How to Bury a Goldfish: And Other Ceremonies and Celebrations for Everyday Life

by Virginia E. Lang, Louise B. Nayer

How to Bury a Goldfish is an inventive collection of new traditions and rituals to commemorate and honor the many special moments and milestones in day-to-day life. Enjoyable and easy to follow, the rituals are short, cost almost nothing, and can be easily adapted to fit any lifestyle. The authors cover a wide range of life's events, both big and small, from helping a single friend begin a new home life, to making the passage into adulthood, to mourning the death of a loved one.

Featuring a host of celebration ideas, this remarkable guide addresses more conventional occasions such as holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, family dinnertime, and nighttime prayer, as well as more unique experiences, such as a teen's first job, a women's midlife journey, and an elder's move into assisted living. Through the art of simple ritual and ceremony, How to Bury a Goldfish allows readers to slow down, sit in silence, and savor all of the precious moments that enrich our daily lives. Rituals and ceremonies a daily renewal for the morning shower, a Valentine's Day ritual for a sensitive single, a commemoration honoring a child's first performance, and a Thanksgiving celebration for a couple.

* Offers more than 100 original celebrations and traditions for a wide readership, including rituals for men and women, old and young, families, parents, and singles.
* Provides a wealth of new traditions for many occasions, from light-hearted to serious.
* Acts as a unique tool for honoring the ordinary, everyday events in our lives.
* Includes many observances for young people becoming adults and taking on adult responsibilities.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

Born in NYC now living in San Francisco, I've been working on a memoir for over ten years--Burned--about a tragic accident in Cape Cod that severely burned my parents. That book will come out in April 2010 from Atlas and Co.

Before that I wrote two books of poetry--Keeping Watch and The Houses are Covered in Sound--and then I co-authored a non-fiction book How to Bury a Goldfish. I also teach full time at City College of San Francisco--and look forward to talking about my new book!"

Reviews

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

So disappointing! I enjoy the idea of bonding with family and friends by creating memories together, and to recognize special moments in ordinary days as well as significant occasions. This, though...no. Only the most new-agey families would indulge mom (let alone happily) in these "rituals," most of which truly would better be described as "ceremonies." Admittedly, some of the underlying sentiments and basic premises of these rituals are so very sweet and kind-hearted. But seriously, how many of us can envision gathering all our woman friends UNDER A FULL MOON, naturally, to present a newly-menstruating young loved one with small gifts from nature and a sharing of hopes and dreams (followed by a swim in the ocean, if possible)? Or how about this: lighting a fire in your new home, gazing at a picture of the previous owners if possible, and speaking your intention to honor their memory and accept responsibility for the care of the home? Some of the scenarios are universal, many others are clearly more specific to the authors. The adoption ceremony they outline is very much designed for an overseas (not domestic)adoption (which one author did). One ritual (which takes TWO HOURS) is to mourn being passed over for a job opportunity--something most people have dealt with, but evidently one of the authors has a husband who really struggled with this once in particular. One of the entries is titled "An AIDS Death," which is one of several that I personally found unnecessarily specific.
So, great idea. I bet someone out there executed it in a more accessible way.

[Sallie · Rating 2 out of 5]

So disappointing, it was a fast read, probably because there was nothing to comphrehend

[Janie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was a bit disappointed. I had to bring a lot more to the book than I got out of it. Still, depending on the stage you're at in ruminating on tradition, there's something to be had in here for figuring out what you would like and what you already have (and maybe what you can do without).

This really focuses on everyday life *of families with children*, although a concession is thrown here and there to the people in other life situations.

Unfortunately, this book too often fell on the terribly twee side of the navel-gazing neo-hippie fence. Perhaps something got lost in emotional translation, but what was an attempt at 'heartfelt' moved into 'contrived and saccharine'.

[Melinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't really see using too many of the rituals in this book, but I really appreciated the idea. It got me thinking about how my family marks occasions both everyday and grand. The best part of the whole thing for me was the introduction. The book is an invitation and an offering, and I took it in that spirit.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a valuable book, but I felt many of the vignettes were just snippets of ideas rather than complete descriptions of ceremonies. As a UU, I'm searching for valuable ways to celebrate non-religious events. This book points in the right direction, but didn't fulfill my hopes for it.

[Kellie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing. There are a handful of good ideas, but most of them I cannot see myself or almost anyone I know actually doing. Example: celebrate the Rite of Spring by lying face down on the ground for a while and relaxing your body and feeling it "blend with the earth".

[Storhm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic.