Lost in the Middle: MidLife and the Grace of God

by Paul David Tripp

The Bible never discusses midlife, just like it never discusses teenagers. Yet the Bible is able to address any of life s experiences because it was written by the One who made them all. Life on this side of glory is hard. This world is a broken place. You will face things in midlife that beat at the borders of your faith, but you do not have to be lost in the middle of your story.

Although this book is directed at those who are facing the issues of midlife, it has a much broader net than that. Lost in the Middle can help all who are confronted with life in this broken world and have lost their way. The God who seems so distant to you in this moment is actually near and active. Lost in the Middle is written to give you eyes to see him, to see yourself more clearly, and to find the real hope that you need to carry on.

You do not have to be paralyzed by regret, defeated by aging, and discouraged by the passing of your dreams. This time of life, which can seem like the end of many things, can actually welcome you to a brand new way of living. As is so often the case in your walk with the Lord, this moment of pain is also a moment of grace. Because of this, we all need to occasionally step back, slow down, and consider where we are going. Lost in the Middle will help you to do just that.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Christian Living, Faith, Counselling, Theology, Christianity

353 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2004

About the author

Paul was born in Toledo, Ohio to Bob and Fae Tripp on November 12, 1950. Paul spent all of his growing years in Toledo until his college years when his parents moved to Southern California.
At Columbia Bible College from 1968-1972, (now Columbia International University) Paul majored in Bible and Christian Education. Although he had planned to be there for only two years and then to study journalism, Paul more and more felt like there was so much of the theology of Scripture that he did not understand, so he decided to go to seminary. Paul met Luella Jackson at College and they married in 1971. In 1971, Paul took his first pastoral position and has had a heart for the local church ever since. After college, Paul completed his Master of Divinity degree at the Reformed Episcopal Seminary (now known as Philadelphia Theological Seminary) in Philadelphia (1972-1975). It was during these days that Paul’s commitment to ministry solidified. After seminary, Paul was involved in planting a church in Scranton, Pennsylvania (1977-1987) where he also founded a Christian School. During the years in Scranton, Paul became involved in music, traveling with a band and writing worship songs. In Scranton, Paul became interested in biblical counseling and decided to enroll in the D.Min program in Biblical Counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul then became a faculty member of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF) and a lecturer in biblical counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul has also served as Visiting Professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.
In 2009, Paul joined the faculty of Redeemer Seminary (daughter school of Westminster) in Dallas, Texas as Professor of Pastoral Life and Care.[1]
Beginning in June, 2006, Paul became the President of Paul Tripp Ministries, a non-profit organization, whose mission statement is "Connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life." In addition to his current role as President of Paul Tripp Ministries, on January 1, 2007, Paul also became part of the pastoral staff at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, PA where he preached every Sunday evening and lead the Ministry to Center City through March, 2011 when he resigned due to the expanding time commitments needed at Paul Tripp Ministries.
Paul, Luella, and their four children moved to Philadelphia in 1987 and have lived there ever since. Paul is a prolific author and has written twelve books on Christian living which are sold internationally. Luella manages a large commercial art gallery in the city and Paul is very dedicated to painting as an avocation.[2] Paul’s driving passion is to help people understand how the gospel of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ really does speak with practical hope into all the things they will face in this broken world. Paul is a pastor with a pastor’s heart, a gifted speaker, his journey taking him all over the world, an author of numerous books on practical Christian living, and a man who is hopelessly in love with Luella.

