The Burnout Cure

by Julie de Azevedo Hanks

If the demands of the day-to-day leave you feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and exhausted, you may be suffering from an all-too-common malady prevalent among emotional burnout. From work in and out of the home to service in wards and communities, the variety of worthy undertakings can seem endless. With such perceived cultural pressure to “do it all,” how can a woman balance the desire to serve others with caring for her own personal needs? As a wife, mother, clinical counselor, and musician, author Julie de Azevedo Hanks understands better than most the demands placed on women in the Church, and she has spent years providing clinical counseling to Latter-Day Saint women and families. The Burnout Cure dispels common cultural myths that often leave women feeling “never good enough.” Through scriptural quotes, personal stories, and clinical examples, Hanks offers a bevy of tools designed to help sisters identify and meet their emotional needs, to accept their limitations, to let go of the guilt and perfectionism, and to lean on the Lord.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Lds, Mental Health, Religion, Inspirational

144 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 2013

About the author

Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD, LCSW is passionate about helping women find their voice in their own lives, relationships, and in the world. She is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, author and blogger, local and national media contributor, online influencer, consultant, award-winning performing songwriter, and founder and director of Wasatch Family Therapy. A native Californian, Hanks currently lives in Salt Lake City, UT with her husband and their 4 children. She enjoys spending time with family, taking naps, reading, writing, playing roller derby, and eating a lot of chocolate.

Reviews

[Erika B. (SOS BOOKS) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I really needed this book! Lately I've felt a little like the black match on the front of the book! So this book is an awesome self-help book for all ladies out there! Because sometimes we have a really hard time saying no and taking on way too much! This book is excellent in breaking down different ways and methods on how to deal with your emotions and different situations to prevent you from becoming too frazzled! My favorite chapter was called Practice Being Kind to Yourself. It says-

"If you pay attention to your self-talk-the thoughts you have about yourself-you might realize that somewhere between 60 and 85 percent of what you say to yourself is negative. If you said the same negative things out loud to yourself, no one would want to be around you! And yet many of us say unkind, critical, harsh, and judgmental things to ourselves every day. Now take all your negative self-talk and imagine a three-year-old girl standing in front of you. Picture saying those things to her: "Eww! Disgusting! Gross! I can't believe you said that! You're so stupid! You did it again!" Can you imagine the hurt and pain those things would cause her? So many of us talk to ourselves that way all the time, often without being aware that we do, and then we wonder why we struggle to feel good about ourselves. I have an image in my mind of that little three-year-old girl buried somewhere inside every grown woman. It's like those little Russian nesting dolls where you open one up and there's another one. She's in there, along with the five-year-old, the eight-year-old, the fifteen-year old, and on up to the fifty-year old and the eighty-year old. We all have a vulnerable, sweet child inside. No matter what your age, those kinds of words are hurtful to you. It's so important to practice being kind to yourself."

Amen sister!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well. I am still thinking and processing this book. This is one of the most useful things I've read outside of the scriptures for a while. I did try to do as many of the thought and other exercises as I could, I still think I have some more work to do. I don't even know how many times I cried. So many of the responses the author quoted in the book, from women clients or workshop attendees, could have been said by me. I'm at least sometimes guilty of most of the "wrong" thinking here. I think I'm going to be working on this for a while. I really, really struggle with the "But God must have meant for me to do all this, because He gave it all to me" thinking, even when I clearly CANNOT do all of it and wake up every morning discouraged at the mountain of tasks, many of which will remain undone. My first post on this book was actually a pretty whiny rant on why I'm still overwhelmed. :-) I took it down. Trying to be a little more rational here! I am having trouble sorting through and deciding what I actually DO need to do, and what can I lighten up on? But it all seems so critical! And (yes, I know) Sister So-and-so seems to be doing all of it just fine, clearly I'm a slacker! I do know what I need to feel nurtured and able to cope. I'm an introvert. It's easy. I need time to relax, think, read, write. Not a lot. But I need to be able to count on doing this. And this summer, I have not been able to. No wonder I'm getting ragged around the edges and cranky! I'll be going back through the book, slowly, and writing down things I need to remember and think about and journal through, and see if I can let some of this seep slowly in. I'm blessed to have found this. I did feel at times like I was really deeply understood and that I was getting a mental hug. I just need to find a way to bring this into the everyday where I live and stress. :-)

[Jessica Evans · Rating 3 out of 5]

Generally she only uses things I already heard and knew from others. My favorite nugget was “We are stewards of our emotional energy.” We have been entrusted with your energy - we need to not dry it out, but use it, and replenish it so we can continue to be helpful and grow into who we can be.

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.... I really liked this book!! It was useful and uplifting. I greatly appreciated the gentle reminder of the importance of self-care.

[Madison LibraryBookFamily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Six things to beat burnout
1. Feel and express full range of emotions
2. Allow yourself to say NO
3. Do emotional family history
4. Take responsibility for own happiness
5. Practice being kind to yourself
6. Learn to ask for and accept help

Combination of book and workbook. Prompted a lot of thought and soul searching.

[Cathie Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second time I have read this book. The words always inspire and help me.

[Shauna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever felt weary in well-doing?
Have you ever felt less than someone else?
Have you ever felt overwhelmed and under appreciated?
Now you have 6 Emotional Burnout Cures in this WONDERFUL book!

Cures that will help you meet your emotional needs, accept your limitations, let go of the guilt and perfectionism, and help you learn to lean on the Lord.

Filled with personal stories, scriptural quotes and clinical stories this book dispels the myths that leave women feeling that we are 'never good enough.'

There are some REALLY GOOD HELPS in this book!
Every woman can benefit from reading this book!

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Burnout Cure is the perfect message to call women back. Back from over extending and neglecting themselves. In a completely logical way Julie de Azevedo Hanks walks through six ways to help yourself in living the life God wants us to live. She debunks common Mormon culture myths with scripture and latter day revelation from prophets of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. By defining how to fully live a balanced life in this overwhelming world, woman (and men) can avoid feeling burned out.

[Mardi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it so much! The Burnout Cure is super refreshing, positive and upbeat while focusing on the issues that come up so often for women in the LDS Faith. It was full of tons of LDS quotes and scripture references. I felt quite rejuvenated after reading this. Thank you Julie de Azevedo Hanks. Your advice will stick with me and help me now and in the years to come!

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the chapters I found very helpful. Other chapters dealt with issues that I don't struggle with, so they were a bit boring for me. But overall, I think this is a great book for women, particularly LDS women, and I think every woman can find some useful tips and encouragement for dealing with burnout.

[Hil White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book. The author really gave me new perspective. I liked that there were exercises throughout the book and that the author shared her own personal experiences. I would love to go to one of her seminars.

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so motivating. Julie Hanks dispels false ideas that most women have about themselves and the world around them. She uses gospel principles to tell women that they are good enough and of value.

[Samara West · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't stop reading this book... I love it!

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book came highly recommended by a friend. It wasn't quite what I need right now. But, I can see how at a different point in my life this would be a very helpful book. 3.5 stars.

[Aneesa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I *loved* this book. I listened to the audio version, which is read by the author. I had it in my car and turned it on as I drove over a month or more. I liked that it went slow enough for me to digest that way. The author reads it very slow and enunciates it clearly. (Sometimes too slow for me). There are some formatting things that I missed by listening instead of reading, there are several lists and other "pause and reflect" sections that I imagined were set apart in the printed book. But enough about format, the content was great. I found it empowering, calming, and reassuring. There is a *lot* of spiritual content, so probably not recommended for non-Christian readers. This book is written for the overwhelmed and overworked woman. It is like therapy in a book. I needed it dearly this year, but I will probably read it again in a few years.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I could give this 4.5 stars. I don’t LOVE reading self-help books but this one is so reassuring. It tackles the challenges we as women face and why some many of us are left feeling empty and burnt-out at times. She talks about emotions and how they are OK to feel— even anger, frustration and disappointment. She brings in scriptures to drive the ideas home. It gave some great advice about how to say ‘no’ and be ok with, how to love your body, how to accept help, and how to be self-reliant and happy. Even though it is a short book, there were times when it felt like beating a dead horse... and could have been said in half the words/examples but I genuinely felt very uplifted after reading this.

[Adrienna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came close to burnout or compassion fatigue about 2 years ago, after offering voluntary, positive programming in the library, with a regular workload. There were times I felt the men didn't change, show transformation, or any real results--yet I had to learn that they needed to undergo the process/es and this could take time due to trauma.

This book started off decently in the introduction and took notes, with the exception of the section on the LDS spiritual insight (not my denomination or spiritual upbringing). I deeply connected and greatly enjoyed chapter or cure 5. I jotted notes from these sections of the title. I also recommended it to a therapist.

Leisure read
A.Dionna Turner, MACP (A), A=Attending
MACP secondary material/therapy

[Rachel Meyers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Julie Hanks doesn't know me but she's responsible for a life changing experience that happened to me. I was sitting on the dentist office and a local talk show was on the TV there. Julie was a guest and was talking about healing from abuse. I was so inspired that I went home that day and called her psychology office only to find out she didn't see patients anymore. I then made an appointment with another woman that worked in the same office. That was the beginning of healing and happiness for me like I've never had before in my life. Thank you for your book and for being an inspiration to me Julie!

[Veronica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really good stuff, some fluff (which is unsurprising from a Christian book). I really appreciated the point about 3 ways of communicating: lantern (shedding light on a conversation and eliminating deception, blame or guessing with compassion and patience for more honest and open communication), sword (accusing, blame seeking, aggressive or passive aggressive, fails to recognize others perspectives), and doormat (no self-advocacy, no recognition of self worth, likely to lead to resentment and eventual emotional explosion or repression, also struggles to understand other's perspective).

[Margie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very superficial book, as in a book which didn't delve. Many times I felt I was being talked to like a teenager; however, due to what I found to be good information regarding the small difference between selfish (your own self-interest w/o regard for others) and selfless (your own self-interest WITH regard for others) and the discussion about the two in regards to taking care of ourselves so we are strong enough to help others lifted this in my view to the 3-star level.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audio book, so I haven’t done any of the “work” included in the book other than pondering topics and questions. I believe it helpful enough that I’m buying a physical copy for myself and my three daughters. I’m looking forward to discussing it together and sharing what I now recognize as my own periods of depression. Though intended for women, I think it’s equally applicable to men and potentially helpful for couples.

[Britney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was groundbreaking and an answer to prayer for me! Thank you Julie Hanks! She has perfectly pin pointed the way women (especially LDS) think because she's talked to thousands of them! This helped me figure out the solution to a battle I've been having in my head and heart for TOO LONG. Chapter 4 was the one I needed most. I listened to it on Des Book Plus. Highly recommend this one!

[Jessica Nunnally · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful tips (although some may be challenging to implement) on preventing burnout. Good advice on maturing emotionally and on being self-aware. I love the gospel ties throughout and recommended this book to coworkers before I'd even finished the first chapter. Take time to ponder and answer the questions and do the exercises and this book can be a growing tool.

[Quin555 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just what I needed at this point in my life! Love the way she reminds us of how to become who we truly are meant to be! Not perfect but constantly growing! I will need to go over this book several times!

[Mindy Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book. So many great insights into myself and how I am versus how I should be. Very insightful. I always have a hard time with books like these-because o read to escape-not to learn, but this was a very timely book as I have been struggling with being a mom.

[Angie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I gave up about halfway through...some of the information was good, I didn't relate to a fair amount of the problems she discussed. Lots of talk about guilt and the pressure to live up to expectations; that's not something I stress about.

[Brenda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this years ago when I was feeling burned out by demands of motherhood. I found it to be a weak book with very little information. She classifies communication weirdly. Offers very little help -- just a book with fluff and feel good meaningless terms.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book!

[Ashley Juergens · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m giving this 4 stars because Self help books aren’t my favorite. I feel like I learned some good things from this one though.

[Shiloah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Big review for me. If I had read this 20 years ago I most likely would have rated it 5 stars. It wasn’t what I was looking for now.