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Life with an Autistic Son
When my son was around the age of two it became apparent there was something wrong. He did not crave my company, cling to and cuddle me endlessly. He showed no need to bond with me, his father, and we did not. He exhausted me, he frustrated me and he scared me. I came to dread coming home from work sometimes, or those moments when it was my turn to wrestle him into bed and begin the long struggle to settle him. I said things that will forever haunt me, like “What is wrong with that child?” and “Is he always going to be this annoying?”
What I didn't know then was that he was autistic.
When that realisation came, so did the beginning of my mission to understand my son, and to understand autism. This book chronicles that search for understanding and answers. It documents one parent’s attempts to come to terms with, and accept, his child. It is raw and real, sometimes confused and frightened but also, I’d like to think, written with warmth and love and an ability to smile through difficult times.
This book is for anyone starting out on a pathway with their child that they did not expect. It’s also for people who, like me, are a little further down that road but still learning, still asking questions and still getting it wrong sometimes. You are not alone.
What I didn't know then was that he was autistic.
When that realisation came, so did the beginning of my mission to understand my son, and to understand autism. This book chronicles that search for understanding and answers. It documents one parent’s attempts to come to terms with, and accept, his child. It is raw and real, sometimes confused and frightened but also, I’d like to think, written with warmth and love and an ability to smile through difficult times.
This book is for anyone starting out on a pathway with their child that they did not expect. It’s also for people who, like me, are a little further down that road but still learning, still asking questions and still getting it wrong sometimes. You are not alone.
387 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 29, 2013
51 people are currently reading
114 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
November 6, 2015
I stayed up way too late reading this. I was up until 3am and it is now 6:30 am and I am leaving for work in am hour.
I wish this book was required reading for parents, staff, and honestly people in general. It gives a glimpse of what just a small portion of living with someone and caring for someone with not only autism, but other delelopemental disabilities can be like. A lot of behaviors and characteristics of autism are not unique to only that singular diagnosis. Not all individuals will be like the author's son "B."
The author who wrote this has chosen to keep his and the people included in this book anonymous. I understand why he would do this.
Recommendation:
Read this. It is free on Amazon. A lot of understanding and compassion can gained. This may be a great book for parents just beginning their adventure with a child with needs such as autism. The main reason I like this is that it is told first hand and not full of terms that will overwhelm or confuse. This could help others realize that they are not alone in the struggles they are facing.
I wish this book was required reading for parents, staff, and honestly people in general. It gives a glimpse of what just a small portion of living with someone and caring for someone with not only autism, but other delelopemental disabilities can be like. A lot of behaviors and characteristics of autism are not unique to only that singular diagnosis. Not all individuals will be like the author's son "B."
The author who wrote this has chosen to keep his and the people included in this book anonymous. I understand why he would do this.
Recommendation:
Read this. It is free on Amazon. A lot of understanding and compassion can gained. This may be a great book for parents just beginning their adventure with a child with needs such as autism. The main reason I like this is that it is told first hand and not full of terms that will overwhelm or confuse. This could help others realize that they are not alone in the struggles they are facing.
July 8, 2014
A bold title, on a difficult subject about a pervasive and often crippling condition. The author affords himself and his subjects the anonymity required to allow us in on the details without the threat of interference. And I can understand it, such publicity can have an impact. The book is, I believe, a series of blog posts by the author documenting his personal experiences, thoughts and feelings on raising his son 'B', who is on the autistic spectrum. Clearly writing for an audience, and anonymity aside, he still displays some reservations, as would I for a few reasons, but the important details are there. I hasten to add what those important details are:
Those picking up a book like this are not, I presume, looking for a disposable afternoon jaunt into the mind of a person struggling with disability, they are reading it because they are either living or working with Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD's). The professionals will no doubt want to augment their objectivity with some parental insight into daily-living with the condition, and perhaps get feedback on their own therapeutic areas, and everyone else, that is parents and people with an ASD, will be looking for company, recognition, understanding, advice, ideas on what they haven't tried, thoughts on what they have tried, perhaps a shortcut through those critical early years. Books like these are at least as important as theoretical, practical, and scientific books on the subject. Why? One reason is that ASD is not currently a condition we all know the cause of, the answers to, the 'cures' for, there are many styles, types, brands of therapy, medication, diets, devices and promises of improvement, and even release, from this pervasive condition. Preferences from professionals and parents alike; most of which, I dare to add, have not the necessary evidence to warrant the time, money and mental and emotional effort in adopting, much less the safety concerns over the more dangerous attempts in the likes of chelation therapy and HBOT. And that's a point, because the details are diffuse, the costs high, the information vast, the science lacking and the time short, and the purpose and result too important, the search continues. But....
