Complete Surrender - The True Story of a Family's Dark Secret and the Brothers it Tore Apart at Birth

by Dave Sharp, Ian McEwan

Dave Sharp grew up with foster parents with no information about his actual parents. He lived his life happily as a bricklayer and grew up and honest man who loved soccer. In his 60s, he set about the long and arduous process of trying to find out who his real parents were. After much searching he discovered the family who had given him up for adoption and met up with them. He also scheduled to meet with the man he believed to be his half-brother; this man, it turned out, was the noted novelist Ian McEwan, author of Atonement and On Chesil Beach. A shocking revelation concerning a family affair that had long lain hidden was soon unearthed, and Dave learned that Ian was in fact his full brother. This is the amazing and heartwarming story of a sons wish to find his family, and two men gaining the brother that they had always wished for.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

290 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 1, 2008

Reviews

[John Stotesbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a possibly "naïve" memoir (written with the assistance of a professional writer, though not Dave Sharp's brother), this volume is fascinating, not for Sharp's discovery that he is Ian McEwan's long-lost brother, but for its gripping description of working-class life and living conditions in Oxfordshire in the first decade or two after WW2, and then also for its latter half, where Sharp reveals equally gripping insight into the psychology of an extended family that he has had come to terms with in his sixties (it was published in 2008, when Sharp was 66). The light it throws on his brother's writing is interesting, but largely incidental -- its achievement is more impressive for its revelation of (largely) Southern English attitudes in late-imperial and post-imperial times. I only wish that I had read it a decade ago, when the "sensation" of the brothers' story first emerged -- but for the reasons I've listed here.

[Eliza · Rating 3 out of 5]

10/11/09: Dave Sharp is Ian McEwan's long-lost brother, and this is his life story, especially about finding his real family (including Ian) when he was 60 years old. Sharp is a bricklayer, and his story, though perhaps interesting to those obsessed with Ian McEwan, is otherwise not very exciting and not well-written. Lots of speculation about why his parents gave him up and how they felt about it--Sharp didn't find his family until his father had died and his mother had dementia--and interesting commentary on the differences between his life and his brother's. "Complete Surrender" is what the newspaper ad said that his parents placed when trying to find an adoptive home for their one-month old son.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written and heartfelt. The author discovered that his birth parents gave him away when he was just a few weeks old. They placed an advert in the local paper, asking if anyone would like a baby boy and offered complete surrender.
When Dave Sharp was 60 years old he traced his birth family, only to find that he had a full brother and that the brother was the well known author Ian McEwan.

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting story and well told, for the most part. Towards the end it started to feel like it was being written to hit a word count - in spite of having been encouraged by his brother Ian McEwan to tell "his story", there are parts where Dave Sharp speculates on the motives for his birth parents' actions long after he had left their lives and was living with his adoptive parents.

[Alison Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Surprisingly enjoyable, particularly the details about life in Britain in the 50s and 60s. I found his family history details incredibly confusing & didn't enjoy this aspect; book would have benefitted by having a diagrammatic Family Tree.

[Joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, partly because I spent the happiest years of my life in the village next to Binfield Heath and partly because the story resonates with me in a very personal way. Having said that, I thought the story was very well told and the level of emotion was spot on.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

just about to start this been wanting to read it for a while

[Fiona (Titch) · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was ok to start off with, but I just couldn't get into the book.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im not sure why I 'really like it'. I suspect part the honesty of what it is like to find a family after so long and consideration of the nature/ nurture. A considered, thoughtful piece of prose.

[Jen Wake · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gripping true story

[Savina King · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing true life story of famous author's brother who was advertised in a paper and given away at a month old. Incredible what happened in the war years.