Textual Relations

Wildwood Society #0.5

by Roxie Noir

Sadie Bell is polite, modest, and well-behaved. She sends thank-you cards promptly and teaches middle school math, two things that might make her eligible for sainthood. Sadie knows better than to send nudes, ever , and she's certainly not the kind of girl who'd have a secret fling with an anonymous stranger online--no matter how hot it might be.

Which makes all the dirty texting and super x-rated video chats with Max--not his real name--extra-scandalous.

James Farrow is a perfect gentleman. He helps children and elders cross the street, and he brings his neighbor's groceries in from the car. He teaches middle school English, loves a good sweater vest, and has a huge crush on the cute new math teacher.

He's not the kind of guy who'd ever have a secret fling with an anonymous stranger online--which makes the nights he spends telling Lola (not her real name) all the filthy things he wants to do with her really out of character.

But it's not like they'll ever meet in person. Right?

Textual Relations is a very short story--about fifty pages--that's also very, very steamy. If you like dirty talk via text message and epistolary spice, this book is for you. It's loosely related to the Wildwood Society series but is a complete standalone.

Genres: Romance, Novella, Contemporary, Contemporary Romance, Workplace Romance, Workplace, Short Stories

60 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 12, 2023

About the author

Roxie is a romance author by day, and also a romance author by night. She lives in Los Angeles with one husband, two cats, far too many books, and a truly alarming pile of used notebooks that she refuses to throw away.

She's the author of the Loveless Brothers series, the upcoming Wildwood Society series, and a bunch of other books that are also delightful.

If you need updates or free stories, you can sign up for her newsletter: http://roxienoir.com/newsletter

Reviews

[RLbooks (in and out) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Textual Relations was steamy, funny, and sweetly adorable! James/Max (H) and Sadie/Lola (h) are online friends who sext and video call each other for spicy times but never show their faces or do audio because each is protecting their privacy. They have great chemistry online (and the story of how they “met” and got to this point was also cute). Then Sadie gets a substitute teaching job at the school James works at and each is attracted to the other but is conflicted about that attraction because of the sort of relationship they have with their online friend…which they don’t know is the person they work with. Written in first person, dual POV. No ow/om drama and neither are virgins (neither has been with anyone else since talking to the other).

The story is fast burn with a couple of scenes of their online sessions (toys and dirty talk included). I wondered if they’d feel like a true couple when I started and I do think that the book accomplishes that even with the online aspect and the shortness of the book. I liked that there were non-sexual texting moments between them and cute moments of them working together before they knew. The moment they realize who the other is was interesting and then how they discussed it. The ending is HFN on their way to their first date and while I always want more, I liked that it was just a cute and quick read. I personally think the premise works really well as a shorter story and I appreciated that the book doesn’t end with more spice for once, though a teensy epilogue would have been icing on the cake. Book 2 of the overall series has Sadie’s older brother as the H so fingers crossed we get a glimpse of this couple in that book (which is one I’m incredibly excited for).

[Dab · Rating 4 out of 5]

You’ve got mail. But the kind of mail you’ve got!! 😈

[youssra · Rating 4 out of 5]

𖥔 ࣪ ˖🍓Pre-read ᯓᡣ𐭩

Part 3 of reading my pookie Buket her recs💋😋

[girlwithhearteyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars

A fun and steamy novella about two people who are sexting, but anonymously, because in real life they are ‘the good girl’ and ‘the gentleman’. Of course they end up meeting…

I was really impressed by this 60 page novella. The spice/sexting was on point, the banter and chemistry was great, and the characters even had some nuance to them! What a great read.

[Lyssa Fournier · Rating 1 out of 5]

This felt like weird porno into reading format

[BelleLovesRomance · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️ 3/5 🌶 3/5

Textual Relations by Roxie Noir is short, scandalous, and surprisingly sweet. 🥰

Sadie and James—aka “Lola” and “Max”—are two buttoned-up middle school teachers who’d never do something as reckless as sending anonymous nudes or having wild video sex with a stranger… except, that’s exactly what they’re doing. 👀 The twist? They’re much closer than they think. 😙

This spicy lil epistolary romp is all about the dirty talk, mutual pining, and the hot tension of not knowing who you’re actually sexting. If you’re into the classic “oops, it’s you??” trope but with full-steam-ahead filth, this’ll scratch that itch in like... less than one hundred pages. 💬😳

Quick, fun, and dirty. Just don’t read this one in public... or do. 😏

-
Quotes:

