I wasn’t going to review this book because I really have no business tearing down an author’s hard work and ripping on their book they pushed through publishing. But this isn’t meant to be a hate comment or a mean-spirited comment. There are some spoilers ahead, but I feel like they’re necessary to illustrate my point and if you still want to read this book after reading them, then nothing is going to stop you.
It’s just after reading so many people damning Tori and praising Jesse, I wanted to point out how crazy their relationship was on his end. He was physically, mentally, and sexually abusive and if Tori wasn’t inconsistent with her characterization, I would actually sympathize with her.
On one hand, she is a girl who has been pushed around her whole life with no strong male figure in her life to show her how she should expect them to act. She doesn’t know how to stand up for herself and now she has a giant responsibility of raising four kids and is just trying her best.
But on the other hand, she’s supposed to be a spitfire woman who is sassy and fierce and all that good stuff. It doesn’t balance out and it makes me dislike her because she comes off so disillusioned.
How can she be this “fiery woman” one minute and a blubbering mess the next?
She never stood up and took control of her life. That does not mean she deserves to be an object of obsession.
Jesse is an abuser throughout this book I found myself growing to be afraid of him. And I’ve read ACOTAR.
Example of sexual abuse:
Tori wakes up one morning while he is touching her inappropriately. Touching a woman’s breasts while she’s asleep isn’t a romantic way to wake up, it’s assault (especially since they were not in a consenting relationship here). Also, other than the first time they slept together, the consent was hazy at best. And I don’t count “Are you sure?” “Yes, but I’m scared” as consent, really. And if this doesn’t scream abuse, then I don’t know what does:
“You are sleeping here, in my house, in my bed. If that’s being too bossy, then so be it.” He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
“Unable to speak, she concentrated on breathing until he placed her on the bed. She sank into the soft mattress. Wide eyed, she tried to scoot off, but he laughed playfully and wrapped his arm around her waist. With a quick tug, he pulled her to him, and then covered her mouth with his own warm one.
Her weak attempt to push him away failed when he took the kiss deeper and filled his hand with her full breast.” (Pg. 137)
Example of physical abuse:
Jesse is constantly grabbing her and she fights the urge to rub her elbow at one point because he actually hurt her. I know what you’re thinking, but Jesse said he would never hurt Tori!!! Oh contraire. He does. All the time. Not usually physically, but once is enough and it was more than once. Also, using his strength to force her into his house in the excerpt above was a more than a bit unacceptable too.
Example of emotional abuse:
-Arranging a wedding despite her protests and becoming threatening when she argues with him about it
-The whole scene where she says she doesn’t want to marry him and he says he isn’t giving her a choice
-when she says she doesn’t want for anything to happen sexually between them but he gets in her bedroll anyway under pretense of just warming her up in a non sexual way
-bossing her around constantly and making decisions for her like getting the pastor’s wife to cover her baking despite Tori’s clear objections
-pressuring her into sex and not having a clear conversation about why she feels like she isn’t ready
-Having her design parts of his house while assuring her it isn’t some weird ploy to get her to move back in when it is really a ploy to get her to move back in
-How he talked to/ treated her after the miscarriage
- Etc. Etc. Etc.
The miscarriage was another thing entirely. When Tori loses her baby, she finds herself in the Twilight Zone of people who don’t know what the heck to say to someone who has had a miscarriage. It’s hard for me to believe that anyone who didn’t find something fishy about the following quotes is a mother:
“These things happen... think of it as God’s way of preventing a weak life... you must view this as a blessing.”
“I’m sorry about the baby. It was mine too, honey, but you’ll heal and, in time, there will be more.”
“These things happen, and one day there will be more babies.”
“Some babies just don’t ‘take’ and you lose them. It happened to me one time, too.”
Etc. Etc. Etc.
I can’t imagine the pain of miscarriage but it felt so wrong to see the entire cast of characters gloss over it like losing a tooth or having to flush a goldfish. Especially Jesse. It felt like a tool to create sexual tension and an emotional rift between the characters so they could have conflict before the big reconciliation. A tragedy such as losing a child is an inappropriate way to go about that.
Overall, if things had been different, I might have rated this novel higher. But Jesse is a terrifying abusive creep who sexualizes Tori’s most mundane activities (eating steak, tying her boots, wearing any clothes, etc.) and I don’t understand why I haven’t read a single review pointing this out. Tori wasn’t my favorite by ANY means, but at least she wasn’t a domineering character abusing the upper side of a power imbalance. Praising Jesse seems impossible to me, and my favorite part of the novel is where Tori makes the mature decision to take some space from him and try to figure things out.
She just figured them out wrong and went back.
No woman deserves this treatment. Not Tori. Not anyone. Obsession isn’t love and abuse isn’t romance, and I’m such of seeing both tropes glorified in the romance genre.
Tori was not “made for loving” She was made to have her own life and ambitions and she has the right to be an irrational, crazy woman who doesn’t want a man if that’s what she says she wants. Using force is not the way to win her, it’s the way to break her. I could go on and on and on.
But I’ll end with this: Jesse please learn how to eat cookies properly please and thank you. That’s all.