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The Gift of Adult ADD: How to Transform Your Challenges and Build on Your Strengths
If you have attention deficit disorder (ADD), you may act impulsively, daydream, and have trouble focusing, but clinical studies suggest that these same symptoms may make you exceptionally creative, intuitive, and energetic. In fact, many people with ADD claim to have become successful because of their ADD, not in spite of it.
In The Gift of Adult ADD , Lara Honos-Webb adapts the revolutionary approach first introduced in the parenting book The Gift of ADHD to the lives of adults with ADD. Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, this book shows you how to transform symptoms into strengths to improve your relationships, job performance, parenting skills, and overall quality of life. You'll also read inspiring stories of real people with ADD who have become successful in part because of their ability to meet the challenges of ADD and make the most of its gifts.
In The Gift of Adult ADD , Lara Honos-Webb adapts the revolutionary approach first introduced in the parenting book The Gift of ADHD to the lives of adults with ADD. Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, this book shows you how to transform symptoms into strengths to improve your relationships, job performance, parenting skills, and overall quality of life. You'll also read inspiring stories of real people with ADD who have become successful in part because of their ability to meet the challenges of ADD and make the most of its gifts.
248 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2008
160 people are currently reading
795 people want to read
About the author
Lara Honos-Webb
20 books20 followersLara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., is the author most recently of The Gift of ADHD Activity Book: 101 Ways to Turn Your Child's Problems into Strengths. She is a licensed clinical psychologist, author of four books, and is considered one of the world's leading authorities on attention deficit disorder (ADD) and depression. "
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
February 26, 2018
I found this book while looking for another in the library. Since just about every person has ADD/ADHD these days, including myself, i thought it could provide some insight into the subject.
Alas, I was wrong. This book is just floating around in its own little mental landscape, postulating one absurdity over the other as we flip through the pages. Lara Honos-Webb is a licensed clinical psychologist and is apparently considered to be one of the leading authorities on ADHD and depression. As the title suggests, she presents ADHD as a gift rather than a handicap. She considers people with the diagnosis to be misunderstood and that they actually are creative, sensitive, intuitive, warm, and loving people. And the way the book puts it, it seems to apply to just about every single individual with the disorder. Which doesn't seem particularly realistic to me. I have seen people with ADHD, who truly suffer from it, and it is clearly not a blessing for them. I have seen children consistently unable to brush their teeth or even put their clothes on due to distractibility (is that a word?), as well as adults for that matter. This is a matter of pathology, not a GIFT for fuck's sake. It's bit like the people saying schizophrenia is actually a hidden blessing; that schizophrenics have awakened into a spiritual reality and are thusly not properly understood by the rest of us.
The problem is that the book romanticizes just about all of the ADHD-symptoms into assets. When a person with ADHD is wrong about something, she interprets it as not being wrong at all, but rather like missing the target because of some factor the diagnosee left out. For instance, being wrong about a person is attributed as being able to pick up on the energy of the group rather than the individual. Things like that. It couldn't be as simple as the person actually being wrong about the situation. No, because since they have ADHD, they obviously have hidden superhuman gifts. Some of the attributes of ADHD, as presented in the book, are:
- Being able to delve deeper than others
- Establishing contact on a level most people avoid
- Being driven by an intriguing curiosity
- Being courageous
- Being at one with nature (yes, there is a lot of emphasis of that in the book)
- Being sensitive to the emotions around you
- Being intuitive
- Being creative
Now, the book does indeed state that its main focus is to emphasize the positive aspects of ADHD rather than the negative ones. The general attitude it expresses is to emphasize the positive aspects and to develop them instead of improving one's soft spots and weaker sides. I'm dubious to the efficiency of this method. Imagine a golfer, for instance, wanting to improve his/her game. The person hits many fairways, has a driving average of 275 yards, hits many greens in regulation, but fails miserably at scrambling. Then the best idea might be to emphasize short game-practice, while maintaining the strengths. Apply the attitude of the author of this book, which then would be to practice driving, approach shots and so on, leaving the short game detrimental. What good is a person's area of expertise if all else fails? I don't think that's the best way to improve life. People with ADHD have definite problems, particularly social problems, and not giving the effort to improve those problems in favor of improving whatever one is already good at seems a bit arrogant, if not autistic.
