Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder: Relieve Your Suffering Using the Core Skill of Dialectical Behavior Therapy

by Blaise A. Aguirre, Gillian Galen

If you are like many others living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you know what it’s like to be overwhelmed by intense and fluctuating emotions; to have difficulty with relationships; and to constantly struggle with troubling thoughts and behaviors. BPD can be especially difficult to treat, though there are ways to gain control over your symptoms and live a happier, healthier life.

Expanding on the core skill of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder will help you target and successfully manage many of the familiar symptoms of BPD. Inside, you will learn the basics of mindfulness through specific exercises, and will gain powerful insight through real-life stories from people who have BPD. If you are ready to take that first step on the path toward wellness, this book will be your guide.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Health, Audiobook

210 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

I am a child and adolescent psychiatrists and practice dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and psychopharmacology. I am the medical director of 3East at Harvard - affiliated McLean Hospital, a residential DBT program for young women exhibiting behaviors and borderline personality traits. I have been on staff at McLean since 2000.

My books include 1) Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder: Relieve Your Suffering Using the Core Skill of Dialectical Behavior Therapy; 2) Borderline Personality Disorder in Adolescents: A Complete Guide to Understanding and Coping When Your Adolescent Has BPD 3) Depression (Biographies of Disease)And co-author of 4) Helping Your Troubled Teen: Learn to Recognize, Understand, and Address the Destructive Behavior of Today's Teens and 5) Parenting Your Child with Autism: Practical Solutions, Strategies, and Advice for Helping Your Family

Reviews

[Dalia Nourelden · Rating 4 out of 5]

الكتاب بالعربي اسمه : الإنتباه لاضطراب الشخصية الحدية

خفف من معاناتك باستخدام المهارة الاساسية فى العلاج السلوكى الجدلي

وجدت الكتاب صدفة وانا ابحث عن اضطراب الشخصية الحدية وكان لدى فضول للتعرف افضل عليها وعلى طريقة العلاج عن طريق التركيز . فى البداية ظننت او فهمت انه سيتم عن طريق تعليم التامل كما فى ممارسات اليوجا لكن الوضع مختلف ويعطينا الكتاب بداية وصف وتعريف لاضطراب الشخصية الحدية .

تحدث الكتاب عن تعريف واعراض اضطراب الشخصية الحدية ثم التعرف على التركيز وبيولوجيا الدماغ ثم كيف ممارسة التركيز وكيفية ممارسته كطريق للتحرر من المعاناة وبه الكثير من الحالات ووصف الحالات لشعورهم والكثير من التمارين .

كنت منجذبة جدا للكتاب ورغبتى فى القراءة كانت اقوى من محاولة ممارسة التمارين التى تخص مشكلات خاصة بى وجدتها لذا من المفترض ان اعيد قراءة وتسجيل التمارين ومحاولة ممارستها ومشكلتى معها انها تحتاج للتكرار الدائم حتى تعطى النتيجة المطلوبة وانا شخصية اشعر بالملل سريعا لكنى ساأحاول ان شاء الله .

الكتاب يحتاج للوقت ، شخصيا شعرت بأجهاد اثناء قراءته ليس لانه صعب فاسلوبه رائع وبسيط جدا و مفيد لمن يعانى من اضطراب الشخصية الحدية ولمن يعرف هذه الشخصية حتى يتفهمها بشكل اكبر ويساعدها لكن ليس ذلك فقط لكنه مفيد حتى لمن لايعانى من هذا الاضطراب فربما ستتعرف على عرض تعانى منه او يعانى منه شخص قريب منك وربما اذا استطعت ممارسة تعاليم الكتاب ستصبح افضل وربما تستطيع مساعدة شخص تعرفه او تتفهمه بشكل افضل
اتمنى ان اجد كتب اخرى تتحدث فى نفس الموضوع

هذا لينك للكتاب على التليجرام :

https://t.me/c/1097290088/294676

٢/ ٥ / ٢٠١٩

[char · Rating 5 out of 5]

As for its instruction on mindfulness, if you've been through DBT, there's nothing really new. It helps identify specific exercises as being useful for specific symptoms of BPD, but other than that, you'll know everything already. However, it's what they frame the mindfulness in that I absolutely loved. They focus on breaking down BPD into specific symptoms and showing how mindfulness can help those individual symptoms, and explain things in a way that doesn't shy away from presenting academic research, biological models, and even philosophical positions. Unlike other books which may dumb down their explanations or leave out the more clinical or gritty details, which can feel patronizing and even invalidating, these authors treat the reader as an intellectual equal, and as someone who experiences a lot of self-hatred particularly regarding my intelligence, I found the tone and level of information in the book extremely refreshing, rewarding, and validating (which, for borderlines, is pretty much one of the most helpful things you can give them).

