted with his style. That said, I think the only thing about this particular book that reeks of James Patterson is his name splashed across the cover. If he contributed anything other than the basic idea (Hey – I’ve got this idea for a series! We’ll build stories around a private investigative service with offices worldwide, with one author writing about the owner, and different writers each writing about a different agent of the organization. Yeah. And we’ll say the series is written by me with whomever that other writer is.). In fact, if he contributed any more to this book than what is in parenthesis above, I wouldn’t admit it if I were him.
First, the author (and I don’t mean Patterson), seems to be a fan of noir fiction or maybe he’s channeling Raymond Chandler. While the novel is set in present time, the main character has all the earmarks of those noir P.I.s, right down to addressing a woman, a London police detective at that (albeit his ex-wife) as “Dollface.” Dollface? Really?
This character, who is investigating a kidnapping in which his god daughter is grievously injured, is a bundle of mixed up inconsistencies. Hell-bent for revenge one minute, backing down the next, blustering through in a take-the-devil fashion in one scene and being cowed in another. And there’s the matter of his libido. Evidently every woman is fair game, and even when he goes to the Intensive Care Unit to visit his comatose god daughter, he spends his time ogling her visitor, describing her figure and attire while imagining definite “sparks” between them, even noting the remarkable figure of the injured girl's mother -- and then goes home to find his ex-wife waiting for him and, yes, they end up in bed. Yep. One cold horn dog.
Then, let’s address the writing specifics. Plotting. Okay. It moves along and has interesting twists and turns. Characterization (and I’m now on page 224 of 373, so I’d expect characterizations of main characters to be fleshed out by now) kinda sucks. While I know a lot about Dan Carter, the main character, I don’t know much about his sidekick, Sam, nor the injured god daughter – and only back story on the kidnapped girl, Hannah. There are things about a couple of other characters that I think are intentionally withheld to be revealed later – and that’s okay by me – but the basic characterizations are just missing. I don’t relate to the characters; I neither love them nor do I hate them – so far, I’ve not been given a reason to have any feeling at all about them.
There are no real mistakes in spelling or grammar – I’d assume that’s thanks to Patterson’s resources. For that I’m grateful, because if my progress in the book were being stopped by those problems even more often than it already is, I would have long ago thrown the book across the room and moved on to the next novel in my bookcase.
The use of short (read that miniscule) chapters is driving me crazy. I don’t mind chapters that aren’t lengthy as long as they complete a scene and leave me at a spot where I could easily put in a bookmark and go about my real life. As I’ve noted in other reviews, with this book I feel like I’m reading a movie script. The chapters are never more than a few pages (maybe 4) long and often it takes more than one chapter to complete a scene. I feel like the author is breaking for a commercial. Chapter 39 is a whopping 1 page long. Well, really just half a page as it doesn’t even start until halfway down the page. 40 is about 3 pages long (the 1st page being just ½ and the 4th being just ½) and ends exactly where the 2 page long chapter 41 begins. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGH. Either this author thinks his readers are idiots with the attention span of a gnat or he just sits down to write and when he’s done a little bit, calls it a chapter and goes for a latte.
Hopefully, if Patterson’s plan is to stay with his “co-authors” and their characters, this particular character, Dan Carter will just fade away.
Oh – and by the way, whose intellectual property would the character Dan Carter be? Patterson’s or the co-author, Mark Pearson’s?
I’ve decided not to waste my time with any of the other books in this series. This one? I’m determined to finish it, even though I literally have to make myself pick it up every day to read some more. I refuse to skip to the last chapter (maybe two or three In this case…) to just find out what happens. But, then again, reading is supposed to be enjoyable – isn’t it?
Feb 13th
Well, I finally finished the book -- all 116 chapters in 364 pages. That's about 3 and a fraction pages per chapter (Kat shakes her head and sighs -- loudly).
I will say that if you can manage to slog through the first 70 or so chapters, the pace picks up, the action starts zipping along, ends get tied up (sort of) and the last 40 or so chapters go much faster than the first 3/4 of the book. I found it extremely funny that this main character, Dan Carter, who sounds like an escapee from a Sam Spade novel, makes fun of someone in the final chapters who says "Don't do this, man. We can work something out." by thinking 'Man? Was he living in the 1960s?' But at least he wrote 1960s correctly -- without an apostrophe.
I found the ending to be far fetched, unsatisfying and downright unbelievable. Red herrings and clues -- all given at least their due 3 page chapter -- with no connections, no clues as to why any event was or wasn't important. This or that character is depicted as good, then bad, then good again. To tell you the truth, the storyline wasn't worth trying to puzzle them all together.
So, nice try at the finish, Mark Pearson, but no gold stars for you. And, although it may be unfair to the other authors in this series, and I could be cutting off my nose to spite my face, so to speak, I will not read another book in the series.