This book is what happens when you stray too far from the accepted views of a subject while failing to provide a solid foundation for your own arguments. It seems to me that the book is the author's fantasy of what ADHD is, and not surprisingly, we learn that she herself has the disability. She seems a bit reluctant to the idea of medication for most sufferers, and implies that her own therapeutic methods are to prefer instead. Turning the disability into something arbitrary and intangible. Making us wonder one thing: is ADHD in our minds or does it exist in the objective sense? The book presents ADHD as a personality trait rather than a disability, so we are left wondering. I think of the "indigo child" thing that everyone was talking about some years ago. We're really just speculating and musing here. In contrast, the psychiatric consensus is that ADHD-suffers have a lack of dopamine (and norepinephrine?), so proper medication increases dopamine concentration in a sample of plasma. The book is way too subjective and romanticizes the condition too much. It also appears to be misdirected. An example from the book itself (translated into English by me, since mine is in another language):
"As an adult with ADHD, you have to ability to mediate the thoughts and emotions of others. You are likely a highly emotional person and can read other people with brilliance. Your contact with your surroundings is an intuitive one - you will often successfully predict what others are going to say - and you are extremely sensitive for the interplay among people. You can even discover that you yourself experience the emotions of other people."
Is this really ADHD? Or is it more along the lines of an intuitive person who is also emotionally sensitive? It seems to me the former. And so, many of the tips and tricks in this book is something that could be applicable for most people on the planet, rather than specifically for ADHD. It is too broad. It doesn't focus on the specifics of advantages and troubles of people with ADHD, but rather, the advantages and troubles of a certain kind of personality. It misses the point. It is however, not completely devoid of good points. One such point is to follow one's strengths and let them be a guiding force in life, rather than letting one's weaknesses get in the way of fulfilling one's dreams.
To sum things up, it swiftly becomes evident that the person who wrote this book suffers lamentably from a hefty case of ADHD. As a result, the book is diffuse, off the point, indecicive, vague, and unreliable. It is written exactly how one would imagine an unmedicated person with ADHD writes a book about his or her condition. If you want to read a self help book with some good tips and pointers for developing a positive outlook on life, then this book might be of some value. If you want to better understand ADHD, and the real curses and blessings thereof, then I'd suggest you read something else.
1.5/5
Alas, I was wrong. This book is just floating around in its own little mental landscape, postulating one absurdity over the other as we flip through the pages. Lara Honos-Webb is a licensed clinical psychologist and is apparently considered to be one of the leading authorities on ADHD and depression. As the title suggests, she presents ADHD as a gift rather than a handicap. She considers people with the diagnosis to be misunderstood and that they actually are creative, sensitive, intuitive, warm, and loving people. And the way the book puts it, it seems to apply to just about every single individual with the disorder. Which doesn't seem particularly realistic to me. I have seen people with ADHD, who truly suffer from it, and it is clearly not a blessing for them. I have seen children consistently unable to brush their teeth or even put their clothes on due to distractibility (is that a word?), as well as adults for that matter. This is a matter of pathology, not a GIFT for fuck's sake. It's bit like the people saying schizophrenia is actually a hidden blessing; that schizophrenics have awakened into a spiritual reality and are thusly not properly understood by the rest of us.
The problem is that the book romanticizes just about all of the ADHD-symptoms into assets. When a person with ADHD is wrong about something, she interprets it as not being wrong at all, but rather like missing the target because of some factor the diagnosee left out. For instance, being wrong about a person is attributed as being able to pick up on the energy of the group rather than the individual. Things like that. It couldn't be as simple as the person actually being wrong about the situation. No, because since they have ADHD, they obviously have hidden superhuman gifts. Some of the attributes of ADHD, as presented in the book, are:
- Being able to delve deeper than others
- Establishing contact on a level most people avoid
- Being driven by an intriguing curiosity
- Being courageous
- Being at one with nature (yes, there is a lot of emphasis of that in the book)
- Being sensitive to the emotions around you
- Being intuitive
- Being creative
Now, the book does indeed state that its main focus is to emphasize the positive aspects of ADHD rather than the negative ones. The general attitude it expresses is to emphasize the positive aspects and to develop them instead of improving one's soft spots and weaker sides. I'm dubious to the efficiency of this method. Imagine a golfer, for instance, wanting to improve his/her game. The person hits many fairways, has a driving average of 275 yards, hits many greens in regulation, but fails miserably at scrambling. Then the best idea might be to emphasize short game-practice, while maintaining the strengths. Apply the attitude of the author of this book, which then would be to practice driving, approach shots and so on, leaving the short game detrimental. What good is a person's area of expertise if all else fails? I don't think that's the best way to improve life. People with ADHD have definite problems, particularly social problems, and not giving the effort to improve those problems in favor of improving whatever one is already good at seems a bit arrogant, if not autistic.
