Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault

by Lindsey A. Holcomb, Justin S. Holcomb, Mark Driscoll (Foreword)

The statistics are jarring. One in four women and one in six men have been sexually assaulted. But as sobering as the statistics are, they don’t begin to speak to the darkness and grief experienced by these victims. Because sexual assault causes physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain, victims need clear help, hope, and healing. In Rid of My Disgrace, a couple experienced in counseling victims of sexual assault explains how the grace of God can heal the broken and restore the disgraced.

Justin and Lindsey Holcomb outline an approach for moving from destruction to redemption. While avoiding platitudes and shallow theology, Rid of My Disgrace combines biblical and theological depth with up-to-date research. This book is primarily written for those who have been assaulted (either as children or adults) but also equips family, friends, pastors, and others to care for victims in ways that are compassionate, practical, and informed. Part of the Re:Lit series.

Genres: Counselling, Christian, Nonfiction, Christianity, Psychology, Theology, Abuse

275 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 5, 2011

About the author

Lindsey A. Holcomb counsels victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. Previously, she worked a case manager at a sexual assault crisis center and a domestic violence shelter. Lindsey provided crisis intervention to victims of sexual assault and domestic violence and conducted a variety of training seminars to service providers. She earned a Master in Public Health with a focus on violence against women. Lindsey and Justin are authors of Is It My Fault? and a children's book, God Made All of Me.

Reviews

[Christina Thundathil · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am in the final part well section of this book. I was actually doing a search on DOD Sexual Assault reports when I came across this book. I have read every book you can imagine to find healing; preaching, prayer. You name it and I have done it. I had many questions that staff at my church could not answer; no one wants to preach on this. Its like a taboo topic and I was hurting badly. Still having thoughts of suicide while going to church and using laxatives to make myself skinny because I felt pressure from my Pastor to be accepted by him and his wife.

Reading this book as a multiple victim of sexual assault as a child and then in the military as helped me a great deal. It broke things down so as a victim I could understand and move to be being a survivor with the purpose that God has for my life. Understanding that the Holy Spirit carries this load with me, and that my church family should has brought me much peace. The light came on in so many places I just can't describe it. That God is Justice but I was convicted about my revenge because I served it more than God; it became an idol. That he understood; it was more like an inner washing and even though I am not completely healed from the military sexual trauma I am not where I was 6 months ago. I am so glad God put this in my Que to buy!

[Kristen Rosener · Rating 4 out of 5]

One in four women will experience sexual assault. That means roughly 25% of the women in your congregation have had their body violated. I went through this book slowly, sometimes reading with horror and other times reading through tears. The Holcombs have a wealth of knowledge about facts and statistics, but what I appreciated the most was their ability to distinguish pseudo "help" from real, gospel hope. It's easy to say, "Time heals all wounds" or "God won't give you what you can't handle" and then go about your business. But those things do not soothe the pain or give hope to people who have experienced the trauma of sexual assault. Survivors need more, and this book gives more. "Rid of My Disgrace" is practical, vulnerable, and raw but does not neglect the source of real help and healing - the gospel of Christ. Every pastor, every mentor, and every layperson should have this book on their shelf. And if you are a survivor of sexual assault, get this book and be encouraged by the power of grace and what it can do with your brokenness.

[Jacob · Rating 5 out of 5]

***Originally published at alivingoak.com***

One if four women and one in six men (sta­tis­ti­cally) will be sex­u­ally assaulted at some point in their lives. Which means, that if there are four women and six men who read this post, 1/5 of them will have been, or will be sex­u­ally assaulted in their life­time. That’s a stag­ger­ing amount of peo­ple. If you’re like me, you’re eas­ily left hav­ing a vague notion of the hor­ror of this sin, baf­fled with a bro­ken heart for the vic­tims of sex­ual assault, and won­der­ing, “How can Jesus help these peo­ple?!” Jesus says he comes to heal the bro­ken, surely if any­body can be described as bro­ken, it’s the vic­tims of sex­ual assault.

Justin Hol­comb and Lind­sey Hol­comb step along side us in Rid of My Dis­grace and help us see the glo­ri­ous power of Christ to give hope and heal­ing for vic­tims of sex­ual assault.