....as I touched on above, the main reason, I believe, parents would be reading this book and others like it, is recognition. There's strength to be gained in knowing this guy feels the same guilt, anger, happiness & sadness, desperation, humour, and frustration that I do under such conditions. It is comforting, it is encouraging, cathartic even, the realization that someone else shares those same quirks that I previously thought were peculiarly my own, and they serve to help cope and catalyze the more important business of making better choices, being more patient, more regulated and appropriate in our responses, being better parents, and preparing our kids.
Good job, B's Dad, You're alright!
Those picking up a book like this are not, I presume, looking for a disposable afternoon jaunt into the mind of a person struggling with disability, they are reading it because they are either living or working with Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD's). The professionals will no doubt want to augment their objectivity with some parental insight into daily-living with the condition, and perhaps get feedback on their own therapeutic areas, and everyone else, that is parents and people with an ASD, will be looking for company, recognition, understanding, advice, ideas on what they haven't tried, thoughts on what they have tried, perhaps a shortcut through those critical early years. Books like these are at least as important as theoretical, practical, and scientific books on the subject. Why? One reason is that ASD is not currently a condition we all know the cause of, the answers to, the 'cures' for, there are many styles, types, brands of therapy, medication, diets, devices and promises of improvement, and even release, from this pervasive condition. Preferences from professionals and parents alike; most of which, I dare to add, have not the necessary evidence to warrant the time, money and mental and emotional effort in adopting, much less the safety concerns over the more dangerous attempts in the likes of chelation therapy and HBOT. And that's a point, because the details are diffuse, the costs high, the information vast, the science lacking and the time short, and the purpose and result too important, the search continues. But....
....as I touched on above, the main reason, I believe, parents would be reading this book and others like it, is recognition. There's strength to be gained in knowing this guy feels the same guilt, anger, happiness & sadness, desperation, humour, and frustration that I do under such conditions. It is comforting, it is encouraging, cathartic even, the realization that someone else shares those same quirks that I previously thought were peculiarly my own, and they serve to help cope and catalyze the more important business of making better choices, being more patient, more regulated and appropriate in our responses, being better parents, and preparing our kids.
Good job, B's Dad, You're alright!
November 8, 2015
Review - Life With An Autistic Son - 5 out of 5 stars There is a balance between the time we spend living, and the time we spend learning. In the forever busy lives we lead it is tempting to avoid learning the things we think we will never encounter. Autism is probably on that list of things to learn about, only when it becomes necessary.It is estimated (WARNING - These are the conservative figures) that one in every 88 children in the US has autism. In the UK the figure I have found is 700,000 which, is roughly one in 99, but in reality the ratio seems to be considerably higher. (I've read all sorts of figures) As well as the children, you're likely to come up against the parents. (Some sources - https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topi... - http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/speced... )The truth is that autism is something that we are almost certain to encounter. Society as a whole, is only now starting to get to grips with autism and the surrounding issues. There are ground breaking people like Rising Tide in Florida, that started a business to fit the positive traits of autistic people, in to a job they excel at. Society is starting to think differently; but it will clearly be a long haul. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VULKz... nothing can prepare you for meeting and working with someone who is autistic, this book is a beautiful starting point. B's dad uses his typically British sense of dark humour to ensure that the read isn't too heavy, but at times he really does open his heart up and you see the pain, hardship, shattered dreams, strain and outright heartbreak that bringing up B has had on the family. (and he is holding back.) But he also highlights the pure joy that B brings and reflects on how B's differences have made him re-think himself and his own relationships in the world at large.
'Be patient, say the books. Be consistent, realistic and controlled. And I am. Most of the time. But I’m also tired and sad, worried and drained. I don’t want to feel this resentment towards my son. I don’t want to wake up feeling like this.'
He began this journey as an anonymous blog; but those things can be difficult to read if you weren't in there from the start. Bringing this out as a book bridges that gap and makes the whole thing more accessible. There are a few grammatical errors in here and because he is an English teacher, I'm tempted to say B- for editing; but an A+++++ for effort. (I think he'd get the funny side.) Five stars. Excellent read; highly recommended. If ever people leaving school to enter the big world of work, were given a pile of books on their way out the door; for my money, this would be among them.Among the more beautiful passages...
'A very sweet moment occurred recently when B was playing a game called ‘Stickman’ on his brother’s Kindle. The game invited him to ‘Tell his friends’ he was playing, and in return two bonus levels would be unlocked. Of course, by ‘tell your friends’ it meant tell your followers and friends on Twitter and Facebook (B may be very IT savvy but he does not yet have a Twitter or Facebook account). B did not understand this social networking feature, so instead he came to me, sat on my knee, and (at length) began to describe the game he was playing. When he was done, he said, “Now I can have two bonus levels”.'
'Be patient, say the books. Be consistent, realistic and controlled. And I am. Most of the time. But I’m also tired and sad, worried and drained. I don’t want to feel this resentment towards my son. I don’t want to wake up feeling like this.'
He began this journey as an anonymous blog; but those things can be difficult to read if you weren't in there from the start. Bringing this out as a book bridges that gap and makes the whole thing more accessible. There are a few grammatical errors in here and because he is an English teacher, I'm tempted to say B- for editing; but an A+++++ for effort. (I think he'd get the funny side.) Five stars. Excellent read; highly recommended. If ever people leaving school to enter the big world of work, were given a pile of books on their way out the door; for my money, this would be among them.Among the more beautiful passages...
'A very sweet moment occurred recently when B was playing a game called ‘Stickman’ on his brother’s Kindle. The game invited him to ‘Tell his friends’ he was playing, and in return two bonus levels would be unlocked. Of course, by ‘tell your friends’ it meant tell your followers and friends on Twitter and Facebook (B may be very IT savvy but he does not yet have a Twitter or Facebook account). B did not understand this social networking feature, so instead he came to me, sat on my knee, and (at length) began to describe the game he was playing. When he was done, he said, “Now I can have two bonus levels”.'
April 4, 2015
The things that make this book great also happen to be the same things that are its biggest faults, hence the three star rating. At times I loved this, at other times it was hard to get through.
Firstly, this title was the first I was drawn to after learning my two year old son has autism. I wanted to learn more about the subject, but I also happen to know quite a bit about autism already being a behaviorist working with adults with developmental disabilities for the past ten years. When I saw this was from a father's perspective, it felt like exactly what I was looking for at the moment.
In that regard, being a first blush, no holds barred, uncensored account of the father's experiences and feelings, it's great. So many of the feelings were similar, and the author's son just so happens to come across in personality a lot like my own son. It was a pleasure to get an emotional peek inside this man's life, and his son seems absolutely hilarious and adorable (but still challenging of course).
However, after awhile it became apparent that this was not a structured work of writing, but rather the author had taken various blog posts of his and loosely compiled them here in the form of a book. This wasn't advertised as such at all and it was kind of a turn off when I figured it out. That wouldn't be so bad in itself however, if it wasn't for the quality of the writing itself. Numerous typos and grammatical errors (and the author apparently teaches English too) along with a choppy style make it difficult to push through at times. Mostly it felt like the author took a selection of his various posts and stuck them together without any editing or much planning. The ending was particularly abrupt and probably coincided with not having any more posts to include.
So overall, I highly enjoyed the "rawness" of this book, but that apparent lack of professionalism also detracts from the work as a whole. Still, I fully relate to this father and a lot of the stories and experiences were highly entertaining and informative. A good start for fathers of autistic children just getting their feet wet.
Firstly, this title was the first I was drawn to after learning my two year old son has autism. I wanted to learn more about the subject, but I also happen to know quite a bit about autism already being a behaviorist working with adults with developmental disabilities for the past ten years. When I saw this was from a father's perspective, it felt like exactly what I was looking for at the moment.
In that regard, being a first blush, no holds barred, uncensored account of the father's experiences and feelings, it's great. So many of the feelings were similar, and the author's son just so happens to come across in personality a lot like my own son. It was a pleasure to get an emotional peek inside this man's life, and his son seems absolutely hilarious and adorable (but still challenging of course).
However, after awhile it became apparent that this was not a structured work of writing, but rather the author had taken various blog posts of his and loosely compiled them here in the form of a book. This wasn't advertised as such at all and it was kind of a turn off when I figured it out. That wouldn't be so bad in itself however, if it wasn't for the quality of the writing itself. Numerous typos and grammatical errors (and the author apparently teaches English too) along with a choppy style make it difficult to push through at times. Mostly it felt like the author took a selection of his various posts and stuck them together without any editing or much planning. The ending was particularly abrupt and probably coincided with not having any more posts to include.
So overall, I highly enjoyed the "rawness" of this book, but that apparent lack of professionalism also detracts from the work as a whole. Still, I fully relate to this father and a lot of the stories and experiences were highly entertaining and informative. A good start for fathers of autistic children just getting their feet wet.
October 13, 2015
Made me laugh, made me cry...gave me HOPE
I amn a Mother to a newly diagnosed ASD son. He us my soon before being an Asoerkid. In this book I have found hope. Reading this Dad struggle and his live for his Son made me think of mine. many times I stopped and said I could have read his book as our stories are so similar. My son is my life and aso is his normal sister and I tghink you cannot understand how Autism will affect and change your life until you experience it. I wish little B all the success in life and one dqy he will understand how lucky he is
I amn a Mother to a newly diagnosed ASD son. He us my soon before being an Asoerkid. In this book I have found hope. Reading this Dad struggle and his live for his Son made me think of mine. many times I stopped and said I could have read his book as our stories are so similar. My son is my life and aso is his normal sister and I tghink you cannot understand how Autism will affect and change your life until you experience it. I wish little B all the success in life and one dqy he will understand how lucky he is
May 3, 2015
In my job I often work with children on the Autistic Spectrum so I was very interested to read about it from a parents perspective. What shines through this book is the father's total love for his son. It is an uplifting read on the whole, however there are moments where you wonder how they cope. I am totally in awe of this family and the way they are altering the way they think and act to help B and provide a loving home for both their boys..
June 16, 2017
Surprisingly nice
It was good to be written in pieces. I don't normally read only one book at a time so it was easier to get through the book without having to remember everything that came before. It was good that the author decided not to mention his name so his sons could have their privacy.
It was good to be written in pieces. I don't normally read only one book at a time so it was easier to get through the book without having to remember everything that came before. It was good that the author decided not to mention his name so his sons could have their privacy.
March 17, 2022
Понравилась книга. Автор очень открыто пишет о своих взаимоотношениях с сыном-аутистом и не скрывает чувств, эмоций. Понравился юмор и позитивный настрой отца в воспитании особенного сына и нормотипичного тоже. Очень интересно, есть ли продолжение.
April 15, 2014
Really enjoyed this book, having a daughter now aged 19yrs with autism I could relate to a great deal of B dad's story , it bought back many happy, sad, challenging, depressing, funny the list could go on and on memories. Would highly recommend this book to all parents with or without a child with autism to read.
February 1, 2016
For once........ Not candy coated!
As a single mum of a teenager with aspergers........I found this book,truthful, hopeful and most of all.........eased the guilt of not always being a perfect parent.......excellent, easy to relate to and practical...... The best autism resource I have yet encountered!
As a single mum of a teenager with aspergers........I found this book,truthful, hopeful and most of all.........eased the guilt of not always being a perfect parent.......excellent, easy to relate to and practical...... The best autism resource I have yet encountered!
May 25, 2016
Wonderful book
This book really was such a refreshing take on this complicated subject. I laughed out loud so many times and could relate with so many stories. Finally a parent like us. It helped me have so much more of a positive outlook on things.
This book really was such a refreshing take on this complicated subject. I laughed out loud so many times and could relate with so many stories. Finally a parent like us. It helped me have so much more of a positive outlook on things.
April 16, 2014
A very interesting read of the day to day issues that families have to face when dealing with the upside down world of autism.
May 9, 2014
I really enjoyed this book. The author does a great job of showing the joys and difficulties of parenting an autistic child.
December 13, 2014
So familiar!
This was a refreshing and honest look at what it's like to raise a precious child on the high end of the spectrum. Funny and honest.
This was a refreshing and honest look at what it's like to raise a precious child on the high end of the spectrum. Funny and honest.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews