Beloved Strangers: A Memoir

by Maria Chaudhuri

On and on we dream, we wish, we love - no matter that the dreams come to an end, the wishes evolve or that love dissipates like dust in the wind. Perhaps, what matters only is that we have lived long enough to dream, hard enough to wish and indisputably enough to love. One of Maria's early memories growing up in Dhaka is of planning to run away with her friend Nadia. Even then, Maria couldn't quite figure out why she longed to escape. It is not that home is an unhappy place. It's just that in her family, joy is ephemeral. With a mother who yearns for the mountains, the solitude and freedom to pursue her own dreams and career, and a charismatic but distant father who finds it difficult to expresses emotion, they are never able to hold on to happiness for very long. Maria studies the Holy Book, says her daily prayers and wonders if God is watching her. She dreams, like her mother, of unstitching the seam of her life. It is her neighbour, Bablu, the Imitator of Frogs, who both excites and repulses Maria by showing her a yellowing pornographic magazine, but it is Mala, a girl her own age who comes to work in their house, whose wise eyes and wicked smile makes her dizzy with longing. When she moves to New England for university at eighteen Maria meets Yameen, a man who lives in a desperately squalid apartment in Jersey City, woos her with phone calls and a marathon night of drinking in New York bars, and is not what he seems... From Dhaka to New York, this is a candid and moving account of growing up and growing away, a meditation on why people leave their homes and why they sometimes find it difficult to return. "Beloved Strangers" is an unforgettable memoir marking the arrival of a brilliant new voice from Bangladesh.

Genres: Memoir, Bangladesh, Nonfiction, Adult

208 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 16, 2014

Reviews

[Dlmrose · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

From the title’s oxymoron onwards, it is clear that Maria Chaudhuri’s memoir will be built around contradictions. Islam versus Christianity is a background note, but the major theme is East versus West — specifically, Chaudhuri’s native Bangladesh set against America, where she attended university and later lived and worked. Religion, sexuality, dreams and second chances at love are all facets of the author’s search for a sense of home and family in a life of shifting loyalties.

(Full review to appear in October 2015 issue of Wasafiri literary magazine.)

[Cynthia · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was an ok book not a great book. Some parts were very long and sometimes i didnt get things. This is a one time read for me

[Irene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't like this as much as I thought I would --it was on a table at the library featuring stories of immigrants, and although it provided an interesting look at growing up in Dhaka, Bangladesh, this was much more about the author's personal experiences (and in some ways TMI about her sex life) and not very much at all about her experience of being an immigrant in America. The title refers to her feeling like she never really knew her father on a deeply personal level, not about making new friends.

[Geeta Ramani · Rating 2 out of 5]

Beloved Strangers by Maria Chaudhuri, left me totally confused. Initially, I was able to relate to her childhood where she was raised by orthodox parents. But throughout, I was unable to connect to her responses. To me, she comes across as immature and reckless. It is not the kind of memoir I enjoy reading.

[Madalena Villa de Brito · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful memoir full of contrasts lived by the author marked by the relationship with her family with a focus on her mother, and the physical place where she lives in (Bangladesh and later on the USA). As a child growing up in a religious household with not much space for doubts and concerns, those seem to come up at a later stage in life when physical independence from the family happens.

[Anya · Rating 4 out of 5]

We love a speedy summertime read. Maria's writing style grew on me, particularly when she transports us to her ancestral homeland. The lack of linearity feels like a natural illumination of her memories and how they tie in to her present.

[Jahkwaun · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very beautifully written memoir

[Abu Rayhan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Assalamualaikum. Please, can we talk? Actually, I am book promotion expert, and i am from Bangladesh, so we want to talking about your book

[Charles Weinblatt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maria Chaudhuri was born and raised in Bangladesh. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy and Religion from Mount Holyoke College, Massachusetts, and an MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College, Vermont. Her essays, features and short stories have been published in various collections, journals and literary magazines. She lives in Hong Kong.

Reviewed by Charles S. Weinblatt

“And it is only now that I see the martyr I have become, setting myself up for sacrifice again and again, at the altar of music, of dance, of love? If I never could hold onto love, or the things I loved, it was only because I was too impatient to snatch at what I thought I needed, too keen to create for myself the ideal scenario. The sweetness of the experience eluded me because I was too busy apprehending its outcome.”

Among Maria Chaudhuri’s childhood memories growing up in Dhaka, Bangladesh was planning to run away with her friend, Nadia. Happiness in her childhood home was a fleeting experience. Her parents’ unrewarding marriage hung like a pall over the children. Maria’s mother longed for stardom as a vocalist, often shutting herself away in privacy to sing. Her father was distant, unemotional and condescending.

