The Shape of Normal: A Memoir of Motherhood, Disability and Embracing a Different Kind of Perfect

by Catherine Shields

★★★★★ “Brave and heartbreaking... will resonate with all parents.” Jen Pastiloff, author of On Being Human

As a young suburban mother in the early 1980s, Cathy had a loving husband, a sweet toddler, and a vision of life laid out before her. Pregnant for the second time, with twins, she imagined creating the warm, affectionate home she’d craved as a child. Her family would flourish, and she would be the calm, unflappable mother at its center.

But the universe had other plans.

The Shape of Normal explores Cathy's intense denial and devotion as she struggles to face the challenges of raising a girl with cognitive disabilities. Convinced her diagnosis can be undone with just the right amount of single-mindedness, she turns it into a dark prophecy. But she'll have to overcome adversity and learn the lesson of acceptance before realizing her daughter was never broken.

Cathy was never on a hero’s journey to save her child. She needed to save herself.

Genres: Memoir, Disability, Parenting, Medical, Family

226 pages, Paperback

Published November 21, 2023

About the author

Catherine (Cathy) Shields writes about parenting, disabilities, and self-discovery. In debut memoir, The Shape Of Normal, A Memoir Of Motherhood, Disability And Embracing A Different Kind Of Perfect, Cathy explores the truths and lies parents tell themselves. Her book was named a category WINNER in the 2023 American Writing Awards, and her writing has twice been nominated for a Pushcart. Her essays have been published in NBC Today. Newsweek, Bacopa Literary Review, Grown and Flown, Brevity Blog, Mother Magazine, U Revolution, and Write City Magazine. Cathy resides in Miami, Florida with her husband. They enjoy taking long bike rides and kayaking. Follow her on her Instagram @cathyshieldswriter..

Reviews

[Alia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Catherine Shields shares a deeply authentic and touching story of her journey navigating motherhood and family life while struggling with the complex emotions that surround the intellectual disability diagnosis of one of her three daughters. Her scenes create a collage of domestic life where birthday parties and trips to Disney World are punctuated by feelings a guilt, and inadequacy. Delving into her own childhood with an emotionally distant mother, she examines the ways in which society demands that women "fit in" and offers a beautiful reflection on what it means to be a mother when your experience is outside of the expected. This memoir is honest and vulnerable and entirely relatable.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I felt emotionally connected with Cathy and her story. Her transformative journey captivated me. I couldn’t put it down!

[Shelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful story! As the mother of a child with a disability, I can relate to her story. I applaud her for sharing her vulnerability with the world in regards to parenting a child with special needs. She shares her honest feels and emotional needs. Parenting twins and a singleton is not easy and then life through a curve ball. This is truly a story that should be shared with many. Teachers, doctors, therapists, and parents should read it. Learn about how parents feel.

[Andrea Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Shape of Normal
2 Stars 

This book definitely provoked a plethora of emotions in me, but not in a good way. The Shape of Normal includes information that are outdated and inaccurate medical information. This story takes place in the 80's. Can we agree? Medical practices have changed greatly since then. 

I'm not sure if it was intentional to make the protagonist so unlikable. I absolutely could not relate to this mother, she's a cruel, cold bitch. That's coming from someone that has experienced similar plights, and shared about 80% of this experience. All the great advice comes from: teachers, therapist, OT, PT and speech. Not from mom or dad. If anything, mom is a great example of what not to do. She never led with kindness, love and compassion. Here's a few examples. 

~She cringed at her child getting bilirubin treatment. 

~Doesn't want to accept help. It's a weakness. 

~She's pretentious and judges everyone 

~trying to stop painkillers "early" after major ABD surgery

 ~"I felt cheated, (by a c-section) because of my previous natural birth experience.( eye roll). 

~I have to breastfeed. 

During this time period, women perpetuated and participated in tearing down other women. This mother is a part of the problem. She doesn't have realistic parenting expectations. One can't supermum your way out of this difficult situation. To me, this is very much like a cycle of abuse. 

Overall, I wouldn't recommend reading this book. I had a hard time relating to this mother, and all the mis-information or medically inaccurate retelling. The first three chapters were the worst. I don't want to risk spreading false medical information, as a behavioral health nurse. 

*Please Note:

My initial problem with The Shape of Normal started with the downloadable format. I had issues getting it downloaded. This book doesn't have any accommodations for people with disabilities. It is not available in dark mode(or other options). I didn't find it comfortable trying to read the Times New Roman Time, 5-9 font. I included this in my review. I find it significant that this author hasn't changed her views on disabilities or this book would reflect the change. 

[Cheryl Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not generally a fan of memoirs, but Catherine Shields’ The Shape of Normal has made me into one! From the prologue, which is possibly the first prologue I’ve ever read that made me want to keep reading a book until the end, I had to force myself to put the book down to carry on with other activities. The book is about a lot more than raising a special needs child. It will strike chords with anyone who has experienced motherhood or nurturing of anyone. For those who never have, it will give you a glimpse into the many facets involved in doing so. Congratulations Cathy on a life well led and a book well written.

[Marlene Dunham · Rating 5 out of 5]

A courageous work and example for anyone raising a disabled child - or just any parent not confident in their parenting for that matter. We all second-guess ourselves and that's ok. You can really feel the conflict in this book as well as the healing.

[Amy Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Shape of Normal by Catherine Shields is a fiercely honest memoir of a mother struggling to accept her daughter’s disability. In the early 1980’s Shields, already a mother to a toddler, discovers that she is pregnant with twins. The life that Shields imagines for her family is taken away when Jessica - one of the twins - is diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Shields is convinced that her daughter's diagnosis can be undone and explores her feelings and actions around this with complete candour. Set in the 1980’s there is some use of stigmatising language which can be quite uncomfortable to read, thankfully a lot has changed since then.

I found Shields' honesty heartbreaking and at times shocking, the decisions she makes for her daughter are unimaginable and I am grateful to her for sharing the whole story. I think that parents of children with a disability will find this book refreshingly relatable.

I received a free copy of this book and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Sara Hosey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cathy Shields’ The Shape of Normal is a compelling, important memoir about motherhood and disability that interrogates expectations around parenthood, as well as challenges a larger culture that pays lip service to valuing all people and experiences and yet consistently marginalizes and ignores so many voices. This is an important, authentic, and honest story that I will be thinking about for a long time.

[Racheal Chitondwe · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Shape Of Normal is a memoir written by Catherine Shields. Affectionately known as Cathy, she is a retired early childhood teacher, the memoir talks about her struggles and challenges as a first time mother to twins and a disabled child.

Cathy was at her first ultra sound when the nurse gave her a shocking revelation. She would be having twins! Her reaction however was not that of a jubilant mother but that of mixed reactions. She was neither happy nor sad. It was more of a fear of the unknown that lingered through her and the fear of another complicated pregnancy.

At 30years old, she had been taking clomid, a fertility drug so she could conceive again. The doctor warned her about the possibility of twins. She was to expect the unexpected but she was not ready to accept the unexpected. All she wanted was ‘’one more baby’’.

Just a week earlier her husband Fred affectionately known as Chip told her she looked different this time around from when she had Alia and that they might be having twins. She got mad and vehemently denied it saying she could only handle ‘’one baby at a time.’’

Her pregnancy with Alia, her first daughter had been a complicated one in which little Alia was born at ‘’39 weeks and weighed just under five pounds’’. To be pregnant at that stage and having twins ‘’increased the risk two folds’’

Cathy came out to see her mother whom she thought was getting ‘’antsy’’ since the ultra sound took so long. In this moment, she imagined her mother enveloping her in her arms though she knew she would not. Over the years, she learned to accept her mother’s parenting style but often wondered if there was something wrong with her.

‘’Mom I found out I’m having twins’’ she told her.

[She pinched her brows together and stared unblinking, an expression that made me think of the Wicked Witch of the West. It reminded me of the many times I had come home from school crying as a seven-year-old child, wet pants plastered to my legs, my shoes and socks soggy. I was too intimidated to explain to my mother the fear of raising my hand to ask the teacher permission to use the bathroom… Why couldn’t my mother at least act supportive?]

Now her eyes filled with tears, as she was too intimidated to explain to her mother the fear of raising twins. In addition to possibly having another complicated pregnancy. This was one of the many instances that trained Cathy not to ask for help when she needed it. It was because of her mother’s sink or swim-parenting style that made her resent having to ask for help, love and support for fear of being judged and considered weak.

