The Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips

The Housewife Assassin #3

by Josie Brown

Murder, suspense, sex--and some handy household tips.

IN BOOK 3 OF THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES:

- TIS THE SEASON: For murder, mayhem, and missing missiles!
- HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN DONNA STONE'S MISSION: Stop a terrorist cell before it launches a heat-seeking missile at a plane landing in Los Angeles.
- AND NAUGHTY SANTA IS EVERYWHERE: It's hard to convince your child that Santa is so good, when everywhere you turn he's being very, very bad!

Read an excerpt at HousewifeAssassinsHandbook.com

Genres: Mystery, Cozy Mystery, Fiction, Christmas, Romance, Thriller, Cozy

181 pages, ebook

First published March 14, 2012

About the author

Josie Brown's forty-two novels are now in the hands of over two million readers.

She has been published by St. Martin's Press, Simon & Schuster, HarperCollins Publishers, Penguin Books.

Read Josie’s books. You’ll get a good idea of her sense of humor. https://www.JosieBrown.com

You'll also find Josie on
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/JosieBrownCA
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/josiebrownau...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/josiebrownn...

Visit her podcast, where she discusses writing with other authors:
http://bit.ly/AuthorProvocateurApple

Josie is the author of these novels:

The Housewife Assassin Novel Series, including
- Handbook (Book 1)
- Guide to Gracious Killing (Book 2)
- Killer Christmas Tips (Book 3)
- Relationship Survival Guide (Book 4)
- Vacation to Die For (Book 5)
- Recipes for Disaster (Book 6)
- Hollywood Scream Play (Book 7) [2014, Signal Press]
- Killer App (Book 8) [August 2014, Signal Press]
- Hostage Hosting Tips (Book 9)
- Garden of Deadly Delights (Book 10)
- Tips for Weddings, Weapons, and Warfare Hosting Tips (Book 11)
- Husband Hunting Hints (Book 12)
- Ghost Protocol (Book 13)
- Terrorist TV Guide (Book 14)
- Deadly Dossier (Book 15 - SERIES PREQUEL)
- Greatest Hits (Book 16 )
- Fourth Estate Sale (Book 17 )
- Horrorscope (Book 18 )
- White House Keeping Seal of Approval (Book 19)
- Assassination Vacation Tips (Book 20)
- Antisocial Media Tips (Book 21)
- Manners, Missiles & Mayhem (Book 22)
- Gambit (Book 23)
- Underwater Assets (Book 24)

The Candidate (Steamy Political Thriller)

Extracurricular - 3 episodic Novels (2020; Signal Press)

Totlandia - 8 episodic Novels (2014-2017; Signal Press)

The Baby Planner
[2011, Simon & Schuster]

The Housewife Assassin Gets Lucky (written with Deborah Coonts)

Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
[2010, Simon & Schuster 2014 Signal Press]]

Hollywood Hunk (Book 1 - True Hollywood Lies)
[2005, HarperCollins; 2010 Signal Press]

Her novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives (Simon & Schuster), is being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer as a dramatic series for NBC-TV.

She is also the author of three non-fiction books: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right [Penguin/Alpha]; Marriage Confidential: 102 Honest Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know [Signal Press]; and Last Night I Dreamt of Cosmopolitans: A Modern Girl's Dream Dictionary [St. Martin's Press]

Before becoming a full-time novelist, Josie also worked in advertising (JWT, DDB/Needham, BBM&B) and radio (WPLO-AM, Atlanta; WZGC-FM, Atlanta).

As a journalist, Josie has interviewed Maya Angelou, Brenda Blethyn, Julian Bond, Kenneth Branagh, Jackie Collins, Costa-Gavras, Craig Ferguson, John Gray, Derek Jacobi, Debbie Reynolds, and John Woo. Her celebrity interviews and relationships trends articles have been featured in Los Angeles Times Syndicate International, Redbook, and Complete Woman, as well as AOL, Yahoo, AskMen.com, Divorce360.com, and SingleMindedWomen.com, where she serves as the Relationships Channel editor.

Josie's interviews for her podcast, Author Provocateur, and for the International Thriller Writers magazine THE BIG THRILL include such notable authors as David Baldacci, Samantha M. Bailey, C.J. Box, Allison Brennan, Lee Child, Deborah Coonts, Robert Dugoni, Barry Eisler, JT Ellison, Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke, Tess Gerritsen, Andrew Gross, Kristan Higgins, Jon Land, John Lescroart, John Lutz, James Rollins, Hank Phillippi Ryan, Brad Thor, and Debra Webb.

Although born and raised (a Southern expression) in and around Atlanta, Georgia, Josie is proudly one-hundred percent Puerto Rican: her father was born in Ponce, and her mother was from Humacao. Does this make Josie a Georgiarican? She thinks so, and proudly claims that title.