Maria’s childhood is an endless repetition of prayer and faith, consistently lacking redemption. When her father lost his job, the family drifted farther apart. The beautiful home they planned to live in was rented to strangers. The dearth of emotion which had simmered for years burst into anger and resentment, later into depression. Throughout, Maria senses the pull of a future long embraced but without form or function. In an effort to escape, Maria pursues her university life in America.

Beloved Strangers is a classic memoir of why children leave home and why they often experience difficulty returning. It’s a dramatic study in relationships desired but unfulfilled, love that remains distant and unproductive sacrifice. Maria seems to bounce from one relationship into another without emotional reward. She lays upon the platform of hope a future unimagined, affection unreturned and happiness undiscovered. Maria’s past is a catalog of passion unspoken and undone within a family that yields little support or hope. That she comes to recognize her potential is to her credit.

Maria Chaudhuri is an evocative and expressive writer, well adapted to the use of metaphor and drama. While the story itself is not very unusual, to her credit, the writing is memorable and enjoyable. Her concise use of dialog is an exercise in brevity, but it is no less effective for its concision. Her character development is superb. If anything would enhance the quality of this memoir, it would be pictures, maps or diagrams from her childhood.

Reviewer Charles S. Weinblatt is the author of Jacob’s Courage: A Holocaust Love Story, Lost & Found, Job Seeking Skills for Students and several other published books and articles. http://jacobscourage.wordpress.com/ http://cweinblatt.wordpress.com/

[Garryvivianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a young girl growing up in Dhaka in Bangladesh, Maria has always longed to leave, yet not really knowing why she felt she had to leave. Her mother had dreams of becoming a well known singer, famous, where everybody would know her. Her hard working father was not an affectionate man, the mother & father argued loudly at times. Maria wanted more, but sometimes families are NOT able to express emotions, they seem to not be able to stay happy. When her father loses his job, the family is thrown apart a little more.

A story of Maria growing up & actually leaving to New York, where she is still not truly happy, seems like there is always something missing. It is kind of sad, you want her to find something that she will like & be happy with. I believe in the end tho, she realizes that she DID have a good life growing up. Sometimes it takes a little growing up to see your life a little better.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Author Maria Chaudhuri's account of growing up in Bangladesh and her move to New York City as an adult. Certain segments of the book were interesting; for example, Chaudhuri's childhood in Bangladesh, the foods her family ate, the homes they lived in, the people they knew. Other parts of the book moved very slowly and failed to capture my interest - life in New York City and the romances she had while living there. Not the most engaging memoir I've read, although I enjoyed learning about the culture of Bangladesh.

[Jithin Mathew Thomas]

Another finding-your-roots tale. The only problem I had, was the author's style of writing, which was strikingly similar to Khalid Hossenini. In fact the plot itself is a tweaked reinterpretation of a thousand splendid suns. On the positive side, the characters instantly connect and so does the protagonist's milieu set out in two countries. Overall, it's an interesting read before sleep.

[Tracy · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting look at the role culture and country play in our lives, hopes and aspirations. Read the full review at OurBookClub.

[Vishnupriya Sharma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intense in pockets. Seems like a heavy editing has been done after first draft - either two people or same person over different times. Gives a peek on the culture and life in Bangladesh.

Appears as if the author seeks experience and not finality in the reflection.

[Seema Rajpal]

It is stated on the cover of this book that it helps us understand why we long to leave the comfort of our home and venture out into the unknown. Am not sure if I gained this insight when I came to the end. Irrespective of this, I enjoyed the book.

[Sun Pal]

The summary says that it helps you understand why youngsters want to leave their homes. AM not sure if I understood that through this book. Irrespective of this, I enjoyed it. There is something about this book.

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't get into this. I felt that the author was all over the place and I wasn't excited to pick it up and continue.

[Prairiesue · Rating 2 out of 5]

Social struggle for women (family vs. career) (family traditions vs. self-fulfillment) takes center stage in the author’s life journey.

[Beverly Hollandbeck · Rating 3 out of 5]

The beloved strangers of the title are the author's parents. She seems to believe that puzzlement about your parents is a unique experience. We know better than that, don't we?

[Roanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

A long, long, self indulgent lament. And then finally, finally she realizes... her mother is human.

[Nadia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really liked this book. The author’s language was just so enchanting to read, like they way she described things was so unique and pretty.

[Jam Stewart · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was pointless.