I’ll be hon­est, I read this book back­wards. I know, authors have their order of chap­ters for a rea­son, but I was far more con­cerned with how they ended the book then how they began it. Far too often peo­ple begin with good inten­tions of help­ing the bro­ken, but end in shady places. The Holcomb’s never even come close to this temp­ta­tion. In part three of Rid of My Dis­grace, “Grace Accom­plished”, they end, essen­tially, with a Bib­li­cal The­ol­ogy of how shame and grace inter­act through­out the Bible and cul­mi­nate in the per­son and work of Jesus Christ. They do this to help vic­tims of sex­ual assault find their sin’s place (both sins done against them and their own sins against God) in the story of God’s accom­plished redemp­tion plan in Jesus Christ.

There are two things to note here: 1) The Hol­combs do not play games with psy­col­o­giz­ing heal­ing for sex­ual assault vic­tims. They come into the issue with the Gospel in hand to offer Jesus to vic­tims. 2) Along these lines, the book is lit­er­ally lit­tered with Scrip­ture. They have a very inter­est­ing footnoting/endnoting sys­tem where all pas­sages of Scrip­ture quoted or ref­er­enced are foot­noted on every page, while works and authors are end­noted in the back. As I did a scan through the book, they hardly have a page or two with­out scrip­ture quoted or ref­er­enced help­fully at the bot­tom. This means that those who come to this book for help will be imme­di­ately directed to God’s Book, where they will find his grace for heal­ing and hope.

The rest of the book – you know, that part at the begin­ning that I cir­cled around and read out of order – is equally as help­ful as the end­ing. In part one, they sim­ply open up the issues involved in under­stand­ing what sex­ual assault is (chap­ter 1) and what its effects are (chap­ter 2). They define sex­ual assault, parse the words in what they mean, and help you under­stand how it applies to victims.

In part two they work through case stud­ies. Each of these sto­ries are heart­break­ing sim­ply by their real­ity. They open each sec­tion of “Grace Applied” with a person’s story of being the vic­tim of sex­ual assault, and then dis­cuss the par­tic­u­lar effect that sin had upon that per­son and how Jesus Christ is not only acquainted with that sin, but is the answer to its need of heal­ing. They work through denial, dis­torted self-image, shame, guilt, anger, and despair. All con­di­tions we are all aware of, but each sub­ject in the hands of the Hol­combs is skill­fully met with grace.

I have been deeply struck by how well the Hol­combs have sought to under­stand the vic­tims of sex­ual assault. They do not triv­i­al­ize their suf­fer­ing. They do not push it aside. But they also do not let it loom so large that its unan­swer­able or left uncared for. Through the course of the book, you see the eyes of Christ weep­ing for sin, and the hand of Christ offer­ing heal­ing for the needy.

I heartily rec­om­mend this book to all Chris­tians in our day. I give the only slight cau­tion of rec­om­mend­ing it to younger read­ers (15–18 y/o) sim­ply due to the con­tent of the tes­ti­mo­ni­als in part two. Par­ents will want to read through those sec­tions first and judge their own children’s matu­rity (or walk through the chap­ters with them). Oth­er­wise, this book will be an invalu­able resource for the church in help­ing them under­stand how the Gospel engages this per­va­sive sin in our day.

To Justin and Lind­sey, thank you so much for writ­ing this book. I know it is going to be mas­sively help­ful to the peo­ple of Christ. What I most deeply appre­ci­ated about how you addressed the issue in the book is that you don’t shy away from the heart break­ing hor­ror of the suf­fer­ing and evil of sex­ual assault, but you also don’t shy away from Jesus Christ and his Gospel. I saw a firm set­ting on the Gospel through­out the book that helped my soul grow ten­der like Christs for the peo­ple who are vic­tims of sex­ual assault. Thank you for this.

This wednes­day, I will be post­ing a fol­low up to this review with a ques­tion I posed to Pas­tor Justin about how those who are not vic­tims of sex­ual assault in the church can ori­ent them­selves to care for those who are.

Title: Rid of My Dis­grace: Hope and Heal­ing for Vic­tims of Sex­ual Assault
Authors: Just­ing S. Hol­comb and Lind­sey A. Hol­comb
Boards: paper­back
Pages: 209
Vol­umes: 1
Dust jack­ets: no
Bind­ing: glued
Top­i­cal index: yes (sub­jects and names)
Scrip­tural index: yes
Pub­lisher: Cross­way
Year: 2011
Price USD: $15.99 / $10.55 at WTS­Books
ISBN: 978–1-4335–1598-9

[Andy Huette · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up this book to get acquainted with the topic of sexual assault that I might be better prepared for ministry the local church. The book did accomplish the goal of giving me more awareness, understanding, and biblical reference for sexual assault, so it was worth the time to read (which turned into an ever-hastening skim).

