Aloha from Hell

Sandman Slim #3

by Richard Kadrey

All hail Sandman Slim, author Richard Kadrey’s ultra-extreme anti-hero and recent escapee from Hell.

Legendary author William Gibson (Neuromancer) called Kadrey’s first deliciously twisted Slim adventure ‘an addictively satisfying, deeply amusing, dirty-ass masterpiece’, and in number three, Aloha from Hell, the ruthless avenger, a.k.a. Stark, finds himself trapped in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell.

With God on vacation, the Devil nosing around in Paradise, and an insane serial killer doing serious damage on Earth, Stark/Slim is ready to unleash some more adrenaline-surging, edgy and violent supernatural mayhem — and even pay another visit to Hell if necessary.

Genres: Urban Fantasy, Fantasy, Horror, Fiction, Paranormal, Supernatural, Audiobook

455 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 18, 2011

About the author

Richard Kadrey is a writer and freelance musician living in Pittsburgh, best known for his Sandman Slim novels. His work has been nominated for the Locus and BSFA awards. Kadrey's newest books are The Secrets of Insects, released in August 2023; The Dead Take the A Train (with Cassandra Khaw), released in September 2023; The Pale House Devil, released in September 2023.

Reviews

[Jeffrey Keeten · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)

Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)

Give him two lips like roses and clover
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)

Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
Bung, bung, bung, bung

Whirrr whap whap tic tic tic screeeeech!

STOP THE RECORD!!!

Sandman Slim…….. ain’t that kind of Sandman.

He has just recently returned from HELL, after kicking Lucifer’s ass around, so much in fact that Lucifer changed his name to Samuel and now resides in Heaven. That was an ass kicking long overdue. Sandman has returned to Earth to take up running his video store. Although Kasabian the Headless insists that Sandman may own the store, Kasabian runs it.

Did you catch that headless part?

Yeah, well Sandman and Kasabian had a disagreement...well... a little more than a disagreement. Kasabian shot Sandman, and Sandman cut his head off. There was some Hoodoo involved, and now the living head makes his way around on a skateboard with little feet.

This might be a good time to mention that you really need to read the books in order. Anything that sounds hinky or too out of this world will make perfect sense after a couple of margaritas and maybe one of those “funny” cigarettes I’ve been hearing about.

Anyway, Sandman is starting to get the yawns. ”It’s so quiet and peaceful out here I’m getting bored with breathing. Maybe we’ll get lucky and the world will go to Hell again. Fingers crossed.”

He missed chopping up demons like Margaret Thatcher missed bending House of Lord’s ministers over her desk for a good spanking.

Sandman and I share a love of pop culture references.

”The Beat Hotel…. I’t like a cross between a seventies swingers no-tell motel and the kind of hipster hot spot where rock stars stay when they don’t want to be seen bringing home good smack or bad strippers. The rooms are comfortable in a Zen halfway-house kind of way. But the kitchens are decorated in bright primary-colored vinyl like a Playboy-chic burger joint. The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver’s mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milk shakes. I love it.”

This description reminds me of the motels that the Winchester Boys from Supernatural always seem to find themselves holed up in.

Sandman and I also share a dislike of self-indulgent automobiles. ”I hate those luxury golf cars. Gaudy status symbols with as much personality as an Elmer’s-Glue-on-white-bread sandwich.” Now he is speaking about a Lexus, but the one that I loath is the love affair that shallow, corporate zombies have with their BMWs. Could that brand of car be any more humdrum to look at? They are the beige of the car world in my opinion. They might as well have just bought the most plain jane Ford they can find and pay half. I had an ex-friend who had her BMW hit in a parking garage, and she kept going on and on about how upset she was, and I kept thinking maybe that car has some character now.

Sandman gets shot; no worries, he is some kind of half Nephilim, a race that doesn’t exist anymore except in the DNA replicating in his own internal world. It is tough on nice jackets though. ”I pick up the coat. Finger the bullet hole. It’s not bad enough to throw the coat away. Besides, I heard that blood is the new black.”

He finds out that the soul of his recently deceased girlfriend has been captured from Heaven and spirited away to HELL. He’d be upset about all this except for the fact that he is almost out of Maledictions (hell’s best brand of cigarettes), and he has been getting itchy feet over L.A. being way too tame.

Hell hasn’t been the same HELL ever since Lucifer left. It was time for Sandman to go down, save the girl, and make a few attitude adjustments.

”Go to hell see if you like it
Then come home with me
Tomorrow night may be too late
The world’s a mess it’s in my kiss”
--The X

Nothing but irreverent, laugh out loud fun. Lucky for me Richard Kadrey has already written several more. This is the perfect book series to read when I need to take a long stroll away from the regular world. Sandman Slim ain’t no angel, and for a little while I don’t have to be either.

If you wish to see more of my most recent book and movie reviews, visit http://www.jeffreykeeten.com
I also have a Facebook blogger page at: https://www.facebook.com/JeffreyKeeten

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actual rating: 4.45 stars. Such a ridiculously low rating. Shame on me and stuff.

So. Embarrassing Confession Time (ECT™): there was a point when I reading my boyfriend's latest adventures this book when I actually considered going for a 3.5-star rating.



I know, dear boyfriend #4572 Cary, I know. I should probably go hide in an undersea cave or something. To atone for this most ignominious behavior and stuff. Yeah, I have to admit this wasn't one of my mostest gloriousest moments. In my defense, I must say that this instalment feels a little like, you know, a, well, how could I put it nicely, um, errr, what's that obscure word that starts with an f and ends with an r? Can't seem to remember now. Early signs of Alzheimer's and all that crap. Sorry, what? *clueless barnacle whispers inaudibly in my lovely little ear* Bloody shrimping filler is the word I was looking for? Are you sure? Seems a bit melodramatically excessive to me, but there's a slight chance you might not be entirely wrong. Maybe. I mean, there's a slim possibility that the first 80% 70% of this book could be not exactly fascinating. Or supercalifragilisticexpialidociously titillating. And perhaps a little not super exciting, too. But that is all highly hypothetical, obviously. And would have to be confirmed by extensive and intensive research at the hands of an intergalactic, multi-species, much-limbed team of challenged scientists.



Had this instalment actually been of the filler type (which has yet to be proven, remember?), its last 20% 30% would have more than made up for the supposed lack of stimulating substance. Because the whole Convergence business was slightly awesome you don't know what the Convergence is? So? Is it my fault you haven't read this book? and the Tartarus thing was bloody shrimping fantastic you don't know what Tartarus is? So? Is it my fault you haven't read this book? . Then there's the action and violence and bloodshed and stuff. And the twists and revelations and surprises, oh my! I'm not talking about good surprises here, obviously. Good surprises are for wimps. This deliciously noir world is pretty much all bad stuff all the time. A delightful, never-ending loop of things getting downhill from there. And don't think you can get away from bad stuff just because you've just been killed dead. You can always get excruciatingly deader, you know.



See? Even good old Bikram agrees. So put a gleeful smile on your face and go pet the fluffy Hellhounds. You're going to have lots of fun getting chopped into tiny little pieces!

