Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids

by Kara Powell, Chap Clark

Most parents would give anything to anchor their children with a vibrant faith that 'sticks' and continues to mature long-term. Yet despite this deep desire, research indicates that approximately 40-50% of high school seniors drift from their faith after graduation. In response to this problem, the Fuller Youth Institute (FYI) has launched the College Transition Project, a national longitudinal study following 400 high school seniors during their first three years in college. This provocative and needed research is geared to spark a movement that empowers parents, churches, leaders, and adults of all ages to develop robust and long-term faith in kids.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Faith, Christianity, Christian, Christian Living, Family

226 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 20, 2011

About the author

Dr. Kara Powell is the Executive Director of the Fuller Youth Institute (FYI), a faculty member at Fuller Theological Seminary, and Fuller's Chief of Leadership Formation. Named by Christianity Today as one of “50 Women You Should Know,” Kara serves as a Youth and Family Strategist for Orange, and also speaks regularly at parenting and leadership conferences. Kara is the author or coauthor of a number of books, including 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager, Growing Young, Growing With, The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family, Sticky Faith Curriculum, Can I Ask That?, Deep Justice Journeys, Deep Justice in a Broken World, Deep Ministry in a Shallow World, and the Good Sex Youth Ministry Curriculum. Kara lives with her husband Dave and their three teenage and young adult children, Nathan, Krista, and Jessica, in Southern California.

Reviews

[Teri Pardue · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tend to run away from books that offer solutions for parents so their children won’t reject Christianity (or books that prey on Christian parents’ fears). This is a book I would never have picked up and read of my own volition. However, someone I highly respect loved and recommended it, so I felt it was worth it to give it a try.
Sadly, I found a lot of the same frustration with it as with similar books:

-First, it is incredibly self-promoting. Even though it’s a short book (little more than 200 pages and eight chapters), it manages to encourage the reader to visit their website (you guessed it: stickyfaith.org) FIFTEEN times! One time even encouraging the reader to purchase more of their materials:
“As a follow-up to our research, we’ve also developed a Sticky Faith senior curriculum as part of this line of resources. You might want to get a copy for your church’s youth pastor and maybe one for yourself too. You can order it at www.stickyfaith.org.”
Brace yourself. The word “sticky” will appear two hundred and nineteen times. It’s exhausting.

-Second, the authors try to create a method for “saving” young people. Even though they admit, time and again, that there is no silver bullet for getting our children to have the same faith as us, they still try to create one. Therefore, the book is full of contradictions and desperate clawing for answers. One chapter opens with talking about how short-term missions trips have not been proven to shape or strengthen the faith of young people, —“Service and justice work —as we currently do them —are not sticking like we’d hope. More than two million US teens go on mission trips annually. While that’s something to applaud, for five out of six of them, the trips don’t have much impact on their lives” (p.129).
But then the chapter attempts to make a case for how they can make a difference (without really offering new solutions).

The book offers very little scripture to encourage parents in how to raise up and disciple their kids. Instead it sums up small and unscientific research studies (read about them in the appendix) and intersperses it with random, uninspiring quotes from teens much to this affect:
“The longer you wait, the harder it is to get plugged in to a church or a campus ministry. —Glyn”


Take it from the mouths of the writers themselves(they have no solutions) and look for a more theologically-based, inspiring, and educational book. (I’d recommend First Ask Why by Wildman or Disciplines of a Godly Family by Hughes).
“As we planned our College Transition Project, the FYI research team had hoped to find one thing that parents and church leaders could do that would be the silver bullet of Sticky Faith. We had hoped to find one element of kids’ church involvement (e.g., Bible study, small groups, mentoring, justice work) that would be significantly related to higher faith maturity —head and shoulders above the rest. We haven’t found that silver bullet. While the study of Scripture, small groups, mentoring, retreats, justice work, and a host of other ministry activities are important, the reality is that kids’ spiritual growth is far more complicated than just one silver bullet. The closest our research has come to that definitive silver bullet is this sticky finding: for high school and college students, there is a relationship between attendance at churchwide worship services and Sticky Faith” (p.97)

[Jonathan Beigle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sticky Faith is all about how to make sure your kids stick with their faith after they are out of the home. While it was an interesting topic, I was consistently frustrated with the book because it merely provided tons of tips and suggestions. I did not feel the book provided real wisdom on how to maximize the chances that your kids hung on to Christ after moving out. Many times I was confused on who the audience of the book should be, whether the parents, the youth pastor, or the senior pastor of the church. Overall, I'd say Sticky Faith was a disappointment.