However, it's not a book that I would hand out to victims of sexual assault. First, the short stories that precede chapters 4-9 are pretty graphic, disturbing, and wide-ranging. It was eye-opening to consider the evil that exists in this world, yet some of it was pretty disturbing and if a victim of one type of abuse reads of some of the other types in the book I'm not sure that it would be healing or helpful. Secondly, the book used a lot of Scripture. Sounds good, right? Yes and no. It's helpful as a resource to find applicable Scriptures to a given person's circumstances, but it was choppy to read because at times it felt like Scriptures being machine-gunned at me without much careful application (i.e. "You have despair? Jesus was acquainted with grief and despair. Now, onto the next verse . . " --not an actual quote, but that was the vibe). Third, there were a few parts that were just off base. For instance, one chapter on guilt began with the pronouncement to victims that their assault is not their fault. True. But then, the chapter went on to list prayers of confession from the Bible and seemed to suggest that the person needed to confess sin. Maybe I was skimming too quickly at that point, but it seemed very unhelpful. Fourth, the final section (chs. 10-12) of the book is a biblical theology pertaining to sexual assault. It was at this point that the book officially lost it's focus. The final three chapters are an excellent biblical theology, but they read like a seminary paper. I can't fathom a victim of sexual assault (for whom the preceding 9 chapters were primarily written), finding the final three chapters helpful (and that's from a guy who LOVES biblical theology!). As a preacher, I thought, "Hmmm... so this is what the congregation feels like when I go on a hiatus through the Old Testament geeking out on every little jot and tiddle that has any relevance to anything." I officially vow to do a better job of staying on topic in sermons because this book could have been far more helpful if it didn't turn into a seminary course down the home stretch.

[Kendra · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disjointed, repetitive, and boring is how I would categorize this book. I was surprised to see how many people rated it highly. I am a fast reader and this book of barely over 200 pages took me way longer to read than it should have. I actually kept falling asleep while I was reading it.

The book claims to be about sexual assault but large parts of the book don't even mention sexual assault or anything related to it at all, and instead go on to explanations of theology. Don't get me wrong, I think there is a place for the integration of the two but this book was supposed to be about sexual assault and how God can help you through the pain and the process of healing that comes with the experience. Instead I just felt like the authors were repeating the same theological statements over and over again.

The last two chapters don't mention sexual assault at all, not even to wrap everything up and give the book some closure. The personal stories would normally be the part that I enjoyed but they were short and seemed to just state that they got through the experience with the help of God's grace without saying how they got to that point. I would have liked to hear more about their stories and their processes of healing.

There has to be better books about sexual assault out there, I hope to read more on the subject and hopefully find some books that are helpful.

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my second time through this book and it bears being on repeat if you have experienced sexual assault, any other type of abuse, or interact with others who have.

I appreciate the framework of the book -- helping to identify what sexual assault is, different feelings that come up as a result of being abused, and then the Gospel. The pages are filled with biblical truths, throughout, but for those who feel that all hope is lost, that last section clearly, and specifically lays out how the sin committed against a person has been covered in the perfect life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and God's plan of redemption in both the Old and New Testaments.

Even if you've never experienced abuse, I would still recommend this book to any Christian. It will further your depth of understanding of those who have, and of the beautiful and mighty work of Christ over sin and evil.

[Lauren Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read it. Weep. Then read it again. One of the best examples of biblical grace applied to the hurting. Excellent, simply excellent.

[Brooke Phelan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book useful for insight on what a victim of sexual assault might experience. The appendices in the back that encourage proper dialogue with victims were probably the most helpful. It seemed the book was written for a pastor or counselor, and not so much for a victim or every day lay person. Full of scripture, which was great! Heavy emphasis on grace. Though I think someone who is in the vulnerable state might take that as accusatory almost? Not sure I would share this with a victim to read.

I appreciated the handling of the concept of forgiveness. “Instead of being a condition of forgiveness… Repentance is its necessary consequence.” The authors argued that a victim can offer forgiveness to their offender, even if the offender refuses to confess & repent. All this to take the control away from the offender. Interesting thoughts.