The twins finally arrived and she delivered through C-section, which was something she had come to resent. She thought she was in some way being deprived to the rights of passage of motherhood, a token or badge of honour that came with pushing the babies out than having your belly cut open. In her own words she wanted to ‘’join the exclusive sisterhood of warrior women who labored and delivered.’’

The twins were born with complications, which were a cause for concern and alarm. Twin A had an irregular heart rate while Twin B had high bilirubin levels. However these problems cleared up, Cathy and her babies were discharged and she went home to ‘’The grandparent brigade’’ eager to help and welcome the new arrivals.

They say babies in the womb feel their mother’s every emotion. Did the twins perhaps feel the sting of rejection before they even came into this world? Knowing that their mother did not want them as a pair and may have decided to leave as a pair? They must have both felt whatever their mother felt in that moment, overwhelming confusion, fear that led to rejecting the possibility of a twin pregnancy. From a critical point of view, it almost feels as if the twins, in their own way were now rejecting their mother as they were rejected in the womb, because of the rejection they were unwilling to meet a reluctant and unsure mother.

They needed and yearned for the same ‘’enveloping’’ that Cathy yearned for from her own mother and the security and warmth that came from having a mother. At their births, both twins had complications that threatened their lives; though they were born, they must not have wanted to be a burden on their mother who had not planned for twins. For Cathy not being able to adjust to the twins was like rejection and the twins not adjusting to Cathy and always being fussy was like rejection. A double-edged sword that made for a turbulent few weeks that left her exhausted.

Rejection was an emotion she felt all too well from her mother whom she felt was never accepting of her. Though we know all mothers love their children unconditionally, how much had she accepted them and how much had the twins accepted her? It was almost as if the twins would be sacrificing themselves for the other to live but since they came in as a pair they would have had to leave as a pair since their mother only wanted ‘’one more baby.’’

The twins were six months old when Cathy’s father in law mentioned that there was something wrong with Jessica. At six months Sarah was already doing things Jessica wasn’t like babble, sit up, reach for toys and could ‘’eat cut up fruit while Jessica gagged on anything not pureed’’.

Though there was lots of evidences and signs that something may have been wrong, Cathy went through a lot of denial with the help of Dr Kent before it was finally confirmed through a series of tests that she wasn’t quite ‘’normal’’. Before giving up on Jessica Cathy was determined to make her normal even though it was confirmed Jessica had cerebral palsy, a brain injury. In the same way, she wanted to be like all the other mothers she envied or looked up to, was also the same way she wanted Jessica to be just like any other normal child.

Determined she sent her to paediatric rehabilitation facilities but no real or substantial change took place in Jessica. It would be a while before she finally accepts Jessica for who she was, that one child that would never grow up. Makes it quite ironic because usually parents do not want to let go of their children. Often wishing they would not grow up so fast yet here was Jessica. Practically stuck in an ever-growing adult body, never to go to college like her sister, move out, and get married. She desperately wanted to be relieved of her parental duties at some point and not have to worry about little Jessica.

If one takes anything away at all from this memoir. It is how Catherine, mirrored her own mother in a sense. Catherine’s mother parented in such a way that made Cathy think she had a defect, something that was wrong with her that pushed her mother away from giving her the affection she so yearned for. And yet here she was, so hell bent on fixing Jessica that often times she felt she neglected Sarah.

In all the time she took Jessica to places she thought would ‘’fix’’ her she bonded with many mothers who like her were desperately trying to fix their children. Or were at least trying to give them a shot at a normal life as much as possible. It was through meeting Nolan’s mother, seeing how she treated her own child despite the difficult circumstances that she realised that while she was on a quest to fix Jessica, it was truly her that was on a journey to being fixed from the inside out.

She was in a place of healing from impostor syndrome, of not feeling good enough, of trying to feel whole and enough in her mother’s eyes and her own. Her own brokenness which was afflicted on her by her mother made her fail to see that she was in a certain sense repeating history where one of the twins if not both would also be asking themselves if something was wrong with themselves as individuals. Also to be taken as lesson in parenting is to learning not to project our fears or past traumas on our children, it can be said that Cathy’s childhood affected Jessica’s to a certain extent.

Catherine was judgemental like her mother and she wondered if she was just as cold. She constantly compared herself to the women in her family and wanted so desperately to live up to the standard that she believed was the epitome of motherhood. The ‘’superwoman I can do it all’’ attitude.

