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Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity
You have been called to a life of sexual success!
Every Christian man is born into a sexual war. The enemy attacks the young, hoping to scar them permanently and leave them ruined. But your past is not enough to keep you from the enduringly clean life you want and deserve.
Clean is a priceless, no-nonsense resource for every husband, father, brother, son, friend, pastor, and Christian leader on the front lines of this war. It is a soldier’s handbook for those ready to reclaim their homes, churches, and nations for the God who has built them to succeed.
Dr. Doug Weiss has been clean for more than twenty-five years, and he has devoted his life to helping other men achieve victory. “This book,” says Dr. Weiss, “contains tested and tried weapons for you to get and stay clean, not for a week, month or year, but for the rest of your life.”
Clean provides you with biblical, practical, dependable weapons for seizing and maintaining a clean life for yourself and those you love. You will even be equipped to reach out to your brothers-in-arms and teach them to walk with you in cleanness.
“If the Devil wants war, bring it on!” says Dr. Weiss.
Join the battle! Your sexual life is worth fighting for!
Every Christian man is born into a sexual war. The enemy attacks the young, hoping to scar them permanently and leave them ruined. But your past is not enough to keep you from the enduringly clean life you want and deserve.
Clean is a priceless, no-nonsense resource for every husband, father, brother, son, friend, pastor, and Christian leader on the front lines of this war. It is a soldier’s handbook for those ready to reclaim their homes, churches, and nations for the God who has built them to succeed.
Dr. Doug Weiss has been clean for more than twenty-five years, and he has devoted his life to helping other men achieve victory. “This book,” says Dr. Weiss, “contains tested and tried weapons for you to get and stay clean, not for a week, month or year, but for the rest of your life.”
Clean provides you with biblical, practical, dependable weapons for seizing and maintaining a clean life for yourself and those you love. You will even be equipped to reach out to your brothers-in-arms and teach them to walk with you in cleanness.
“If the Devil wants war, bring it on!” says Dr. Weiss.
Join the battle! Your sexual life is worth fighting for!
225 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 7, 2013
124 people are currently reading
224 people want to read
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August 6, 2013
Clean is written to guide readers into becoming clean and living a life with sexual integrity and purity. Douglas Weiss is a nationally known psychologist, speaker, and an author. He is also the president of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy. He is also a committed Christian who had written an excellent book on the subject of staying clean from all bad forms of sexual perversity. He was very transparent and open about his own personal struggle with masturbation and pornography while in Bible school. He admitted that he would confess then keep masturbating and he would remain stuck in this deadly cycle. When he went to seminary he was still struggling but it was becoming less frequent. He felt God prompting him to tell his roommate that he masturbated and to be obedient he would confess to him. Luckily he had a trusting roommate that prayed for him and was a true friend throughout his sexual battles. He eventually realized that if he acted out he would have to confess to him. He finally broke the cycle and became free and now he wants to help every man, son, father, brother, pastor, daughter, and wife to be completely free.
He begins the book by digging into depth and sharing the statistics of how pornography has dramatically increased and is becoming more widespread. Times have changed and pornography is easily more accessible to users because of new technology, for example, iPads and smart phones. You can pretty much look at pornography anywhere.
Some of the statistics stated:
“Every second 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography.” (Page 6)
“Every second, $3,075.64 is being spend on pornography.” (Page 6)
“In 2006, the United States had 244,661,900 porn Web pages.” (Page 9)
“The Internet Filter Learning Center (2008) states, “Approximately 13% of the US population regularly views Internet pornography 75% of whom are males.” (Page 10).
“Woman accessing adult websites each month 9.4 million.” (Chart on page 11).
All of the statistics presented displays that pornography is mostly viewed by men. But Douglas Weiss even admitted that his office has noticed that they are having to treat more women sex addicts than ever before. One survey found that 37% of pastors are also struggling with viewing pornography. As if the statistics couldn’t get any worst, next Douglas revealed the hidden dangers of our adolescents and their pornography habits. The average age that a child sees pornography is age 11. Between the ages of 8-16 years old 90% of children and teens have observed porn online and most are looking at porn while supposedly doing homework. Sex and pornography as you can perceive is influencing our generations and is negatively affecting many families and future families. I only shared some of the appalling statistics about pornography but the book encompassed tons of more statistics that will impact the reader.
Douglas Weiss explored the veracity that some of the scripture characters had to endure regarding their sexual temptation. For instance, Joseph master’s wife, Potiphar attempted to seduce him into bed and tried multiple times to get him to give in to the temptation. Joseph said no repeatedly and he wouldn’t give in to her pleas. He stood his ground and wound up arrested for a crime he didn’t commit. But what if he had given in and had sex and had a moment of thrilling pleasure would he had been able to fulfill his destiny. As Douglas pointed out, “sexual purity is what maintained Joseph’s destiny” (Page 23). He also looks at Samson and Delilah and the affect that one decision that lead to the big reveal and the secret of Samson’s power that cost him dearly. Just like the characters in the Bible, we are in a fight with the devil for our great destiny that Christ wants us to accomplish for His glory.
I was truly shocked when Douglas went into details concerning Revelation 2:20-22 and the woman Jezebel is very much active today. This was the first time that I have learnt about the incredible power that the woman Jezebel has on our world and how she is teaching and spreading the news that it’s okay to have sexual intercourse with whomever you please or masturbate and watch porn if you want and when you want to. All of this is lies from the satan and Jesus has declared that Jezebel will be made to go through suffering and whoever commits adultery with her will also suffer. The good news is that if we have fallen and sinned God is able to forgive us when we repent for our sins and turn from our ways.
Douglas has opened my eyes to this numerous passages and the importance of staying clean. I also enjoyed that he shared stories about how people have gotten trapped in sexual sin. I liked how he tried to wake people up to the critical issues by relating stories that people could connect to. Some of the stories include workers getting caught at work printing off homosexual pornography and they ultimately get fired, one guy even called a prostitute and he accidently conferenced in his wife while setting up the encounter, others had sexual affairs and some accidently became pregnant or got someone pregnant, a company executive had an affair with an employee and she filed sexual harassment and sued him and the company, some even tried to hire a prostitute and it turned out to be undercover cop instead and they got arrested, and many more heartbreaking stories.
One of the biggest takeaways was the serious emphasize on staying clean for our sons, daughters, and our wife or future wife. This is one of the paramount books that I have read on sexual temptations and how to become clean from our sexual addictions. I also immensely loved the countless charts featuring how looking at porn, masturbating, or having an affair affects our spouse and our children. This section of the book would make any man want to conquer the sexual battle satan is engaging with us. This taught me that a number of women will unfortunately become depressed because of their husband’s sexual struggles. I also learned that my sexual behaviors can affect my child self-esteem, spirituality, social, and dating life. I commend Douglas for sharing who are sexual organs truthfully belong to and it was very eye opening. I loved how the book contained many scripture passages discussed to teach readers what we might have missed before. The most scandalous Bible stories Douglas went into massive detail was the city of Sodom and Noah’s son Ham (Canaan’s father). This is the first time I have even remotely understood the implicit story about Ham.
I would recommend this life changing book to every man, husband, father, son, brother, pastor, and business man. Basically if you’re a man you without a doubt need to read this book! This book is also for both single men and married men. I must warn you that this isn’t a book for the fainthearted and most of the material and information will disturb you significantly. But how sweet the freedom and revelation will inspire you to change and stay sexual clean for yourself, your wife or future wife, your kids or future kids, and grandchildren or future grandchildren. I have personally struggled with masturbation and pornography and this book was an enormous tool to encourage me and help me to succeed in staying clean for my future wife and children even if I am still currently single. I would also recommend this book to all females who are wanting to understand what their husband or children our facing in regards to their sexual integrity. The book had many principles and plans to overcome and to help men maintain their sexual integrity and to stay clean. I would highly endorse this book to every man who is looking for a resource to assist them in their journey towards their sexual honor and destiny!
"I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program."
He begins the book by digging into depth and sharing the statistics of how pornography has dramatically increased and is becoming more widespread. Times have changed and pornography is easily more accessible to users because of new technology, for example, iPads and smart phones. You can pretty much look at pornography anywhere.
Some of the statistics stated:
“Every second 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography.” (Page 6)
“Every second, $3,075.64 is being spend on pornography.” (Page 6)
“In 2006, the United States had 244,661,900 porn Web pages.” (Page 9)
“The Internet Filter Learning Center (2008) states, “Approximately 13% of the US population regularly views Internet pornography 75% of whom are males.” (Page 10).
“Woman accessing adult websites each month 9.4 million.” (Chart on page 11).
All of the statistics presented displays that pornography is mostly viewed by men. But Douglas Weiss even admitted that his office has noticed that they are having to treat more women sex addicts than ever before. One survey found that 37% of pastors are also struggling with viewing pornography. As if the statistics couldn’t get any worst, next Douglas revealed the hidden dangers of our adolescents and their pornography habits. The average age that a child sees pornography is age 11. Between the ages of 8-16 years old 90% of children and teens have observed porn online and most are looking at porn while supposedly doing homework. Sex and pornography as you can perceive is influencing our generations and is negatively affecting many families and future families. I only shared some of the appalling statistics about pornography but the book encompassed tons of more statistics that will impact the reader.
Douglas Weiss explored the veracity that some of the scripture characters had to endure regarding their sexual temptation. For instance, Joseph master’s wife, Potiphar attempted to seduce him into bed and tried multiple times to get him to give in to the temptation. Joseph said no repeatedly and he wouldn’t give in to her pleas. He stood his ground and wound up arrested for a crime he didn’t commit. But what if he had given in and had sex and had a moment of thrilling pleasure would he had been able to fulfill his destiny. As Douglas pointed out, “sexual purity is what maintained Joseph’s destiny” (Page 23). He also looks at Samson and Delilah and the affect that one decision that lead to the big reveal and the secret of Samson’s power that cost him dearly. Just like the characters in the Bible, we are in a fight with the devil for our great destiny that Christ wants us to accomplish for His glory.
I was truly shocked when Douglas went into details concerning Revelation 2:20-22 and the woman Jezebel is very much active today. This was the first time that I have learnt about the incredible power that the woman Jezebel has on our world and how she is teaching and spreading the news that it’s okay to have sexual intercourse with whomever you please or masturbate and watch porn if you want and when you want to. All of this is lies from the satan and Jesus has declared that Jezebel will be made to go through suffering and whoever commits adultery with her will also suffer. The good news is that if we have fallen and sinned God is able to forgive us when we repent for our sins and turn from our ways.
Douglas has opened my eyes to this numerous passages and the importance of staying clean. I also enjoyed that he shared stories about how people have gotten trapped in sexual sin. I liked how he tried to wake people up to the critical issues by relating stories that people could connect to. Some of the stories include workers getting caught at work printing off homosexual pornography and they ultimately get fired, one guy even called a prostitute and he accidently conferenced in his wife while setting up the encounter, others had sexual affairs and some accidently became pregnant or got someone pregnant, a company executive had an affair with an employee and she filed sexual harassment and sued him and the company, some even tried to hire a prostitute and it turned out to be undercover cop instead and they got arrested, and many more heartbreaking stories.
One of the biggest takeaways was the serious emphasize on staying clean for our sons, daughters, and our wife or future wife. This is one of the paramount books that I have read on sexual temptations and how to become clean from our sexual addictions. I also immensely loved the countless charts featuring how looking at porn, masturbating, or having an affair affects our spouse and our children. This section of the book would make any man want to conquer the sexual battle satan is engaging with us. This taught me that a number of women will unfortunately become depressed because of their husband’s sexual struggles. I also learned that my sexual behaviors can affect my child self-esteem, spirituality, social, and dating life. I commend Douglas for sharing who are sexual organs truthfully belong to and it was very eye opening. I loved how the book contained many scripture passages discussed to teach readers what we might have missed before. The most scandalous Bible stories Douglas went into massive detail was the city of Sodom and Noah’s son Ham (Canaan’s father). This is the first time I have even remotely understood the implicit story about Ham.
I would recommend this life changing book to every man, husband, father, son, brother, pastor, and business man. Basically if you’re a man you without a doubt need to read this book! This book is also for both single men and married men. I must warn you that this isn’t a book for the fainthearted and most of the material and information will disturb you significantly. But how sweet the freedom and revelation will inspire you to change and stay sexual clean for yourself, your wife or future wife, your kids or future kids, and grandchildren or future grandchildren. I have personally struggled with masturbation and pornography and this book was an enormous tool to encourage me and help me to succeed in staying clean for my future wife and children even if I am still currently single. I would also recommend this book to all females who are wanting to understand what their husband or children our facing in regards to their sexual integrity. The book had many principles and plans to overcome and to help men maintain their sexual integrity and to stay clean. I would highly endorse this book to every man who is looking for a resource to assist them in their journey towards their sexual honor and destiny!
"I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program."
July 8, 2013
Clean:A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity was a very challenging read considering I am struggling with this very issue myself and have been for quite some time. Maybe the issue is that I keep claiming that I am in fact “struggling”. This is a very practical book; more so than any other book I have read on this subject.
In this day and age, the struggle with porn is not just with the men anymore, it has affected woman as well. This may be a good book for women to read as well to help understand the guy, and maybe apply some of the things that is taught in this book in your own life. This issue of porn has shaped and marked and is doing a good job at trying to destroy this nation. It has already destroyed the meaning of marriage.