I don’t even know what makes this so good. Maybe she’s right and I am a sadistic sex monster, but there’s something about Lola swearing at me and cursing my name but still not touching her clit because I said not to that makes me feel fucking feral. I feel like a meteor could hit my front yard right now and I wouldn't notice.
-
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Five minutes. I could practically be steering this car with my dick.
-
“I’d make you come first,” I tell her. “God, you'd look so good. Spread out in front of me, taking my cock. Clit swollen and slippery between my fingers.”
-
“The school board is, like, entirely Baptist ministers over sixty-five. They’d flip their shit,” he says, and unexpectedly, I laugh.
-
“But dinner first,” I say.
“Dinner first, because I want that even more,” he says.
-

RC and MCs:
💬 MF
💬 James Farrow aka Max and Sadie Bell aka Lola
💬 James: Dimples, light brown hair, hazel eyes, black framed glasses
💬 Sadie: Dark hair, green-gray eyes

Genre, tropes, and all things my safety fam needs to know:
💬 MF contemporary romance
💬 Middle school math teacher x middle school English teacher
💬 Online/virtual romance
💬 Fake anonymity/secret identities
💬 Workplace connection
💬 Oops, it’s you??
💬 Pet names: -
💬 Angst: Low
💬 Vibes: Fun, cute, sweet, steamy, lighthearted
💬 OW/OM drama: Kinda (with each other fake identities)
💬 Cheating/sharing: Kinda (with each other fake identities)
💬 Third act breakup: Yes
💬 Ending: HFN
💬 Epilogue: No
💬 Series structure: Standalone

Spice and kinks:
Sexting, video chat sex, sex toys (vibrating dildos), mutual jerk-off sessions, roadside car jerk-off session, phone sex.

[Lina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little romance short story as a break from all the other books I’m currently reading!

This is my second time reading from this author and while I found the intimate scenes in this one a bit much, I still really liked the characters she was able to create in such a short story! Both characters had personal lives, family struggles, careers and interests all packed within 50 pages. Many romance books don’t even cover that in a 300+ pages book! Also they met on a boardgame dork website and the game “dominion” is name dropped. Like that’s iconic and so specific. Love it.

I could 100% read a full length novel about these two cause I really enjoyed the banter and the way the relationship unfolded. The reveal was also well done!

It’s nice to find romance authors that work for me, especially since I find it to be a genre that is very subjective.

3.75 ⭐️

[Sarandah chrysalis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hottt as hell and likable characters.

Also loved the brief reference to a damaging conservative purity culture upbringing and family. This is common/pervasive enough that I’m a little surprised we don’t see it more in contemporary romance

[Allie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Instead of finishing The Age of Walls for my buddy read tomorrow, I read this smutty short story with sexy literary banter. I regret nothing!!!

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nearly perfect cyber-sex book for the modern romantic. They were just missing a robe and a wizard hat.

[Marcia Arguelles · Rating 4 out of 5]

So fun! Loved every bit!

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5

[Kate McMurry · Rating 3 out of 5]

X-rated homage to You've Got Mail

Two people have been sexting each other for many months before they realize they know each other in the real world.

If you like a sexy read, with a plus-size heroine, you might enjoy this story.

[meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hot and Funny

I really enjoyed this one. The spice really hit and honestly so did the humor. I’m so intrigued by the full length now.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was cute, but I typically avoid novellas because I hate feeling like something is missing! This one didn't leave much out and was a fun, quick read!

[ari · Rating 3 out of 5]

a novella that is very short and steamier than i expected with some funny moments at times is what makes for a good novella.

[amelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 3.75
But… but… what happened on the date ?? Honestly this was going so good until that ABRUBT cut off. I get it, it’s a novella, but why didn’t we at least get an ending?? I’m sad!!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fully wish this were longer

[Danique ♒ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5/5 ⭐

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Steamy short story. You know what's coming but still get a good giggle and secondhand embarrassment.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spicy short story ☺️🌶️

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

quick read. had some potential, but as soon as james and sadie realize that they had been sexting one another as max and lola, the rest of the book seemed a bit rushed.

they threw in a family thanksgiving bit, which felt completely unnecessary. a filler, that could have been replaced with contents that focus on sadie and james (as it is an extremely quick read). however, in this filler portion, they glanced over her christian parents, her sister's queerness, and her brother comforting her. all of which didn't add to the storyline - as it wasn't ever brought up later, and it was already said that she had a huge family, and was brought up in a strict christian household. the only way i see emphasizing her family's devotion to God (in the filler) would add value, is if later on (possibly in a sequel) they come to find out about how sadie and james had really met, and this could cause an uproar etc. in which her brother gideon could be speaking up for her, trying to mediate, and hannah then comes out to her family as an act of solidarity - but alas, this is unfortunately not the case :(

some may debate that this filler was in fact needed, as this is when she admits to liking james/max to her brother gideon. but we've already known that.

I also wish we got to see (read) a bit of the date! - even though this is called textual relations, i think the parts of them at the school in person were the best parts. so i would have loved to see how it panned out from taking a james and sadie relationship and merging it with the one they had as max and lola.