A lot of time is spent describing shalom, and how this fullness of peace was broken at the fall and solved by the atonement of Christ alone.
I believe the intent was to offer hope and encouragement. A lot of detail went into this concept, and I felt like the book took a pretty theological turn about halfway through that might be a bit much for someone processing this kind of harm.

I’m thankful for believers that are taking the time to wrestle with this very difficult reality in our world. I’m glad I read this book.

[Kevin Youngstrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal read. Weather you’ve been a victim of the sexual assault or you’re seeking to understand what SA is and the traumatic pain that it causes, this book is a great resource. Furthermore — the Holcombs don’t just describe SA, they point to the source of ultimate healing.

[Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book explores how grace, renewal, and forgiveness apply to the lasting effects of sexual assault. It would be beneficial for anyone to read because it is so clear in the presentation of the Gospel and speaks candidly about the devastating nature of sexual assault.

[Danny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding. This is a biblical, thoughtful, and incisive book dealing pastorally and wisely with a deeply complex and painful issue. Each chapter centres its thinking on biblical rather than secular values and approaches, and responds with grace and love to those who are traumatised by CPTSD and other responses to abuse. Not an easy read, but a realistic one. No pat answers, no glossing over hard facts and the reality of managing the chronic and acute debilitating effects of having dreadful sin committed against you. Helpful case studies - perhaps a trigger warning at the head of these chapters to indicate content, would improve the book.

The two closing chapters on grace in the OT and NT are amongst the best summary chapters I have read, on the redemptive and healing work of Christ. They would stand alone in any book on the cross work of Christ, aside from their usefulness here.

[Melinda Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life changing!

[Jared Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a deeply pastoral and insightful book that applies the gospel to the tragic reality of sexual assault that exists in our fallen world. This book is incredibly well researched and theologically accurate. Cannot recommend this book enough.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sexual assault is so prevalent as to be almost assumed among our culture today in some form or another. Even if you've never been technically raped, chances are you've experienced some form of shame in regards to your person and sexuality. This book has an amazing message of grace and redemption based on the beautiful and triumphant love of Christ Jesus as demonstrated on the cross.

One of the most powerful points of this book is the Holcombs' definitions of "assault", "consent", "abuse", "rape", etc. In a culture where there is an ongoing struggle to define those powerful words for legal reasons, many men and women are being forced into shame and silence believing that their experiences were warranted, justified or even asked for. As the authors define these words in terms of desire and harmony or the lack thereof, and as they show the effects of being objectified, there is freedom in calling assault and abuse what it really is.

Our ladies group went through this as a study together, addressing each chapter one by one. As we did it was surprising how many instances of abuse and assault came up. We realized how many sexual experiences women have that they actually did not initiate or desire, were coerced or pressured into and affected their view of God and their worth.

The most powerful aspect is the application of the gospel to the pain of shame and disgrace. The Holcomb's thoroughly and effectively explain the Gospel and how it applies not only to sins we are guilty of, but those committed against us. We no longer have to be victims of the sins of others. Jesus cleanses us of the effects of sin and defines our worth with his very life. We are precious, bought at a price.

This book is powerful and should be read by everyone in church leadership. Even if the shame one walks under is not related to sexual sin, this book will be effective in addressing how Jesus deals with sin and shame in our lives.

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for review for church resource area. The first 3 chapters were incredibly difficult to read and the stories before each chapter in the second section was also difficult to stomach. However, great book and the last section "Grace Applied" does an excellent job of surveying the theology of grace in both Old and New Testaments.

From a "technical" standpoint, it seemed like this was two different books by how it was broken down. The first two sections were very emotive and written to the reader under the assumption that they had been sexually assaulted, while the third section was very theological and read like a "Biblical Theology of Sexuality & Grace". However, none of this technical critique took away from the overall feeling I walked away with from the book.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Using the story of Tamar's rape at the hands of her brother as a template, Ride of My Disgrace is a book written to help victims of sexual assault find healing in God. This book is divided into three parts - the first part explores what sexual assault is and what the effects of it are, the second part looks at how God's grace affects the different affects of assault (shame, guilt, anger, etc) and contains personal stories, and the last part looks at violence and grace in the Bible. This book should be in every pastor's library as a resource to help the hurting.

[Chuck Relfe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not an easy read. A must read for anyone working, living, or ministering to those sexually assaulted. The writers are not just academic but have plenty of hands on experience documented. There are far more wounded by this around us than I realized. It is important to be able to see the signs and be able to be the Good Samaratin.