So yeah, this Not Filler of an Instalment (NFoaI™) does turn out to be kinda sorta shrimptastic after all. And, to be disgustingly honest, it's not only because of the fiercely scrumptious last 20% 30%, either. I mean, this world. THIS world. My black, withered heart lurves it so much. It keeps getting darker and twistier and complexer (yes, that is a word) and therefore, more delectably delectable. Also, there is the slightly wondrous plot. Which keeps thickening beautifully and stuff. And Kadrey's gloriously sensational bam-take-that-in-your-lovely-face writing. And the crazy-good-hilarious dialogues. And the ever-growing cast of magnificently splendid wicked weirdoes characters is magnificently splendid: my girlfriend Candy, Allegra, Vidocq and Kasabian (aka the mostest awesomest corpseless head ever) are as fabuloustastic as ever. By the way, I may want to adopt Muninn in the near future. Especially now that I know he is Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler in his spare time Okay, so his brother Neshamah is sort of a devious bastard, but since he happens to think my boyfriend is a pain in the ass, he can't be entirely bad . Also kidnapping adoption-worthy: Mustang Sally I dare you not to start singing. Oops, too late! and Medea Bava. Because slightly duplicitous supernatural chicks are the new black. And let's not forget Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler (aka the ottoman repairman)! Such a cool, good-natured guy! You really couldn't ask for a better travelling companion!



What? Don't believe me? Think the bullshit is strong in this one? I wonder why. The ottoman repairman really is an enchanting chap. I mean, he had lots of fangirls in London, back in the good old days.

And then there's my boyfriend. He's so kind and loving and compassionate and noble and stuff.

"John Wayne wouldn’t shoot a man in the back, but that’s my favorite target."

Sigh. How can you not fall head over pincers for a guy who says that kind of thing? He really is a charmer, my man. He's never disrespectful, either. Or unpleasant. He doesn't know what the word snarky means. Recklessness is a concept completely foreign to him. And he abhors violence. The guy is perfect husband material, if you ask me. Okay, maybe not so at the beginning of this book. I mean, my Stark is feeling a bit down here. Probably because he hasn't slaughtered things for a few weeks. Which, you have to admit, is pretty dispiriting. I'm pretty sure anyone in the same situation would fall into a deep depression. Who/what is to blame for this most revolting turn of events, you ask? Why the haloed bastard of course! My boyfriend has a problem, you see. He has to share his glorious little head with one of the supercharged assholes (aka the asshole angels). No wonder he wants to punch his own brain all the time. I would, too, if a divine squatter was trying to have me play freaking hero 24/7. When all I wanted to do was go all homicidal maniac on everyone and everything.



Because harboring murderous feelings towards humanity is the key to eternal youth and beauty, my dear Battie.

But worry not, for my boyfriend won't let his current predicament deter him! No he won't! He is bloody shrimping Sandman Slim, for shrimp's sake! He is better stronger than this! He is not about to let a haloed bastard bring out the best in him! So he reunites with his ferociously kick-ass self, does the Convergence/Tartarus Thing (CTT™) still don't know what this is all about, do you? Hahaha. It's so sad and gets—very logically—his lethal groove back. Behold Sandman Slim 2.0! Spoiler spoiler spoiler! And spoiler spoiler spoiler! Oh wow, my boyfriend is the new Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler! Which makes me Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler's girlfriend! Talk about an evil upgrade! My life is now complete! I can now get slaughtered in peace die happy and stuff!



Yeah, that's pretty much me right now. Because even nefariously vindictive beings can feel ferociously blissful sometimes.

» And the moral of this Well Well Well Looks Like this Kinda Sorta Filler is More Refreshingly Filling than Ninety Eight Percent of the Crap I Usually Read Extra Super Crappy Non Review (WWWLLtKSFiMRFtNEPofCIURESCNR™) is: you know you've found one of your soulmates when his acting like a boring ass a little disappointingly 80% 70% of the time doesn't dampen your all-encompassing animal lust devotion for his deliciously ruthless, antihero-ish little self. QED and stuff.

· Book 1: Sandman Slim ★★★★★
· Book 2: Kill the Dead ★★★★★
· Book 3.5: Devil in the Dollhouse ★★★★★
· Book 4: Devil Said Bang ★★★★
· Book 5: Kill City Blues ★★★★
· Book 6: The Getaway God ★★★★★
· Book 7: Killing Pretty ★★★★
· Book 8: The Perdition Score ★★★★★
· Book 9: The Kill Society ★★★★★
· Book 10: Hollywood Dead ★★★★★
· Book 11: Ballistic Kiss ★★★★
· Book 12: King Bullet ★★★★★



[Pre-review nonsense]

Sigh. Looks like my new boyfriend kinda sorta suffered from a sudden attack of Acute Filler Book Syndrome (AFBS™) here.



Yes, it is indeed sad and slightly heartbreaking and stuff, BUT! BUT BUT BUT! See my Not That Crappy Rating Up There (NTCRUT™)? It should tell you something! Yes it should! What should it tell you, you ask? Why to get ready to dance, obviously.



➽ Full My Boyfriend Might Be a Little Under the Hellish Weather but He Still is His Deliciously Delicious Self Ergo I am Still Somewhat in LURVE with Him Crappy Non Review (MBMBaLUtHWbHSiHDDSEIaSSiLwHCNR™) to come.

[Choko · Rating 4 out of 5]

*** 4.44 ***

"..."Well, welcome to the Grindhouse Rodeo, Father, where it’s monster triple features all the time. The popcorn’s stale and the drinks are watered down, but we’re open all night and deities have to sit in the balcony with the winos and rubber-raincoat types.” ..."

If you feel like reading something that is like listening to AC/DC and Metallica rolled in one but in book form; if you are tired of everything around you and don't want to tolerate anything in bright colors and pinks plus feel-good drivel; and if you are just in a mood to yell out !F@#k You! to the world, then this series and this book in particular is for you! Kadrey really channels his angry through Sandman Slim here and no one is spared his wrath, be it physical, verbal or emotional. I wish I had an imaginary proxy of myself who can emote all the rage, anger and hurt I have ever felt and put it out there, away from my soul... This is what this felt like, a purging of emotion, even when the author himself makes a joke of his childish and teenagerly emo-tantrums, but also the pain of seeing the seemingly perpetually repeating mistakes humans make generation after generation, hurting no one but themselves.

"...“This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us sex and told us not to do it. You played three-card monte with our souls from day one, and when we couldn't find the queen, you sent us to Hell to be tortured for eternity. That was your great plan for humanity? All you gave us here was daisies and fairy tales and you acted like that was enough. How were we supposed to resist evil when you didn't even tell us about it?”
― Richard Kadrey, Aloha from Hell ..."

This is the third book in the series about Jim Stark, or as he is known in Hell - Sandman Slim, the monster who kills monsters. After being sent to Hell alive by his frenemy Mason, Stark spends 11 years "downtown" fighting every day for his survival... Eventually, thanks to a very special key, he is able to return to Los Angeles. It has been a bit since he has been home and things have happened, but Mason, who is now in Hell himself, is once again challenging him and the g-ds themselves. He is already ruling Hell in the absence of Lucifer and now, with the help of a power obsessed insane angel, is about to storm the gates of Heaven with the armies of hellions. But first he needs to lure Sandman Slim back to Hell and kill or otherwise find a way to control him. Jim is only too happy to oblige...

"...“It's so quiet and peaceful out here I'm getting bored with breathing. Maybe we'll get lucky and the world will go to Hell again. Fingers crossed.”
― Richard Kadrey, Aloha from Hell ..."

