What do you do when your world seems to be falling down all around you? When loss is too much to bear? When disappointment becomes your new reality? Pastor Steve Carter is certain you’ll find hope and life through these three simple yet profound Grieve. Breathe. Receive. In 2018, in light of further misconduct allegations against Willow Creek Community Church founder and senior pastor Bill Hybels, Steve Carter announced publicly that he was resigning from his dream job as a lead pastor at that church. After posting his resignation online, he turned off all of his devices and began to weep on his wife's shoulder. The next morning as he was taking a walk to process all the thoughts and feelings tumbling around in his mind, he cried out to Jesus in desperation, begging for an answer. "What am I supposed to do now?" He expected nothing but the silence that had overwhelmed him since hitting send on his message to the world, but before he could take two steps, a gentle whisper impressed three words upon his Those three words would become a profound mantra for Steve in the season he would soon begin—a season focused on healing. Deep healing. The kind that comes after painful trauma. In this book, Steve is more personal and vulnerable than he's ever been, and by doing so he encourages all of us This process of grieving, breathing, and receiving was a life-restoring gift from God for Steve and his family, and he is certain that it will bless anyone who prayerfully follows it.
As a fellow pastor who has been deeply wounded by other pastors and leaders, I can’t think of anyone more uniquely qualified to write this book for this time. Steve has done the hard work to name, honor, process, and move through his own lived experiences and walks us through the inescapable grief that too often accompanies life.
Steve is a trustworthy guide who has traveled the way before us. He shares clearly and compassionately without minimizing our pain, directing us through it to count the cost of pursuing wholeness. In an unhurried way, Steve faithfully guides us on a path to accept our brokenness with grace and embrace our true identity as beloved.
If you’ve experienced a loss or grief of any kind (and who among us remains untouched?), allow this book to serve as a compassionate companion as you navigate your own journey toward healing and wholeness.
My mom was reading this book on our family trip & when I finished all I brought to read, I begged her to finish what she had so I could have something for the flight.
What followed is a book so incredibly raw, personal & woven with a perspective of Christian Counseling. Steve honors the process/waves of grief, using Jesus as a guidepost and his own personal experiences from the fall-out of Willow Creek Church in 2018.
Grieve Breathe Receive by Steve Carter may just be the best Christian non-fiction book for me that I have read so far this year. I'll be honest, I ordered this book and then I set it aside I got it. One day I picked it up and I could not put it down for two days until I finished it.
As the title suggests, this book is divided into three sections: Grieve, Breathe and Receive. Carter was at one time a leader at Willow Creek Community Church when he resigned after learning of the senior pastor's abuse. I remember when all of this happened in 2018 as we watched a service to see Bob Goff right about that time. In this book, Carter shares why he had to resign from Willow Creek church and how that decision left him and his family reeling for a long time. This book is about grieving from a variety of losses--loss of a job, loss of friends, health issues, and much more. He also shared that he lost a couple of family members in death not long afterwards too, so it also covers grieving the death of a loved one.
Grieve Breathe Receive is written in such a way that I just feel like Carter is having a conversation with me. It is almost like I can hear him saying these words. He shares personal stories and stories from the Bible. But the book really seems to come from his heart. I needed to see someone share in that way right now. I have been deconstructing and re-constructing my faith for the past few years. I have also been hurt by Christians close to me. Then I received a scary diagnosis and I had to grieve the life I used to have to deal with the illness. At that time, I took a look at my heart and soul, while still looking to God, not unlike Carter in this book. I could relate to so much of this book even though my issues were/are different.
At the end of each chapter are questions to ask yourself. I read this book quickly, but I want to go back through and journal some answers to those questions. I think this could be a good book to work through with a counselor or support group. It would also be good for a Christian book club. Lots to talk about and lots to learn in this book. I highly recommend it.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher through the Amazon Vine Program. All opinions within this review are my own.
Having had Steve as my pastor for a few years, this book broke my heart for the position he was placed in, and it also inspired me for how he faithfully followed God throughout. I already deeply respected Steve, and even more so now that I know what he was going through behind the scenes and the strength of his integrity.
The wisdom shared in this book is worth far more than the price tag, so if you have the means, this book is a must-read.
On 23 March, 2018, in front of what was ultimately likely by far the largest audience he has ever spoken in front of in his life, Steve Ryan Carter did both-sidesism to victims of clergy sexual abuse and institutional betrayal, saying "I will remind you what Bill [Hybels] has taught us, what Bill has taught me. And it is the power of the dual narrative. It is about listening to both sides. It’s about hearing. It is about respecting both."