She decided to do most things alone when she could have asked for Chips help. She was determined to fix Jessica when she was not broken. Jessica became a bundle of confusion instead of a bundle of joy for Catherine in some sense. Right from the start she wanted to run, she wanted perfection because of other’s influence and was determined to get it through Jessica so much so that it felt like failure when she didn’t get it. She felt she failed a lot of people she looked up to, her mother, daughter’s, and all the important women in her life. She always sought a ‘’seal of approval’’ from these women, a kind of nudge that conveyed that she was doing great. From this point of view, we can say she was a bit of a people pleaser even though she didn’t know it.

Fairly enjoyed this memoir, it takes us deep into the life of a mother looking back towards her own mother and the mothers before her for answers only she could answer about herself. One thing is certain, often parents think they are the ones that do all the teaching when in fact children teach valuable lessons as well.

[Deep Choudhary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Catherine Shields’ memoir, “The Shape of Normal,” offers a deeply personal and introspective look at the complexities of motherhood, particularly in the context of raising a child with cognitive disabilities. Set against the backdrop of the early 1980s, the narrative follows Cathy, a young mother who dreams of a perfect family life. With a loving husband and a sweet toddler, her expectations seem bright as she prepares for the arrival of twins. However, life takes a dramatic turn when she faces the challenges of her daughter’s diagnosis, leading her down a path of emotional turmoil and self-discovery.

Shields vividly captures Cathy’s struggle with denial and the overwhelming desire to “fix” her child, which reflects a common impulse among parents facing similar situations. This battle against her own fears and misconceptions forms the heart of the memoir. Cathy’s intense dedication to her daughter’s well-being often leads her into a dark place, where she grapples with the notion of normalcy and what it means for her family.

One of the memoir’s strengths is its honest portrayal of mental health challenges. Shields does not shy away from the realities of anxiety and depression that can accompany the experience of raising a child with disabilities. By sharing her experiences candidly, she highlights the emotional weight that many parents carry, effectively addressing the stigma surrounding these issues. This openness not only fosters empathy but also serves to destigmatize mental health struggles, inviting readers to engage with the complexities of these topics.
Cathy’s journey is one of personal evolution rather than heroism. As she confronts her fears, she learns valuable lessons about acceptance—not just of her daughter, but of herself as well. The realization that her child is not broken, and that their unique path is valid, becomes a transformative moment in her life. This theme of redefining normalcy resonates throughout the memoir, encouraging readers to embrace the beauty of differences and the various shapes that family can take.

Shields’ writing is both reflective and lyrical, drawing readers into her emotional landscape with vivid imagery and poignant insights. The memoir balances the weight of hardship with moments of joy and hope, creating a rich tapestry that reflects the reality of life as a mother navigating these challenges. Her ability to convey the nuances of her experiences makes the narrative relatable and impactful. In conclusion, “The Shape of Normal” is a compelling memoir that navigates the intricacies of motherhood, disability, and the journey toward acceptance. Catherine Shields offers a heartfelt exploration that resonates with anyone familiar with the struggles of parenting or the challenges of mental health. This memoir not only sheds light on the realities faced by many families but also celebrates the strength of love and the importance of embracing our unique paths. It is an essential read for parents, caregivers, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of these vital issues.

[Martha · Rating 5 out of 5]

My heart alternately broke and blossomed while reading Cathy’s Shields’ book about coming to terms with her daughter’s neurological disability.

The up-and-down nature of hope and despair — of wanting normal instead of different — strongly resonated with me. My aunt had Down syndrome, two of my husband’s relatives had significant developmental disabilities and members of my immediate and extended family have other neurodiverse conditions including autism and mental illness.

I recognized everything Cathy describes in her book. The stress on the entire family from trying to cope with a child who needs a lot more time, attention and services. The grief of wishing the child could have a “normal” life that includes a job, romance and independent living. And worst of all, the “I’m a bad mother” syndrome because everything didn’t turn out as planned, so it must be Mom’s fault. While the last is often self-imposed criticism, the feeling is made worse by society’s snippy response when children don’t behave in public as they should.

Despite the emotional roller coaster Cathy and her husband and three daughters had to take, however, her steadfastness in doing right by all of them held strong. What I loved most was the internal shift Cathy experienced that allowed her to not just accept her daughter’s uniqueness, but delight in her light.