So Slim is back in Hell and we get to see it through his eyes for the first time. There are levels to Hell and different creatures, constant strife and once again, that grind to survive - obviously, Hell is much closer to our daily lives than any of us have ever thought. But it is all screwed up, warped since Mason has taken over and Jim has to get his bearings and them take care of business...

"...“The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes.”
― Richard Kadrey, Aloha from Hell ..."

This is pure pulp-noir with demons! If it sounds like something you might enjoy, give it a try!😈😈😈

Now I wish you Happy Reading and may you always find what you Need in the pages of a Good Book!!!

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

“When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not."

This has been one of the most enjoyable series to read for me, and I really was looking forward to reading this one. I love the small horror subgenre of Christian horror. Kadrey does a fabulous job at trying to bring as much real Christian religion into these fiction horror novels.

James Stark, also known as Sandman Slim is the ultimate antihero. He is after all, Lucifers private body guard. If you are not familiar with Sandman Slim, he is a man of magic that was sent to hell alive. He fought for his life, he fought for Lucifer’s generals, and he fought for the fun of it. He was a gladiator that fought Hells’ minions and then lived to tell about it. He was unaware that he was a Nephilim, half human and half an angel. This means that he is very hard to kill. He is also very good at killing. He is adept at hoodoo, hexes, and spells, which add to his ability to maim and murder. His heritage makes him a perfect soldier, as getting hurt only makes him stronger. He is also a bit psychotic as well, as he has internal conversations with his angel side that he keeps penned up like a battered dog.

Kadrey does a fabulous job at adding wit and humor to his writing. He likes to throw in clever snide remarks. This humor adds a great deal of fun to the action, and makes Stark a very likable bad ass.
“IF YOU’VE EVER wondered if your life has run off the rails, here’s a handy quiz.
Is the only person left in the universe you can go to for help someone even God doesn’t want to talk about?
Is the only alliance left to you with a gang that eats and shits chaos?
Are you about to drunk-dial the only guy in Creation who’s probably more despised than you?
If you answered yes to any of these, then you should seek psychiatric help. If you answered yes to all of them, you’re me.”


The three books all center around Stark’s plans and actions to try and destroy Mason, his archenemy. The man that betrayed him, sent him to Hell, and killed his woman. Like the other books in the series, this can be a graphically violent and gratuitous book. Sandman Slim is not a man to be trifled with. In a great moment of the book Sandman Slim is in a car chase during broad daylight. Even with hundreds of witnesses, traffic light cams, and innocent bystanders, he screams, he is so pissed off.

“This is the world. This is how it is,” I’ll tell them. “Jesus might have died for your sins, but a girl is burning for them. I’d trade every one of your fucking lives for one minute of hers. Don’t you dare pray for her. Twiddle your rosaries and pray for yourselves, because if she goes down, I’m the Colonel, the fryer’s hot, and you’re my barnyard chickadees.”

This book closes up most of the story lines that were started in book one. That does not mean that this is the last time that we will be teaming up with Sandman Slim, as the conclusion of this book is anything but an ending.

I found a few inconsistencies in the way the story progressed that bugged me, but not enough for me to single them out. I found the ending to be sufficient. However, the name Sandman Slim was legendary enough and I do not think that the ending furthers his notoriety.

I enjoyed reading this book. I loved it. I really like that Kadrey does not pull any punches with Sandman Slim. He is the monster that kills monsters, and we the reader love that about him. I also liked Kadrey’s Butcher Bird and highly recommend his books to horror lovers and those like me that like their horror to have some faith.

[Gavin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This third instalment of the Sandman Slim series was a fairly weak one. Perhaps I've just burnt out on the series after reading the first three instalments back to back? It had some of the elements that made the first couple of books OK reads but we are already hitting the stage where James seems to have become too overpowered as a character. His constant whining is also driving me crazy!

On the surface the plot sounded OK for this one. Lucifer is bored of Hell so has ditched it in favour of some sightseeing. He wants James to take his place. One assumes this is because James is the ultimate special snowflake! The other competitor for the job is Mason. The very same Mason who is James's arc-nemesis and who he banished to Hell at the end of the last book. Not one of James smarter choices it seems.

The story could have been OK but for some reason it just never worked for me as much as the stories we got in the previous two books. I think a lot of that was because it was already seeming like both James and Mason had become ridiculously overpowered. Even the demons of Hell were like absolute chumps compared to them! It was too much too soon for a series that is only three books into a ten book story arc.

The other big issue I had with this book was with James himself. The guy is supposed to be a badass anti-hero but he comes across more like a whinging emo teenager 90% of the time. It felt like he was worse than ever with his constant bouts of wallowing in self-pity. It has been a while since I came across a such a crybaby lead character in a, supposed, dark UF series. Then there was the fact that after three whole books of James crying about Alice she showed up and he was bored of her and tossing her in the trash less than 5 minutes later. How annoying was that? I wish we had not had to listen to his self-pitying whining related to Alice for this whole series considering it turned out just to be nothing but an excuse for him to wallow in emo self-pity!!!

There was some good moments along the way but not enough of them. I might return to the series at some point but for now I'm going to take a break from Sandman whinge-a-lot.

Rating: 2.5 stars. I'm rounding up to 3 stars since I do think Kadrey has a fairly engaging writing style.

Audio Note: MacLeod Andrews did a decent job with the audio.

[Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since I'm basically reading these Sandman Slim books in grand marathon-style, I can't help but tear through them like they're pure crack cocaine. I can't help but compare it to a methed-up version of a true-neutral Harry Dresden mixed with a Cass from Supernatural who had had a love-child with Dean... and turn him into a murderous psychopath that thinks he's one of the good ones.

In other words, I'm chortling up a storm.

Just to think... we left off on the LA apocalypse in the previous novel only to mope around with a little second-storey work, only to land headfirst into a war (or several, considering the battlefronts) between Heaven and Hell.

And it's not exactly small-stage crap, either. I'm actually damn impressed. We've got a lot less talk and a LOT more action than I'm used to even for UF novels. :)

I'm still laughing (because that's the only proper response when you make it to the deepest depths of hell).

Happy Spooktober!

[The Girl with the Sagittarius Tattoo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe it's just me, but I was expecting more helly hellishness; more Hell in general. We didn't even get there until halfway through the book.

Picking up soon after the events of Kill the Dead, Stark figures out the inmates are running the asylum... at least the Generals are. Stark's nemesis, Mason Faim, has swooped in to fill the vacancy in the executive suite now that Lucifer Samael moved back home with Dad. Assuming Dad is still home at all.

There was a lot going on in this one, but it felt very typical of a setup novel. Let's see, Candy and Slim have become an item. The Crossroads Demon is named Mustang Sally; she's got great taste in cars and lousy taste in food. Vidoc is still a charmer, and we meet a good new character - a Sin Eater who specializes in dead languages. Slim admits he doesn't actually hate Kaz. A boring guy named Mr. Kelly turns out to be Jack the Ripper. We learn that most of Luci's original crew are serving time in Tartarus - the hell beneath Hell, which isn't as bad as it sounds. It's just super quiet there.

Big indications come out about where this series is going, and I think I like it! The whole concept is weird, offbeat and kinda funny. I look forward to jumping into Devil Said Bang.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sandman Slim is the man Mike Hammer wishes he could be. Slim is so hard-boiled he's practically stone at this point, and the baddest shut-your-mouth since Shaft graced the screen.