She now lives in San Francisco with her husband and two children.

Reviews

[Josie Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Readers,

I had so much fun writing the third novel in my Housewife Assassin series! The holidays are a frenetic time of year as is. When you've got to save the world from a terrorist act, too...well, let's just say Donna has a lot of reasons to be stressed out.

To top it off, her youngest child is teetering away from believing in Santa Claus. This loss of her child's innocence breaks Donna's heart.

Not to mention Jack's ex --and Donna's -- keep intruding into their lives.

Lots of mistletoe, murder and mayhem!

Enjoy,

Josie BrownThe Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips

[Tracey Mcd · Rating 3 out of 5]

These books are like candy canes-delightful in the moment, a bit expected and don’t stick with you. But that doesn’t mean they’re bad or without a place.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfect for the holidays

I couldn't stop laughing at the handy tips and recipes that precede each chapter. A fun holiday read with characters you'll love (and some you'll love to hate). So glad I picked this one up.

[Brenda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each chapter starts with a Christmas Tip - from an assassin's viewpoint.

When Carl attempts at winning back Carol & their kids proves unsuccessful, Carl's Quorum activities escalate. The top position in the organization has opened up and Carl wants it.
Forced to take an assignment she wants to refuse puts Donna into a deviant's path when Jack fails to arrive.

Another tongue in cheek adventure with Donna Stone.

[Julie Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. It is not quite a handbook on how to kick butt with grace and style because things normally go wrong but it certain does it with humour. Donna is a strong independent woman (character) that will have every body falling in love with her (even her teenage daughters boyfriend) and she saves the world (and even the president) all while running around after three children as they get ready for Christmas.
Christmas is a time for giving but Donna wishes someone hadn't given a naughty Santa a heat-seeking missile for Christmas because it is her job to stop him firing it. She still needs to find the perfect gift for her youngest daughter, get a present for the office secret Santa, decorate the Christmas tree, save the president from an attack, take part in a couples cruise ship party oh and get rid of her annoying ex husband all before Christmas eve. Is there anyway she can get it all done to make Santa's good list?

[Khoward50 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love reading this type of story as a break from some of our book club choices. The characters are interesting and well developed. These stories always come with humor, action and romance. I especially enjoyed the Christmas tips at the beginning of each chapter.

[Iris Chacon · Rating 5 out of 5]

The secret life of the California housewife!

This delightful mix of humor, romance, espionage and Christmas recipes will delight and entertain you. Highly recommended for reading by the tree with a cup of eggnog. Adult subject matter in places, but language and sexuality are moderate.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love this series !!! Just love the on going missions of Jack and Donna !!!

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good. Lots of unexpected turns of events. Josie Brown didn't disappoint me with this book. She's a pleasure to read.

[Clarence A Corter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Killer Christmas Tips

I really enjoyed reading this book. Josie Brown tells the story in a descriptive, humorous, and romantic way. I'm looking forward to reading more of her books.

[Anika · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have already brought book four of this series and I’m loving it. I’m glad that the author likes my reviews too. In this book her youngest daughter Trisha has found out that Santa Claus isn’t real by none other than her best friend Janie. However, Donna does not like this because it will mean that her baby is growing up and she just wants her to be innocent for a little while longer. So what does Donna do? She takes Trisha to the mall to meet Santa to sit on his lap and tell him what she wants. However, nothing seems to be going right for Donna. The first Santa apparently has been too nice with one of his elves and thus when Mrs. Claus comes it is a knock down fight. So what’s Donna to do but try again at another Mall. This time Santa dies while another child is telling him what she wants for Christmas and it makes the news nationally. OH my goodness!! Does Donna try again or give up? The unexpected happens Trisha meets Santa Claus in her house while he puts Christmas presents under the tree for her and her siblings. Trisha can’t believe this and goes to wake Mommy. But it isn’t Santa all dressed in red but Carl the ex who she cannot get rid of and he gets Trisha what Donna has been search for all over the place for the perfect give that she wants. So Donna tells Trisha to go back to bed but catches Carl/Santa kissing Donna. So of course at breakfast Trisha blurts out that she caught Mommy kissing Santa Claus and I know what song came to your mind as it did come to my mind too. Cute!!

Besides from the Christmas holiday that Donna wants to be special for her family and Jack. She’s on another mission to stop and recover missing missiles to be used on a Los Angeles plane. But of course it is not easy because her husband Carl seems to be one step ahead but he has help from Jack’s ex Vantenia. But things are not always as they seem again. People you are supposed to trust have blinders over their eyes and don’t see the truth at least that’s what Donna thinks when it comes to Jack and his feelings for his ex. Will Donna have a happy Christmas with her family and the man she loves or will Vantenia and Carl get in the way or cause a wedge between her and Jack.