I also really appreciated their honesty while talking about how BPD is seen/treated among mental health professionals. They addressed pertinent issues like why women are diagnosed with BPD way more often than men (spoiler: it's sexism!) and the short first-hand anecdotes throughout the book (which, personally, are always my favorite part) are diverse enough to show a really wide range of borderline experiences. As someone who doesn't fit the (inaccurate but persistent) stereotype of the reckless, promiscuous, manipulative borderline, it was extremely helpful to see expressions of BPD that I actually could relate to.

I'm not sure how accessible or helpful the information is without having already done DBT, but otherwise, 10/10, one of my new favorite borderline books!

[Andie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book in a giveaway but if I had known about it I would have gladly paid full price for it. This book is worth every penny! Someone that I am very close to has BPD and I have never quite understood the diagnosis. After reading this book I have more empathy and understanding for my loved one. The author explains BPD in a clinical sense that is easy to follow without dumbing it down. I could see my loved one in many of the scenarios presented and the way the author uses mindfulness techniques to change a patient's behavior is brilliant and encouraging. A patient who actively participates in their treatment will feel empowered and hopeful. I passed this book on to my loved one and I can already see an improvement in their coping skills and behavior. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has BPD or anyone who loves a person with BPD. I also learned how to deal more effectively with my loved one and they have seen a change in my response to them which has helped us become closer and to have a more peaceful relationship.

[motheranarkist · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh. My. God. Thank you so much for writing this book, Aguirre and Galen. I have no clue how I can possibly begin to thank you. This was a massive help for me, and the beginning of restoring not only my relationship with my partner but with myself.

The first part of the book goes to great lengths to convince you that this is real science and backs up its research well. Which for me was necessary, as I was skeptical of the concept of mindfulness as some Buddhist, yogi, pseudoscience. Part 2 shows you the 8 basic steps to get into mindfulness, and part 3 shows examples of what to do with the different symptoms you may feel.

I have never felt a book represent and understand me so well, and at the same time come with actual helpful advice on what to do. This advice has helped me more than any therapist and medication previously, and I am forever grateful that this book was written and that I picked it up.

I am beyond words on how to explain the impact this book had on my life. To do this day, this is the best self-help book I have ever read. If you suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder / Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder, please pick this book up from the nearest bookshop, library or the internet.

If you want to follow my progress on the different exercises in the book, take a look at some of the posts on my mental health recovery blog.
5 / 5 stars

This is the 2nd of the books I am reading in 2018 in my mission to better my EUPD through self-help books. I don't believe any further explanation needs to be given to justify the rating.
10 / 10 - my mental health scale

[Adrian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before this book, I’d never seen a book that was dedicated to BPD, and I’d been for the most part uninformed with a disorder that I myself have been struggling with very strongly for my entire life. I’ve been attempting to do better by myself and this book gave me a large amount of ways to do so. This book also described symptoms that only I thought I suffered from, and was really validating in being able to read that I’m not alone in those feelings. An amazing book for anyone suffering with Borderline personality disorder.

[Connor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not convinced mindfulness is the panacea it is paraded to be, but this effort was slightly less annoying and slightly more useful than the average self-help/mindfulness book.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this a lot--mindfulness is often the core skill that makes the other skills possible and this book gives some useful tips for therapists introducing mindfulness and DBT concepts and skills. I also think this book can be recommended to most clients with BPD traits.

Some highlights: when applying mindfulness skills to impulsivity the authors recommend resisting the urge to swallow for 90 seconds to 2 minutes while paying attention to one's thoughts and experience. I also liked and will use their RIDE THE WAVE acronym:

1. Register your body sensations.
2. Identify your action urges.
3. Determine the emotion.
4. Express to yourself nonjudgmentally.
5. Take deep breaths.
6. Hands and body are open.
7. Establish a grounded position.
8. WAVE: Watch and notice your emotion as if it were a
wave.

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like how the author didn't make me feel like a monster for having a personality disorder like most other BPD help books do. Honestly, this is the least stigmatized I've felt since learning more about it and if you have BPD or someone in your life has it, this is an excellent primer.

[zac carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is life-changing; it has already changed mine. i hadn’t planned to review this beyond a star rating because doing so feels like a particular type of exposure. then i stepped over that the best i could because fuck shame and life is wildly short and maybe someone’s really gotta know if this book is what they need.

very early on, authors blaise aguirre and gillian galen put words to experiences i’ve not been able to. they provide complete descriptions of the traits and characteristics of borderline personality disorder, relevant case studies to give relatable and realistic examples, and first-person quotes based on those case studies. this setup is probably the best way they could’ve delivered so much useful (and difficult) information. almost everything felt accessible as i read and reread, and i felt that the approachability of the material would make it much easier to revisit the text on days i need that.

in my deep, deep core—parts of myself i hadn’t met before—i experienced validation and reassurance for the first time reading this book. the neurobiology passages were eye-opening and fuckin heartbreaking and, again, validating. i wept a lot.

for folx well-versed in mental healthcare, social work, or mindfulness, you may not feel you are gaining a lot of new information at first, but stick with it. aguirre and galen go much much deeper than i predicted in explaining how to use specific mindfulness skills to cope with specific types of distress.

there’s so much more about the book that i appreciate. the catharsis from the earlier chapters alone make the book absolutely worth reading. i don’t think i’ve said this about something before, but here i go: this book has the power to save many lives. it has saved mine already.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good reference, always good to learn as much as you can, however I found the mindfulness instructions to be confusing.. or vague, not substantial enough, and difficult to successfully implement to make a significant change in behavior modification.. That being said, I need to make a better effort at practicing them and give them more of a chance to sink in.. But I found generally that they won't make a dent in my symptoms. I still need the saw-tooth bit... Still, I think it's worth reading.

[Night Beast · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have BPD and this was refreshing to read and actually helpful! I liked the overall structure - It was broken down really well. The language and examples from sufferers gives great insight. This books good to add to your toolkit as a good reference to pull out and use if you have BPD.

Highly recommended if you are newly diagnosed and haven’t engaged with DBT yet or other treatments.

I’d recommend it also to family, partners whom live with someone with BPD looking for more understanding. It outlines really well the symptoms, background of BPD and the strategies you can apply.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book if you are struggling with BPD or even if you are bi-polar. This was my first introduction to mindfulness and with practice + patience this book can help change the way you think or react in all types of situations. When I came across this book I had been struggling pretty bad to regulate my emotions and felt as though I had no control.

After reading this book and taking TONS of notes, years later I am still practicing mindfulness.

[Theo Micolino · Rating 5 out of 5]

it’s very difficult to put into words how much this book means to me. hugely helpful for anyone who wants to get a handle on their recovery but who isn’t able to access professional dbt. this book changed my life!

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for the purpose of character research. I found it easy to read and understand and believe anyone suffering this disorder would be helped by reading this book.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is by far the best mindfulness book I've read. The techniques could be used by anyone in any setting. If it’s possible to be in love with a book, I am.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very effective book covering a wide range of DBT techniques, backed up by stories and experiences, and a look to the effects of where mindfulness can take the reader. Hopeful and elegantly written.

[Brianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has several great explanations of what BPD is and there a numerous, very helpful mindfulness practices. I love the anecdotes shared by former patients as well.

[TASNIEM SABER · Rating 3 out of 5]

كتاب للمتخصصين و فقط لا انصح به الجمهور العادي
قرأت النسخة المترجمة عن الاصلية و وجدتها افضل من المتوقع في انتقاء مفرادات الترجمة شكراً لكل القائمين على هذا العمل غربا و شرقا

[Tammie Anne (Literary.Existentialism) · Rating 5 out of 5]

An important resource for sufferers, loved ones, and therapists. These examples of mindfulness practices actually work in times of distress and emptiness.

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes it feels in the field of social work that mindfulness is just another buzzword that is all too often condensed too much from its true meaning to be useful. So I wasn't sure what to expect coming into this book, but I found the guidance here to be robust, practical, and well-supported. I highly recommend this short book to anyone looking to improve dysregulation or anxiety, and am very happy to see it targeted toward folks with borderline personality disorder. The examples given for BPD especially felt very relevant and representative of what BPD looks like for many people. Some of the mindfulness prompts were a little out there (and the driving one I feel like may not be super safe??), but overall, I thought they were well-considered and realistic.

For example, one core exercise they promote is called RIDE THE WAVE, and stands for:
1. Register your body sensations
2. Identify your action urges
3. Determine the emotion
4. Express to yourself nonjudgmentally
5. Take deep breaths
6. Hands and body are open
7. Establish a grounded position
8. WAVE - watch and notice your emotion as if it were a wave.

Another one is called Getting STABLE, and prompts you to recall information about a time you felt each of the following emotions about a relationship:
1. Sad
2. Terrified that the person would abandon you
3. Angry
4. Bored
5. Love
6. Excited

And they recommend that if you feel judgments about these emotions as you think through these scenarios, you can go back to riding the wave. The whole point of this exercise is to remember that the relationship is not defined by the emotion in the immediate moment. One thing that really stood out to me earlier in the book was that many people with BPD often find immediate emotions so overwhelming that they literally forget that they have ever felt another way about the relationship or the situation, which feeds into the characteristic black/white thinking.