To be perfectly clear, the two sides to which Mr. Carter was referring were 1. Still unrepentant lying sexual predator cleric Bill Hybels, and 2. The many women who for decades Hybels leveraged his clerical power to target, groom, sexually harass, sexually assault, then throw away and nearly destroy.
Inside the 200+ pages of Mr. Carter's new book, "Grieve Breathe Receive", he never once writes anything remotely akin to "As a high level power holder in an irredeemably toxic and abusive system, I participated in, perpetuated, and perpetrated institutional betrayal of victims of clergy sexual abuse."
Instead, for chapter after chapter after chapter, Mr. Carter portrays himself as victim and hero, sometimes by turns, and sometimes both simultaneously. The book reads like a man who claims to have spent the past five years going through a process of growth which has elevated him to a place where he can now lead others through the same process of growth. Sadly, this supposed growth took place while Mr. Carter was still fully ensconced in, with his livelihood fully dependent upon, the U.S. Evangelical Industrial Complex. This is clearly evidenced by Mr. Carter's recently standing on the stage of Arizona megachurch Mission Community Church and publicly describing that church as a "safe" place, when there's rather a lot of evidence to the contrary.
I cannot recommend Mr. Carter's new book, which springs from the pen and mind of a man who apparently remains blinded to both the profound danger and abuse within U.S. megachurches as well as to his own culpability within that system.
This book is fantastic. It is full of rich insights and inspiring stories pulled from the author's life as well as very profound and interesting ideas that helped me think of things in a new and fresh way. While it is a natural choice to gift to those who are experiencing loss or change, it is also a universal book that can meet each of us right where we are in our current circumstances. I highly recommend Grieve, Breathe, Receive to everyone, it is a great book!
When we experience loss, we too often short circuit healing by looking for the closest exit—the next escape. “It’s scary,” “I don’t know what to do,” or “It’s too painful to revisit things,” are the excuses we use. Grieve, Breathe, Receive is an invitation to a different tomorrow—to a real, redemptive, and refreshing future that is profoundly hopeful and incredibly human.
Steve goes through the grief process in a very enlightening way. The book is meant for someone who has experienced small or massive heartache and hurt. I believe that this book of great for someone who has experienced church hurt or mistrust of the church. Steve dives deep into his own story and talks about how to heal from a deep trauma.
I didn’t know how much I needed these words. It’s different than his other writings. This was so raw and vulnerable. I could feel so many moments that helped me make sense of my own loss, grief and change. A must read.
This is a rich resource for those who grieve, based on the Fri, Sat, and Sun of Jesus' death and resurrection. Filled with real-life, relevant stories that point the reader to an authentic, anchoring faith, not platitudes, when life gets ripped apart.
This book is a humble reflection on loss, grief & how to live. As I’m walking my own grief journey & wondering where God is in the midst of this grief, it’s been healing to walk in this author & pastor’s shoes of learning.
Each journey is different but the lessons are universal.
My church is currently reading this as a summer study. I love the way he relates things we go through back to the Bible, and the concept of Friday to Easter Sunday. It has helped a lot in my grief journey to read this.
Steve’s transparency and vulnerability make this a honest read. Coupled with his ability to draw you in with his words makes this book a must read. If you’re anywhere in a grieving process, do yourself a favor and read this book.
Steve’s words are a gift to us all. This book is an excellent read for anyone trying to truly walk through the hard parts of grief, trauma, and betrayal at any level.
Steve's personal story of how he navigated through many levels of loss in regards to the Willow Creek tragedy in 2018. Encouraging and good example of working through tough seasons of life.
A great way to process grief, reading and discussing this book together in community. I'm thankful for Steve's honesty and the range of emotions that he makes space for within these pages.
In his most recent book, Steve Carter writes about his decision to resign from his leadership position at Willow Creek Community Church. He details a three step process of grieving the loss, breathing in the gift of God’s grace and peace, and receiving the lessons God had for him in that season. I know several people who have read this book, and we agree that this framework is such a helpful way to walk through seasons of loss, grief and healing. This book would pair well with Jodi Grubbs’ book Live Slowly: A Gentle Invitation to Exhale.
This is the second book I have read by this author this year.
Words I’m remembering: “We run the race and become someone who embraces the possibility of hope.”