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The Secret Footballer #2
Tales from the Secret Footballer
FOOTBALL'S BIGGEST CHARACTERS TELL IT LIKE IT ISWho is the Secret Footballer? Well he's back and this time his mates speak out too.Players, agents, coaches and managers give you access to all areas of the Premier League. From deal-making to play-making, from dodgy tactics to drunken antics, they reveal the unforgettable highs and the unforgivable lows.This is football as you've never seen it before. 'What happens behind closed doors at Premiership clubs usually stays firmly shut behind closed doors. Not if the Secret Footballer has anything to do with it.' Loaded**From the bestselling author of I am the Secret Footballer and The Secret Footballer's Guide to the Modern Game.**
228 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 5, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
November 8, 2020
Not the strongest entry in The Secret Footballer series, it certainly feels like a follow up as the player probably wonders what subjects to tackle.
The majority of topics covered are pretty well known anyway, from transfer fees to players wages.
The amount of money swilling around the game can't be avoided, I personally think if anyone should see it then it should be the players themselves - so have no problem with the high wages as long as loyal supporters aren't been ripped off.
It's a job to them, of course they are going to sign lucrative contacts and have their own bills and mortgage to pay.
So I don't think TSF helps his cause by claiming fans are stupid when it comes to this issue, especially the lavish lifestyle they lead including perks of his stature in the game.
An antidote of how he managed to get VIP tickets for Tottenham's match in Milan is a perfect example. He boasts about who he bumped into during the evening and is gleeful having the best seats in the house, whilst the Spurs fans are 'up in the gods'.
That said the sections covering mental health are really interesting and it's important for players to open up, whilst they may seem (and say) the lifestyle is perfect it's important to remember that success and wealth doesn't equate to happiness.
The majority of topics covered are pretty well known anyway, from transfer fees to players wages.
The amount of money swilling around the game can't be avoided, I personally think if anyone should see it then it should be the players themselves - so have no problem with the high wages as long as loyal supporters aren't been ripped off.
It's a job to them, of course they are going to sign lucrative contacts and have their own bills and mortgage to pay.
So I don't think TSF helps his cause by claiming fans are stupid when it comes to this issue, especially the lavish lifestyle they lead including perks of his stature in the game.
An antidote of how he managed to get VIP tickets for Tottenham's match in Milan is a perfect example. He boasts about who he bumped into during the evening and is gleeful having the best seats in the house, whilst the Spurs fans are 'up in the gods'.
That said the sections covering mental health are really interesting and it's important for players to open up, whilst they may seem (and say) the lifestyle is perfect it's important to remember that success and wealth doesn't equate to happiness.
October 4, 2021
Kiedyś bardzo lubiłem takie historyjki z piłkarskiej szatni, teraz powoli zaczynają mnie nużyć. No bo ile można czytać o przygodach młodych milionerów w krótkich spodenkach, kopiących piłkę w Premiership?
Poza tym czuć, że Anonimowemu mniej więcej w połowie kończą się anegdotki, i zaczyna zamulać coś o kursach trenerskich, budowaniu drużyny, czy inwestowaniu pieniędzy i niby to ciekawe, ale jakoś tak po łebkach potraktowane.
Książkę ratują dwie rzeczy: dobre pióro Anonimowego (lub jego redaktora) oraz ostatni, osobisty rozdział o rodzinie i depresji. Czy warto? Audiobook trwał pięć godzin z hakiem (papier 248 stron) i jeśli potrzebujecie zapchać uszy czymś niezobowiązującym, to nie tyle warto, co można. 5/10.
Poza tym czuć, że Anonimowemu mniej więcej w połowie kończą się anegdotki, i zaczyna zamulać coś o kursach trenerskich, budowaniu drużyny, czy inwestowaniu pieniędzy i niby to ciekawe, ale jakoś tak po łebkach potraktowane.
Książkę ratują dwie rzeczy: dobre pióro Anonimowego (lub jego redaktora) oraz ostatni, osobisty rozdział o rodzinie i depresji. Czy warto? Audiobook trwał pięć godzin z hakiem (papier 248 stron) i jeśli potrzebujecie zapchać uszy czymś niezobowiązującym, to nie tyle warto, co można. 5/10.
April 20, 2020
Not as good as the first book, to be fair the secret footballer (I think I know who it is)sounds like a bit of a arrogant prick. There is much better football autobiography’s out there, they tell better stories and don’t have to hide behind a secret name.
June 25, 2018
When The Secret Footballler came along, he plugged a real gap in the market for warts and all opinions from inside the world of football. His columns were often fantastic and timely polemics on the state of the game, and those within it. At other times, they were deeply personal accounts of his own troubling experiences.
The problem is that this brand of revelations and insight really do work better in that newspaper column format – where there is a sense of newsworthiness about the subject matter, and a strict word limit reigning in some of the more excessive and tedious tales.
Loosely speaking, the book is divided into three parts, the first dealing with his lifestyle, the second his plans for after he retires, and the third, his reflections on his mental health and family.
It’s marketed as TSF sharing other’s stories from within the game, but in reality this boils down to little more than drunk lads doing stupid things (crashing yachts, getting booted out of nightclubs) and TSF using his platform to settle old scores (with former chairman, former teammates, former clubs).
There’s a fairly pointless introduction from TSF’s wife that really should have been expanded on, and some utterly baffling chapters, including one on physics that references Schrodinger’s cat, that any decent editor surely would have cut.
The chapter on his experiences with drugs, an amusing encounter with Fabio Capello at the San Siro, and some of the more personal sections on his battle with depression offer interest, but these are the exceptions. The rest is just dull. Vacuous and dull.
Now TSF’s identity has been revealed – I won’t post it here, but a simple Internet search will unmask him – there is, I’ll admit, a certain amount of fun in working out who all the characters he describes here are. But it’s not enough to warrant picking up a copy.
The problem is that this brand of revelations and insight really do work better in that newspaper column format – where there is a sense of newsworthiness about the subject matter, and a strict word limit reigning in some of the more excessive and tedious tales.
Loosely speaking, the book is divided into three parts, the first dealing with his lifestyle, the second his plans for after he retires, and the third, his reflections on his mental health and family.
It’s marketed as TSF sharing other’s stories from within the game, but in reality this boils down to little more than drunk lads doing stupid things (crashing yachts, getting booted out of nightclubs) and TSF using his platform to settle old scores (with former chairman, former teammates, former clubs).
There’s a fairly pointless introduction from TSF’s wife that really should have been expanded on, and some utterly baffling chapters, including one on physics that references Schrodinger’s cat, that any decent editor surely would have cut.
The chapter on his experiences with drugs, an amusing encounter with Fabio Capello at the San Siro, and some of the more personal sections on his battle with depression offer interest, but these are the exceptions. The rest is just dull. Vacuous and dull.
Now TSF’s identity has been revealed – I won’t post it here, but a simple Internet search will unmask him – there is, I’ll admit, a certain amount of fun in working out who all the characters he describes here are. But it’s not enough to warrant picking up a copy.
June 9, 2015
Après m'être procuré le premier tome que j’ai littéralement dévoré (5/5), je me devais de prendre le deuxième tome.
Comme le premier tome, je l'ai dévoré. J'ai adoré me replonger dans l'envers du décor du football.
Petit bémol cependant, j'ai trouvé que dans ce tome le joueur semblait plus "arrogant" que dans le premier, et les passages « scientifiques » m'ont vraiment ennuyé, d'où le 4/5.
Comme le premier tome, je l'ai dévoré. J'ai adoré me replonger dans l'envers du décor du football.
Petit bémol cependant, j'ai trouvé que dans ce tome le joueur semblait plus "arrogant" que dans le premier, et les passages « scientifiques » m'ont vraiment ennuyé, d'où le 4/5.
March 28, 2015
Nothing outside the box. For someone who appreciates football, this book is just a standard analysation of everything we already know about football, featuring some extra Barcelona suck up. An ex Man United player wrote this book, without a doubt.