One of the most interesting neurobiological takeaways for me was that while it has been obvious to me for a long time that SSRIs often don't do much for folks with BPD unfortunately, that recalling stories has been shown to increase serotonin in the brains of folks with BPD. So with a regular mindfulness practice that is centered on recalling stories that induce happiness, there is real potential to raise the emotional baseline and see some symptom relief.

Overall, this isn't really anything new for folks who are familiar with DBT, but it can be a good refresher or a good primer. While basic, some of it is really counterintuitive, like the extent of nonjudgment, and the author explains these concepts very well.

[Spencer H · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 stars. Overall this book is a) a nice summary of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and b) a nice introduction to mindfulness. It's a short book, and that's probably one of its biggest strengths. An unconvinced reader could quickly flip through it and absorb some of the high level concepts. A more motivated reader could spend quite a lot of time on the exercises and come away with a greater understanding of themselves. I think this combination of depth and brevity makes it an easy book to recommend, even to skeptical clients. I particularly liked the approach of going by symptom as I find this works well in practice and seems to help with organization for those easily overwhelmed.

There were a few weaknesses such as the repetition towards the end, some rather obscure (and I would argue unnecessary) acronyms, and the tendency at times to summarize some very high level concepts from DBT so quickly that I suspect readers unfamiliar with the therapy might be left a bit confused. That said, overall I thought this was a great, accessible book that I will continue to recommend to those struggling with BPD or any of its core symptoms.

[Nadia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly.. the idea is great however in the first part of the book, the authors mention that “they are not being bias but will only include female names since they only have female experiences recorded”? That makes no sense to me and feels a little bias. In fact, I’ve met or know several men with BPD which makes sense since some of them cannot handle negative emotions (man thing right?) any who, it was frustrating because they address each woman case as being overly emotional? How degrading and second of all if they would add some men experiences it would be healing to read since I have met them in my past as well. No thank you.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

most books written about people with bpd go something along the lines of "here's why you're such a manipulative piece of shit and how you can fix yourself" and this book is the first i've read that seemed to actually have compassion for people with bpd. i find some of the practices difficult to follow along with without someone there helping me through it but there were some very good parts of this that help with coping skills and challenging the way you think. overall the best book i've read about bpd and the only one that didn't make me feel like a monster

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading how many books about mindfulness, I was getting used to reading the same thing over and over, however this book actually provided more active ways of using mindfulness with tricky BPD symptoms. I love how it provides something new like how to use mindfulness with fear of abandonment and chronic emptiness. If even spoke about paranoia! Such difficult symptoms of the disorder that it is nice to get definitive examples of how to be mindful and validate

[Lexi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gives amazing insight into the workings of the brain of someone afflicted with BPD. The mindfulness exercises are clear and helpful. I could feel my thoughts slowing down as I did them. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about this much misunderstood disorder or about mindfulness. Even those who don't suffer from BPD will benefit immensely as we all display at least some of the symptoms.

[Noha Bassiouny · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book gives a thorough explanation of BPD, including a neurobiological perspective, which I like. However, it gave me the impression that it’s more geared toward people who need to understand and navigate relationships with someone who has BPD rather than directly addressing those with the disorder. While I found the scenarios highly relatable, I felt it lacked depth when it came to practical solutions for managing those incidents.

[Ursula. · Rating 5 out of 5]

ساعدني الكتاب كثيراً على فهم الاضطراب الحدي من الناحيتين الفسيولوجية والنفسية وخصوصاً الفسيولوجية ، وفهم المشكلة هي نصف الحل
كما أن التجارب المذكورة للمصابين خففت علي قليلاً وأحسست بالمواساة
أعمل حالياً على تطبيق تمارين التركيز في حياتي اليومية
،
أغفل الكُتاب ذكر أنواع الشخصية الحدية وهذه النقطة السلبية الوحيدة


ممتنه جداً لمن ترجم الكتاب للعربية 🤍

[Chrisma Ng]

As someone who struggles with BPD (but am going through therapy), this is one good read, a real complement to the skills I’ve been trying to master. This is possibly the best book I’ve read thus far teaching coping skills (various mindfulness practices) for people with BPD. I am very surprised too that the authors managed to capture the struggles we go through down to the nuances.

[MindFully · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am extremely excited &unbelievably hopeful; after reading this book. I feel like I have all the power in the world &if you'd have asked me 5 years ago... I would have never said that it all started with Mindfulness."

[an elf · Rating 5 out of 5]

A worthwhile read for anyone that suffers with emotional dysregulation, not just those diagnosed with BPD. 100% will read and revisit often.

They provide a compassionate and conversational approach to teaching the practice of mindfulness in the midst of suffering.