Ill give a sample taste of this book just to spark your interest in why you need to read this book.
“Clean is who God made you! Clean is the way God thinks and feels about all his daughters”
For the single man: “Your spiritual Facebook status is married without a spouse. Single denotes an idea of freedom that slaves of Christ do not have. You will most likely be married one day. Honor your future wife with your life. Filling yourself with porn and lust dishonors yourself, your God and your future wife. Be clean and accountable as you wait for her”.
Men, stay on the offense. Men stay connected. Dont fall into isolation like I have. It has almost destroyed me and is trying to do so now. Time to stand up!
Clean by Douglas Weiss was given to me by Booksneeze for free in exchange for a review.
In this day and age, the struggle with porn is not just with the men anymore, it has affected woman as well. This may be a good book for women to read as well to help understand the guy, and maybe apply some of the things that is taught in this book in your own life. This issue of porn has shaped and marked and is doing a good job at trying to destroy this nation. It has already destroyed the meaning of marriage.
Ill give a sample taste of this book just to spark your interest in why you need to read this book.
“Clean is who God made you! Clean is the way God thinks and feels about all his daughters”
For the single man: “Your spiritual Facebook status is married without a spouse. Single denotes an idea of freedom that slaves of Christ do not have. You will most likely be married one day. Honor your future wife with your life. Filling yourself with porn and lust dishonors yourself, your God and your future wife. Be clean and accountable as you wait for her”.
Men, stay on the offense. Men stay connected. Dont fall into isolation like I have. It has almost destroyed me and is trying to do so now. Time to stand up!
Clean by Douglas Weiss was given to me by Booksneeze for free in exchange for a review.
April 28, 2013
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. (I Cor. 6:18-20)
The Apostle Paul in the above passage admonishes the believer to at all costs flee from sexual immorality. In an age where all manner of sexual perversion has inundated our society and where access to sexually explicit material can be had from your cell phone to the internet to movies, fleeing sexually immoral behavior and its rabid hold on many even within the church is admittedly difficult. How are we supposed to flee something that is seemingly everywhere around us?
Counselor, author, and sexual addiction expert Dr. Douglas Weiss, in his book Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity presents a number of helpful steps focused specifically on helping men address addiction to sin through a sound and tested biblically focused model.
Weiss begins his book with some rather disturbing statistics concerning the vast influence and hold pornography and sexually explicit materials has on adults and teenagers, male and female alike. Perhaps most disturbing are the statistics regarding the influence of pornography on church leaders. While such statistics are rather disheartening, facing the facts of the matter is one of the first steps to identify the problem. As Weiss correctly notes, not facing this harmful and destructive issue could cause Christian men to “grow coldhearted and believe that viewing pornography is not even a sin.”
A tactic often utilized by Satan is the temptation of sexual sin. Weiss appropriately avers a number of examples presented in Scripture where the response of the one tempted had a direct impact on their life. He notes the response of Joseph to sexual temptation, namely Joseph literally fleeing from Potipher’s wife comparing that with the life of Samson, a man who more often than not, chose to succumb to the wiles of sexual immorality. Thus, understanding the grave impact sexual sin can have on your life is vital. This is not something to treat lightly. Weiss aptly notes “God does not tolerate sexual sin. He never has and he never will…Tolerance of this type of sin in our lives and in the local church is unacceptable.”
Building upon the reality of this war of sexual immorality that is being waged on men, Weiss reminds the believer that God has provided us with weapons to fight back in order to regain the spiritual ground so many have given up in this area of their life. He rightly avers that we “need to aim our protective gear and weapons against the enemy’s plan for our lives, so we don’t one day become the perpetrator of this crime of lying, cheating, and hurting those we love.” Stopping the cycle of sexual temptation and its horrific impacts on not just your own life, but the lives of everyone around you is vitally important. This battle against what Scripture calls a war fought in heavenly places (Eph. 6:12), can only be won by getting at the root of the problem through the power of the Holy Spirit working in our lives. A foundational element for rooting out the entangling snares of sexual sin is that of repentance. Identifying we have a problem and repenting of that problem involves humbling oneself before God. Weiss correctly states “If a man doesn’t humble himself before God and others during this season of sin, he will be faced with the seed of lust reaching its final fruit, death.”
Weiss provides a rather salient formula that all men should memorize: U+P=D. This stands for U (you) plus P (pornography or any other sexual sin) equals D (destruction). Essentially playing around with sexual issues such as lust, pornography, masturbation or other deviant and perverse behaviors is playing with fire. When used in its proper context and situation, fire is beneficial. For example, a campfire on a cold night provides warmth. A fire in a charcoal grill will properly cook a delicious steak. Those are examples of a fire that provides usefulness to the user within a contained environment or situation for a specific purpose. However, as Weiss notes “Fire in an uncontained situation, however, can wreak significant damage…The only containment for sex and sexual appreciation of a woman is marriage.” Thus anything outside of that proper containment is playing with fire that will rage and that will only serve to destroy many areas of one’s life to include all manner of relationships, possibly for many years in the future and many succeeding generations.
So how does one obtain freedom from sexual sin? Weiss avers the place to start, once repentance has begun is with what he calls a “clean brain.” He provides a number of practical and scientific examples that are quite fascinating in regards to how the brain is wired and more specifically how what we view or focus on cements itself into our brain. A rather helpful example Weiss provides is this: “Step one: you create a high chemical reward when you release sexually. Step two: you bond or connect to that image or person. The bond is long term, not just immediate. Step three: your body stores this bond, and you are attracted to that person and image in reality or fantasy. You create a landmine. Step four: your environment or fantasy world can recreate this landmine and, whamo, you are flooded with feelings towards an innocent person or image.” This is why sexual immorality has such a significant impact on so many people, especially considering the flood of sexually perverse imagery that floods our eyes on a daily basis.
Weiss provides some rather interesting tips he has found successful in his experience as a counselor for obtaining a clean brain including placing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it against your skin every time you are tempted with sexually improper behavior. Another is what he calls “Braindar” or using your brain in the opposite manner it has been trained, namely looking the opposite direction when sexual temptation is calling or rather yelling out your name. Yet another tip is the “brain covenant” in keeping with 2 Cor. 10:5. This involves covenanting with God to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Taking every thought captive also must translate into our physical bodies coming under the Lordship of Christ as well. The Apostle Paul, in Weiss reminds the reader there are three owners of our sexuality, God, your wife, and yourself. God having ownership means that as the Apostle Paul notes in Romans 12:1 reminds us that we are, “in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship.” This includes our sexual organs as after all they are part of our body and part of what is to be continually offered up to God as a living sacrifice. For those who are married, those two words “I Do” mean you made a commitment to your wife, a covenant relationship, a marriage bond of loyalty and sexual fidelity. Many married men perhaps forget something Weiss aptly notes and that is “Your wife owns your sexuality. She has authority over this area, and that is God’s way of protecting and providing for you sexually.” This begs the question as to what single men should. Since they do not have a wife to protect them, does that get them off the proverbial hook? In no way, shape, or form! Weiss brilliantly reminds the reader “No person is single if he or she is a Christian. You are married to Christ. Your spiritual Facebook status is married without a spouse. Single denotes an idea of freedom that slaves to Christ do not have. You will most likely be married one day. Honor your future wife with your life.”
The Apostle Paul notes in Galatians 5:16-25 of the importance of not walking in the flesh and of the need to walk in the Spirit. One aspect of our sinful nature is that of sexual immorality. Notice, however, which fruit of the Spirit is the opposite of sexual immorality or lust. It is the fruit of love. Lust and love are polar opposites and cannot truly exist in the same setting. A vital tip Weiss provides for moving from an attitude of lust to that of love is the need to view members of the opposite sex in an appropriate relational construct. He comments “It is doubtful you will lust after your mom or your sisters. You see them as complete, three-dimensional people. You see them as mothers, sisters, believers, parents, and so on. You see them in a relational context.” This is vitally important. When you are tempted to lust after another woman, view them as a sister in the Lord and focus on praying for that person. This essentially puts the spiritual brakes on lust instead moving you into exercising righteousness and growing the fruit of the Spirit in your life instead of allowing a root of lust to grow.
A final important element on the road to becoming clean in the area of sexual addiction is the need for accountability. Those suffering from sexual sin need people to keep them accountable. The Christian walk was never meant to be lived in a Lone Ranger approach as God created us to live in community with fellow believers. Other forms of accountability, especially in an age where sexually explicit material is available on anything from computers to cell phones, installing software such as Covenant Eyes may be appropriate. Weiss comments “As silly as it sounds, I like Covenant Eyes’ little icon that pops up on my computer and phone. I haven’t looked at porn for more than twenty-five years, but that icon reminds me that God is watching.”
Clean by Dr. Douglas Weiss is an excellent book for anyone either facing issues in their life with sexual addiction or those who have family members or friends struggling with this most deviant of sins. He provides a plethora of biblical counsel based on years of both personal and professional experience that will assist the reader in understanding how to identify this issue within their own life or the life of someone they care for and more importantly, through the power of God ways to slay this dragon. God is calling His people to holiness, and Clean by Dr. Doug Weiss is a powerful tool and a wonderful book on the subject of sexual integrity.
I received this for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers via BookSneeze for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
The Apostle Paul in the above passage admonishes the believer to at all costs flee from sexual immorality. In an age where all manner of sexual perversion has inundated our society and where access to sexually explicit material can be had from your cell phone to the internet to movies, fleeing sexually immoral behavior and its rabid hold on many even within the church is admittedly difficult. How are we supposed to flee something that is seemingly everywhere around us?
Counselor, author, and sexual addiction expert Dr. Douglas Weiss, in his book Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity presents a number of helpful steps focused specifically on helping men address addiction to sin through a sound and tested biblically focused model.
Weiss begins his book with some rather disturbing statistics concerning the vast influence and hold pornography and sexually explicit materials has on adults and teenagers, male and female alike. Perhaps most disturbing are the statistics regarding the influence of pornography on church leaders. While such statistics are rather disheartening, facing the facts of the matter is one of the first steps to identify the problem. As Weiss correctly notes, not facing this harmful and destructive issue could cause Christian men to “grow coldhearted and believe that viewing pornography is not even a sin.”
A tactic often utilized by Satan is the temptation of sexual sin. Weiss appropriately avers a number of examples presented in Scripture where the response of the one tempted had a direct impact on their life. He notes the response of Joseph to sexual temptation, namely Joseph literally fleeing from Potipher’s wife comparing that with the life of Samson, a man who more often than not, chose to succumb to the wiles of sexual immorality. Thus, understanding the grave impact sexual sin can have on your life is vital. This is not something to treat lightly. Weiss aptly notes “God does not tolerate sexual sin. He never has and he never will…Tolerance of this type of sin in our lives and in the local church is unacceptable.”
Building upon the reality of this war of sexual immorality that is being waged on men, Weiss reminds the believer that God has provided us with weapons to fight back in order to regain the spiritual ground so many have given up in this area of their life. He rightly avers that we “need to aim our protective gear and weapons against the enemy’s plan for our lives, so we don’t one day become the perpetrator of this crime of lying, cheating, and hurting those we love.” Stopping the cycle of sexual temptation and its horrific impacts on not just your own life, but the lives of everyone around you is vitally important. This battle against what Scripture calls a war fought in heavenly places (Eph. 6:12), can only be won by getting at the root of the problem through the power of the Holy Spirit working in our lives. A foundational element for rooting out the entangling snares of sexual sin is that of repentance. Identifying we have a problem and repenting of that problem involves humbling oneself before God. Weiss correctly states “If a man doesn’t humble himself before God and others during this season of sin, he will be faced with the seed of lust reaching its final fruit, death.”
Weiss provides a rather salient formula that all men should memorize: U+P=D. This stands for U (you) plus P (pornography or any other sexual sin) equals D (destruction). Essentially playing around with sexual issues such as lust, pornography, masturbation or other deviant and perverse behaviors is playing with fire. When used in its proper context and situation, fire is beneficial. For example, a campfire on a cold night provides warmth. A fire in a charcoal grill will properly cook a delicious steak. Those are examples of a fire that provides usefulness to the user within a contained environment or situation for a specific purpose. However, as Weiss notes “Fire in an uncontained situation, however, can wreak significant damage…The only containment for sex and sexual appreciation of a woman is marriage.” Thus anything outside of that proper containment is playing with fire that will rage and that will only serve to destroy many areas of one’s life to include all manner of relationships, possibly for many years in the future and many succeeding generations.
So how does one obtain freedom from sexual sin? Weiss avers the place to start, once repentance has begun is with what he calls a “clean brain.” He provides a number of practical and scientific examples that are quite fascinating in regards to how the brain is wired and more specifically how what we view or focus on cements itself into our brain. A rather helpful example Weiss provides is this: “Step one: you create a high chemical reward when you release sexually. Step two: you bond or connect to that image or person. The bond is long term, not just immediate. Step three: your body stores this bond, and you are attracted to that person and image in reality or fantasy. You create a landmine. Step four: your environment or fantasy world can recreate this landmine and, whamo, you are flooded with feelings towards an innocent person or image.” This is why sexual immorality has such a significant impact on so many people, especially considering the flood of sexually perverse imagery that floods our eyes on a daily basis.