February 1, 2015
Utter rubbish written by a self centred idiot do not bother reading this
November 19, 2025
My second go at a Secret Footballer book but, where the first one had its moments despite being overall nothing to write home about, this is an even more pedestrian affair. The title gives you a clue of what is to come, a book with no real purpose, just a scattergun approach to "tales" about this and that, presumably designed to milk a bit more moolah out of the gimmick before it had ran its course.
At best some of the anecdotes fall into "had to be there" territory (Paul Gascoigne arriving to training in fishing clothes probably would have been an amusingly incongruous sight if you were there but just describing it isn't inherently funny) with others devoid of any interest to anybody not involved in them. A chapter is taken up with a story about a yacht that goes nowhere whatsoever (although we do get a name this time - Jones) and his editor surely should've stepped in once TSF decided to include golf stories. Nobody cares, Dave. More than once I was anticipating "needless to say, I had the last laugh" but he wasn't quite self-aware enough.
Entire conversations are relayed verbatim, making me question the authenticity of a lot of what's in here. How are you remembering an extended monologue by an agent in a restaurant where you've both been drinking word for word? Putting "mate" in every here and there doesn't make it seem any more likely. After all, seeing as virtually no names are used, can you really trust that all of this even happened? "My friend the agent", "my friend who played in the Old Firm derby" and the like are a bit too close to "trust me, bro" to be fully credible. We know who the Secret Footballer is, of course, so you can read it with Wikipedia open and try to parse who certain people are but it's a hell of a lot of effort to go through to figure out which manager he didn't like, especially when ordinary football autobiographies are crammed with similar petty grudge settling where names are named. The purpose of the initial premise was to lift the veil of secrecy on professional football but there's a lot here that could easily have been saved for the inevitable "it was me all the time" autobiography this is surely due in the next few years.
I see books like this as a palette cleanser and certainly don't expect any great intellectual insights from them. Indeed, injecting intellectualising into these sort of books tends to make them worse, so when miladdo diverges into quantum mechanics and Anne Sexton it all becomes rather tedious, like the pub bore launching into yet another monologue about the Kennedy assassination at no one in particular. Pat Nevin's been running the smart footballer shtick into the ground for years, we really don't need another pretender, especially when the relevance of his interests is often at best limited. The Schrödinger's cat/racism in football bit is particularly worthy of Pseud's corner, although this book does come from the time when his newspaper the Guardian was hailing Joey Barton no less as a great intellectual for his ability to search BrainyQuote.
Overall, a potboiler of a book from an idea that wasn't nearly as explosive it was claimed to be in the first place. Not for me, I reckon I'll end my investigations into the works of the Secret Footballer with this one.
At best some of the anecdotes fall into "had to be there" territory (Paul Gascoigne arriving to training in fishing clothes probably would have been an amusingly incongruous sight if you were there but just describing it isn't inherently funny) with others devoid of any interest to anybody not involved in them. A chapter is taken up with a story about a yacht that goes nowhere whatsoever (although we do get a name this time - Jones) and his editor surely should've stepped in once TSF decided to include golf stories. Nobody cares, Dave. More than once I was anticipating "needless to say, I had the last laugh" but he wasn't quite self-aware enough.
Entire conversations are relayed verbatim, making me question the authenticity of a lot of what's in here. How are you remembering an extended monologue by an agent in a restaurant where you've both been drinking word for word? Putting "mate" in every here and there doesn't make it seem any more likely. After all, seeing as virtually no names are used, can you really trust that all of this even happened? "My friend the agent", "my friend who played in the Old Firm derby" and the like are a bit too close to "trust me, bro" to be fully credible. We know who the Secret Footballer is, of course, so you can read it with Wikipedia open and try to parse who certain people are but it's a hell of a lot of effort to go through to figure out which manager he didn't like, especially when ordinary football autobiographies are crammed with similar petty grudge settling where names are named. The purpose of the initial premise was to lift the veil of secrecy on professional football but there's a lot here that could easily have been saved for the inevitable "it was me all the time" autobiography this is surely due in the next few years.
I see books like this as a palette cleanser and certainly don't expect any great intellectual insights from them. Indeed, injecting intellectualising into these sort of books tends to make them worse, so when miladdo diverges into quantum mechanics and Anne Sexton it all becomes rather tedious, like the pub bore launching into yet another monologue about the Kennedy assassination at no one in particular. Pat Nevin's been running the smart footballer shtick into the ground for years, we really don't need another pretender, especially when the relevance of his interests is often at best limited. The Schrödinger's cat/racism in football bit is particularly worthy of Pseud's corner, although this book does come from the time when his newspaper the Guardian was hailing Joey Barton no less as a great intellectual for his ability to search BrainyQuote.
Overall, a potboiler of a book from an idea that wasn't nearly as explosive it was claimed to be in the first place. Not for me, I reckon I'll end my investigations into the works of the Secret Footballer with this one.
January 16, 2024
Diving into "Tales from the Secret Footballer" by The Secret Footballer, I couldn't help but feel disappointed by what seemed to be a haphazard collection of anecdotes that lacked coherence and substance. The book, rather than providing insightful revelations about the inner workings of professional football, often came across as a disjointed assortment of gossip and unverified tales.
The Secret Footballer's attempt at anonymity, while intriguing at first, quickly becomes a gimmick that detracts from the credibility of the stories presented. The lack of concrete details and verifiable information leaves readers questioning the authenticity of the anecdotes, making it difficult to distinguish between genuine insights and potentially embellished accounts.
Moreover, the writing style adopted by The Secret Footballer often feels more sensationalist than informative. The constant emphasis on scandalous details and controversial incidents overshadows any genuine reflections on the challenges and intricacies of a footballer's life. This approach not only undermines the potential for meaningful storytelling but also reduces the book to a tabloid-like compilation of sensational narratives.
The absence of a coherent narrative structure further compounds the book's shortcomings. The lack of a discernible theme or chronological order makes it challenging for readers to follow a cohesive storyline or gain a comprehensive understanding of the author's experiences.
In conclusion, "Tales from the Secret Footballer" falls short of expectations, failing to deliver the insightful and thought-provoking content one might anticipate from a book promising a glimpse into the hidden world of professional football. The lack of transparency and the reliance on sensationalism over substance ultimately make this book a disappointing read for those seeking a genuine and informative perspective on the sport.
The Secret Footballer's attempt at anonymity, while intriguing at first, quickly becomes a gimmick that detracts from the credibility of the stories presented. The lack of concrete details and verifiable information leaves readers questioning the authenticity of the anecdotes, making it difficult to distinguish between genuine insights and potentially embellished accounts.
Moreover, the writing style adopted by The Secret Footballer often feels more sensationalist than informative. The constant emphasis on scandalous details and controversial incidents overshadows any genuine reflections on the challenges and intricacies of a footballer's life. This approach not only undermines the potential for meaningful storytelling but also reduces the book to a tabloid-like compilation of sensational narratives.
The absence of a coherent narrative structure further compounds the book's shortcomings. The lack of a discernible theme or chronological order makes it challenging for readers to follow a cohesive storyline or gain a comprehensive understanding of the author's experiences.
In conclusion, "Tales from the Secret Footballer" falls short of expectations, failing to deliver the insightful and thought-provoking content one might anticipate from a book promising a glimpse into the hidden world of professional football. The lack of transparency and the reliance on sensationalism over substance ultimately make this book a disappointing read for those seeking a genuine and informative perspective on the sport.
January 9, 2019
The second in the series from The Secret Footballer, the high spots of this book, as well as the usual anecdotal tales of high jinx, are his take on where technology and football could converge, particularly in spotting talent, giving real time coaching and in injury prevention and treatment; the inner dealings of the business side of football - there's a lot more to a transfer than just the fee, the signing on sum and the wages; and a lot more insight into his struggles with mental health.
These parts, especially the latter one, take us to places you never think a "football" book will take you - but still the question remains - is this really the work of a slightly cynical footballer, or a synthesis of ideas put together by a clever journalist?
Who knows - but it's still an interesting enough read for any sports fan, so I'll be picking up the next in the series very soon!