Reviews

[Donna Craig · Rating 2 out of 5]

My husband and I were reading this book together. We finally gave up on page 209/346. It was just too boring. He could have said the things he said (some of which WERE interesting) in 100 pages. And I think he should have.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mid-life took me completely by surprise. I have never wanted to be anywhere else than I was (SAHM living in suburbia) in the house, town, church, community right where I lived. Then suddenly the walls were closing in... the illusion of control started to fade away... and even though the relationships remained intact, I found myself dreaming of "escape!" Not from my husband, but maybe from civilization? From responsibility? From children who kept me hopping and driving and buying and cooking and cleaning? lol This book nailed me so perfectly - just when you think you are so unique, it's eye-opening to discover that this is all fairly normal and part of being human. Why should we imagine that we will remain the same from age 21 until death? We recognize adolescence as a period of intense change and rediscovery, and it is validated and applauded as necessary to maturity. And yet when we face similar feelings in mid-life, the attitude becomes one of shame... It all feels like something that ought to be ignored, put down, set aside, denied, covered up. Instead, Tripp proposes that we think of this time of life as a "new start," an opportunity to discover new things about ourselves, to grow and change in positive ways with HOPE and dignity, as we move into the next stage of life.

I read this along with the following books, and found that they all seemed to travel similar routes:
A Daughter's a Daughter (fiction) A Daughter's a Daughter
Absent in the Spring (fiction) Absent In The Spring
Gift from the Sea (memoir) Gift from the Sea
The Gift of an Ordinary Day (memoir, see my review) The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother's Memoir

Taken altogether, these books were good medicine during a period of discomforting change in my life. Mid-life can feel stressful, but it can also be productive and interesting! Finding others who understand how it feels is a comfort, providing great help along the way. Good fiction provides the beauty and inspiration that we sometimes need to continue the journey with grace.

[Havebooks Willread · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is going to make my list of best books read in 2017, for sure. It's one of those books that makes me want to buy it by the case to pass out to people. If you are at, over, or quickly approaching that 40-year mark, I highly recommend it.

My parents divorced as they hit 25 years of marriage. I have learned, just in the last week, of two couples I know with serious marriage problems. I look around me and I see people in this mid-season of life struggling. . .mourning the loss of youth and fearing the process of aging. I see people struggling in this season as their idols of beauty, health, material success, marriage, children, etc. are insufficient. I see people struggle with their identities as the passing years rage at the foundations upon which they have staked their identities.

I enjoyed a slow trip through this book as I read it with a group of friends and we met periodically to discuss a couple chapters at a time. I think this is one I will definitely revisit and I feel confident I will gain something beneficial upon each re-reading as the seasons continue to go by. I very much appreciate Tripp's biblical-based worldview on this subject and think if more people kept this perspective before them, we would have fewer crises in mid-life.

[Jeremy Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

To all GenXers entering Midlife... This is a marvellously helpful book. Tripp observes that "midlife is a crescendo," but not in the way we might have hoped or planned for ourselves. It's a "crescendo of God's grace." I'm so thankful for the words of wisdom, biblical insights, and pastoral care offer by Paul David Tripp. I have felt "lost in the middle," but now I see God's gracious hand still at work in my life. I highly recommend!

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a great encouragement to me, as I have often felt discouraged and defeated over the past year. The author did a great job of pointing out why we may find ourselves adrift in our middle years. I am thankful for the reminder that God is all-sufficient and all that I need, and He loves me too much to let me put my hope in anything but Him. May I remember that truth and live joyfully in light of it!

[Rebekah Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars
It took me a long time to read through this book. Not because it was dry or boring, but because there was so much to think about. No, maybe I don’t relate to many of the examples the author shared, but that didn’t mean I didn’t glean nuggets of truth and wisdom along the way. And some parts–yeah, I needed them. I’m still mulling over some things, and I’m sure I will be for quite some time.
I would recommend this to anyone who is feeling a little lost, not sure what is going on in their life or what God is doing, or anyone who is good friends with someone going through things like that.

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

With a lot of changes happening in my life, I thought it'd be worthwhile to read this book. I absolutely love Paul Tripp's approach to Christian counseling and this book is a good representation of his style and focus. (By the way, I did realize while reading this book that I am not -- at least not yet -- having a mid-life crisis.) Tripp looks at various disappointments of mid-life and examines them with the light of the gospel. He addresses the heart issues behind topics like suffering, the need to control, misplaced worship, and false identity. Good stuff.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once again, Paul David Tripp is dead on! This book caused me to really think about what am I putting my energy, treasures, and time into...as well as my zeal and affection. You can't read it and live like you never ingested these truths. So good!