[Kate Brandt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in an afternoon. Cathy Shields’ courageous memoir tells the true story of what it’s like to parent a special needs child and two other children by showing us the nitty gritty struggle, rather than resorting to platitudes or easy answer. In the best memoirs, the author interrogates themselves, and this is exactly what Shields does, spilling her feelings—even the taboo ones (why can’t my child be like all the others?) onto the page.

How many of us have seen parents of children with special needs and felt as if we’ve dodged a bullet, or silently the fates that our children were “normal” and well? The Shape of Normal gives us an inside look at what it’s like to parent a child who doesn’t follow the usual milestones and will require care throughout life. We get a close look at the stress of raising a special needs child alongside others, the guilt of never being able to do enough, the wrenching decisions to make.

What makes this book so compelling is its uncompromising honesty. Shields has no interest in presenting herself as a saint. Rather, she dives deep into the cauldron of emotions that come with her situation—feelings of inadequacy, self-pity, and rage. In the end, this is a story of self-reckoning. It was Shields’ willingness and openness to face herself and share her journey with her readers that kept me turning the pages.

[Ann Epstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holding On, Letting Go – I approached The Shape of Normal: A Memoir of Motherhood, Disability & Embracing a Different Kind of Perfect by Catherine Shields from four perspectives: a reader; a writer (see my Goodreads author page https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... a developmental psychologist specializing in early education; and a (grand)parent who wants those I love to get the best and be their best. Shields more than satisfied me on all those dimensions. Her memoir is an unstintingly honest, emotionally absorbing, and deeply personal narrative. It directly addresses the pros and cons of the educational, medical, and social-psychological systems designed to meet the needs of children with disabilities and their families. Above all, it invites readers to accompany Shields on her journey of discovery about her amazing daughter Jessica and, above all, herself. She doesn’t shy away from confronting the strains that having a child with disabilities places on a marriage and other siblings. Nor does she gloss over her own self-doubt, impatience, and anger. Shields hiked an uphill path, toting an image of what her child should be before letting go and accepting who she was. A good trekker, Shields faced each mile with better developed muscles and more inner strength. Then she wrote a perfect book.

[Kwan Lai · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Shape of Normal is a long, difficult, loving, patient, and heartbreaking journey of a mother torn between trying to attain normalcy for her daughter with cerebral palsy and accepting that she is special as she is. The author has the ability to bring the reader right into the middle of her struggles and involve him/her to help her come up with an acceptable and safe solution for her child. Still, it is difficult to imagine to be in her situation. I found myself constantly rooting for her as well as asking the question of what I would do under the circumstances without going crazy and letting things spin out of control. She has to juggle spending equal time with her other children while expanding her energy and intention on the child who needs her attention the most.
It tells us that there is no one right answer but in the struggles of growing together, one learns along the way and the child in question surprises us and comes out with words of wisdom beyond her disabilities. This is a human story that assures us when life throws us seemingly insurmountable and unimaginable obstacles along the way, we are able to rise above all that and come out on the other side wiser and ready to offer help to our fellow human beings.

[Jennifer Lang · Rating 5 out of 5]

At some point of The Shape of Normal, I didn't want to stop reading. What struck me the most is the narrator's interiority, her brutal honesty about parenting a daughter with a disability and parenting overall. When Cathy Shields and her husband discover they are having twins, it throws their lives into chaos. How, Cathy wondered, was she going to deal with two newborns and her older singleton? A couple of years later, when they learn one of the twins isn't developing normally and determine she has cerebral palsy, Cathy tries to will it away, to deny it as if it would disappear. It is years, in fact, before she accepts her daughter as she is. As their chaotic family life unfolds, Cathy admits to her weak parenting skills, her worrying nature, her low self-confidence, but rather than give up, she keeps knocking on different doors for help from a special ed teacher at one school to a therapist with a new technique to an alternative treatment for her daughter. Scenes of failed pinata birthday parties and uncontrolled bowel movements during dinner are plausible. Dialogue between mother and kids, husband and wife is hard. But all along, I kept rooting for her, for the daughter, for the family.  