[Paula Wiseman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what powerful truth is contained in this book. I will be going back to it again and again.

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Early in the book there are passages that show the authors’ understanding around the topic of sexual violence. They keep coming back to their own definition of Grace and Disgrace in the context of sexual violence, and they connect their ideas to a few valid points that deal with the emotional states that you can be in after rape.

The authors lost me completely in the long passages that were simply too religious to be helpful for probably most survivors. And I definitely did not have the patience to will myself to understand how relevant the image of God and falling from grace might be in a rape case, because I do not feel taken seriously as a survivor when someone begins talking about how this is ultimately Adam and Eve’s fault:

‘They [Adam and Eve] were morally defiled because of sin.’ Kindle-Version.
…
‘God’s good creation is now cursed because of the entrance of sin.’ (Kindle-Version).

Mind, my last line is pointed, but the lecture in the book’s 3rd part boils down to not more than this, even though religiously inclined people might see this differently. And to be fair, the authors solve this dilemma by referring to the New Testament and the suffering of Jesus Christ for the salvation of all sinners.

This book is not for survivors who are looking for help outside therapy, and I believe it is probably not meant to fulfil such a purpose. Instead, it is a way of discussing a certain idea of grace and disgrace in the context of sexual violence. While chapter 10 still has a connection to sexual violence, chapters 11 (Grace in the Old Testament) and chapter 12 (Grace in the New Testament) do not even mention sexual violence, though violence in general is mentioned.

All in all, I was disappointed because sexual violence somehow appeared as just one, possibly arbitrary, way of getting into a discussion of grace and disgrace. Any other kind of violence with a victim and a perpetrator could have served the same purpose, and I felt misled, but that might also just have happened due to my expectations. So, if you are looking for a book that might help process sexual violence, this is maybe not the right title, unless you are looking for a religious context to explain such a crime.
3 out of 5 stars

[Toby Neal · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Holcomb's write a very helpful book on the subject of the sin of abuse and the shame it engenders do victims and survivors. It is well written and offers real hope. The stories of survivors show the horror of the subject but also show how the books ideas can change your life. While there are many books on dealing with abuse socially, emotionally Etc, this book deals with the subject theologically. What does God say about abuse? How can faith in God and an awareness of his grace help survivors and perpetrators? I also noticed a newer version has a helpful appendix which gives suggestions on what to say and what not to say to a victim. These can also be found online at the Holcomb's website.

One slight quibble is that the Holcomb's depend heavily on Cornelius Plantinga's "vandalism of shalom" paradigm. As DA Carson has shown, this approach is not wrong but it possibly obscured the Bible's teaching on sin. Carson says, "Human sin in Gen 3 certainly destroys human relationships and brings a curse on the creation, but treating this comprehensive odium as the vandalism of shalom makes it sound both too slight and too detached from God. After all, the fundamental act was disobeying God, and a central ingredient in the temptation of Eve was the incitement to become as God, knowing good and evil."

Besides this, the book is excellent.

[Rose · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was incredibly difficult to read, and I hope all survivors and victims of SA take its contents with a grain of salt.

The book did a really good job at articulating different ways assault and harassment can play out in society, and did well in pointing to scripture to remind those of Christian faith that SA is not their fault. The author was able to expertly explain that SA is not always a stranger attacking an unknown child in an alleyway, but can actually be perpatrated by "loved ones". However, the sweeping generalisations that positive self-talk has little to no benefits on mental wellbeing and recovery felt really out of place. I had so much hope that this book would be a meaningful resource for victims, but unfortunately I would not, in good faith, recommend this book to friends, family, or community members.

Too many aspects of book really missed the mark with damaging rhetoric, and I hope that anybody who picks it up is in a good enough headspace that they are able to discern what is, and what may not be, meaningful advice.

In saying that, my heart goes out to anybody who was drawn to reading this book - either for taking the time to look after yourself, or to empathise with the struggles of others.

[Lauren Berry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is great for those who want to understand how to better be an advocate and counselor to those who have experience sexual assault. It draws out how to provide hope and healing for victims with the gospel, and has no shortage of examples rooted in scripture of how God cares who those who have been oppressed and egregiously wronged.

