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Deadweight
This is an old edition of this work, now unavailable and out of date.
The new edition, completely re-written, can be found here:
Deadweight: An autobiographical novel about Borderline Personality Disorder
Did delusions create the demons?
Did demons create the delusions?
Michael Hawkins descends into paranoia, hallucinations and delusions in this character portrait of a 19-year-old university student. After Michael adopts another personality to cope with his shifting reality, his mind fractures.
Voices begin to whisper...
This novelised autobiography aims to increase awareness of the difficulties faced by those who suffer anxiety, voice hearing, magical thinking, suicidal compulsion and a host of other symptoms. It may act as a resource for sufferers and their support network, and educators and students in the mental health profession. Hopefully, it offers comfort by helping others feel less isolated, alone.
Please note, this title contains only Part 1 of the final autobiography, and centres around Nicholas' suicide attempt at university, aged 19.
The new edition, completely re-written, can be found here:
Deadweight: An autobiographical novel about Borderline Personality Disorder
Did delusions create the demons?
Did demons create the delusions?
Michael Hawkins descends into paranoia, hallucinations and delusions in this character portrait of a 19-year-old university student. After Michael adopts another personality to cope with his shifting reality, his mind fractures.
Voices begin to whisper...
This novelised autobiography aims to increase awareness of the difficulties faced by those who suffer anxiety, voice hearing, magical thinking, suicidal compulsion and a host of other symptoms. It may act as a resource for sufferers and their support network, and educators and students in the mental health profession. Hopefully, it offers comfort by helping others feel less isolated, alone.
Please note, this title contains only Part 1 of the final autobiography, and centres around Nicholas' suicide attempt at university, aged 19.
289 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 8, 2013
17 people are currently reading
367 people want to read
About the author
Nicholas Boyd Crutchley
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Nick Crutchley
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
April 3, 2013
Exposing demons of the mind was captured in it's best by the author. I felt as if I was experiencing the turmoil myself. As a person that has been through somewhat of a mental lapse, the writer expressed the emotions that are hard to put into words. Deadweight is a roller coaster of emotions and something to take notice of the mentally Ill. Deadweight: A Case Study Concerning Mental Illness
March 22, 2013
As the partner of someone who has suffered I paused when attempting to write this review. I have found it difficult to communicate the feelings which I had during and after reading this story.
The story of this young man is powerfully evocative, excellent descriptive narrative is used to represent the inner turmoil. Shifting sequences shadow the movement of his mind.
In the first instance we are thrust into a deep emotional whirlpool, which carries us along. There is a compulsion to keep reading, buffeted along by the internal chaos of the character Nick and his journey through delusion and ultimately confusion. At times I cried, I even laughed, but overwhelming sadness was what I felt the most.
To love someone with a mental illness requires compassion, love, patience and understanding. I find that reading a story of another’s suffering helps me better understand and appreciate my partner.
No one will understand the courage and fear it will have taken to expose the details of the mind laid out in the pages of this book. My only hope is that the intention to help others is fulfilled, and that light will come to those who suffer in the knowing that they are not alone. Thank you for your courage.
The story of this young man is powerfully evocative, excellent descriptive narrative is used to represent the inner turmoil. Shifting sequences shadow the movement of his mind.
In the first instance we are thrust into a deep emotional whirlpool, which carries us along. There is a compulsion to keep reading, buffeted along by the internal chaos of the character Nick and his journey through delusion and ultimately confusion. At times I cried, I even laughed, but overwhelming sadness was what I felt the most.
To love someone with a mental illness requires compassion, love, patience and understanding. I find that reading a story of another’s suffering helps me better understand and appreciate my partner.
No one will understand the courage and fear it will have taken to expose the details of the mind laid out in the pages of this book. My only hope is that the intention to help others is fulfilled, and that light will come to those who suffer in the knowing that they are not alone. Thank you for your courage.
April 14, 2013
Nick asked me to read and review this book having did the same for his last title, I quickly agreed as I think he is a great guy. His writing is once again thorough, with this book you need not leave much to the imagination. The content was difficult due to my own struggles with mental illness and with the occult. It pains me to know that this gentle kind man went through a form of hell that many do not know much about. If you want a story that will amaze you pick this up. I am truly honoured to be given the chance to read this and share it with the ones I love...Thank you Nick, Thank You!
July 7, 2023
Wow - this book is engaging! Raw and in-your-face, this book is an intimate and arresting portrait of what life with severe mental illness is like. Wonderfully well-written - better than a lot of NYTimes bestsellers. Worth a read.
March 7, 2014
The story of Michael with his suffering of mental illnesses, although sad was very interesting to read. It was well written and well thought out by the author. Lots of research was obviously done to be able to get into the mind of someone suffering in this way. Well worth five star rating...
July 15, 2014
I did not like it. Too dark. Too many demons.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews