The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work

by Jon Gordon

Negativity in the workplace costs businesses billions of dollars and impacts the morale, productivity and health of individuals and teams. "In The No Complaining Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work, Jon Gordon, a bestselling author, consultant and speaker, shares an enlightening story that demonstrates how you can conquer negativity and inspire others to adopt a positive attitude." Based on one company’s successful No Complaining Rule, the powerful principles and actionable plan are practical and easy-to-follow, making this book an ideal read for managers, team leaders and anyone interested in generating positive energy.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Leadership, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Development, Psychology

181 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Jon Gordon is an American business consultant and author on the topics of leadership, culture, sales, and teamwork.

Jon Gordon's best-selling books and talks have inspired readers and audiences around the world. His principles have been put to the test by numerous NFL, NBA, and college coaches and teams, Fortune 500 companies, school districts, hospitals and non-profits. He is the author of The Wall Street Journal bestseller The Energy Bus, The No Complaining Rule, Training Camp, The Shark and The Goldfish, Soup, The Seed and his latest The Positive Dog. Jon and his tips have been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Fox and Friends and in numerous magazines and newspapers. His clients include The Atlanta Falcons, Campbell Soup, Wells Fargo, State Farm, Novartis, Bayer and more.

Jon is a graduate of Cornell University and holds a Masters in Teaching from Emory University. He and his training/consulting company are passionate about developing positive leaders, organizations and teams.

When he's not running through airports or speaking, you can find him playing tennis or lacrosse with his wife and two "high energy" children.

You can find him on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jongordonpage

Reviews

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

My book club selected this book after a manager at our company recommended it. To be clear, we picked it as a joke. I went in thinking I'd give it a good skim and a chuckle. I was wrong. This book sucked me in immediately because of HOW COMPLETELY TERRIBLE IT IS. I had to continue reading for entertainment. Allow me to share with you some of my favorite worst passages in this atrocious excuse for a book.

Exhibit A: Some fantastically awful character descriptions:
"He was a fast-talking northeasterner with wavy dark brown hair that was slicked back to expose his good-looking face."
Maybe his hair is thinning and he's attempting a comb-over. How do you know? More importantly, WHY DO WE CARE?

"He was a tall, thin, mild-mannered CEO whose focused, calm demeanor was shaped by his years coaching college basketball."
Have you ever seen a college basketball coach? Or any coach for that matter? They are generally the opposite of calm.

Hilarious and unrealistic outbursts from the ironically named protagonist, Hope:
"Just stay in your own lane. Don't you see I'm here! I pity the person who tries to mess with me right now."
First of all, let’s work on expanding your road range vocabulary. Second of all, stop watching movies with Mr. T in them.

“And yet we have to wonder why are there not more people skipping through our halls, smiling at coworkers, singing ‘Kumbaya,’ and loving their jobs?”
Maybe it’s because they don’t work at a summer camp.

“She knew by the sound of the ring. She knew because her heart started pounding. She knew because she knew.”
She knew because positivity in the workplace gives you psychic powers. And she had caller ID.

“She sat down, and for the first time since Mother’s Day five years ago, her kids served her a meal.”
Because she’s been keeping track, kids. She has a secret calendar with tick marks that she cries over EVERY NIGHT, wishing you would cook for her again.

People saying things three times:
"Hope, Hope, Hope. Where have you been?"
Spoken by Jim; we're only on pg. 3 of the book here people.

"Complainer! Complainer! You're calling me a complainer!"
Spoken by Hope's "strong-willed" 17-yr-old daughter.

"Hope, Hope, Hope." said by Dan, followed by, "Why does everyone have to say my name three times?" WE'RE WONDERING THE SAME THING!

“Good. Good. Good. But I expect you to get a lot done today….”
Say it again, Dan. In fact, why not add her name after each “good” too?

“She began to cry. And cry and cry. ‘Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.’”
THE POWER OF THREE COMPELS YOU!

A series of bad literary devices:
“Before heading into the house, she stopped to talk to the yard guy, who was applying his magic organic mixture to her lawn.”
What company is paying you to endorse organic farming?

“It occurred to her that cancer exists in both bodies and organizations. Yes, she agreed with Jim that these particular bloggers were jerks and she knew that, unfortunately, jerks existed in every organization. She thought of them as a kind of topical skin cancer. They don’t hide. They stand right in front of you and say, ‘Here I am.’ As a result you can easily and quickly remove them. Far more dangerous is the kind of cancer that is subtle and inside your body.”
See what he did there? Compared the nature of bloggers to skin cancer cells and simultaneously combined Hope’s personal and work problems with ONE analogy. Give this man a Pulitzer.

“Hope wondered if they had been drinking, but she didn’t smell anything, thank goodness. She later found out that they were infused with the intoxication of kindness and happiness.”
I think you mean cocaine.

“She knew she had won, but there were many more games yet to be played. The ultimate game—the game of life—was far from over.”
It’s true, that board game does take forever to play, and I always get stuck in that shitty duplex house with a million babies.

Female stereotypes:
The nurturing but no-nonsense nurse:
“‘The psychologists are wrong!’ shouted Joyce, raising her hand in the air.”
Science be damned! Let me give you a notecard from my church and a trendy, Lance Armstrong inspired bracelet to change your entire mindset!

“‘Now, that’s my girl,’” assured Joyce. ‘I’ll call you Monday with good news. I’m praying for good news.’”
Because as long as you stay positive and are contacted by a nurse from the hospital who inappropriately tells you she’s praying for you, there’s no way in hell cancer will think about entering your body.

The helpless divorcee:
“A tear fell down Hope’s cheek because she was so thankful there were still good men left in the world.”
Because knowing that even after her scallywag of a husband left her there are still men out there who won’t screw her over is just the motivation she needs to turn her life around.

“She would never be a world leader, ambassador, or CEO, but she knew that if she could empower people to turn their complaints and problems into solutions, then in some small way she would be doing her part to change her employees, her company, and, ultimately, the world.”
Yup, you’re right. Even after her new positive outlook has allowed her to have a completely new relationship with her children and given her body the ability to ward off cancer, there’s just no way it could foster something practical, like career advancement. After all, unlike the rest of her company’s management team, she’s a woman.

My FAVORITE worst passage of the entire book:
“After a few minutes she could feel a certain lightness come over her body. As if she had lost a hundred pounds of fear, stress, and emotional burden.*She got up, walked to her office window, and looked out to a beautiful blue sky with a bright full sun. And at that moment a flock of birds flew by. Hope laughed, knowing that this was her personal sign that miracles happen every day. She walked back to her computer and clicked on her music icon. She clicked to her favorite song, raised the volume as loud as possible, and danced around her office.”

*please note this is not a complete sentence
I think this passage speaks for itself. I almost threw up a little in my mouth.

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a light and insubstantial little book that tells us what we all probably already know: positivity breeds a better work environment. The book presents a quick action plan to weed out negativity in the work place. I'll save you the cheesy (and at times really sexist) novella: 1: understand the cost of negativity, 2: understand the no complaining rule, 3: define justified complaining vs mindless, 4: identify your complaint/solution process, 5: act on that process, 6: celebrate successes, 7: monitor and enforce the no-complaining rule, 8: act on the no-complaining tools, and 9: designate a no-complaining week.

And in theory, this all sounds good. The no complaining rule is essentially that there should be no complaining amongst employees; that when a person has a problem, they'll take it to a manager along with 1-2 solutions for that problem. And that when you complain to yourself, you should turn it into a positive. And I suppose that if you were a manager of a small staff who were all very enthusiastic about this idea, it could work beautifully. However, if you're just one employee with indifferent supervisors, this method isn't going to work well for you.

And a note about the writing itself: be prepared to middle though 120 pages of the worst allegory I've ever read. Hope (c'mon, really?) is the HR director at EZ Tech, a divorced mother of two who might have cancer and thinks all men are scum (except for her basketball-coach CEO, of course, who is adorable). Hope's life is turned around, though, when she meets nurse JOYce (just when you think it can't get worse...) who introduces her to the No Complaining Rule, which Hope then uses at her failing company. I feel like I could have taken the principles outlined here far more seriously if it hadn't been written as a Lifetime channel screenplay, and had the principles and action plan been better defined and fleshed out, it would have helped this book seem more valuable, but as it is, I recommend skipping this one.

[Brian]

"You don't like your job? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYONE. We meet at the bar." --Drew Carey

Guess what, Jon? The only people who read this are managers who are trying to force their underlings into obedience and silence. This shit don't work in real life. Bitching and whining about work is what makes this nation great, and the day Jon Gordon stats slaving away in a cubicle, a factory, or a kitchen, I'll start caring about his opinion on workplace negativity.

"Say 'I get to' instead of 'I have to.'" Fine. You GET to have my fist on your face.

"Don't complain without offering two solutions." Fine. I can ask Brian to stop beating me or I can run away.

"Think of how things could be worse." Fine. Brian's foot's in my ass, but at least he's not coming at me from the front!

And yes, I'm not really going to go psycho on Jon. I don't know where he lives. Honestly, I kind of admire anyone who makes money off the misery of others. But no one will ever love you. And I don't want to hear you complain about that.

God, that was cathartic. It feels so damn good to COMPLAIN.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel like this author did some meaningful research, came up with useful strategies, and then realized that books are supposed to be more than three pages. Seriously, this is a very simple suggestion to live life more positively buried in an absurdly cheesy story.

[Lindsay Nixon · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars // this book came at just the right time for me. It's not a new idea, "turn a complaint into a solution" but it was well explained against the backdrop of a personal story that is compelling and relatable. It's a slim book (2 hours at most). For anyone that's in a crisis or having a hard time, reading this book will bring a sliver of light back into a dark time and help change your circumstances immediately. It's definitely got some cheesemo going on, but the cheesy quirkiness is part of the charm.

[Scott Paulson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was astonished at the reviews that complained about the book in so many ways. I would suggest that they read it again and implement the rules that this book suggests. Thank goodness I do not have to work with such negative people. The book is a quick and easy read. I try to take something positive away from every book that I read. There are a number of real life scenarios in this book. Are you going to sit on the sidelines and let negative complainers dictate how you think and feel or are you going to be a part of the solution?

[pri · Rating 3 out of 5]

It definitely did read a bit like an after school special - I could even imagine the accompanying music. And towards the end I did feel very 'blah blah syrup syrup' THE END. BUT - the principle is marvelous. That workplaces lose efficiency due to mindless complaining and that being able to foster and grow a more positive environment was crucial to success. Love the idea, which can be summed up in the quote below, but didn't like the fable way it was shared.

quote:
Employees are not allowed to mindlessly complain to their coworkers. If they have a problem or complaint about their jobs, their company, their customer, or anything else, they are encouraged to bring the issue to their manager or someone who is in a position to address the complaint. However the employees must share one or two possible solutions to their complaint as well.

The idea being to nourish the grass so that it grows so much the weeds have no place on the lawn.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. This was a great parable-like book with practical tools and steps to the importance of not complaining. And I love that it doesn’t just say no complaining, because that in and of itself is not realistic or practical. But there are tips as to what to do when you do catch yourself complaining, as well as how to differentiate between critical/mindless complaining and useful complaining.
I really enjoyed this and am planning to go back through it with a notebook and start implementing these in my family and business.

[Kev Willoughby · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick read containing some practical examples of how to implement a more positive culture in your personal and professional life. I like that someone can pick up this book, read it in one sitting, and immediately implement the directives and see results. No extensive study is required.

One of my favorite quotes that introduced the theme of the book came not from the author, but from Coach Lou Holtz: "Don't complain. Eighty percent of the people you complain to don't care and 20% are glad you have problems." Therefore, when you complain, your audience is either not actually listening, hoping you will shut up, or is struggling to disguise their pleasure at your misfortunes. That alone is enough to give you second thoughts about airing your grievances.

But isn't it healthy to express yourself and get it out of your system?

This commonly held belief is addressed in the book!

Later, author Jon Gordon advises readers to "stop being disappointed about where you are and start being optimistic about where you are going." To this end, some of the great takeaways he includes are "The 3 No Complaining Tools" and "5 Things to Do Instead of Complain."

I found it intriguing near the end of the book that the Gallup Organization once conducted research and discovered that there was an 80% correlation between the worst experiences of someone's life and the best experiences.

Oftentimes, out of the adverse circumstances we find ourselves in, something great emerges that we would never have otherwise experienced. Although that isn't always the case, it is worth remembering as we go through trials that it is at least a very good possibility that better times are ahead and that we'll ultimately be able to look back on the tough times and see how it shaped our resolve or led to some measure of success as a result.

[Peyton · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like the concepts, but they get bogged down by the goofy "story" that frames them. The next time I think a professional book needs to be more narrative and less didactic, I'll remember this one and count my blessings.

[Drew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, easy read, but I loved the concept of this book. I especially loved how it put the concept into a story, as this made it easier to visualize what this concept would look like in action.

[Kunlonewolf · Rating 1 out of 5]

ด้วยความที่อะไรหลายๆอย่างไม่ถูกใจในที่ทำงาน
ทำให้บางครั้งก็เผลอบ่นออกไปโดนไม่ทันคิด หลังๆเริ่มรู้ตัวเเละหยุดบ่น เลยลองหาหนังสือเกี่ยวกับการบ่นก็เลยได้เล่มนี้เเหละ ขอรีวิวคนเเรกเลยละกัน

ตัวเล่มเนื้อหาไม่หนามาก เล่มเล็ก อ่านง่าย

นำเสนอในรูปเเบบของนิยาย เเอบขัดใจเล็กน้อยตรงรูปเเบบการนำเสนอ อ่านไปสักหน่อยกว่าจะเริ่มเข้าประเด็น ตามชื่อหนังสือ ตามสิ่งที่ต้องการจะรู้

เเต่อ่านไปอ่านมา ค่อนข้างจะเน้นเกี่ยวกับองค์กรในที่ทำงานเป็นหลัก เเละบอกเเค่เพียงวิธีเเก้เพียงน้อยนิด เลยไม่ค่อยรู้สึกถึงประโยชน์ต่อตนเองสักเท่าไหร่

เเอบเสียดายเงินนะเนี่ย ผิดหวังกับชื่อหนังสือเเละรูปเเบบการนำเสนอที่ไม่ได้อยู่ในรูปของ fact เสียจริง

[Dayna Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!!! Awesome ideas for stopping complaining, I am going back through it to write notes for myself.

[Edival Santos · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a very simple book and very quick to read. I liked the key message and some good tips how to implement the no complaining rule. And John Gordon is always interesting and worthwhile.

[Scott · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is just a god awful book. I don't understand why the author chose to make it into a short story about a company using these techniques instead of just talking about how you could implement the No Complaining Rule. One reviewer stated that it reads like an after-school special and they are absolutely right! Worse than that though the author gives terrible advice by accident. There's a security guard character that gives the advice "It could always be worse!" If your a mental health professional like myself you know that "silver lining it" is a perfect way to make someone feel worse not better. It's the difference between using sympathy and empathy. There were other slight sexist comments that male characters made toward our protagonist. Basically something akin to "smile more." I'm guessing that that wasn't the goal to come off like that, but I cringed when I read it. The one shining star about this book was that it made me hopeful that one day I can publish a book. If this has an average of 4 stars on Goodreads, then I'm getting myself in the publishing game! I'll just need a great editor to fix my many grammatical mistakes. Haha!

[André Gomes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Complaining serves little purpose, hurts and kills productivity and moral.

One negative person can create a miserable environment for everyone else.

Complaining and negative emotions are associated with decreased life span, fewer friends, increased risk of heart attack, more stress and no success.

Do not complain to anyone other then your supervisor/management and be prepared to give a solution to that which you complain about! It's not that you should ignore things that are wrong or not working, but you should focus on solve the problems instead of passive complaining and negativity. Focus on Solutions instead of Problems!

Instead of complaining: Practice gratitude; Praise others and focus on what they’re doing right; Focus on success: start a success journal. Before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day; Let go. Let go of the things that are beyond your control; Pray and meditate.

[Carol Bakker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Business Motivation is not a genre I typically read. Yet, The No Complaining Rule contained plenty of good reminders. My favorite was: complaining is an adult form of crying. But the writing was bottom shelf and the whole thing had a didactic tinge that I've been allergic to since I was a young reader.

Biblical parables often make one ponder and work to tease out a meaning. The moral of this parable was, in a sense, underlined, emboldened, and repeated in case you missed it.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This didn’t have the wow impact that The Energy Bus did but I was in a different frame of mind when listening to The Energy Bus. However, The No Complaining Rule has more subtle actions for less extreme negativity. I think the actions in The No Complaining Rule will be easier to implement. I will start at home and hopefully be able to take it to my staff at work.

[Elham Kohestani · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book to read in case you are surrounded by negative thoughts or if you are continually wasting your time on complaining about the situation you are, the problems you are facing with etc. The good point about the book is that it can be applied both in working life and personal life.

[Brenda Charneski · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's possible to turn negative behavior in to postive actions, but it needs to happen from the top down.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of cheesy story, but a really good idea. Now to implement this at work and in life...

[Logan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this as part of some initiative at my school.

If you love cheesy, poorly written Christian films, then you’ll love this. Although, it isn’t clear if Hope actually gets saved in the end.

Look, this book has a few good points on how to shift your thinking. I’ve actually been using them for years. But the way it’s presented here is just *too* neat. Not to mention too brief. I honestly found the story aspect of the book to be a hindrance to the message that Gordon was trying to get across.

It’s also weird to me to see a story try to interweave God into the mix without actually knowing anything about Him. For example, the whole idea of positivity in the book comes off as “positive vibes” that’s so prevalent in our culture. This is seen towards the beginning of the book when Hope’s boss, essentially, tells her to “just get over” the fact her husband left her a few months prior, in quite possibly the most manipulative fashion I’ve seen that’s reminiscent of 50 Shades. Yes, THAT 50 Shades of Grey. To add insult to injury, the questionnaire in the back includes a question asking if you share your problems with others. If you choose strongly agree, it counts against you. Those well versed in the Bible (above a 3rd grade reading level even), know that it’s a good thing to carry one another’s burdens. It’s how we survive trials.

It’s clear to me that Gordon knows more about “positive vibes” than he does Christianity.

Overall, I’m glad this book is short (120 pages in total). There are a few good points covered up by a poorly written story. But this is better served as a blog post than a book.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have not read this book but I have heard some of the stories at the beginning of this book. Very strange.

I have often hated the idea of no complaining when people use it as a way to stop observations of problem. Eventually this book does talk about bringing problems to right person to help with solution and to come with solutions. I agree that complaining can become a habit. “Problem solvers instead of problem sharers”. Just a little worried about projecting the Rule without the Solution begin how this roles out in workplaces.

A bit too much story for me and not enough of how to move this forward. The last 1/4 is the most important part - story is about looking at solutions too.

Overall a quick read and introduction to this topic. Or a refresher for those who have been sucked back into negative energy.

[Erianne · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I understand the message of the book after reading it, I didn’t like the style that it was written in. This over exaggerated story of Hope was a little too much, especially how she has magically made her life better without complaining (not to mention these weird and faint God and Bible concepts… keep religion out of the workplace). I think the book / plot analogies were overdone and far too lengthy. This could have just been a PDF handout explaining the principles instead.

[Lindsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Parable style, motivational book. I don’t think this book was as well done as others I’ve read. But I’m always happy to read a book reminding me to stay positive.

The most helpful part of this book, to me, is the suggestion that for every meaningful complaint, you must come up with 1-2 solutions to fix it in the future.

[Lacey Byrne · Rating 2 out of 5]

The irony isn’t lost on me that I wanna complain about a book on not complaining. I totally agree and love the premise and I myself hate when people complain beyond venting. I just wanted more of the “how to” in a workplace setting as I assumed this book would address. What does it look like in a workplace to encourage more positivity? How do you steer the conversation away from complaints?

[Noelia C. Sanz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Este libro es muy sencillo de leer y me ha gustado bastante. Confirma mi creencia de que la queja sin fundamento ni lleva a ninguna parte, y recalca la importancia de proponer soluciones siempre. Lo cuenta en forma de historia, cuya protagonista sufre este cambio de mentalidad.

[Nicole Cushing · Rating 4 out of 5]

Similar to the energy bus...I good little parable for how to make life more enjoyable. Wish more would embrace the philosophy.

[Scott Steib · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of good ideas. Somewhat predictable, but an overall good message AND there are some practical applications as well.

[Forrest · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very simple premise; don’t complain unless there’s something you can/will do about it. Definitely helped to avoid any daily complaining for the sake of complaining.