Favorite quotes (there weren't many):
p. 39 - "God makes it clear that he is not interested in obedience geared merely to obtain his favor."
p. 60 - "The more open you are to exploring your personal and communal identity, and encourage honesty and dialogue about issues that may at times be painful, the more your child will have the vocabulary and framework for developing her own identity."
p. 77 - "Never explain something to your kid if you can ask a question instead."
p. 183 - "Parenting is a marathon, and pacing is what matters most."

[Sean Post · Rating 3 out of 5]

For several years Sticky Faith has been recommended as one of the go-to books on addressing the exodus of youth from the church and from faith. There has been tons of quality research done on the topic and it has translated into many books. Sticky Faith stands alone though in the audience it appears to be written for. While works like "Almost Christian" and "Soul Searching" are more academic (yet still palatable), Sticky Faith is extremely accessible to the typical parent. And given the authors argument that parent's faith is the single biggest factor in determining the faith of their child, that's probably a good thing.

The only reason I give it an average rating is because it doesn't hugely supplement the research that I'm doing. Although there were some nice insights on adolescent brain development, not much in this book was new for me. However, I'm grateful that it has been written for those who may not have the same opportunity to dive into larger works like those from Dean and Smith.

[Noah Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

The research on adolescent spiritual development in this book is impressive. The practical ideas that are offered are helpful and thought provoking. My only issue is that the median church size of the congregations studied was over 800 members. This overlooks a significant amount of churches in America who may not relate to some situations or solutions addressed. Regardless, I would recommend this book to any youth minister or anyone looking to help the spiritual formation of the youth in their congregation.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the premise of this book and gained a couple of nuggets from it, but overall I found it a little disappointing. Not that it wasn’t helpful, but it just wasn’t AS specific as I’d hoped it would be. I guess I was expecting a bullet list. Do this, this, and this, to help your child’s faith “stick”. But in the end, you can do a lot of these things, but ultimately it’s their choice. I felt that the strongest point of the book was that kids need to have other adult Christians besides yourself deeply involved in their lives. The authors suggest a 5:1 ratio (5 adults per child). Quite a bit of the book focused on the transition of children from high school to college/adulthood, and I guess while that is in my future, I’m just not there yet. I still am glad I read it though, and I think it’s just another reminder of how I should constantly be purposeful in my life and the example I’m providing for my children. I gave it 3 of 5 stars.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

highly recommended by my youth pastor brother in law, I read this book in 2 weeks. It was so encouraging and inspiring to myself as a parent, and answered a lot of questions for me as well. I love the practicality of it and the ideas to cultivate faith in your kids.

[Garrett Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book to change the perspective of parents on how to effectively instill their faith into their kids. Being intentional with our faith, and more importantly, living it out the best we can, are crucial in our kids faith development.
Seems ideas are somewhat cheesy, and may not work for your family, but many are great things that can help guide a family's thoughts back to faith everyday. Also, just a great book for general Christian parenting advice.

[Christa · Rating 5 out of 5]

So very grounding. Bottom line. Relationship and trust matter. Keep those open.

[Maria Pop · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource for parents!

[Jim Gribnitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly love Sticky Faith and am a part of their cohort program. I am knee-deep in it and love love love it. The Fuller Youth institute has done broad research (rather than basing it on narrow, contextualized situations - which is what most of my colleagues in ministry do) about how kids stick with their faith. It informs so much of what I do as a parent and as a pastor for children and youth, responsible for equipping families.

The portions on the sticky web of relationships is a game-chagner and I can see it play out completely in my ministry. It has been hugely helpful and I am confident that the fruit will be seen for years to come.

My only 'negative' is not really a negative but some clarifications are in order.
1) The reader might think that all you need is a small group and large worship service, no youth group. In reading the book it could be understood as such, though they do not take an official position on whether or not you should have a youth group or not. Since it is absent and not commented on, I know several that have read it that assumed, it is not needed. I know of a couple ministries that have done that exact thing (eliminated the mid-size 'youth group' because of reading this book.) Again - it is not the position of the Fuller Youth Institute either way, its just that it could have been clarified in my opinion.

2) There is a line that has thrown my congregation for a loop, since we are very in to short term missions - it is the ethos of our church. The book says that "short term mission trips, as we have always done them, do not produce sticky faith". If you read closely, and talk to those who lead the movement, you will see that they are not discounting mission trips altogether. The key phrase is "as we have always done them". In other words, we need to take mission trips and repurpose them to make them stickier, and the book describes somewhat how to do that but focuses more on local missions. I had some parents not sign their kids up after I recommended this book because they perceived that mission trips were not that big a deal to producing lasting sticky faith.

Due to the lack of clarity on those two issues I almost gave this stellar book 4 stars, but went back to 5. It is accurate, well-documents, and frankly written by people that care about kids, research, Christ, and his Church.