A must read to see what happens next and a little spoiler a secret is revealed about Vantenia. Oh my!

[Marcia-Lee Finocchio · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Christmas to remember!

Donna is a housewife, mother of three, who secretly works for the government as a killer of bad people. Trying to handle it all takes a lot, especially when there is a ex involved! Entertaining series!

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would probably be a 3.5 if that was allowed. This series continues to entertain me with poor Donna trying to balance her housewife/mother duties with saving the world through her duties as an assassin for the government. This one is set at Christmas time, so in addition to her usual activities she´s trying to find the elusive toy her youngest wants, and to persuade her five-year-old to continue to believe in Santa a little longer. Meanwhile her "husband" is killed by her real husband and she´s once again trying to keep her children from finding out they´ve lost their "father". Luckily there´s a twist that makes things better, but between trying to retrieve a missile from a guy hosting a bondage cruise, and fighting off would-be muggers (and accidentally attracting the interest of her daughter´s boyfriend in the process) she´s having a crazy Christmas.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Words cannot express how much I love a Donna Stone book! As soon as Josie announces its available, dang, I am there and life gets put on hold whilst I have a bit of "me time".

This time around, Donna is trying to provide her kids with the perfect Christmas, whilst trying to foil a terrorist plot. The ex-husband who refuses to stay dead and buried is back, and a ghost from Jack's past makes a reappearance, threatening the happiness that Donna and Jack are working towards.

There are bombs and explosions, hitmen and women, and as always, a great fun ride!

I loved every minute of it, and can't wait for the next instalment!

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh the trials of a suburban housewife! Keeping track of your kids, helping at school, carpooling, housework, supporting your husband, and oh yea, saving the world. It's no wonder they get so bored. Josie Brown has another winner with Donna's latest trials. She runs through quite the range of emotions, and escapades, and though she may be a little late she never misses her turn at the carpool.
This is a fun series. The story never lags, and it keeps you on the edge of your seat, but it also keeps you laughing. I highly recommend this series.

[Jessica Berry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gets a 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 review!

I'm devouring holiday reads this month, and I chose to reread this book for my December 2021 holiday binge. I love the introductions to the chapters. I've now learned how to make mulled wine, poison my enemies, AND create handmade wrapping paper and gift boxes! Fabulous!

I love this series, and I loved this Christmassy installment. Donna is her usual badass self. Jack is his usual dreamy self. Carl is his usual douche self. If you haven't started this series yet, do it!

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

if you can handle smoking sex scenes like suspense, romance, espionage, and humor. - then this series is for you- a friend recommended this series after finding out i read s plums adventures--- thanks t---- ok so this this time around donna our housewife and government assassin -- deals with trying to have the perfect christmas- for her kids- a lady from jacks past and her ex husband - this should be a tv series----- a fast paced fun read -and can not wait to find out what happens next

[Connie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donna's got another mission, stop a heat seeking missile. I love this series and am very glad that I discovered it. Donna is fun, sarcastic and far from having a perfectly put together life. The reader can relate to the day to day challenges Donna faces with her kids, her love life and her neighbors. The spy/assassin part of her life is icing on the cake.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

pushy parents better move out of the way when our spy-mom is after the one special item for her kids.
cute, fun, and fast.
I finished this series months ago, I'm just getting around to writing the review.
Read it!

[Trish · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amusing. Light reading. Chapters are very short. Plot is negligible. There’s a little too much sex for my taste. However, I plugged along because I wanted to see what happens with the heroine’s “husband”-assassin partner.

[PJ Lea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Christmas cheer?

I would love to be as kick ass as Donna Stone, though maybe without the risk of being killed. The tips are the icing on the Christmas cake in this rollicking romp as Donna and Jack prepare for the festive season.

[Judith Wong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Merry Murder and a Happy New Year!

The further escapades of Donna, Jack and the gang leading up to Christmas. Told in Josie's amusing and succinct way! Her kids are growing a little too fast for Donna's liking, is there really Santa?

[Leise Chadwick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the 3rd book in the series but not quite as much as the second... it seemed too short... nonetheless, I am off to read book 4!

[Linda Marquis · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say love all in this series

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

As always another exciting, entertaining, quick and fun read from Josie Brown!

[Dee Haddrill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a great series!!! I love Jack and hope that they get rid of Carl and Valentina ASAP!!

[Deity · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so good. I love Donna and Jack together. Downloading the next book as I type this.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious comments before each chapter that lighten the hectic holiday season!

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this series! The chapter openings make me laugh! On to the next! Yay!

[Berryparfait · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome and fun. A great summer read.