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5: This book was so insightful and helped me understand so much of what I was thinking and feeling in a broader context. I'm so grateful for my friend sharing it with me! My only complaint is that the author gets pretty wordy at times, otherwise, a fantastic book.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good, if occasionally too long.

[Davidson Luna · Rating 5 out of 5]

É com amor, sabedoria e franqueza que Paul Tripp trata nesse livro os dilemas próprios da chamada fase da meia-idade. Quando os anos começam a vir, também na maioria das vezes, chegam sentimentos de fracasso, arrependimento, inadequação e a conclusão de que alguns sonhos ficaram perdidos pelo caminho. A sensação de que o tempo a frente já não é tão longo. É então nesse momento que alguns ficam paralisados com tal sensação, sentindo-se desanimados com o peso da idade.

Perdido no Meio revela que essas dificuldades da vida não são evidência da falta de cuidado de Deus, mas sinais de sua graça, amor e fidelidade e da oportunidade de crescer e desenvolver um caráter mais maduro e dependente de Senhor. Este livro oferece a esperança de uma graça desconfortável, a qual, quando entendida e abraçada, nos capacita a seguir adiante confiantes daquilo que Deus quer de nós.

Dificilmente você sairá dessa leitura da maneira que entrou, é uma leitura desafiadora, que mostra claramente nossa idolatria e pontos de falha, que poderá resultar em dias futuros em desesperança e frustração, mas também é um livro que demonstrará que graça do Senhor nos é suficiente para vencermos e sairmos do outro lado com uma nova perspectiva da vida e da adoração ao verdadeiro Deus. Aproveite cada instante e compre mais de um marca texto, você irá precisar.

[Stacia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio: This is not available on Audible. The audible version is only available through the Paul Tripp website. It is read by the author and is not polished, but honestly, I'd take a not-polished, read-by-the-author audible book over a professionally-read, robotic sounding voice any day! So, my biggest frustration with the audible was not being able to save my place or bookmark my "highlights."

The Book:
While I am only at the beginning of midlife and have not experienced a mid-life crisis, I'm glad to have read this book! It was a great encouragement to remember where to continue to my focus, on Christ. This life is not about me or my dreams - even good, God-glorifying, kingdom building dreams - we exist to glorify God and that might look different than what we always expected.

The book is very much centered on examples from others' lives. My biggest complaint is that Tripp often uses (what seems to me) extreme examples, in this book, those who've completely lost health or work. In reality, there are probably a lot more people who are just plodding along with no major life change, but need encouragement to simply stay the course and honor God in life, work, and family. There was a lot of good stuff in the book and I would definitely recommend it to others!

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent.

[Steve Hemmeke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paul Tripp is consistently on the mark in diagnosing the sinful condition of the heart, whatever stage of life or topic he addresses. Lost in the Middle does not disappoint. Tripp accurately describes the mid-life problem: a heart fixed on idols that have disappointed you leaves you dissatisfied with and disinterested in life if you don’t re-orient your heart away from the things you crave on earth and back to the Lord. We start excavating our past and are disappointed to find the career or relationship or identity we invested ourselves in for years has not satisfied as we had hoped.

Tripp takes a long time to say it, though. This is the only downside to the book. The stories are often useful for the reader to identify himself as “lost in the middle.” So I don’t begrudge the use or amount of stories. It’s an inherent part of the problem to not realize what is happening to you – that you are lost. So stories of real people suffering a mid-life crisis really help. But the book could have been much shorter and still gotten the point across, it seems. Still, the content of Tripp’s books involved necessary soul searching, which in turn requires slowing down and a meditative, ambling mood. So going over a theme a few times doesn’t hurt. “To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you” (Philippians 3:1).

Highly recommended reading for anyone aged about 35-45.
I give this book a rare 5 stars, because it was immensely helpful to me, personally.

[Bill Stutzman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had been sitting on my shelf for years, waiting for the right midlife moment. It finally came. Though not my favorite Tripp work, this book still offers good reminders and admonitions for keeping the faith. I'm grateful for Tripp's words of wisdom, rooted in Scripture. A bit of repetition made this book a bit longer than it needed to be, but it didn't hurt to give certain principles a chance to sink in a bit more. Incidentally, I did buy a new guitar during this stage, and I'm always on the lookout for a Porsche 911. Just saying. :) God's goodness looks different through different eyes, and I'm grateful to the help with perspective.

[Rebecca Tredway · Rating 5 out of 5]

I literally turned the book face down when I was reading in public because... ahem... I'm not really ready to discuss my midlife crisis with the world. (And yet here I am, right?) This book is EXCELLENT. I cannot understate how helpful it is. Tripp has such a compassionate, pastorly way of writing. He gently leads readers into understanding how our own misaligned thought processes can lead to devastating and hurtful periods of life in this midlife time. Spoiler alert: aligning our hearts to God's is the antidote.

[Amy Kannel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I needed a dose of Paul Tripp's tough love gospel medicine.
It's absurd that this is 350 pages; it's verbose and repetitive and would have benefited from ruthless editing. But it's full of truth, goodness, and beauty--a sometimes painful yet very necessary call to repentance and faith and reorienting your story in the context of the much larger story of Christ and His kingdom. The "case studies" were sometimes simplistic and cheesy and I definitely think it could have been a lot shorter (and would be more helpful and accessible to more people if it was), but I'm still glad I read it.

[Gwilym Davies · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of genuinely helpful content here. I think most of what was most helpful was in the first third of the book, and I find the machine-gun exhortations pretty exhausting to wade through. Some issues resonated more than others. But the overall thesis - that the kinds of things that trigger midlife crises are things that need dealing with, and that midlife is therefore an opportunity for genuine Christian repentance and growth - is sound and helpful.

[Andy Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are living with regret or disappointments as you enter the midlife? This is a book for middle age to older people who are facing their legacy in life. Great book and thoughtful in it's approach of how God is using everything in our lives to get our attention to depend and worship him fully even in the midst of regret and disappointment.

[Julie Biles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tripp nails the feeling of discontent and the elusiveness of satisfaction that every human being experiences at all phases of life: this sense of disappointment is often heightened in mid-life, hence the title. But, this book is a wonderful read for any person who has ever said, "Surely there is more to life!"

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Timely in my life. I had read the first third then set it aside. I thought it was interesting and well written, but it didn't pull me along. Then something I couldn't understand happened in my life. I needed counsel and picked up this book again. It helped me begin to understand the formidable grace of God at work in me and around me.

[T Botha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paul Trip has exceptional insight into the workings of our "inner man". I found this book challenging because I could relate to much of what he wrote about. This is a time of self-examination and even exploration to who and what we are, or have become, and a great opportunity to re-evaluate who we are becoming. Thank you for this. It was hard to see myself as I truly am, but excited to know that God hasn't changed, and His plans will always top ours!

[Lauri Hogle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you, Paul

As always, Paul David Tripp captures the essence of Scripture in addressing my emotional and physical realities of this fallen world. I cherish his insights as I walk through challenges today.

[Stacy Perkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good things to ponder, regardless of your age. It took me a good 2 months to work through it, but I enjoyed thinking through what he mentioned. He addresses heart issues more than quick advice, which I appreciate.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best. Book. Ever. This book should be required reading for all believers in their forties and fifties. Really gives a Christ-centered view of life, aging, empty nest.

[Francois Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! I wish I could have read this at age 20 with the same wisdom I have now. Paul Tripp masterfully dissect middle age and the real problem that constitute middle age - which is totally counterintuitive in our day and age. But he also gently, encouragingly nudges us in the right direction.

[Suzanna]

Started audio book. Couldn’t handle the reader he was so bad. Content seemed good though

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. This book really helped with a much-needed perspective shift for me. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is struggling with the Empty Nest.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profound!

[Jenny Borders · Rating 5 out of 5]

For what this book was - a Christian, nonfiction book about the struggles of midlife - it was excellent. I love me some Paul David Tripp. So much truth and encouragement here.