PS - The people who authored it are not just brilliant researchers. They are parents and active in their churches as well. They practice what they preach.

Recommend in the highest for parents of teens and soon-to-be-teens!

[David Ellis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Statistics with practical ideas on how to change them. Very easy worthwhile read for the Christian parent.

[Luke · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pretty good book that looks at how we can help pass faith on to our children and help children see their faith as something that will help direct their lives. Some good advice and ideas and encouragement. The authors have some other resources that I might look at.
"When kids don't feel abandoned - but instead supported - by their parents and other adults, they are more likely to develop Sticky Faith."
"Parenting is a lifelong expression of nurturing tenderness and unbridled love. It is a long-term adventure, with ups and downs and wins and losses. ... Parenting is a marathon, and pacing is what matters most."
"How you express and live your faith will have, all things being equal, a greater impact on your child's life than any other factor. ...What they see and hear and experience growing up with you will communicate more about the essence and veracity of faith than anything they face or anyone they know."
"Sometimes our children pursue ways of following Jesus that while different from our ways are nonetheless genuine and even exciting. ...We seek to maintain and strengthen the trust relationship with our children, even as they are seeking their own space to find their way. ...Stick with Jesus always, and trust Jesus to always stick with you and your family."

[Tom · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Sticky Faith research project comes out of the Fuller Youth Institute at Fuller Seminary. This is the parent's version (there is also a youthworker version). The book is essentially about the leading factors in fostering a Christian faith among young people that sticks beyond high school and carries throughout adulthood.
Many of the factors are obvious, but the real value of the book lies in the practical ideas. One of my ongoing struggles working with kids is balancing giving young people what they want with what they need. Sometimes these are one and the same, but sometimes it's the youthworker's job to think 5-10 years down the road and ask what kids need to wrestle with today in order to be prepared for tomorrow. It's the ongoing tension between a youth ministry that protects and a YM that prepares.
I've ordered the companion DVD curriculum as I think it would make for a good series with parents.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book, thoroughly based on exhaustive research on kids 'whose faith stuck with them through college.' Some key takeaways--Parental support and parental authentic faith will have the greatest impact over everything else. Kids need intentional faith in 1) understanding theology 2) money management 3) time management 4) finding a church community 5) understanding themselves -gifts, skills, personality and their identity in Christ 6) integrating service/generosity in their lives. They also need social Capitol ---5:1 (mentors to child) ratio in today's isolating environment. Intergenerational relationships and church wide participation are especially predictive. Need very specific advice/plan to walk through first two weeks and one letter from a mentor from home in that two week period has tremendous value. All of this was highly inspiring, full of thoughtful ideas as a parent and youth worker, and as such--I highly recommend it!

[Kelly Brill · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book in preparation for a sermon on our "Back to School Sunday." I would actually give it a 2 1/2 star! I struggle with some of the theology, but really appreciate some of the suggestions. For example, what if every church tried to have five adults supporting each youth...not in an official capacity, but what if each youth (by the time he/she graduates high school) could identify five adults who know them by name and care about them personally? I also love this advice to parents: "don't do for your child what they can do for themselves." The chapter on justice is excellent - just going on a mission trip doesn't necessarily transform youth. But ongoing justice work, combined with relationship-building, usually does. A good book for parents and those who work with youth in churches. Contains valuable insights, even if I don't agree with everything...as my friend Lois says, "Eat the fish and spit out the bones."

[V · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a pretty quick read and good for realigning my views about families and faith. The authors present research findings and offer practical suggestions that I'm sure I will try; however, their suggestions are just inspired by thee findings (as opposed to being research-tested in some way).

I appreciated how the book was written to be respectful and informative for people from a variety of faith backgrounds. However, for me personally, it was still a little on the cheesy side (in writing style and examples, not the main content).

I also thought it was a little too ad-y. Every chapter had some kind of reminder to go check out their web site. It gave me the feeling they were trying to sell me something, as opposed to sharing resources.

Overall, though, the message is solid and goes a different way than many christian parenting books.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Young people raised in the church are abandoning their faith at an alarming rate, usually in the college years. I've seen this play out myself in our former youth group. Although they were all on fire for Jesus in high school, only a couple of them even attend church any longer. This book gives a lot of helpful tips for how adults can interact with teens to help them make their faith "sticky" and lifelong. I really wish I had this book as a youth group leader. However, although my kids are younger, there are tips I can use already with them to help them make their faith their own. I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking as a parent than to watch your child turn their back on Christ. I hope I'll never have to experience that.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book with practical advice based on a research project documenting children raised in Christian homes and how they transition to college and live out their own faith. There were some surprising findings here, particularly about how families with strong faith do not necessarily talk about sex with their children (what?!?) and don't really proactively plan with them how they will transition to college life. I loved how this book emphasized listening, not lecturing (never explain something to your kid if you can ask a question instead), having youth participate in corporate worship, and surrounding your children with other believers who have invested in their life. This was definitely a thought provoking book and one we will consider reading with our small group.

[Jesse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having bought this at a Youth Ministry Conference I guess I misled myself into believing this to be of that topic. However, I am pleasantly suprised that it is more accurately categorized as a book for Christian parents. I realize all that does is display my own ignorance but in a world overfilled with 'why are we losing youth' books this was a refreshingly helpful guide. Full of constructive ideas, supported by research and it amazingly steers clear of the overarching generalizations most of its kind tend to rely on to characterize a whole generation of youth. I plan on sharing this book wit members in my small group. For once, the hype of a Christian book was totally warranted. Well done Kara & Chap

[Jonathan Markham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book and I strongly recommend anyone who has children or who wants to make a difference in young people's lives to read it. As a pastor I will certainly be encouraging everyone involved in our children's and young people's ministries to read it and talk about it! It is very challenging but also very practical in its suggestions. What could possibly be more important than passing on a living faith to the younger generation and this book will help readers do that. The content is solidly researched and the research methods carefully explained which underlines the credibility of its content. (One of the authors, Chap Clark, has written a similar book " Hurt - Inside the mind of today's teenagers" which is equally good)

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty obvious 6 topics for parents wanting their kids to stick with their faith (gospel, identity, conversations, relationships, justice, and bridges out of the home). Two chapters that make the book worth the read are "A sticky web of relationships" and "A sticky bridge out of home." Sticky web of relationships focus on a 5:1 adult to child ratio to provide mentorship and modeling from your church family. Bridge out of home helps prepare the student graduating from high school during the critical first 2 week period of college which sets the trajectory for how they intigrate their faith beyond the home.

[Jeff Bobin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This will open your eyes to why we adults are having so much difficulty getting our faith to stick with our kids as they grow up and move away to making their own decisions about God and faith.

You will be challenged to reeveluate the way your express your faith and also be challenged to look at if you are living out the faith you claim to have before you kids and their friends. They are watching and looking for something they can believe in and want it to be relevant to their journey in life.

If you are serious about passing on your faith to your children and willing to examine your effectiveness and maybe make some changes you will find this a great read.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

By far, one of the best most practical books I've read in a long time. The statistics and outlook provided at the beginning of this book were sufficiently sobering. However, the ideas that then followed were inspiring.

This was a great book to read right as I'm on the cusp of having a tween and teen. It is a book that was heavily highlighted and underlined and noted. I thoroughly enjoyed processing and discussing this book along with my mom's group bible study and I'm sure I'll reference it for many years to come.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sticky Faith had some great practical ideas on encouraging the growth and maturation of your child's faith. It is mainly concerned with the outcome of your child having a heart to take ownership of their faith for themselves. The beginning was a bit dry and weighted with (American) statistics but otherwise it was quick and easy read. It has left me with a lot to think about and ideas we want to implement in our family. I will be keeping this for reference.

[Tracy Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this. Such a good read for every Christian parent. This book is based on a lot of recent research that indicates that more and more kids leave the Christian faith in high school/college. The various reasons are surprising and have radically changed the way I talk about my faith with my kids. Great content that's inspirational (as opposed to fearful, which you know I despise) and that gives you action points. SO GOOD.

[Angie Giancola · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great information with regards to the importance of cultivating relationships between adults and students. Biggest critique: the student sample was very homogeneous. Not sure the statistics can or would be replicated in other areas of the country. Although the studies acknowledge this flaw in the methods section, it's important to recognize their findings may not translate in more racially, economically, and socially diverse areas.

[Sherry · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an insightful look into how to keep not just your kids, but kids in general in the church. I liked that this was backed up by research and what the real world had to say. It didn't shy away from the reality that our kids live in. I think this is positive reinforcement for anyone working with youth groups or teenagers.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

The trend of young adults leaving home and leaving their faith is concerning (though not surprising). These authors give background information on this trend, and practical how-to be intentional about interacting with your child so they don't leave the Christian faith for lack of personal commitment or information or relationship. Its good stuff, even for parents of littles.

[Josh Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grewt ideas for youth workers and parents on how to help students make faith their own. Connections with multiple adults and involvement is key. Its also interesting how introducing your kids to things they'll experience in college during their senior year can build in those conversations before they go.
I'm thankful that somehow mom figured out this stuff with me without this book.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read for parents and those working with youth. Although it took me a while to get through the book, the principles are good and it also supplied an abundance of ideas to put them into practice.