[BK Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

When life didn’t match the happily-ever-after dream she envisioned—when one of her twin daughters was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and an intellectual disability—Catherine Shields resisted the truth. Even as she gradually absorbed the reality of Jessica’s diagnosis, she continued to deny the fact that some circumstances can’t be fixed. When, year after year her heartfelt and exhaustive efforts to help her daughter get “to the other side of normal” were unsuccessful, she experienced guilt and blamed what she perceived as her own mistakes. Overwhelmed by the weight of worry, stress, shame, responsibilities, and the need to balance Jessica’s care with that of her other two children, she felt powerless, depleted.
One needn’t be a parent of a child with a disability—or a parent at all—to be deeply moved by Shields’ quest. Anyone who’s forged ahead in the face of insurmountable odds will relate to her journey and her heartbreak. The Shape of Normal is, at heart, a lesson in resilience—a compelling and beautifully written story of Shields’ hard-won understanding that love doesn’t require perfection.

[stylelover · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the vulnerability this author shows throughout the book, admitting her perceived failures and struggles as a parent of a special-needs child. At times, I felt the narrator could've bled more on the page--I want a memoir to move me to tears--or at least almost to tears. I would've loved to see more of the mother's journey on a deeper level. That said, I think this book is beautifully written and very important because it is the kind of book that makes us feel less alone. The honesty with which this story is delivered and the sheer chaos through which the narrator/author persevered are commendable and powerful. I think this book is going to make a positive difference in the lives of many, and I am always grateful for books like this--books that do more than tell a story, books that crack open wounds and show the tenderest, most human places that so many choose to hide out of fear or denial.

[Casey Walsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

In The Shape of Normal, Catherine Shields compels us to keep turning pages as she lays out the story of her own desires for a happy, successful family and how at times she feels daunted at every turn (I don't know a mother who can't relate to this). At the same time, she gives readers a bird's-eye view into the emotional journey that ensues when a long-awaited child is diagnosed with a serious disability. Written in clear prose, Shields tells us her daughter's story woven through with her own struggles, resulting in a journey much like the lives we live--challenging and often circuitous, days of what feels like drudgery with little reward punctuated by moments of joy and insight. Honest and relatable, The Shape of Normal does what all good books should do--expands our compassion for others and for ourselves.

[Nellie Thorne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Shape of Normal doesn’t just recount a life, it opens a door into the raw, unfiltered terrain of motherhood, disability, and the quiet recalibrations of love. Catherine Shields writes with a clarity that cuts deep, exploring the truths and illusions parents carry, especially around what “normal” is supposed to look like.

There’s a tenderness in her voice that never slips into sentimentality. It’s grounded, honest, and deeply human. Shields invites us to witness not just her daughter’s journey, but her own reckoning with acceptance, identity, and the quiet heroism of showing up, imperfectly, but fully.

It’s no surprise this memoir was named a category winner in the American Writing Awards. It lingers long after the last page, asking us to rethink what it means to love without conditions, and to embrace the shape our lives take when we stop chasing perfection.

[Vickie Rubin · Rating 5 out of 5]

In "The Shape of Normal," Cathy Shields delivers a deeply moving and refreshingly honest memoir that captivated me from the very first page. Cathy’s honesty is admirable as she takes us through her family’s journey with unfiltered impressions and vivid character portrayals. As a mother of an adult daughter with a rare chromosome deletion, I found that Cathy and I shared many of the same experiences. I loved the frank and heartwarming portrayal of Cathy and Chip’s marriage and of Jessica and her sisters' bond. I found myself experiencing Cathy’s highs and lows with empathy and understanding.
Cathy is a candid storyteller, and her lovely Memoir, “The Shape of Normal,” portrays family dynamics, marriage, disability, and acceptance that will appeal to all readers—highly recommended.

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cathy Shields' THE SHAPE OF NORMAL is a heartfelt memoir navigating the intersection of motherhood and disability. With grace and candor, Shields shares her experience raising a child with disabilities and how doing so challenges her own expectations of motherhood. The narrative is a poignant exploration of love's transformative power, resilience, and the pursuit of a more inclusive definition of perfection. Shields' prose is both poignant and powerful, challenging societal norms and inviting readers to reconsider their own perspectives of normalcy. The memoir is an inspiring journey of acceptance that encourages a deeper understanding of diversity and the extraordinary beauty found in "embracing a different kind of perfect." I highly recommend this book for parents or memoir lovers.

[Elizabeth Bruce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Retired early childhood teacher Catherine Shields’ memoir of motherhood, THE SHAPE OF NORMAL: A MEMOIR OF MOTHERHOOD, DISABILITY & EMBRACING A DIFFERENT KIND OF PERFECT, invites the reader into an intensely personal and revelatory journey of mothering a beautiful child with development challenges. A chronicle of a parent both loving and learning from her differently abled child, THE SHAPE OF NORMAL will grip readers with this candor, intimacy, anguish, and resolve. A must read for readers who have walked similar paths as Sheilds, for they will immediately find solidary and solace. Indeed, readers from all paths in life will find in THE SHAPE OF NORMAL nuanced witness to the enduring power of love wrought from heartbreak and cultivated unconditionally.

[Chantel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t give this book 5 stars because I think it is a must read or life changing.. or even one that made think long after it was done. But because it was written from the heart and honest . This mom raised a special needs child in the 80s where there wasn’t the connections people can make now, research is hard to find. Where things were more doom and gloom. Where moms were much more isolated and thoughts and conversations about special needs kids were pretty horrid. She was very real in her thoughts and how long it took to come to acceptance— and not sure she ever really did . How she removed herself from other special needs parents. It glossed over some hard stuff I would have liked to hear more about (her relationship with her other daughters for example). And how her other daughters were impacted by it all in the long term.

[Maya · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5 stars,

Important memoir that focuses on parenting and motherhood of a child with disabilities. I think we often forget how much our society is inaccessible to those not considered "normal." As we grow up we're taught to aspire for the perfect life with the perfect spouse and perfect normally developmental children. Shields shares her account on how she had to navigate this new world she was never taught to live in. I would have enjoyed more analysis/reflection on how she coped and what advice she'd give to mother's in the future.

Thank you Booksirens and Shields for this advance review copy.

[Laura McHale Holland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir of a life experience many parents pray they'll never have unfolds so elegantly, it takes you through the author's heart wrenching experiences, struggles, low points and high points—all without causing you to lose your equilibrium. It ultimately shares how the author, Catherine Shields, reached a place of acceptance and grew in wisdom. The author is able to go into detail without getting drawn into whining or preaching. It is a gift that enables people to look into their own hearts and examine their own assumptions of what normal is. I received an advance copy of this memoir and am posting this review voluntarily.

[Eileen Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

With grace and vulnerability, Cathy Shields writes of her family thrown into chaos when one of their twin daughters is diagnosed with cerebral palsy. One of three daughters, Jessica’s needs consume the lion’s share of Cathy’s attention as she struggles to find the programs and services that will help her child achieve her full potential.

For quite some time, Cathy and her husband seem to be in denial, thinking Jessica is developmentally delayed and that with the proper help she will be able to attain a “normal” level of functioning.

The story is a beautiful tale of enduring love and acceptance as Cathy comes to understand that although Jessica will never be independent and “successful” like her sisters, she finds joy and fulfillment in her own way. In her own special way.

[Michele Dawson Haber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shields has written a riveting, raw, and authentic memoir about her experience of mothering a child with disabilities. Though we learn and grow throughout our lives, nothing teaches us more about life and our own selves more than motherhood. Following along with the author as she reassesses her biases and learns to accept her daughter is both satisfying and moving. This book is the perfect antidote to anyone looking for inspiration and strength to push back on societal expectations of "normal." Brava to the author!

[Liane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cathy Shields has written a searingly honest, compelling, and thought-provoking memoir about a mother’s struggle to become the parent her intellectually disabled daughter needs her to be. Exploring how a child’s diagnosis resonates through an entire family, she lays bare her initial anguish, loneliness, missteps, and self-blame, and writes eloquently about her journey from fear and vulnerability to radical acceptance.

[Karen DeBonis · Rating 5 out of 5]

It takes tremendous courage to tell a story as honestly as Shields’. In displaying her sometimes unflattering attitudes and behaviors toward her own child and other children with disabilities, she reveals the struggle I imagine many parents feel in accepting that life will not be perfect as planned. In showing us her transformation to the understanding that she—not her daughter—has the problem, she inspires all of us to look deeply within and challenge our views of what is “normal.”

[Carole Duff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot imagine what being a mother of a disabled child would be like, but thanks to a few women I know who are in this real life situation and Cathy Shields’s frank and well-crafted memoir, The Shape of Normal, I have a better idea—and I’m glad that I do. I have learned that loving an “imperfect magnificent child” is possible, and showing empathy for the child’s caretaker is the most loving thing I can do. Thank you, Cathy, for sharing your story.