I have long been what I have expressed as 'a serious fan of Burroughs'. Having read many of his books during my late 20s mainly, and also 30s. I had come to consider him a man who could stretch my mind into places I never knew before were possible. Add to this the steadfast integrity, by which I mean, that rare and precious thing of always meaning what he said and wrote and did, I was in awe of the man. For he found no value in the moralising and propriety given by society, though did generally seem, through his books, to try generally to be a decent chap. However, through reading his letter collections I found a sad soul, a tormented heart...Collections of letters bring to the fore a more personal side of any writer. It is where they show themselves for one, often bearing parts of themselves which is intended only for the recipient to witness. I have tried a fair few letters offerings of my favourite writers, and only Hunter S Thompson maintained my enthusiasm enough to go through every one and laugh and feel inspired to write and to find something of a role model, in some of his behaviour. Burroughs' letters are, however, saddening. And so I was prepared for a major opening up of his existence from birth to demise to sadden me more than bring joy and laughter to my life and times...
We turn away too easily from anything which is beyond the scripted, prescribed idea of existence. Which is not exclusively a Western problem, its an eastern and northern and southern problem. Each culture has its customs, its beliefs, its damn scripts. Yet it is those who speak beyond the scripts, who not exactly don't care of how confronting the script will cause unease, but feel strongly that for their own lives to mean something to them, they must blaze their own trail. This way of living, due to the script, due to the encouraged, directed, prescribed mode of safety and comfort in numbers, leads always to sadness...
The is by far the most powerful and engaging biography I will ever read. It delves deep. It goes not just into hideous at times detail of the expansive voyage of a man who had the opportunity and grasped at it fully, to live life focused on always learning, always trouncing on so called boundaries, always traveling, always seeking new experiences, but also into how such a man came to be.
Many will be disgusted. And likely put the tome down too soon. Would that bother William? Possibly. For he wrote of his horror, he wrote of his ugliness, and always always always played down, if even mentioned the beauty of his twisted soul. It was always others who noted this. Not him. He lived his pain and tried to own it, to fight it, to beat it. And clearly he took only pain from knowing and feeling he had hurt anyone.
Some will consider him a destructive, entitled white fiend of the lowest order. Yet I suspect those same people are the kind to always project a white as a doves back purity and moral superiority. Which doesn't render their opinion worthless, just less valuable. For those who live with masks of nowt but purity are unlikely to add anything to your own existence (their's in turn) other than that dead breeze of safety in numbers. Watch the adverts and comedy and laugh when you are supposed to. Speak to others in scripted bullshit knowing you never move beyond the pale and find comfort in this. To me this isn't living. For we are all beasts at heart and in spirit. There is not much difference between men and dogs. We are mainly eager for herding and far more deeply prone to tribal customs, without ever questioning not just the guidelines, but the Overseer.
He knew the power of words, and set out to find the source of their power. To do battle with everything he found in order to defeat the word virus././ Sounds silly. To some...Yet the reality is that our lives are more affected by words than anything else, and most words we hear do seem like a carefully engineered virus. Maybe he had a point with this avenue of investigation.
Burroughs was appalling, he was a drunk, he was a junkie, he hurt people, he upset people, he shot his wife, he was a terrible father who paid the ultimate cost of this(as did his son). He was also sincere, well intended, forgiving, charitable, of no interest of the limelight unless it could further his own investigations into what his constantly altered perceptions considered life. He delved into too many mysticisms and spiritual paths and philosophies to detail here and now. And could move from demanding nothing less than acceptance of these paths from all others around him, dogmatically. Yet he knew when he had done wrong, and always tried to right his wrongs. He couldnt. Yet at least he tried.
William Burroughs lived, deeply, truly, wonderfully, woefully, madly, passionately, and possessed an intellect that comes along once in a lifetime.
This book does his life some justice. It inspires as much as it causes discomfort if not total horror to believe that a man could live in such a way, to such a grand old age, with cats and guns and dressing gown to comfort him near his End.
Barry Miles has done a superb job of detailing an existence and the reasons for every turn and twist and straightening and mistake, with sympathy, with understanding, in such a way, that the only net result for me personally, when finishing the tome is...that I must raise my sails higher, catch even the slightest hint of a breeze to delve where my mind spirit and heart are tempted to delve...for this man, this Mr Burroughs, never stopped seeking to grow, to learn, to burn, to yearn, to try and always fail to love...to lose, to examine everything possible, to try everything possible and always to dream...
The best of the human scourge have no interest in calling themselves amazing.
Nothing is certain. Anything is possible...(William's finest lines I ever read)
He lived in the shadows as freely and openly and dangerously as he did in the light.