Weiss provides some rather interesting tips he has found successful in his experience as a counselor for obtaining a clean brain including placing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it against your skin every time you are tempted with sexually improper behavior. Another is what he calls “Braindar” or using your brain in the opposite manner it has been trained, namely looking the opposite direction when sexual temptation is calling or rather yelling out your name. Yet another tip is the “brain covenant” in keeping with 2 Cor. 10:5. This involves covenanting with God to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Taking every thought captive also must translate into our physical bodies coming under the Lordship of Christ as well. The Apostle Paul, in Weiss reminds the reader there are three owners of our sexuality, God, your wife, and yourself. God having ownership means that as the Apostle Paul notes in Romans 12:1 reminds us that we are, “in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship.” This includes our sexual organs as after all they are part of our body and part of what is to be continually offered up to God as a living sacrifice. For those who are married, those two words “I Do” mean you made a commitment to your wife, a covenant relationship, a marriage bond of loyalty and sexual fidelity. Many married men perhaps forget something Weiss aptly notes and that is “Your wife owns your sexuality. She has authority over this area, and that is God’s way of protecting and providing for you sexually.” This begs the question as to what single men should. Since they do not have a wife to protect them, does that get them off the proverbial hook? In no way, shape, or form! Weiss brilliantly reminds the reader “No person is single if he or she is a Christian. You are married to Christ. Your spiritual Facebook status is married without a spouse. Single denotes an idea of freedom that slaves to Christ do not have. You will most likely be married one day. Honor your future wife with your life.”
The Apostle Paul notes in Galatians 5:16-25 of the importance of not walking in the flesh and of the need to walk in the Spirit. One aspect of our sinful nature is that of sexual immorality. Notice, however, which fruit of the Spirit is the opposite of sexual immorality or lust. It is the fruit of love. Lust and love are polar opposites and cannot truly exist in the same setting. A vital tip Weiss provides for moving from an attitude of lust to that of love is the need to view members of the opposite sex in an appropriate relational construct. He comments “It is doubtful you will lust after your mom or your sisters. You see them as complete, three-dimensional people. You see them as mothers, sisters, believers, parents, and so on. You see them in a relational context.” This is vitally important. When you are tempted to lust after another woman, view them as a sister in the Lord and focus on praying for that person. This essentially puts the spiritual brakes on lust instead moving you into exercising righteousness and growing the fruit of the Spirit in your life instead of allowing a root of lust to grow.
A final important element on the road to becoming clean in the area of sexual addiction is the need for accountability. Those suffering from sexual sin need people to keep them accountable. The Christian walk was never meant to be lived in a Lone Ranger approach as God created us to live in community with fellow believers. Other forms of accountability, especially in an age where sexually explicit material is available on anything from computers to cell phones, installing software such as Covenant Eyes may be appropriate. Weiss comments “As silly as it sounds, I like Covenant Eyes’ little icon that pops up on my computer and phone. I haven’t looked at porn for more than twenty-five years, but that icon reminds me that God is watching.”
Clean by Dr. Douglas Weiss is an excellent book for anyone either facing issues in their life with sexual addiction or those who have family members or friends struggling with this most deviant of sins. He provides a plethora of biblical counsel based on years of both personal and professional experience that will assist the reader in understanding how to identify this issue within their own life or the life of someone they care for and more importantly, through the power of God ways to slay this dragon. God is calling His people to holiness, and Clean by Dr. Doug Weiss is a powerful tool and a wonderful book on the subject of sexual integrity.
I received this for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers via BookSneeze for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
June 6, 2013
I don't think many people would argue the fact that we live in a culture saturated with sexual temptations, where porn is easily available with the click of a button, kids are exposed to graphic images earlier and earlier, and the church is filled with men riddled with guilt about their secret sins. Douglas Weiss argues that the church today is under attack, as the evil one tries to tear down men (and women) with sexual sin, robbing them of their God-given destinies - and I completely agree! In response, Weiss has penned the book "Clean", seeking to support men with practical tools to win the battle over sexual temptation and to stand firmly fixed in purity and integrity, as God has designed them to be.
I can honestly say that "Clean" is one of the best books I have yet to encounter on the subject of men achieving sexual integrity. Douglas Weiss writes about the subject with refreshing honesty, being candid about his own past, and using countless examples of how he has worked with men on various issues regarding their sexuality. Weiss isn't afraid to tackle any issue related to sexuality, and so looks at issues related to porn, masturbation, adultery, etc. The book is extremely useful, filled with truly helpful information and steps that men can take to achieve cleanliness. I love the focus in the book on God's word and on men holding each other accountable to stay clean. I also greatly appreciate the hope that this book offers, that change is possible for everyone, and that in God's power men can truly turn their eyes from the deeds of darkness and walk into the light, taking every thought captive to Christ. Weiss also is not making a case here that sex is bad, but rather shows that it is a wonderful gift from God, to be shared between a man and a woman in marriage.
I recommend this book not only for men, but for their wives as well to give them a good understanding of how a male mind works and how temptation effects them. This is a book that should be in the hands of everyone at church, from pastors and people in leadership down to the newest sheep to join the fold. I give this book a rating of 5 stars.
Book has been provided courtesy of the publisher, Thomas Nelson, and the Booksneeze program, for the purposes of this unbiased review
I can honestly say that "Clean" is one of the best books I have yet to encounter on the subject of men achieving sexual integrity. Douglas Weiss writes about the subject with refreshing honesty, being candid about his own past, and using countless examples of how he has worked with men on various issues regarding their sexuality. Weiss isn't afraid to tackle any issue related to sexuality, and so looks at issues related to porn, masturbation, adultery, etc. The book is extremely useful, filled with truly helpful information and steps that men can take to achieve cleanliness. I love the focus in the book on God's word and on men holding each other accountable to stay clean. I also greatly appreciate the hope that this book offers, that change is possible for everyone, and that in God's power men can truly turn their eyes from the deeds of darkness and walk into the light, taking every thought captive to Christ. Weiss also is not making a case here that sex is bad, but rather shows that it is a wonderful gift from God, to be shared between a man and a woman in marriage.
I recommend this book not only for men, but for their wives as well to give them a good understanding of how a male mind works and how temptation effects them. This is a book that should be in the hands of everyone at church, from pastors and people in leadership down to the newest sheep to join the fold. I give this book a rating of 5 stars.
Book has been provided courtesy of the publisher, Thomas Nelson, and the Booksneeze program, for the purposes of this unbiased review
August 11, 2013
Not long ago I read "The Final Freedom" by Dr. Doug Weiss. It contains a significant overview of all of the different factors which can be involved in sexual addiction. So Dr. Weiss seems to be quite knowledgable. Unfortunately, "Clean" feels almost as if it were written by a different person. I was admittedly disappointed. Click here to continue reading...
November 3, 2017
No problems with anything he wrote. The writing feels elementary.
September 23, 2024
Very helpful advice to avoid falling in a sex-driven world. Below are some persona takeaways from the book:
The plan of the enemy (devil) is to seduce then reduce. He seduces you through sexual thoughts and then reduces you for participating.
Your sexual body parts do not belong to you. They first belong to God, then to your wife, and the only use for you is to use the restroom.
Love and lust are polar opposite; one cannot exist while the other is present.
Treat women as God teaches — as mothers or sisters.
Sexually clean men make better husbands, dads, and men as a whole.
What you love, you protect. This is the reason many men protect their sexual sins instead of confessing and getting clean.
Many men travel the road to trouble and think they will not have to pay the tolls, but they are wrong.
Principles to keep you off the road to trouble:
Fear God — Proverbs 8:13
Be honest — past and present
Talk to your wife — your wife wants to be with you forever, and is a great person to talk to
Don’t believe in a secret — Luke 12:2-3; Rev 2:23. There’s no such thing as a secret.
Imagine the worst — list all the people your sin will affect. Imagine how they will feel, and imagine the consequences you will receive from the sin. Knowing the impact of your actions can help you stay away from the road to trouble.
Exit and entrance signs — if you get involved in sexual sins, you are exiting from your wife, exiting from God’s plan for your life, and from God’s best for your life. When you’re tempted, imagine an exit sign above that girl’s head. Your wife, and only your wife, is the only entrance sign to God’s blessings for you. She is your only entrance for your romantic and sexual expressions.
Praise and touch — are you praising your wife, and are you touching her in non sexual ways?
Respect — men need respect from their wives, and if you’re respect needs are being met outside of your marriage, you need to get help and not stay on the road to trouble.
Daily declaration — there’s a need to make daily commitments to stay off the road to trouble. James 1:14.
Prayer — ask God’s strength and help.
Hero to one woman — you can’t be a hero to every woman, but you can to your wife. Let God be the hero to others.
The plan of the enemy (devil) is to seduce then reduce. He seduces you through sexual thoughts and then reduces you for participating.
Your sexual body parts do not belong to you. They first belong to God, then to your wife, and the only use for you is to use the restroom.
Love and lust are polar opposite; one cannot exist while the other is present.
Treat women as God teaches — as mothers or sisters.
Sexually clean men make better husbands, dads, and men as a whole.
What you love, you protect. This is the reason many men protect their sexual sins instead of confessing and getting clean.
Many men travel the road to trouble and think they will not have to pay the tolls, but they are wrong.
Principles to keep you off the road to trouble:
Fear God — Proverbs 8:13
Be honest — past and present
Talk to your wife — your wife wants to be with you forever, and is a great person to talk to
Don’t believe in a secret — Luke 12:2-3; Rev 2:23. There’s no such thing as a secret.
Imagine the worst — list all the people your sin will affect. Imagine how they will feel, and imagine the consequences you will receive from the sin. Knowing the impact of your actions can help you stay away from the road to trouble.
Exit and entrance signs — if you get involved in sexual sins, you are exiting from your wife, exiting from God’s plan for your life, and from God’s best for your life. When you’re tempted, imagine an exit sign above that girl’s head. Your wife, and only your wife, is the only entrance sign to God’s blessings for you. She is your only entrance for your romantic and sexual expressions.
Praise and touch — are you praising your wife, and are you touching her in non sexual ways?
Respect — men need respect from their wives, and if you’re respect needs are being met outside of your marriage, you need to get help and not stay on the road to trouble.
Daily declaration — there’s a need to make daily commitments to stay off the road to trouble. James 1:14.
Prayer — ask God’s strength and help.
Hero to one woman — you can’t be a hero to every woman, but you can to your wife. Let God be the hero to others.
November 12, 2019
My rating for this is greatly influenced by this time. At this time in history, we need a frank book such as this. Dr. Weiss' writing style, analogies and the depth of the thoughts he has written here (save when he discusses scientific studies and neurology) are elementary. Even so, we men need a book such as this. Weiss speaks openly about the presence, problem and practical ways to deal with sexual temptation and addiction in ways I have not heard discuss, especially not in the church. With this book, I now know it is both good and necessary to approach and wade into the topic of sexual immorality. Our nation and our world has a grave problem with the ubiquitous presence and influence of pornography and this problem is killing us one man and woman at a time, and Weiss states this in plain terms. As rabbis would say, Weiss is bringing light to the darkness. Most importantly, Weiss plants hope in his books' readers, which we need if we want to believe this problem is surmountable.
We need a book such as this.
We need a book such as this.
June 19, 2021
This is a good book with inspirational words in. Definitely helps to maintain focus on sexual purity and integrity.
Some issues I had however is that firstly, this seems aimed very much at married men, of which I am not. Secondly, I felt the general structure of the book left much to be desired. I have read similar articles, ebooks on the topic and a clearer structure for the book may have helped drive some of the messages home. This could include chapters clearly on scriptural moments regarding purity. Perhaps a section on the biological implications of porn etc. Perhaps this is not the book for that.
This book definitely sheds insight on the struggle with sexual impurity and is very helpful if you have many of the resources he mentions to hand: a wife, a committed pastor, and a group of sexual clean men to talk to.
Would recommend still however as the insights are still valuable and who knows what might lead you or your loved one to a life of being sexually clean.
Some issues I had however is that firstly, this seems aimed very much at married men, of which I am not. Secondly, I felt the general structure of the book left much to be desired. I have read similar articles, ebooks on the topic and a clearer structure for the book may have helped drive some of the messages home. This could include chapters clearly on scriptural moments regarding purity. Perhaps a section on the biological implications of porn etc. Perhaps this is not the book for that.
This book definitely sheds insight on the struggle with sexual impurity and is very helpful if you have many of the resources he mentions to hand: a wife, a committed pastor, and a group of sexual clean men to talk to.
Would recommend still however as the insights are still valuable and who knows what might lead you or your loved one to a life of being sexually clean.
September 21, 2023
This was a pretty good book on sexual addiction to include porn and extramarital affairs. He had some good recommendations on actions to take to stop the addiction. Some of this stuff was the run of the mill stuff that is still good about porn recovery. Other things I have heard/read in more recent material from James Clear and Gary Willis that is I'm lone with research related to neuroplastucuty and I believe has some merit to it. Weiss does add a couple of excellent chapters to cover things in marriages that contribute to sexual immorality. These two chapters made the book especially helpful. One problem he calls intimacy anorexia. This is worth all married couples reading I believe. It is largely not talked about. Some of Weiss' chapters were kind of fillers in nature, but a good overall book I would recommend.
January 2, 2018
Absolutely a must-read for every Christian man. It offers guidance and instruction on how to remain sexually pure, ultimately restoring marriages, creating trustworthy leaders, and shaping inspiring fathers. This book can be read by both single and married men, and it also encourages those that are not struggling to help their brothers in need in a variety of ways. This has encouraged me to live the rest of my life clean from my past filth and to pursue a future that allows me to give the very best love to my future wife, which is all of me instead of sharing my affections with other girls or fantasies. I encourage every Christian man to read this and dedicate their lives in purity.
October 12, 2018
Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity by Douglas Weiss, PhD
A challenging read for all men.
A necessary read for all men.
Whether you’re dealing with sexual addiction, recovering from sexual addiction, or treating men in this area, this book is a valuable resource. It provides insight and tools to overcome the addiction, to restore our relationships, to maintain our recovery, and to help other men achieve their own victories.
Recovering is not easy.
But it is so worth it.
This book will help get you there.
A challenging read for all men.
A necessary read for all men.
Whether you’re dealing with sexual addiction, recovering from sexual addiction, or treating men in this area, this book is a valuable resource. It provides insight and tools to overcome the addiction, to restore our relationships, to maintain our recovery, and to help other men achieve their own victories.
Recovering is not easy.
But it is so worth it.
This book will help get you there.
October 30, 2023
Some really good nuggets of wisdom.
A culture of confession among believers should not be a novelty; it should be a reality. Repent to the Lord (and turn from sin), confess to one another, and pray for one another that you may be healed. When one or more of these three is lacking, we're off kilter.
I was pleasantly surprised how much Bible and discipleship focus was in the text. We tend to secularize therapy for addiction - but life in Christ, through the Holy Spirit will always be integral to our approach.
A culture of confession among believers should not be a novelty; it should be a reality. Repent to the Lord (and turn from sin), confess to one another, and pray for one another that you may be healed. When one or more of these three is lacking, we're off kilter.
I was pleasantly surprised how much Bible and discipleship focus was in the text. We tend to secularize therapy for addiction - but life in Christ, through the Holy Spirit will always be integral to our approach.
June 22, 2024
This gave me lots of really good insight on how to live the sexually clean life that God desires for everyone. The stories and the practices/principles in this book were extremely helpful in understanding this more and how to go about this lifestyle. I loved how he emphasized at the end how these principles need to be taught to our children, so they can teach their children, and so forth all for the goal of breaking generational curses of sexual sin and promoting healthy clean lives and marriages.
April 21, 2018
I can’t recommend this book enough. Every man should read it, I guarantee you’ll get something useful out of it. If you’re single, there may be portions where you’re tempted to set it aside because it doesn’t apply yet, but hang in there. Throughout the book there are ‘Oh wow’ moments that are completely worth it.
I’ve given away multiple copies of this book, and will continue to do so. Completely worth it for every man in this fight.
I’ve given away multiple copies of this book, and will continue to do so. Completely worth it for every man in this fight.
February 2, 2024
This book is fine in and of itself. I find that I've bumped into a philosophy that happens with a lot of authors looking for someone to stop watching porn. In an attempt to keep people away from it, they implore shame-based tactics and this book is similar. I find that shame is not a sustainable source of change.
It is worth noting that there are a lot of practical applications in this book that might be helpful to a reader who needs something hands on.
It is worth noting that there are a lot of practical applications in this book that might be helpful to a reader who needs something hands on.
May 5, 2017
Written in an easy-to-read yet biblical manner, Douglas Weiss's Clean is must-read for every man in today's world. Statistics show that if you haven't had a brush in with pornography, you know someone who has (even if you don't realize it). Weiss presents practical advice and weaves in theological truths that I hadn't ever heard in the context of sexual purity.
December 26, 2020
Must Read for guys that are ready to get clean!
Great book. Honest, open, discussion about the struggles men face everyday with sexual sin. The author provides great stories and scripture to explain his points and practical advice for getting clean and staying clean. Thankful to have found this book!
Great book. Honest, open, discussion about the struggles men face everyday with sexual sin. The author provides great stories and scripture to explain his points and practical advice for getting clean and staying clean. Thankful to have found this book!
December 26, 2021
I am Clean
Thanks Doug, I have been clean from SA for 2 years now, and understand it is a daily battle that I will fight for the rest of my life. For the last year I have endeavored to close the gap on my IA habits. Thanks for writing his book as, for me it has capsulated much of the teaching I have received from several councilors.
Thanks Doug, I have been clean from SA for 2 years now, and understand it is a daily battle that I will fight for the rest of my life. For the last year I have endeavored to close the gap on my IA habits. Thanks for writing his book as, for me it has capsulated much of the teaching I have received from several councilors.
August 29, 2023
I was very skeptical of the book given I thought it would be cliche, but the principles shared are very easy to apply and produce great results. The author does not come across in a judgmental way at all. He has over 25 years experiene of being free from sexual immorality, and he has spent much of that time helping countless men recover and live the pure, clean life that God has called them to.
August 6, 2018
PROVEN SCRIPTURE BASED
I love this book. As I was reading, I applied what was being taught. Dr. Weiss has shown me the way to clean living, and being a man of integrity with no secrets
I love this book. As I was reading, I applied what was being taught. Dr. Weiss has shown me the way to clean living, and being a man of integrity with no secrets
June 18, 2020
Extremely powerful book, every man should read weather he has struggled sexually or not, because it’s most likely his brothers have in some form and every man hold apart of the key to each other’s freedom
March 11, 2018
I completely agree with the author’s heart, but few of the points he makes truly seem original and I disagree with a lot the individual arguments he makes.
February 25, 2019
Great content here. It's relevant to any man whether you are married or single. I first heard Dr. Weiss from The Conquer Series which I highly recommend checking out!
October 16, 2021
Excellent book and a must have for those seeking freedom from sexual addiction.
February 2, 2024
Solid resource, the church as hole struggles in this realm frequently. Finding solid God Centered literature on this subject is necessary so that the church as whole can heal and grow.
May 3, 2014
I read Clean A proven plan for men committed to sexual integrity, in exchange for honest review by Douglas Weiss. The book was published by Thomas Nelson. I chose this book because, even though I am not a man, I can still find some insight to apply to my celibacy.When I noticed the book on Booksneeze, I had to have it.
Some of the highlights from the book:
Many church leaders fall to temptation themselves, and the ones who do stay pure are often at a loss as to how to help those struggling (p. xvi). (note: I wish my church offered something on purity and celibacy to adults, instead of just to kids. I have asked, but no program exists yet. I am not even sure who to ask to get an accountability partner, without revealing too much of my past).
Internal transformation requires work (p. xvi).
Pages 6 to 9 discusses the prevalence of pornography using statistics. That section was mind-blowing. Porn is a billion dollar industry. Some internet porn is worth millions and billions. America is the top producer of DVD porn.
Both men and women watch porn. Children, who watch porn, face detrimental effects, which include emotional trauma; reduced marriages; exposure to incorrect information about human sexuality, and increased risk of sexual compulsions.
There is a direct connection between your sexual behavior and your destiny in Christ (p. 21). Our level of sexual purity will determine how useful and effective we are.
Getting one taste of something can lead to wanting more (p. 32). If you think you can control lust, then you are deceived (p. 33).
When God has to discipline someone because of a hardened heart, things can go wrong for them (p. 35). The book gave the story of Terry, who printed off internet porn at work. The printer stopped working temporarily. Once it started printing, IT was called. They traced the problem to Terry. Terry got fired and his wife later divorced him. (p. 36). Paul was making a phone call to set up some sex, but did not realize his wife was on the other line. Stan was blackmailed by his mistress, while Marc was sued for sexual harassment.
God provides you weapons to deal with the enemy (p. 47). Some weapons include the fear of God, wisdom, and the word of God. The limitation of the weapons is that they can only go in one direction at a time (either facing the enemy or facing those you love. )
Lust is wrong. Lust can produce fruit and it can lead to death. The first stage of sin is lust. (p. 49). Sin is the evidence the seed has grown (p. 49). Sin also can be fertilized with repeat behavior (p. 50).
You have to be willing to become clean. You need the right protection, armor, and a plan to become clean (p. 58 to 59). You also need to be honest and accountable (p. 61). You also need a consequence set-up, if you do fall prey to sexual sin (p. 62).
Sexual immorality does not just affect you, but everyone else around you. Job, family, kids, social life, etc. I did not realize this until years and years later. If I stayed out late, someone would have to wake up to let me in (since I never had my own place). I had to work hard to hide toys and my porn addiction. Hiding the laptop under covers and plugging the ear phones in, for example. I sought out pleasure before relationships. Pleasure also caused me to think lust was love. I been addicted a few times. I wanted to date some of these men, not for their brains and long-term potential, but for their body parts (and what the body parts could do). Sexual immorality definitely distorted relationships. I heard rumors of people not liking me because I was too sexual, but at the same time, the person, who told me about the rumor, wanted to have sex with me. Sex defined how I treated people of the opposite sex. If you wanted to date me, then I would not have sex with you. If you wanted sex, then it was mostly a one-night stand. Had no interest in repeat sex partners, unless they met a few standards.
I loved this book and definitely recommend it to men and women.
Some of the highlights from the book:
Many church leaders fall to temptation themselves, and the ones who do stay pure are often at a loss as to how to help those struggling (p. xvi). (note: I wish my church offered something on purity and celibacy to adults, instead of just to kids. I have asked, but no program exists yet. I am not even sure who to ask to get an accountability partner, without revealing too much of my past).
Internal transformation requires work (p. xvi).
Pages 6 to 9 discusses the prevalence of pornography using statistics. That section was mind-blowing. Porn is a billion dollar industry. Some internet porn is worth millions and billions. America is the top producer of DVD porn.
Both men and women watch porn. Children, who watch porn, face detrimental effects, which include emotional trauma; reduced marriages; exposure to incorrect information about human sexuality, and increased risk of sexual compulsions.
There is a direct connection between your sexual behavior and your destiny in Christ (p. 21). Our level of sexual purity will determine how useful and effective we are.
Getting one taste of something can lead to wanting more (p. 32). If you think you can control lust, then you are deceived (p. 33).
When God has to discipline someone because of a hardened heart, things can go wrong for them (p. 35). The book gave the story of Terry, who printed off internet porn at work. The printer stopped working temporarily. Once it started printing, IT was called. They traced the problem to Terry. Terry got fired and his wife later divorced him. (p. 36). Paul was making a phone call to set up some sex, but did not realize his wife was on the other line. Stan was blackmailed by his mistress, while Marc was sued for sexual harassment.
God provides you weapons to deal with the enemy (p. 47). Some weapons include the fear of God, wisdom, and the word of God. The limitation of the weapons is that they can only go in one direction at a time (either facing the enemy or facing those you love. )
Lust is wrong. Lust can produce fruit and it can lead to death. The first stage of sin is lust. (p. 49). Sin is the evidence the seed has grown (p. 49). Sin also can be fertilized with repeat behavior (p. 50).
You have to be willing to become clean. You need the right protection, armor, and a plan to become clean (p. 58 to 59). You also need to be honest and accountable (p. 61). You also need a consequence set-up, if you do fall prey to sexual sin (p. 62).
Sexual immorality does not just affect you, but everyone else around you. Job, family, kids, social life, etc. I did not realize this until years and years later. If I stayed out late, someone would have to wake up to let me in (since I never had my own place). I had to work hard to hide toys and my porn addiction. Hiding the laptop under covers and plugging the ear phones in, for example. I sought out pleasure before relationships. Pleasure also caused me to think lust was love. I been addicted a few times. I wanted to date some of these men, not for their brains and long-term potential, but for their body parts (and what the body parts could do). Sexual immorality definitely distorted relationships. I heard rumors of people not liking me because I was too sexual, but at the same time, the person, who told me about the rumor, wanted to have sex with me. Sex defined how I treated people of the opposite sex. If you wanted to date me, then I would not have sex with you. If you wanted sex, then it was mostly a one-night stand. Had no interest in repeat sex partners, unless they met a few standards.
I loved this book and definitely recommend it to men and women.
November 24, 2015
This a well written book on the topic of getting free of sexual addiction. Do keep in mind that this is NOT a self-help book. One of the primary points is that this is not a problem that can be beaten alone. Breaking the cycles of denial, shame and secrecy are key to getting "Clean". I have read many books on this subject, and participated in a recovery group for several years, so I can't really comment on how this will be received by a man who is currently struggling. Having said that they points he makes are certainly supported by my experiences, and I have not problems recommending this book to anyone looking for help.
July 19, 2016
This book was excellent. Only reason I subtracted one star is because occasionally, I felt that the author delved a little too deep into behavioristic and psychological solutions.
With that being said, however, there's not much I could say to refute those aspects of the book, because while they might be extra-biblical, they are certainly not unbiblical, and many people could benefit from them.
Overall, a much needed book in today's world. I would give it both to people who are counseling people through sexual addiction, as well as people who are currently working through an addiction themselves.
With that being said, however, there's not much I could say to refute those aspects of the book, because while they might be extra-biblical, they are certainly not unbiblical, and many people could benefit from them.
Overall, a much needed book in today's world. I would give it both to people who are counseling people through sexual addiction, as well as people who are currently working through an addiction themselves.
August 10, 2015
I would recommend this to every man in my life. Ultimately it's about the battle against sex outside of marriage in our world today. Whether it be with another person or if it is what the modern world would consider merely lust. This book really talks about the damages all of these things do to society and the women in those mens' lives. It's a fascinating read. Fight the battle to be clean.
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