This book is what happens when you stray too far from the accepted views of a subject while failing to provide a solid foundation for your own arguments. It seems to me that the book is the author's fantasy of what ADHD is, and not surprisingly, we learn that she herself has the disability. She seems a bit reluctant to the idea of medication for most sufferers, and implies that her own therapeutic methods are to prefer instead. Turning the disability into something arbitrary and intangible. Making us wonder one thing: is ADHD in our minds or does it exist in the objective sense? The book presents ADHD as a personality trait rather than a disability, so we are left wondering. I think of the "indigo child" thing that everyone was talking about some years ago. We're really just speculating and musing here. In contrast, the psychiatric consensus is that ADHD-suffers have a lack of dopamine (and norepinephrine?), so proper medication increases dopamine concentration in a sample of plasma. The book is way too subjective and romanticizes the condition too much. It also appears to be misdirected. An example from the book itself (translated into English by me, since mine is in another language):
"As an adult with ADHD, you have to ability to mediate the thoughts and emotions of others. You are likely a highly emotional person and can read other people with brilliance. Your contact with your surroundings is an intuitive one - you will often successfully predict what others are going to say - and you are extremely sensitive for the interplay among people. You can even discover that you yourself experience the emotions of other people."
Is this really ADHD? Or is it more along the lines of an intuitive person who is also emotionally sensitive? It seems to me the former. And so, many of the tips and tricks in this book is something that could be applicable for most people on the planet, rather than specifically for ADHD. It is too broad. It doesn't focus on the specifics of advantages and troubles of people with ADHD, but rather, the advantages and troubles of a certain kind of personality. It misses the point. It is however, not completely devoid of good points. One such point is to follow one's strengths and let them be a guiding force in life, rather than letting one's weaknesses get in the way of fulfilling one's dreams.
To sum things up, it swiftly becomes evident that the person who wrote this book suffers lamentably from a hefty case of ADHD. As a result, the book is diffuse, off the point, indecicive, vague, and unreliable. It is written exactly how one would imagine an unmedicated person with ADHD writes a book about his or her condition. If you want to read a self help book with some good tips and pointers for developing a positive outlook on life, then this book might be of some value. If you want to better understand ADHD, and the real curses and blessings thereof, then I'd suggest you read something else.
1.5/5
February 11, 2009
So apparently ADD makes you psychic. Who knew?
April 17, 2012
It was okay. Had some good points. I didn’t care for the total embracing of ADD. I don’t think it’s possible for everyone to be a successful business entrepreneur, firefighter or psychologist if you have ADD. Some of us will probably do better to accept what we have, seek counseling, and seek chemical (legal) drug help. That’s how I’m going to go.
Read
November 12, 2023This is the kind of book that’s best as a combo with another one. This one offers a destigmatizing perspective and useful advice on how to reframe symptoms and move toward one’s gifts / values / authentic self. Which tbh is super valuable even just a diversion from a pathologizing and highly critical perspective that so much other literature on the topic seems to carry. That said, it would be better read in combo with a book that offers more concrete advice about addressing symptoms / “fail states” and finding concrete accommodations in various settings.
Also, hilariously given what the book says is an annoyance for an ADHDer, the repetitiveness of some areas and concepts in the book made it hard to read for me 😂
Also, hilariously given what the book says is an annoyance for an ADHDer, the repetitiveness of some areas and concepts in the book made it hard to read for me 😂
August 31, 2012
I liked the focus on the common talents seen in people with ADHD as well as the common struggles people face in typical work spaces. However, the emphasis on seeing it as a 'gift' really delayed me from getting help I needed sooner.
August 2, 2015
In the end, this was a worthwhile read for me personally but I can see where the book has a niche appeal. It makes a lot of great points and as someone who has some ADD tendency, it forced me to rethink some things. It wasn't particularly well organized, however, and a lot of points were just repeated.
I wasn't into the early-middle portions of the book so much. I enjoyed reading about extremely successful people and what made them tick, but I thought Dr. Honos-Webb went overboard attributing every little aspect of their personality and their success to ADD.
The book picked up the last 80 pages or so, when she spoke of the specific gifts of ADD. Perhaps I just related better to these sections but I also think it was much better written than the earlier parts of the book.
It is intended as a self-help book, but I enjoyed it more for the points it made. The big point is to emphasize the gifts of ADD and not be drowned by the weaknesses. Some may take this too literally and think she is asking for an ADD Woodstock in America, that everyone needs to embrace it, as is. I still think patience is a virtue, but having an active mind is too!