"Aloha From Hell" is the book you go to when you want a non-stop ride of snappy dialogue, gruesome characters, and L.A. the way we always knew it was deep down. Fresh from saving the Earth from High Plains Drifters (that's zombies to you uninitiated folks - and if you ARE uninitiated, go pick up the first book in this series pronto), Slim's got to mosey his way down to Hell and stop an old enemy from wreaking havoc on everything the Sandman has ever cared about.

I gotta tell you, I'm in mad love with the way Richard Kadrey writes. Every time you expect a hoary old genre cliche to come rampaging across the landscape, he turns it on its head and kicks it out the window. I've read all the Sandman Slim books at warp speed, because once you get into the story (and make no mistake, you WILL be sucked in) there's no coming out. Set aside some solo reading time, and enjoy your time in Hell.

[carol. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love the beginning, caught me up in the action very quickly. His past is coming back to haunt him in a big way... this is one UF series that really requires starting from the beginning. I liked the characterization quite a bit. By the end of the book, I felt Kadrey had almost captured what the leader of Hell might really be like. I was impressed. I got it.

[Oldman_JE · Rating 4 out of 5]

Four, five, four. I dunno. This one kept me sane for a bit while I was in a reading funk. Liked it better than the last one. Creative, and so wild it was reminding me of Mad Max(remake) at times, though I liked this better.

[Danigerous · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Warning: May contain spoilers!*
This one was by far the best in the series. Unlike the other two books, there was not a single moment where I questioned my picking up the book.
So here we go again with James Stark and a new chapter of his story. There isn't much 'stage' time for his sort-of sidekicks Kasabian, Vidocq and Candy, though. They are present predominantly till mid-novel and then they are only mentioned here and there, while the plot mainly focuses on Stark, who, by the way, gets sent to Hell ... again. The good news is, this time it's on his own volition. The reason? To save Alice, who it turns out is dragged there by his archnemesis Mason and his partner in crime the looney tunes angel Aelita. I actually missed her, I always burst out laughing trying to picture her screaming 'Abomination!' to Stark. Also here we get to meet all different types of deities and having read that Kadrey based his writing on researching mythology books, I believe he did check his facts on all of them, so, it means the reader gets educated a bit on mythological creatures.
My favorite part should be when Lucifer's generals rebel against Mason and his intention to conquer Hell. The description of the armies was amazing, only if it were longer! And this time Kadrey outdid himself in gruesomeness - having Jack the Ripper skinned alive, sorry dead but not terminally, if that's the way to explain the term, and hanging from a hook, yikes! So, I won't go on and share more facts from the book in case you lose interest, just go and read it! All I'm going to say is that the end was quite promising and if Richard Kadrey puts a real effort into it, another mind-blowing read might come out!

[David Brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

To read this at my website with pictures and in the dueling review format versus another book about hell navigate here: http://www.adventuresinpoortaste.com/...

Aloha from Hell is the third book in the Sandman Slim series, but above all accounts it can be read stand alone. There are many references to the previous books, but important details are explained so you won’t be lost. The book follows Sandman Slim, a man built with a bad attitude stuck between heaven and hell,who acts as a sort of detective between those worlds and our own. Slim doesn’t necessarily want the job of detective, but since he’s half angel he can survive a fight with demon or angel, so he’s the only guy fit for the job.

Los Angeles is his home, and Kadrey adds a lot of flair to the already hellish place that is LA. Expect many explanations of why LA is already Hell, and why Sandman Slim belongs there. This connection makes LA a character onto itself and further defines Kadrey’s take on Hell. The central story revolves around an old enemy of Slim’s trying to take over Hell and Slim must leave the hell that is LA and go to Hell proper to make things right again.

To get there, just outside LA is Eden, ironically the only Earthly doorway to Hell, and it requires the help from a highway goddess who survives on gas stop junk food. It may sound silly, but Kadrey does a great job creating American myth to go along with what we know about Heaven and Hell. It’s a great way to rewrite what we know about America, and it helps make Slim’s already mythical world that much more grounded in a reality. Slim trudges through miles of desert to locate Eden. Nearly there, Slim comments,

“If I ever get out of here, I’m going to find whichever angel invented sand and make it eat this fucking desert while getting a Tabasco enema.”

It’s nonsense writing to some extent, but part of the joy this books bring is the slurry of anger and attitude Slim brings to the adventure. Kadrey does a good job writing in a pulpy way but also slings so many wtf moments it feels like anything can happen. That’s a good and bad thing when reading the book as it makes everything very fan fiction esque, and things seem to just happen perfectly at the right time to keep the plot going. The fast action pace of the book is also a bit of a problem as it doesn’t allow the character to be fleshed out beyond his archetypal detective character. But that's why this book is good and different from most. You know you're getting an adventure that's cheap, easy to read and enjoyable enough.

That said, Hell is an interesting place. Once past the door inside the tree of knowledge a set of rusty stairs leads down into Hell. Everything about Kadrey’s Hell is grounded in reality. Once down the stairs, Hell looks just like Los Angeles, only on fire, with piles of trash burning and hellions running around chasing the damned. Things have changed since Slim first encountered it though,

“The sky Downtown used to be all bruised purples and bloody reds. A mean perpetual twilight. Now it’s a solid mass of roiling black smoke. Lit from below, it looks like the belly of a black snake the size of the sky crawling over us.”

Hell it seems has gone to shit, because Lucifer isn’t the man in charge anymore, and Hell has become even more Hellish. In Kadrey’s hell, instead of a land that has been created to show the worst case scenario as in Damned, Hell is what we know on Earth but burning and ruined.

“Sunset Boulevard looks like it was blow torched from below...The only thing still standing are the palm trees. They burn like votive candles in a dark nave, throwing more shadows than light. Smoldering fronds fall like burning snow.”

Kadrey paints a very vivid place that’s at once scary and beautiful. The description of hell is something akin to a video game. Things are described quickly and there’s a sense of atmosphere, but Kadrey’s focus is never about the surroundings. Instead, this book is about Slim breaking necks and taking names. It’s an action book first and a descriptive meaningful read a far, far second.

[Kaustubh Dudhane · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Karma is just loaded dice on a crooked table. Celestial pricks with wings and halos make the rules and the house always win. Always."

As I graduate from book two to book three of Sandman Slim, the author keeps on amazing and delighting me with awesome metaphors and out of the world insults. One of the funniest ones, I could understand was about his bodyless buddy named Kasabian (who is just a head because he was chopped off from the below the neck with a knife from Hell and kept alive with the help of some hoodoo and Lu love.) Stark always calls him Alfredo Garcia. I asked my best friend Google about it. There is a 1974 crime drama film called Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia. The synopsis on Google says - "El Jefe, a powerful Mexican rancher, learns that his teenage daughter is pregnant with Alfredo Garcia's child. He gets furious and hires two henchmen to hunt him down."

While finishing book two, I had realized that Sandman Slim has become a bit soft. (Yeah! He quit smoking and drinking which is bad.) The craziness was disappearing. However, he is back with a bang in Aloha from Hell.

Read this -
"If I ever get out of here, I’m going to find whichever angel invented sand and make it eat this fucking desert while getting a Tabasco enema."

Then he ups the ante -
"Jesus might have died for your sins, but a girl is burning for them. I’d trade every one of your fucking lives for one minute of hers. Don’t you dare pray for her. Twiddle your rosaries and pray for yourselves, because if she goes down, I’m the Colonel, the fryer’s hot, and you’re my barnyard chickadees.”

The action is good while the best part about the book is the dialogues. There were at least fifty odd laugh-out-loud moments. I have loved every moment of the book. Once, I would like to thank Milda Page Runner for introducing me to this wonderful series.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really love this series. If you are looking for a great UF; look no further than Sandman Slim...I love the characters. I love Kas, Lucifer, Mustang Sally, Jack the Ripper, and especially Candy. I like that the story is angsty and full of action. Plus, all kinds of great quotes! "I'd bet the Pope's red shoes," is my favorite of this book. This installment has Sandman Slim going back to Hell to try and stop a war that will destroy both Heaven and Hell.... After all the dust is settled, Aelita is still on the loose - I can 't wait to read how the Sandman finishes her off! I need the next book...right now. If you like the Bourne series, and if you like Dresden then you will love this series!

[Krazykiwi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is another one that worked even better as an audiobook than in print. Although, I seem to be a little alone in really liking this instalment in the series anyway.

[Maggie K · Rating 4 out of 5]

This series is actually really fun-I was worried I would find it too violent, and while it is violent, it doesn't really seem gratuitous under the circumstances, more action-packed. And Sandman has certainly learned the hard way that showing mercy to demons just never ever works...
In this addition, Stark finally gets his chance to go after Mason--but what will be the cost? Will it change the whole balance of heaven and hell? Will Stark lose everything he has fought for? and will it really even help Alice? Should he even care?

I found the ending very satisfying--while nothing wwas perfect, Stark has made the right choices for a change

[Suz · Rating 4 out of 5]

In fairness it took me a while to get into this one, but I suspect that had more to do with what was going on in my life than it did the book.

Once the story got going, however, it really grabbed me. Kadrey's wry, gritty humor is really hanging out there in this one, as is his deeply macabre imagination. Things changed for our anti-hero quite a lot by the end of this book and I'm looking forward to, eventually, seeing what Kadrey does with the changes.

[Tobin Elliott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like the first two, I enjoyed the hell out of this one. Unlike the first two, Kadrey happened to bump up against one of my many, many pet peeves in horror fiction, so the one less star rating for this one is much more due to personal preferences rather than anything wrong with the story.

Though, there were a couple of things with the story as well, but I'll get to that.

First and foremost, my pet peeve... I rarely enjoy any story that takes me to Hell, mainly because I find most of them just don't do Hell justice—or maybe it's more accurate to say that no one creates the kind of Hell I have in my head. Weirdly, the closest depiction of Hell that matches my idea is not literary, but sonic. Pink Floyd's "Echoes" from their album MEDDLE. When the song veers from the musical aspects to the strange soundscape? Yeah, that's my Hell.

Anyway, regardless, Sandman Slim Goes To Hell, and it's LA. Okay, I don't love it, but I went with it anyway.

Story-wise, I would have preferred a little less of the roaming-around-in-Hell scenes, and a little more of Stark interacting with the person who pretty much enforces the entire plot of this book, Alice. They got very little screen time together, after two previous books setting this eventual meet up.

Still, for all of that, I love that Kadrey has absolutely no qualms about messing with his lead character, fundamentally changing him.

I'm a little weirded out by how things were left—again, too much Hell for my liking—but I'm absolutely along for the ride. This truly is a series where anything goes.

[Wortmagie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard Kadrey ist mein Lieblings-Urban-Fantasy-Autor. Er ist einfach der Beste, wenn es darum geht, harte, witzige, makabre Geschichten zu schreiben, die Magie und Übernatürliches in unsere Welt katapultieren. Bei ihm gibt es keine glitzernden Vampire, keine schmusigen Werwölfe und erst recht keine jungen Frauen, die sich in all ihrem Herzschmerz mit Wonne suhlen. Seine Welt ist die Welt von James Stark aka Sandman Slim, mäßig begabter Hexer, Nephilim und Ex-Höllengladiator. Er ist nicht nett, er hat ein Alkoholproblem und sein Motto lautet „Mit Hoodoo und Bullshit wird’s schon gehen“. Kurz gesagt: ich liebe ihn! „Aloha from Hell“ ist der dritte Band der Reihe und ich freute mich riesig auf ein Wiedersehen mit Stark, seinen Gefährten und seinen Feinden!

Wieder einmal regiert die Langeweile in Starks Leben. Das Golden Vigil ist zerschlagen und Luzifer kehrte in den Himmel zurück. Seit er Los Angeles abermals rettete, war Stark brav und arrangierte sich mit dem Engel in seinem Kopf. Aber Stark wäre nicht Stark, hätte er nicht noch ein paar offene Rechnungen, die beglichen werden wollen. Da sich Luzifer kurzerhand aus dem Staub machte, versinkt die Hölle dank Mason im Chaos. Das könnte Stark natürlich egal sein, hätte Mason sich nicht mit Aelita verbündet, die weiterhin der fixen Idee nachjagt, Gott zu töten. Gemeinsam planen sie, Himmel und Hölle zu zerstören und dabei auch gleich noch Stark zu beseitigen. Sie spielen seine größte Schwachstelle gegen ihn aus und entführen Alice aus dem Himmel. Stark hat keine Wahl. Er muss ein weiteres Mal in die Hölle hinabsteigen. Sandman Slim kehrt heim.

Kennt ihr das Gefühl, wenn ihr ein Buch aufschlagt, ein paar Sätze lest und es ist wie nach Hause kommen? So empfinde ich die Bände der „Sandman Slim“ – Reihe. Ich habe stets das Gefühl, Stark so gut zu kennen, als wäre er mein Freund, mit dem ich mich regelmäßig auf ein Bier treffe. Er erzählt mir von seinen Abenteuern und obwohl ich mir recht gut vorstellen kann, worauf seine Geschichten hinauslaufen, überrascht er mich doch jedes Mal mit den Details. Er ist ein Bastard, aber ein Bastard, den man einfach lieben muss. Manchmal vergesse ich, dass er nicht real ist, denn er ist so realistisch und greifbar gezeichnet, dass ich mich ihm ungeheuer nah fühle. Für mich ist es genau das, was die Reihe auszeichnet. In der Urban Fantasy bekommt man es oft mit Charakteren zu tun, deren Eindimensionalität durch eine actiongeladene Handlung vertuscht werden soll. Richard Kadrey hingegen vereint Action, fiesen Galgenhumor und einen psychologisch vielschichtigen Protagonisten zu einem stimmigen Gesamtbild. Stark ist unter seiner harten Schale noch immer verloren und ziellos. Daher habe ich mich über seine Rückkehr in die Hölle überhaupt nicht gewundert. Offiziell steigt er natürlich nur hinab, um Alice zu retten, aber inoffiziell war es lediglich eine Frage der Zeit, wann er das Leben auf der Erde nicht mehr ertragen würde. Stark findet keinen Lebenssinn. Die Arena und die Spielregeln der Hölle waren mehr als 10 Jahre seine Welt und so sehr er es auch zu leugnen versucht, diese Welt ist ihm vertrauter als unsere. Er ist noch immer nicht über Alice hinweg und kann nicht loslassen. Mir war gar nicht klar, wie unheimlich präsent sie all die Zeit über in seinen Gedanken war; das wurde mir erst bewusst, als er ihr in der Hölle begegnet. Sie hat nichts von all dem mitbekommen, was Stark jahrelang erlebt hat und erdulden musste – und doch war es für mich so, als wäre sie da gewesen, weil sie eben nie aus seinem (Unter-)Bewusstsein verschwunden ist. Dass Kadrey ihre emotionale Verbindung auf eine Weise herausarbeitete, die sogar mich vergessen ließ, dass Alice seit vielen Jahren tot ist, spricht von einem Talent, das wirklich beeindruckend ist.
Trotzdem sehe ich „Aloha from Hell“ nicht völlig unkritisch. Ich fand, dass Kadrey die Szenen in der Hölle zu schnell abhandelte. Im Vergleich zum Vorgeplänkel war mir dieser Part zu kurz und etwas zu unübersichtlich. Ich weiß zwar, dass Kadrey großen Spaß daran hat, seine Leser_innen vor vollendete Tatsachen zu stellen, sie zu schockieren und ihnen Haarsträubendes um die Ohren zu schlagen, ohne eine Erklärung abzugeben, aber da die Hölle für Stark ein Ort ist, mit dem er viele widerstreitende Gefühle verbindet, hätte ich mir mehr Tiefe in der Handlung gewünscht. Außerdem verschenkte Kadrey meiner Meinung nach einiges an Potential, indem er ein Zusammentreffen mit einer faszinierenden Persönlichkeit aus der Geschichte oberflächlich und beiläufig gestaltete.
Letztendlich hatte ich aber doch wieder eine Menge Spaß mit Stark. „Aloha from Hell“ ist vielleicht nicht perfekt, mein Lesevergnügen war jedoch enorm. Und darauf kommt es schließlich an.

Ich hoffe wirklich, dass Richard Kadrey nie aufhört, „Sandman Slim“ – Romane zu schreiben. In Kombination bieten Stark und seine übernatürliche Welt eine schier endlose Fläche zur Entwicklung, eine bunte Spielwiese, auf der jede noch so obszöne Idee ein Plätzchen finden kann. Ich hoffe, Kadrey schreibt sie alle auf. Ich möchte mich niemals von Stark verabschieden müssen. Irgendwann wird sich das vermutlich nicht vermeiden lassen, doch noch ist es nicht so weit.
Das Großartige an dieser Reihe ist, dass sie so unberechenbar ist, obwohl man vor dem Lesen genau weiß, worauf man sich einlässt. Stark ist ein Wirbelwind aus chaotischer Energie, der am Beginn einer Geschichte selbst nie weiß, wo er landen wird.
Kadreys Reihe ist eine Bereicherung für die Urban Fantasy – es ist eine Schande, dass sie so unbekannt ist. Darum kann ich euch nur einen Rat geben: geht los, kauft einen „Sandman Slim“ – Roman und lernt meinen Freund Stark kennen!

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Aloha From Hell” is the third book in the Sandman Slim series by Richard Kadrey. The series follows the adventures of James Stark, also known as Sandman Slim, an ultra-extreme anti-hero who recently escaped from Hell. In this installment, Stark finds himself trapped in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell, with God on vacation and the Devil nosing around in Paradise. Meanwhile, an insane serial killer is wreaking havoc on Earth.

The audiobook version of “Aloha From Hell” brings the story to life with excellent narration that captures the gritty, edgy tone of the book. The plot is fast-paced and action-packed, with plenty of adrenaline-surging moments and violent supernatural mayhem. Stark is a complex and compelling character, and his journey through this book is both thrilling and emotionally engaging.

One of the strengths of “Aloha From Hell” is its world-building. Kadrey has created a rich and detailed universe filled with fascinating characters and mythology. The book explores themes of good and evil, redemption, and the nature of power, all while delivering an exciting and entertaining story.

Overall, “Aloha From Hell” is a great addition to the Sandman Slim series and a must-read for fans of urban fantasy and supernatural thrillers. The audiobook version is well-produced and adds an extra layer of immersion to the experience. Highly recommended! 😊

[RG · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an improvement on the 2nd novel. I havent begun to like Stark as much as the diehard fans yet. The action is cool but the plotting is too simple. The first 3rd has a cool noir vibe to it, but then quickly becomes too bogged down into a simplistic plot with an old foe which ends relatively easily. This series has some dedicated fans so I'll give the next book a go.

[J Edward Tremlett · Rating 4 out of 5]

After the hellish events of Kill the Dead, it’s understandable that Stark — also known as Sandman Slim — just wants to take it easy.

The Devil’s back in Heaven, his inner Angel’s behaving (mostly), and things are finally coming around with Candy the bloodthirsty monster (on the wagon, we hope). He’s not having to bust his ass as much anymore. It’s been so long since he killed someone he can’t even remember when it was, or why. Heck, even his dead girlfriend’s ghost is telling him to quit mooning over her and move on.

But he knows it’s only temporary — the calm before one hell of a !@#$storm.

His number one enemy — Mason, the bastard who had his girlfriend killed and tossed him into Hell alive — is Downtown, gathering power. Hes got most of the great demons on his side, now, and it’s only a matter of time before he organizes their massive armies into an attack on Heaven. And whether he wins or loses, the repercussions could shatter reality, or at least screw it up to the point where Stark’s long-overdue idyll would be seriously ruined.

That looming threat isn’t quite enough to get him off his ass, of course. But when his friends bring him into an exorcism gone seriously pear-shaped, the aforementioned bastard makes an appearance and reveals he’s got the one thing that Stark still gives a damn about. His old girlfriend’s soul is trapped in Hell under Mason’s lock and key, thanks to one of Stark’s least favorite angels. And if Sandman Slim doesn’t come on down and save her in three days’ time, she’s going to find out how ugly Downtown can really be.

Is it a trap? No way it isn’t. Does he have a choice? Not from where he’s sitting.

Does he have to like it? Hell no, and when he gets back Downtown, there’s going to be Hell to pay.

Of course, getting back downtown’s going to be interesting. Mason will be watching all the usual entrances, and will probably have any number of traps and traitors waiting along the way. To do this, Stark’s going to have to think way outside his usual box, call in some favors from people and things he’d rather not invoke, and do something he’s spent a long time trying not to do.

Die.

One of the great strengths of Kadrey’s Sandman Slim novels is that, just when you think you’ve got Stark’s world figured out, he always another level or layer of complexity that works seamlessly with what we knew before. Aloha from Hell continues in that tradition, and delivers a gloriously profane, high-octane horror action story that takes our hero from life to death and reveals an afterlife that’s both demonically different yet eerily familiar.

Hell and L.A. will never look the same again, especially when Sandman Slim gets through with them. But what shape will be be in when they get done with him…?

If you loved the previous two novels in the series, you will definitely want to find out.

(From a review, here)

[Nicholas Karpuk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Can I not get readable urban fantasy where the protagonist isn't an eye-rolling jackass? I'm dead serious here, I'll take recommendations.

I've made this comparison in previous reviews, but it's still on my mind how often I compare this series to the Dresden books. Both series contain fast paced stories that use a lot of my favorite fictional elements and have fairly quality plotting. Both also make me wish they existed in a third person structure, because I don't want to be in either character's heads.

And while Dresden is a doofus, nerdlinger horndog who thinks he's a bad-ass wizard, Stark is a much more direct power fantasy. Stark (that name, ugh, it's like it's the protagonist name he dreamed up when he was 12) seems almost like a parody of Snake Plisskin, which isn't helped by a audiobook narration that sounds like Christian Slater in full Jack-Nicholson-aping mode. He also tends to make a ton of references, but only to media prior to about 1980. Lots of references to old sitcoms and 70's movies.

And it's worth doing some back-of-the-napkin math on this one. The first book was released in 2009, and seems to be set roughly around that time, since he uses a smart phone in the first book. Working backwards using the timeline provided, that would put his birth somewhere between 1978 and 1982. So he's roughly my age. People my age don't make these references. These are the sort of references someone like Richard Kadrey, born in 1957, would make. So it makes me wonder why he didn't just set the stories in the late 80's to early 90's. You'd lose virtually nothing, since no one in the stories uses technology for anything beyond getting directions.

While I don't need my books to be funny, even when they're trying, I'm growing a bit exhausted with his whimsical similes. I really should have taken note of more of them as I went, because there were several in this book that made me yell, "what does that even mean!?" My brain ejected all the worst ones, so the only one I can thinking to quote now was something like, "He howls like I pissed on his Batman #1..." They're all deeply specific, kind of weird, and at this point not always making any sense. (Also, a pedantic part of me wanted to point out that Detective Comics #1 would be more valuable.)

What's odd is that these problems don't extend to most of the supporting cast. Almost everyone else ran somewhere from tolerable to rather likable. The problem is almost entirely the protagonist, which leads me to believe that the whole narrative would function much better without getting into his head. I mean, really, aren't most people probably a bigger douche inside their own head?

But now I struggle the same way I do with with Dresden. A part of me is irritated, and another part is looking up the next book in the series. Maybe that's just a defect in my character.

And as stated previously, readable trash gets 3 stars. That's just how it is.

[Arun Divakar · Rating 3 out of 5]

While it is set in Hell, the overarching mood that Michael Kadrey brings out in his book is not one of hope but neither is it of hopelessness. It is about something much more uplifting and enriching : kicking some serious demon ass ! Kadrey’s James Stark does not have the time nor inclination for a lot of introspection or deeply rooted observations into the pointless rat race of human existence. His objectives are fairly simple : find out someone, anyone and everyone who piss him off and wipe out their existence. Stark who is also known as Sandman Slim is a connoisseur in the highly sophisticated art of demon slaying and he comes out – all guns blazing in the third instalment of Sandman Slim series.

The lacklustre second book had almost put me off the series. Whoever heard of a badass who tells everyone he meets that ’I am a badass and you better not mess with me.’ without doing a thing to prove his point ? That was all that the second book was all about. Even the presence of Lucifer wasn’t enough to salvage the second one from the deep, dark pits of average ! Kadrey remedies this in his third book where Stark is back to doing the thing he does best : killing ! An exorcism gone wrong brings Stark face to face with his arch-rival Mason and it forces him to return to Hell for that mano a mano that he has been postponing for two books now. Stark uses all his strength, skill and intelligence to extract that final round of vengeance which really should have been done in the first book itself. On the way to Mason he stops for a while in Tartarus (the darkest region even for Hell), gets to fight again in his beloved arena, spends time with one incarnation of the grand old man in the sky and clears his path like the hero of a Michael Bay movie. While it is not fully back to form, this third book in the series shows sparks of how interesting the first one in the series was.

On to the next one in the series now.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Review to come.

[David Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Sandman Slim novels are a joy to read!

[Morphing_kashi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Warning: Contains language. Also this covers Stark as a character so far in the series rather than the plot of Aloha from Hell specifically.

Stark in a few nutshells:

- Boohoohoo, woe is me, I was dragged to Hell (while alive) and stayed there for 10 years until I managed to escape. Granted, I wasn't being tortured like all the other poor souls down there but instead fought demons in the arena, but still. Never mind that I can heal from pretty much anything. I didn't know that before I got there.

- I walk down the street and look at all these stupid sheeple that live their everyday lives without knowing about Hell,demons, magic or any of the other supernatural stuff. Pathetic mortals. I am so much better. Did I mention I am dark and edgy?

- I am a prick to everyone I meet; my default ranges from simply insulting everyone I talk to to wanting to stab someone in their guts, drag them out and hang them in the sun to dry if they look at me funny. Being covered in blood/bullet holes/stab wounds/bruises and looking like a walking hit-and-run victim 90% of the time has nothing to do with the way people may look at me.

- I have only ruined 10 t-shirts and 3 leather coats this week due to stabs/bullet wounds/burns/generic blood stains. I swear I am losing my touch. But I am still fucking cool, dark and so edgy.

- I bark in hoodoo so often that if the whole nephilim/wizard thing doesn't work out I can always apply for a job at the Dog Whisperer.

- I spent the best 10 years of my life in Hell and I use that as an excuse to act like a toddler instead of the 30-year-old I physically am. Look at me, poor, tortured soul - but don't you dare feel bad for me, I'll shove my black Hellish blade up your rear and bring it out the other end, you pathetic mortal.

- I have the emotional maturity of an inverted teaspoon. I will blame everyone else for this: Hell (where I was stuck for 10 years), Mason (the guy who sent me there), this shitty world.. Everyone but me.

- I am so bitter quinine is glucose by comparison. Did I mention I am dark and edgy?

- I will treat you like trash for having the nerve to even talk to me - unless you are a gorgeous woman, in which case hellooo there, sexy. Or Lucifer: in which case, hello old man.

- Hello gorgeous lady. You look like a goddess; you say you are a pornstar as well? Wanna fuck? Awesome. Don't mind the long-dead girlfriend I have been grieving for for every single novel so far and for whom I would literally burn down the world (by the way, her name is Alice).

- Hello another gorgeous lady. You are literally a man-eating monster on rehab due to an archangel doctor's best efforts and actively trying to suppress your man-eating desires? Wanna go back into the carnage business with me? It will be fun. Yes? Awesome! Also, want to fuck? Great.

- I am a nephilim but I will talk about "locking the angel in my head" as if being of mixed heritage is something that can be turned on and off at will; I will also mess with the readers' minds by commenting about locking my man-eating fuck-partner up there with the angel part of me, as if I am a schizo and have multiple voices in my head. Also, I'm a wizard.

- I moan about the angel part of me wanting to play nice in my head after I spent half a book being 100% angel due to some issues (Sandman Slim #2, Kill The Dead), in which part the angel passed off as cold and uncaring and finding it so easy to kill people because essentially he didn't give a fuck about them whereas I moan all the time about my various predicaments and my long-dead girlfriend (by the way, her name is Alice). Yet, I will still wail about him being goody-goody now that the human part of me is back in control (and can turn him on and off at will, of course). Did I mention I'm dark and edgy?

- I spend most of my time intoxicated halfway to oblivion; my drink of choice is Aqua Regia. Presumably not the 1:3 nitric to hydrochloric acid ratio liquid, although it is manufactured in Hell and consists mostly of poison. It's an acquired taste. I'm so fucking cool for drinking this shit.

- Even though I am an insufferable, intolerable bastard, I still manage to have a few friends (that I constantly berate, treat like shit or just visit when I have need of their services) and be accused of being such an awesome goody-good guy that goes out of his way to save the world. I don't want this good fame dammit! I'm supposed to be an antihero, all dark and tortured and edgy. Plus, the world saving comes to me. I am a victim of the circumstances. If it were up to me, I would probably drink and fuck my way to oblivion until I finally kicked the bucket.

- The name is Stark. Don't you dare call me by my first name unless you want your tongue cut out and shoved down your throat before you can even blink - unless you're a drop-dead gorgeous woman, Lucifer or my long-dead girlfriend (by the way, her name is Alice).

- I don't give a fuck about Heaven, Hell, or if this entire universe blows to pieces because the angels are too busy jerking each other off with their big flaming swords in an all-out war between Heaven and Hell. The only one I care about is Alice (my long-dead girlfriend), who only met me in the first place because the Sub Rosa put her in my path in order to keep tabs on me. But she is the bestest, purest, most worthiest person in the multiverse and she would never spy on me so fuck you. Even though she did. Fuck you anyway.

-I just got separated from my angel half which resurrected me thanks to plot coincidences (it's an it, I refuse to acknowledge it as a "he" even though he is literally the angelic half of me). There are now two of me running around, the pure angel and the pure mortal. By the way, I would have passed out and half-died if I wasn't wearing Lucifer's armor at the moment so thanks for that.

-If I somehow happen to become physically separated from my angel half, I can still manifest a Gladius (a sword only angels can manifest) even though I am completely, 100% mortal. Don't ask me how. I just fucking do. Because I'm Batman awesome.

I think I'm done with this series.

[Jeremiah Boydstun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard Kadrey's got some serious swagger. If you're going to have a protagonist as bad-ass as Sandman Slim---someone who can drive a Ferrari through hell, peel his own face off, bifurcate into an angel and a human, and fill in for Lucifer in the underworld---you better have a pair of equally big writing cajones because this is the sort of stuff that's either going to end up as slaphappy tommyrot or as sterling craftsmanship. This third installment in the Sandman Slim series obviously falls in the latter category.

First, perhaps a word to the naysayers of Kadrey's work. Some have said that the novels degrade the further the series progresses, but I think these critics fail to recognize and appreciate a crucial feature of Kadrey's work, which is that it's supposed to be a little trashy. As Kadrey, when asked about some of his influences, has said: "Art terrifies. Trash seduces." I might even call aspects of Kadrey's work a bit kitschy. Aloha from Hell is not meant to be five-star intellectual dining; this is the stuff you consume when your imagination has been worked over during a long day of dealing with quotidian flapdoodle and you just need something toxic and greasy to coat those beleaguered sulci (look it up).

But this doesn't mean that you can completely shed your suspension of disbelief raiments and take off butt-ass nekkit through fiction land. Kadrey is an artist and although all of the books in the Sandman Slim series are immensely entertaining, he's stated that they are also "about questioning our place in the universe, wondering about the nature of good and evil and if God and Lucifer are our enemies, on our side or if they even remember we’re down here." Regardless of what a writer chooses to write about, the questions don't come much bigger than that. Kadrey, however, has found a way to make such existentially terrifying questions seductive.

I gave this one four out of five stars for two reasons: first, the writing was a bit formulaic, even downright bad in places, and the acrimony and banter is slathered on a bit too thick; second, the plot feels a bit too tailored to the protagonist at times. Yes, Sandman Slim gets stabbed, loses an arm, and even dies, but, like Kasabian, his churlishness never really abates and he never really shows any weakness. I'm wondering if perhaps Sandman Slim would be an even stronger, more enduring character if Kadrey made him . . . well, more human. The ability to connect with a character is what makes that character (and the literary work itself) memorable, but there aren't many access points to Sandman Slim, and the reader is forced to keep him at arm's length because he's a little too invincible, too bad-ass, and (at times) too indifferent.

Let's end on a positive note. Aloha from Hell is a blast, and I love Kadrey's work. He's done something really special here from an artistic standpoint, and he's created a piece of entertainment that is brash, extravagant, and wonderfully satiating.

[Grim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sandman Slim is back for a third outing. However if you haven’t already read the first two books in the series do so before you read this one. You will get confused if you don’t

Stark is as ever the extremely violent, darkly humorous hero of epic proportions. The book starts with a lull in his violent life after the events in book two that’s making him feel “stabby”, and looking for violence. Which all too soon he finds in spades. A botched exorcism by an excommunicated priest leads him to the revelation that his arch nemesis Mason, who he finally killed condemning him to hell, is now leading hell in a preparation for war against heaven. Lucifer’s apparently gone off back to heaven leaving a power vacuum Mason’s been quick to fill. But Mason wants Stark and more importantly his key to the room in the centre of the universe so he’s kidnapped Alice, Starks old true love and is holding her for ransom in Hell and if Stark wants her back he’ll have to go to hell to fetch her.

So Stark has to sneak into Hell, a Human amongst demons, trigger an obvious trap, and save the girl. To start off with. Then all he’s got to try and stop a war between heaven and hell that would mean the end of the world. To do that he has to rescue the only Hell’s general who stood against Mason, however he was Killed in Hell and therefore sent to Tartarus, which is kind of a Hell below Hell where those already dead, who are then killed again go. Oh and of course no one has ever escaped from Tartarus, so its just another day in the life of Sandman Slim.

Along the way he meets God, well parts of him, apparently he had a mental break down and splintered into many parts, and some deites from the older religions as well. Throw in Adelita the homicidal Angel who wants to kill Stark “the abomination”, and you have a spell binding read. Hell looks just like Los Angeles, only on fire, with piles of trash burning and hellions running around chasing the damned. It’s a graphically detailed master piece I love the description of Hell, and Hell’s armies.

But the real action starts after Stark gets to Tartarus. Then the book is none stop action, gratuitous violence and dark humour. Including a scene where Jack the Ripper, who of course was sent to Hell after he died, is hung upside down from a hook and skinned alive, er well dead-alive whatever the accurate description is for a soul condemned to hell

Well written, action packed, darkly humorous, spell binding. A literature master piece, that I highly recommend.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

What can I say, I was on a Kadrey kick.

I did not enjoy Aloha from Hell as much as I hoped I would. Part of this comes from my own expectations. I was looking forward to more interaction with the earthly (read: alive) characters, especially the relationship between Stark and Candy. While there is a little of this, a good deal of the book takes place after Stark return Downtown to once again exact revenge upon Mason, the current ruler of Hell.

All right, I get that Stark is still pissed that Mason threw him into Hell in the first place and that he had Alice killed. However, when the person you are looking to avenge comes to you in a dream and essentially says "Dude, let it go already," maybe you should listen.

Stark can't, of course, because there is also this pesky universe to save. I think that my biggest disappointment was the time spent in Hell. Coming off of the vivid and imaginative description of Butcher Bird, spending time walking around with Stark in a Hell that is essentially a really jacked version of Los Angeles was just a let down.

My other problem was that Stark spends a lot of time walking around Downtown. Don't get me wrong, the descriptions are knock down, make me disturb the person next to me by snort laughing funny. It just seemed a bit tedious after a while. Stark does a little too much soul searching for me. The descriptions of the creation of the universe were interesting, but again, a little lengthy.

The end however, that was not what I expected.

I did enjoy the third Sandman Slim novel, but not nearly as much as the first.