[Ali's In Literature · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, sweet, and very spicy!

REVIEW 
Lola and Max* (*not their real names) have been engaging in anonymous, online mutual x-rated video chats for months, but feelings are starting to blur the lines. So when Lola meets James, and Max meets Sadie, they're torn between what's real and what's online only.
I recently ordered the Wildwood series but haven't had a chance to start yet, so I thought I'd give this a quick read. I loved both characters immediately. Of course, the intimacy was incendiary, but it was the hilarious banter (often mid-shenanigans) that I particularly loved. I really felt for Sadie because of her parents, but I loved Gideon, her brother. As for the final chapter? It was so stinking adorable.
This was short, sweet, and very spicy, and I look forward to reading the rest of this series!

Overall Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Heat Rating: 🔥🔥🔥.5
Emotional Rating: 💓😂🥰😍😂🔥😂🥰😂😉💓🥰😍💓😂😉😂😍😂😍🔥💓😂🥰😉💓😂👏🏻😬😒💓🥰

[Fran · Rating 5 out of 5]

The entire premise of this story revolves around a virtual sexual relationship, and although I wouldn't want every romance I read to be as steamy as this, for a quick read it was fun. Not a lot of writers could pull this off, but Roxie Noir does it so well. It's written with youthful wryness and jocularity. The MCs Lola and Max were so very likable and you couldn't help but root for them. The plot of course was predictable, but that's not the point—it's finding out HOW they get to their HEA. There's potential for full blown disaster and you just hope it doesn't come to that.

This was originally a short story in an anthology to benefit Unicef. I was impressed that in a 60 page ebook the author was able to develop and show growth in her characters and evolve their relationship so well. That truly is a skill not every author has. I enjoyed Ms. Noir's writing style so much that I will be reading more of her works and already have Enemies With Benefits in my TBR list.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I look away because the new long-term substitute math teacher is really fucking hot in a nerdy-girl-next-door-who-probably-reads-tentacle-smut kind of way, and that does it for me. She’s got longish dark hair that she usually wears up, green-gray eyes the color of moss, and lips that are always smiling or laughing. There’s something mischievous and pixie-like about her, like she’s always about to say she’s tricked me and now I owe her my firstborn or something."

Roxie Noir always seems to hit that sweet spot between smut and a real connection between her characters. Texual Relations is no different and even more impressive as a novella. Looking forward to the rest of the series.

[Alexa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is going to be difficult because I *knew* it was a short story, but I think it could have been a little longer. Such as seeing the characters interact on their date and the first time they are physically rather than virtually intimate and what is going through their heads. It was a little different in that it was immediately made known to either party that they knew who the other was rather than keeping quiet for a period of time. I didn't give a toss about reading about thanksgiving; it added very little to the story, just more background about the FMC. Where was MMC's Thanksgiving chapter then? If made no sense. Sweet story, needs a tweak.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars
A very fast read that I fought sleep to finish. I liked the story. The mystery of being explicit and bold with a stranger, but also becoming friends with them. I also liked the conflict of the main characters meeting IRL and realizing their attraction, but also feeling like they were betraying their alter ego's relationship.

For a short story, the characters were pretty fleshed out. The relations were open, but tethered to the online space. I found that unique and I enjoyed the idea of feeling safe enough with someone to be that way, but also setting boundaries to protect themselves.

[Ria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was both filthy (in a good way) and wholesomely adorable. You get thrown into the sexy deep end, as we learn more about the anonymous online relationship, but soon we learn about the charming meet cute (hooray for nerds finding love), we witness the charming banter and then things go full You've Got Mail and I loved it. After Silas's book I was a bit ambivalent about the Wildwood Society but now I am super excited about Gideon's book and can't wait to catch glimpses of Sadie and James again.

[Natacha Silva · Rating 2 out of 5]

Foi uma leitura curta e engraçada. Claro que eu já presumia que as coisas irão terminar assim, mas o sentido deste livro acho que não é ser surpreendente nem nada. É apenas sobre duas pessoas, que se conhecem online e mantém uma amizade sexual entre eles sem nunca revelarem nomes ou as suas caras, e vermos como isso influencia a sua vida no dia a dia. E depois, claro, o que acontece quando vês a pessoa finalmente pessoalmente.
Foi giro, mas não incrível, e não consigo dar mais do que 2,5 estrelas.

[Bookish Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25⭐️
🌶🌶🌶
Vibes - Good Time, LOL

No faces, no voices, just deliciously filthy phone sex.
Lola (fake name) and Max (fake name) have been having anonymous phone sex for a while, but when they start crushing on someone IRL what are they to do? I loved the chemistry between Sadie/Lola and James/Max both online and in person. For such a short book we get back story of how they met, we get to know who they are (including her religious trauma), and sex toys and dirty talk.

Tropes
-Workplace