I do respect Dr. Honos-Webb greatly for her intellect and her accomplishments and her words are worth hearing. I actually went to middle and high school with her, a year behind, so perhaps that lent me to be more trusting than I would for most psych books.
I wasn't into the early-middle portions of the book so much. I enjoyed reading about extremely successful people and what made them tick, but I thought Dr. Honos-Webb went overboard attributing every little aspect of their personality and their success to ADD.
The book picked up the last 80 pages or so, when she spoke of the specific gifts of ADD. Perhaps I just related better to these sections but I also think it was much better written than the earlier parts of the book.
It is intended as a self-help book, but I enjoyed it more for the points it made. The big point is to emphasize the gifts of ADD and not be drowned by the weaknesses. Some may take this too literally and think she is asking for an ADD Woodstock in America, that everyone needs to embrace it, as is. I still think patience is a virtue, but having an active mind is too!
I do respect Dr. Honos-Webb greatly for her intellect and her accomplishments and her words are worth hearing. I actually went to middle and high school with her, a year behind, so perhaps that lent me to be more trusting than I would for most psych books.
April 17, 2012
i enjoyed the first part of this book more than the second part, although i thought that would be the other way around. also, i see why i wasn't able to get through this book the first time i tried to read it. i needed to learn a lot more about adult add (e.g., the managing your adult adhd book) before this book would be as helpful to me.
loving memoir and biography as much as i do, i would have thought the profiles would be of great interest to me, but i found them less compelling than the straight-up information. however, i did find many of the activities helpful and have taken some helpful and inspirational ideas from this book.
loving memoir and biography as much as i do, i would have thought the profiles would be of great interest to me, but i found them less compelling than the straight-up information. however, i did find many of the activities helpful and have taken some helpful and inspirational ideas from this book.
March 8, 2013
As both a mental health professional and an adult with ADHD, I am happy to say that this is a very helpful and easy-to-read book. Information is provided in a succinct format and each section ends with valuable steps one can take to improve their deficits. The best part about this book was the ability to read a small chunk of information each night, then turn off the light and head into sleep knowing I had more to celebrate about the coming day than to dread.
August 31, 2009
i tried to read it but lost interest. HA!
December 1, 2022
I really liked the positive focus of this book. While some attributes of ADD don’t resonate with me, many do. The questions and insights and suggestions were very thought provoking. The recognition that many adults with ADD have forced themselves to fit in and be “normal” and the suggestion that maybe you don’t have to was very enlightening. I recommend this to anyone who feels like they struggle with ADD, whether or not they have an official diagnosis.
April 11, 2021
I recognize what many reviewers have already stated about the author's focus (maybe glamourizing) on ADD symptoms as gifts. This feels minimizing for those who have genuinely struggled with ADD and have felt many negative impacts in their lives. However, Dr. Honos-Webb offers a new lens for us to see ADD, to harness its gifts while also acknowledging its curses. There are so many books out there with tips and tricks for managing the negative effects of symptoms that I found it really refreshing to read a book that allowed me to understand the positive impacts as well. It might be helpful to view this book as one tool among many for the task of understanding and managing this complex disorder.
August 6, 2011
Too fluffy.
January 15, 2023
It was a semi helpful book, specially for those suffering with ADD ( ADHD the inattentive type). There were some useful tips, but there are issues that were never addressed. Our educational system is not designed for people with neurodivergent brain, but these people are what we need in the work force as they bring in creativity and innovation. But the work environment is not also suitable for them but what to do?
But all in all, it was inspiring to hear about all these people with ADD who made great things with their lives and ADD was what made it possible.
But all in all, it was inspiring to hear about all these people with ADD who made great things with their lives and ADD was what made it possible.
September 23, 2023
There is good information and suggestions in the book but the authors extreme anti-medication stance is distracting. It feels akin to telling a person not to wear glasses because they will hide your true face! It further perpetuates the myth that medication turns people into zombies. I would worry that this could cause shame some individuals and lead them to make choices that aren’t in their best interest and without their medical providers.
August 31, 2019
Putting aside all the tiresome anecdotes of successful people that seems to be a must in books like these I found this book very enlightening. I do understand myself quite a bit better now and also became a bit more patient and understanding about my pecularitys. Yeah- I guess it changed my life a bit which is not too shabby for a book. ;)
June 1, 2024
Excellent read for those of us with ADD/ADHD
This is a very valuable resource for us with ADD/ADHD. The author, having ADD herself, could really relate with the reader. She offers daily exercises which we can perform in order to manage our everyday struggles. Definitely worth the read.
This is a very valuable resource for us with ADD/ADHD. The author, having ADD herself, could really relate with the reader. She offers daily exercises which we can perform in order to manage our everyday struggles. Definitely worth the read.
August 19, 2018
Despite having read a few titles around ADD, I was genuinely surprised with what I was able to take from this title. The case studies were especially helpful!
October 1, 2018
We all have different brains and we all have gifts to give the world.
December 17, 2021
If you think you might have ADD/ADHD, read this book. So validating.
April 16, 2023
I liked her conception but it is not clear that what she has reported is evidenced-based or more so her viewpoint.
August 15, 2023
Started out interesting and encouraging but I got bored halfway through and skimmed it. It was too long and I wasn't interested in the stories about specific people.
December 1, 2023
I have read many self help books this year and they are beginning to feel repetitive.
March 24, 2024
Finally, an author who really gets it.
August 1, 2024
The book gave the reader a new way of looking at the advantages of having ADD. Thought Provoking.
January 10, 2023
The outdated nature of this book is clear, and I ended up skipping a lot of the profiles which revolved around qualities that, from my perspective at least, have fortunately been left behind by the neurodiversity movement. That said, there is a lot of useful insights to sift around for, and a lot of really helpful positive reframings.
February 5, 2024
From an Adult ADD - Time to Embrace my Quirkiness!!
I borrowed the Author’s first book published 2005 from my local library after my husband asserted I may be ADHD to which I scoffed. It was life affirming and incredibly eye-opening for me. I hadn’t yet been diagnosed but it felt like the deck of cards were now all in suit order, Ace to King. I experienced a huge grieving period for what could have been had only, but this was accompanied by great joy that affirmed my being in the world as I am without apology for my lacks.
This book delves more deeply into the gifts as well as the setbacks and frustrations experienced by most ADD Adults and offers some fantastic activities to help one fully bloom into one’s self.
Thank you Lara Honos-Webb for painting a picture that reflects my core being and celebrates who, what, and how I choose to inhabit this world.
Deborah Alcock
Age ~ 55 when diagnosed as « off the charts » ADD. (I do love to excel!)
Age 66 today
I borrowed the Author’s first book published 2005 from my local library after my husband asserted I may be ADHD to which I scoffed. It was life affirming and incredibly eye-opening for me. I hadn’t yet been diagnosed but it felt like the deck of cards were now all in suit order, Ace to King. I experienced a huge grieving period for what could have been had only, but this was accompanied by great joy that affirmed my being in the world as I am without apology for my lacks.
This book delves more deeply into the gifts as well as the setbacks and frustrations experienced by most ADD Adults and offers some fantastic activities to help one fully bloom into one’s self.
Thank you Lara Honos-Webb for painting a picture that reflects my core being and celebrates who, what, and how I choose to inhabit this world.
Deborah Alcock
Age ~ 55 when diagnosed as « off the charts » ADD. (I do love to excel!)
Age 66 today
June 18, 2021
3 ⭐️
I liked this book and I found it very helpful for understanding ADD a bit more. My boyfriend has it and the information displayed on the book made me comprehend a lot of things much better.
I don’t entirely support, however, the air of superiority that the author uses to talk about it as if ADD made you better than everyone else. I feel like the idea that you just need to discover that fact and embrace it might encourage some people to make wrong decisions based on that and to not address their issues or to not take ownership of things that they might be doing wrong and by doing so improve their lives.
I liked this book and I found it very helpful for understanding ADD a bit more. My boyfriend has it and the information displayed on the book made me comprehend a lot of things much better.
I don’t entirely support, however, the air of superiority that the author uses to talk about it as if ADD made you better than everyone else. I feel like the idea that you just need to discover that fact and embrace it might encourage some people to make wrong decisions based on that and to not address their issues or to not take ownership of things that they might be doing wrong and by doing so improve their lives.
June 3, 2014
What I liked best about this book was turning ADD from a deficit to a gift. Something positive that my son sorely needs. I'm passing this book on to him and hope that he finds some relief from the constant negative thoughts and energy. Hoping that a few of the exercises listed will be beneficial.
May 18, 2014
Helpful for understanding how ADD people work and what gifts the condition offers. Also, interesting to see how "ADD" our world/culture is becoming.
October 19, 2021
God so good Corking
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews