Confessions of a Bad Beekeeper: What Not to Do When Keeping Bees

by Bill Turnbull

The popular host of BBC Breakfast recounts his many misadventures as a backyard beekeeper—“A truly wonderful read” (Diana Sammataro, PhD, coauthor of The Beekeeper’s Handbook).Bill Turnbull had no intention of becoming a beekeeper. But when he saw an ad for beekeeping classes—after a swarm of bees landed in his suburban backyard—it seemed to be a sign. Despite being stung on the head—twice—at his first hands-on beekeeping class, Turnbull found himself falling in love with the fascinating, infuriating honeybee.As a new beekeeper, Turnbull misplaced essential equipment, got stung more times—and in more places—than he cares to remember, and once even lost some bees up a chimney. But he kept at it, with a ready sense of humor and Zen-like acceptance of every mishap. And somehow, along the way, he learned a great deal about himself and the world around him.Confessions of a Bad Beekeeper chronicles Turnbull’s often hilarious and occasionally triumphant adventures in the curious world of backyard beekeeping. Along the way, he offers plenty of hard-won apiarian wisdom and highlights both the threat to our bee population and what we can do to help these vital little creatures do their wonderful work.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Science

257 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 2011

Reviews

[Howard McEwen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a beekeeper and I'm happy when anyone tries to make beekeeping more popular. Mr. Turnbull does a great job of telling a story and his writing is sharp, crisp and humorous (the hardest kind of writing).

As an American however, the book peters out about 2/3rds of the way through when the topic of beekeeping is pushed to the side. He writes about running a marathon in his beekeeping suit (again, admirable) and then his turn on a dancing show and another turn on a quiz show. The bees are always buzzing about the narrative but usually not too close. The problems for this American however is that I have no idea who many of the celebrities or what shows he writes about are. The American edition could have easily chopped off the last 20% or so of the book.

Finally, the entire bad beekeeper point of view would scare off anyone thinking of beekeeping. Don't be scared. It's not nearly as hard or bad and doesn't have to be nearly as expensive as he makes it out to be. I've spent more than I should on my beekeeping but it's maybe been $300 tops over a year (including bees).

[Meagan Houle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful! I'm terrified of bees, but have a deep respect for and fascination with them, and this was the perfect book to let me get that up-close look at them without the terror bit. The style is lighthearted and always on the edge of the next joke, so it's great for those times when you want to learn something without having to work overly hard for it. There are a few jarring notes, like the bizarrely frequent and sexist references to domineering women and their shrewish habit of ruining a man's fun, but they weren't enough to dampen my enjoyment. I heartily recommend "Confessions of a Bad Bee Keper" to anyone wishing to know more about bees, and/or have a good, uncomplicated laugh.

[Catherine Hirsch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable read - the bad beekeeper learns by doing. Possibly will save me from future mistakes, - or maybe not :)

[Kate Cunningham Gross · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the humorous writing. This is a great way to dip your toes into the idea of bees without getting a biology PhD. Short, sweet, and humorous.

[Liza C · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining book about one man's foibles when attempting to take care of bees. There's not really anything for an aspiring beekeeper to learn (other than, Expect Things To Go Horribly Wrong Sometimes) but it does make one (such as I) a little less anxious about the attempt. My own bees will arrive in less than a month, and I will don my beekeeper suit for the first time and attempt to dump them into their brand-new homes. I hope I will not kill the queen. I hope they like me and live without disease. And that, I gather, is just about the most a beekeeper can hope for.

[Nade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delightful and full of warmth and wit. Turnbull puts a humorous spin on his adventures and misadventures as a beekeeper. His joy and awe thread through each chapter. Thoroughly enjoyed this book!

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humorous and a fun read. I have kept bees and really enjoyed reading about his trials and successes. He does a good job explaining about beekeeping. It would be fun to read even if you don't currently and never intend to keep bees. He is a good storyteller and his story is about more than just beekeeping.

[Kari Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book cracked me up. As a beekeeper for only a year , I could completely relate to Bills mistakes and learning curve. I laughed out loud and I have suggested that all my friends who keep bees, read it too.

[Celeste · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book. It really captures the struggles and triumphs of the hobbiest beekeeper.

[MARY · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amusing and informative

[Betty Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Humorous and informative; a nice combination. This should appeal to aspiring beekeepers as well as veterans.

[Alyssa Harding · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious! I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is thinking of keeping bees. That's why it was recommended to me

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

loved it!

[DeAnna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining way to learn something about bees and beekeeping. I enjoyed his humor and stories.

[Ryan Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I cringed, I laughed, I learned, and in the end I fell in love with Bill Turnbull's hapless (and sometimes seemingly helpless) apiary skills and colorful metaphors. Need to know the best way to accidentally squish your friend's best producing queen? Bill's got ya covered. Curious what it feels like to be stung in the ear, eyelid, top of the head, and pretty much everywhere else? It's in there. Want to know how to NOT clean your honey extractor? (I'll give you a hint, it involves not leaving it unattended to in the cellar for two years). Yeah...he's done that too. This book is one part memoir, one part apiculture guide, and one part sage wisdom. For anyone intending to keep bees this is a must have on your bookshelf. For anyone, like myself, researching bees and Colony Collapse Disorder, this is a welcome distraction. Best of luck to you Mr. Turnbull. And Godspeed to your bees.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beekeeping has long piqued my interest. Not enough to take a class or read an instruction manual, just enough to google it every once in a while and to grab this book off the new bookshelf at the library. I am so glad I did! Turnbull entered beekeeping pretty much the way I would - underprepared. He humorously recounts his adventures and misadventures as he learns what it takes to be a successful beekeeper.

Labeling himself a Bad Beekeeper, Turnbull tells both what he has done, and what he should have done along the way. He gives a brief history of beekeeping, discusses modern problems bees and beekeepers face, and shares his incredible joy in spending time tending his hives.

I'm not ready to take up beekeeping yet (it's against my town ordinances anyway), but Turnbull has fed my desire to do so.

[Arminzerella · Rating 3 out of 5]

In addition to being a bad beekeeper, Bill Turnbull has been a journalist, and currently is a television personality who cohosts BBC Breakfast. Poor planning, snap decision-making, and bad luck are some of the reasons Turnbull has been on the receiving end of a stinging commentary from his bees (not to mention his wife). He’s been known to let honey crystalize in his extractor (still sitting as a conversation piece in the dining room), he’s tracked honey through the house, and he’s accidentally smooshed a queen or two. But his heart is in the right place, and you can tell that he loves his bees and the feeling of wonder and amazement they bring him. Beekeepers of all stripes (beginning and seasoned) will enjoy this – groaning at each of Bill’s more questionable decisions. Funny and informative.

[Randy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great title; not so good a book—that is, if you are a bad beekeeper looking for information. Mr. Turnbull is a British newsman and celebrity, his claim to fame as a participant on the English version of Dancing With the Stars. There is some stuff about bees but, unfortunately, Mr. Turnbull seems to think most every little thing he's done is interesting, more interesting than sticking to the subject of bad beekeeping. I tried to stay with it to the end but just couldn't make it to the finish line, a metaphor I use in honor of Mr. Turnbull who is a marathoner and has a long diversion about running a marathon in a bee suit. Just because he wore a bee suit doesn't warrant inclusion. There are lots of diversions. Not enough about bees. But—really good title.

[Alisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Might have been a better read if I didn't already have bees or if I had only just started keeping them. Lots of background, presented in a chatty way, about hive bodies, swarms, and the process of extracting honey. Bill Turnbill is clearly not a "Bad Beekeeper" though he styles himself as one. Would have loved more bee stories and fewer stories about Bill himself as he runs marathons (in a bee suit) and compete on Britain's version of Dancing With the Stars (which has nothing to do with bees at all).

[Kristi · Rating 4 out of 5]

My friend Patricia has just become a beekeeper. I ran across this book and thought that it would be something that she would enjoy. Bill Turnbull is a TV personality in Britain. He has been on their version of Dancing with the Stars. I found his bad beekeeping to be quite humorous and informative.

[Mary Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

BBC television host Bill Turnbull calls himself Bad Beekeeper, but he deserves a Funny Storyteller title. His stories of questionable decision making mix with lovely description of beekeeping in the English villages . His self-depricating humor and stories of disaster were funny to a apiarists. They may not be as enjoyable to non-beekeepers.

[Carthago Delenda Est · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm interested in beekeeping so I was excited to pick this one up. Unfortunately, the author devotes most of the book to talking about himself and only tangentially relates it to beekeeping. I would not recommend this for anyone who was interested in learning about beekeeping. I would recommend this book to someone who is interested in reading Bill Turnbull talk about Bill Turnbull.

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would very much like to be a beekeeper one of these days. This book caught my attention at a bookstore, found it's way onto my Christmas list and thus into my hands. I enjoyed the book very much. The author reminded me very much of Bill Bryson, although frankly not quite as good. Sorry Mr Turnbull if you're reading this! Still an enjoyable book.

[Tammie Painter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Starts out entertaining, but gets a bit old by the end when the author starts delving into his celebrity dancing show experience. I'd say 4 stars for the first 2/3 of the book, but 2 stars for the final third.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amusing book - Lighthearted look at the inner working of the hobby world of beekeeping. Part autobiography, part comedy, part serious Bee Business. Fast read.

[Lanette · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very quick read and made me feel better about my upcoming plunge into the world of beekeeping. If HE can do it, I can too!

[Bev · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book entertaining and interesting-I had no idea what was involved with bee keeping! Definitely not a "how to" book.

[Sonia Hubly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this very light but also educational. Funny!

[Zea · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well that was a breathy triumph of bumbling English mediocrity. But then I suppose it was never going to be anything else

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Totally entertaining light read.