The chapters are also separated by different stories and accounts of people who have been through these hardships providing a wide array of what sexual assault, abuse or rape can look like as it can be hard for victims to articulate/looks different for everyone.

There are certain chapters that also talk about symptomology of survivors to help the reader as well as the counselee better understand why they are going through what they are as well as what life afterwards may look like-especially since trauma presents itself so differently for everyone.

Just as a warning, this book is not for the faint of heart but the content is extremely important since the reality is, 1 in 4 women experience SA in their lifetime and 1 in 6 men do as well.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is treasure.

personal thoughts:
•Part 1 is really concise & helpful in growing in understanding sexual assault, and more broadly oppression/abuse & its impacts.
•Part 2 is (can I say this?) worth its weight in gold. It speaks words of life to anyone who deals w denial, distorted self image, shame, anger (everyone ?). There are a few chap I foresee going back to for life.
•the real-life stories are heart-wrenching.
•the last two pages are beautiful.

•Part 3 feels a little bit academic. It’s content is rich and I so appreciated the approachable way that so much theology & redemptive history has been summarized. It did feel a little bit out of place (?)
•the chap on Despair i feel could benefit from more biblical nuance. It’s keys in on Romans 8, which—yes, tis a passage proclaiming future hope, giving perspective to present despair. In this, might it be caring to those in despair/depression to share broader Scriptural counsel, which includes lamenting and grieving alongside yearning (hoping) for future restoration?

[Diane Glover · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very good book for people who even think they MIGHT have been sexually assaulted. And you might ask yourself how someone could not know for sure. Well, the definition of it in this book will CLARIFY ANYTHING that might be considered sexual assault, and it does it very well. So the first half is about defining it. The middle is stories of other people and the last half is the Biblical part, though the Bible is used and taught throughout the book, it is focused on in the last half. Included is a VERY lengthy Appendix. AND Also a list of questions and things to NOT SAY TO SOMEONE who has been sexually assaulted. Overall I gave this book 3 stars. Its is very good. Sometimes wordy. But perhaps it is something that I have kind already worked through, so it wasn't earth shattering information to me. BUT I can see where others who are just beginning their journey to recovery would benefit from it.

[Josiah Richardson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sexual abuse is an issue that will inevitably be brought up in counseling sessions and it is one that pastors need to know how to approach. The Holcomb's provide a collection of stories from sexual abuse victims and surround those stories with a lot of statistics and other data, and then provide a foundation on how to address those issues and be a source of help for those who have been victimized. This book begins with providing the context of sexual abuse and what it means to be abused, followed by the consequences that come *after* being abused, and then ends with the grace that helps those who have been hurt to overcome or at least cope in a healthy way with what has taken place.

Eye opening, sad, helpful, and reassuring.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A useful read for both those who have been abused and those who have a loved one who has been abused. It gives a clear picture of what abuse is and what its effects are. It also details what Scripture says about abuse and its effects as well as God's heart towards those who have been abused. Gospel hope and help. The personal stories were hard to read, but important because those who have been abused understand more fully that they are not alone, and those who have a loved one who has been abused understand more fully what abuse looks like and how grievous it really is.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a difficult read, whether you are a victim or not. I am sure you know victims, though, as do I. Too many victims.

This is a powerful, and deep, resource for victims. While it is primarily for sexual assault, I would encourage any victim of abuse, or anyone working with victims of any abuse, to read this book.

I plan on reading this several more times through, as it is too much for me to get in one pass.

[Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, informative, hope-filled, and saturated with Scripture. Can’t speak from the perspective of a victim on how helpful this book is, but I know I have been immensely helped by this book and learned so much about walking with victims of abuse and so much about the character of God and the hope of the gospel. This book made me both weep over the depravity and effects of sin, and rejoice in my Savior. One of my favorite reads in the past year. I think everyone in the church should read it.

[Courtney · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I think this would be helpful for those caring for victims of sexual assault, I would NEVER recommend this to a victim to read even though victims are supposedly the targeted audience (which was not consistent). Perhaps it could be helpful for some, but I would think it would be triggering and harmful for most (especially the graphic stories), and I would not be willing to risk that.

I wanted so badly to love this book, but I am very disappointed.

[Matthew Forsythe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the information was good from a professional level and for those who haven't experienced sexual abuse themselves. For those who have, it can come across as a bit condemning and at times add additional shame for the way a victim dealt with their abuse. I don't recommend this for survivors but may to someone who just wants general information.