These parts, especially the latter one, take us to places you never think a "football" book will take you - but still the question remains - is this really the work of a slightly cynical footballer, or a synthesis of ideas put together by a clever journalist?
Who knows - but it's still an interesting enough read for any sports fan, so I'll be picking up the next in the series very soon!
July 15, 2018
With the World Cup finals drawing to a conclusion it seemed quite apt that I was reading a renowned book that offered a behind the scenes insight into the world of professional football. The 'secrecy' and claims to that effect could have been a fantastic opportunity to open the lid of what goes on in the most lucrative sport on the planet but unfortunately for me didn't quite cut the mustard, or the proverbial 'blasted over the bar' chance. Admittedly this is the second installment which is always a risk, but it seemed like it was written as an anonymous biography, and a poor one at that, rather than a expose!
It's got enough going on to finish it but not a great deal more!
It's got enough going on to finish it but not a great deal more!
August 10, 2021
Vaguely interesting, but Jesus Christ someone edit it down. Many of the stories were littered with unnecessary detail (e.g. struggling to pot balls on a golf course, to losing a trouser button at a funeral)- I can only assume TSF had a massive word count breathing down his neck.
On a side note, I think it's probably a good thing the TSF didn't become a household name during his footballing lifetime. He comes across as an egotistical saddo. And quite frankly, we have enough of those people in the public arena.... #beckham
Get the book out of the library if you are curious, but defo don't buy it.
On a side note, I think it's probably a good thing the TSF didn't become a household name during his footballing lifetime. He comes across as an egotistical saddo. And quite frankly, we have enough of those people in the public arena.... #beckham
Get the book out of the library if you are curious, but defo don't buy it.
April 13, 2018
Once again the story is not very cohesive but it can still make for an interesting read. The Secret Footballer has hired good editors and book never gets boring. Although some stories smell of bragging, the other are often very insightful. Manily the chapters on depression, which are extraordinary and add another dimension to the whole story of an intelligent footballer that opened the door we were not able to see through.
April 24, 2020
The first book was ok, with the odd interesting thing about behind-the-scenes football. I ended it not really liking the guy as he sounded pretty awful. All I can say is this book was much worse - less about football, and more about his personal views on society. He clearly writes for the Guardian for a reason... I intensely disliked him by the end - pretentious, patronising, and some of the antics he did sound awful - e.g kicking sand into holidaymakers’ faces. Bad book, terrible author.
August 7, 2018
As with the previous book of his I've read - a fun, illuminating peek behind the curtain of being a professional footballer in the Premier League. I especially liked the story at the end of the book about his kid starting to play.
January 17, 2020
A bit of fun. His candid honesty as regards, which are at times, quite dark and personal aspects of his life is very refreshing and insightful. A number of genuine laugh out loud stories from the inside of the dressing room to boot.
November 18, 2021
One time read, his account on apps being able to assess a player's health was phenomenal. Interesting read, amusing at times, though I am not too hung up on it.
Did a bit of google search, it seems TSF is Dave Kitson, can't corroborate due to my lack of knowledge about English footballers.
Did a bit of google search, it seems TSF is Dave Kitson, can't corroborate due to my lack of knowledge about English footballers.
July 15, 2019
Reasonable little book. A bit dated in places but some humour too . A quick read if you are interested in football.
May 4, 2020
Follow-up cash-in with bantz and anecdotes. It's rumoured that TSF is Dave Kitson, who has very questionable views on black people.
September 7, 2020
Another great read from the secret footballer, wasnt as good as the 1st one but still a cracking read
September 3, 2021
Interesting to see a little bit of a world I know nothing about, but could do with assuming less knowledge on the part of the reader. Hard to follow in places as it's not chronological.
June 28, 2022
An okay insight. Reckon it's Dave Kitson.
September 20, 2023
An interesting look behind the scenes. Not quite as revelatory as the first book
July 8, 2014
Who is the secret footballer? Well that is a question on many peoples lip in fact only a handful of people know his identity although in his latest book "Tales from the secret footballer" he drops plenty of clues for the reader to uncover the identity of TSF.
The book is frank look inside the mind of a professional footballer, and the issues of the modern game, the book also focuses on the possible different career paths a player can take after his playing days are over .TSF uses some of his friends to help him discuss the big issues of the game.
If you haven't already read "I am the secret footballer" I urge you too then read this book but be aware disregard everything you think you know about professional footballers.
The book is frank look inside the mind of a professional footballer, and the issues of the modern game, the book also focuses on the possible different career paths a player can take after his playing days are over .TSF uses some of his friends to help him discuss the big issues of the game.
If you haven't already read "I am the secret footballer" I urge you too then read this book but be aware disregard everything you think you know about professional footballers.
June 16, 2015
I'd heard a lot about The Secret Footballer, but never actually read anything by him. So I thought seeing this cheap, it was worth dipping my toe into the water. It turned out to be very tepid, and neither a jolt to the system or comforting.
I found the secret element annoying after a few pages. I get it, you can't reveal who you are for fear of repercussions, but I have the ability to retain that information for more than two pages.
There are a few interesting insights into the world of football, but there's a lot of self congratulatory waffle in here too.
I was left a little disappointed ultimately.
I found the secret element annoying after a few pages. I get it, you can't reveal who you are for fear of repercussions, but I have the ability to retain that information for more than two pages.
There are a few interesting insights into the world of football, but there's a lot of self congratulatory waffle in here too.
I was left a little disappointed ultimately.
January 1, 2021
It's midly interesting to read a footballer who's not spouting the usual banalities, but in the end he doesn't reveal anything that I didn't suspect already. The writing is what you would expect from someone who's both untrained and not a happy man. That, and the combination of him playing for teams I don't care about, and him not being able to name names meant that I skipped whole chapters.
The above is the review I wrote for his first book, and it works here too. His books are pretty interchangeable to be honest. I only hope that it spawns a new genre and later on we'll get Rooney's or Terry's version of it...
The above is the review I wrote for his first book, and it works here too. His books are pretty interchangeable to be honest. I only hope that it spawns a new genre and later on we'll get Rooney's or Terry's version of it...
May 19, 2014
Fun little taste of life in the English Premier League (English Football). The concealing of the authors identity is part of the fun. The intelligence and depth of this individual is impressive since you mostly see only the physical and emotional characteristics of these professionals, I don't often consider much about the personal and business life of these types of celebrities.
Well written, insightful, entertaining and I hope the writer maintains anonymity so he doesn't loose his power to be honest.
Well written, insightful, entertaining and I hope the writer maintains anonymity so he doesn't loose his power to be honest.
January 18, 2014
Tales from the Secret Football (2013) is the follow up to the 2012 book I am the Secret Footballer. The book is a collection of newer columns from the writer about the inside world of football.
This time the book looks more at the author’s depression and options for an aging player to continue making money.
The book is not nearly as strong as the previous one. It’s not terrible and if you have read the first and enjoyed reading that it might be worth reading.
This time the book looks more at the author’s depression and options for an aging player to continue making money.
The book is not nearly as strong as the previous one. It’s not terrible and if you have read the first and enjoyed reading that it might be worth reading.
April 23, 2014
For anyone interested in the trials and tribulations behind the scenes of professional football.
As a lifelong football fan who had stumbled across previous articles written by The Secret Footballer, finding that a local bookstore in Canada had this in stock was a treat.
Having not read the first, it was no impediment to enjoying this book but furthered the thought that I should have purchased both this and the first book before now.
As a lifelong football fan who had stumbled across previous articles written by The Secret Footballer, finding that a local bookstore in Canada had this in stock was a treat.
Having not read the first, it was no impediment to enjoying this book but furthered the thought that I should have purchased both this and the first book before now.
August 4, 2014
Frankly, the biggest downside of this book is that it's written anonymously. Trying to keep the author's identity secret it gets a bit paranoid. It makes the book too general with all these 'a friend of my friend said'...
Although it's less about football than the first volume, it's a better read.
Although it's less about football than the first volume, it's a better read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews