Rating: ⭐
This book disgusted me. The more I read, the more uncomfortable I was feeling. I actually felt sick in some parts of this.
What this book includes:
❌ 30 year age gap
❌ Grooming
❌ Manipulation
❌ A 48 year old disgraced man
❌ A vulnerable, impressionable and sheltered 18 year old
❌ A mother who really had no business being one
❌ Delusions (massive fucking delusions)
❌ An author desperate to normalise inappropriate relationships
I mourned reading this book. It is the only way I can describe it. I was sitting in shock reading this. I mourned an 18 year old who threw her life, her agency and her wits out the window for a man. There were no heroes in this book, only those who were complicit.
Rosie was such a vulnerable character. An 18 year old girl, who didn't get to have a conventional childhood; she never really got to be a child. She was her mother's keeper for so long that being the parent is all she really knew. Her life was consumed by making sure her mum was on an even keel; it left no room for Rosie's life outside of her. Rosie was ripe to be taken advantage of and she was.
Julian was the villain in this story. He took a young girl and turned her into his own personal sex slave. That's really what she is when it boils down to it. He makes her quit her job, so she can fully commit to him. She was isolated before, but now by being with him, all she knows is him and his wants.
Julian is a 48 year old former Professor of English at Oxford University. The man had it all - a wife, two children, a grandchild, a glowing career and living the high life. But, underneath it all Julian was somewhat of a sexual deviant. He was addicted to fucking teenage girls, tying them with rope and marking them all over their bodies in obscenities.
Now, I don't give a shit what people do behind closed doors, but when you are doing it with teenagers (I don't care if the AOC is fucking 16) you don't do that shit with people whose prefrontal cortex hasn't fully developed yet. YOU are old enough to know not to go through with it.
If this man was really remorseful over what he had done to his family, particularly his daughter, one WOULD think that he would move away and work on himself and get some help and then when some time and progress had been made, if he was very lucky, he would be allowed back into the lives of his family and that of his children.
Sadly, that was not the case. No, this was a fucked up redemption story and HEA for Julian.
There was some very worrying thoughts running through Rosie's mind, the poor girl was delusional:
"I'd loved to have written him a glowing piece of adoration for everything he was and everything he'd blessed me with. Everything from a place to stay, to muesli in the morning, to coconut conditioner. For showering me with attention, and want, and making me feel like I was really worth something."
" I could do this...I could seduce the man upstairs and behave like the girl in the photo. I could do it. I could be that girl."
"Maybe I wasn't as good as the girl in the photo? ... Was I too desperate? Too needy? Too stupid for a professor like him?"
"I want to be the girl in the photos."
"Do it, fuck me. I want to be the girl in the photos!."
Incase you weren't aware, Rosie wanted to be the girl in the photos...
"...just wanted to live up to his wants. His needs."
"...to make sure I was the slut dreams are made of-especially Julian's"
"Don't ever choose them over me, please... I'll be better than any of them, I promise."
"Julian was right. He'd given me the courage of my convictions. I had no sense of fear at the prospect of college tomorrow. I felt invincible in my own skin, and I had Julian to thank for that."
I was sickened by this.
The introduction of a friend for Rosie in the form of Lola, another teenager living with a 40 year old man, commiserates with Rosie and tells her its ok and fuck what everyone thinks. Rosie and Julian become the best of friends with Lola and Peter, as like attracts like.
The smut in this book was giving me the ick. And the obsession with the fucking whisk was even weirder.
The mother finally accepting their relationship all because she read Julian's manuscript about their love story was insane. What mother would allow this shit to happen and then let it go on??
The ending was hilarious though. Rosie convinces Julian to move back to Oxford. Why in the name of god would you move back and rub your relationship and all the shit you have done to the people you are supposed to love the most? It was clear that Julian would never change and not even his children were enough to make him realise this. These poor fucks had to endure daddy's new life on home turf. The utter selfishness of it was breath taking.
They all end up attending Rosie's 21st birthday in the epilogue and everyone is playing happy families and Julian is engaged to Rosie. Their life consists of fucking all day every day while they share a home office where he writes smut and she blogs about it.
And after all that, I kept thinking what was their love based on? It was based on nothing. It was a simple infatuation on Rosie's part and as for Julian? it was all about his own selfish needs and having an impressionable, vulnerable teenager was the only way he could be in a relationship with someone who put him first in everything and be there solely for his wants and needs and that is exactly what he got.
Verdict: If you like Taboo but have boundaries, I don't think this will work for you. If you don't have boundaries and are a hardcore Taboo fan, then this could just be the book for you.