Portrait of Our Marriage Memoirs of Love, Family, the Internet and Obsession: Relationships, online sex addiction, men– women & todays secrets behind closed doors, loss of intimacy & trust drama

by Martha Emms

Fun • Sexy • Intense • Hot • Compelling • Thought Provoking, and So Real you may find it Shocking, even Disturbing.
Inspired by an episode on Oprah from years ago that dealt with men addicted to porn, a dream, and information from 8 women's lives, Portrait of Our Marriage, is a story you don't want to miss. Nicky, embarks on a journey to find herself and become her own person despite the legacy of a domineering father and an emotionally—and often physically—distant husband.
Reminiscing events from her life, she looks at pictures and remembers romance, falling in love, marriage, and family.
This is the story of one woman's life as her husband's interest in pornography becomes an obsession that ultimately changes both of them.
Although this is a fictional memoir and only one woman's journey, many women today deal with this issue in silence, feeling ashamed and embarrassed.
What would you endure for love?

THE ROMANCE WILL SEDUCE YOU. THE STORY COULD BE YOURS!

Nicky led a sheltered life until she met Brett: An adventurous, handsome, smart, and exciting lover. She had never known this kind of love before, either emotionally or physically. She pictured her life with Brett as a partner, a friend, and a father to her future children. And when they married, Nicky knew she had found everything her heart and body desired.

But when Brett’s fantasy world of racy magazines, explicit videos, and disturbing internet porn becomes an obsession and affects their marriage, Nicky has to ask herself: What happened to the man I married?

Portrait of Our Marriage is the story of one woman’s journey.

"Write about what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open."
Natalie Goldberg

"A book doesn’t come with a suggestion box, and the writer is not obliged to sculpt a story to your specific needs."
Nora Roberts

Genres: Marriage, Womens Fiction, Modern, Fiction, Romance, Addiction, Contemporary

251 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 1, 2012

Reviews

[Delena Silverfox · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book yesterday and had to let myself sit and think about it before writing this review, mainly because it stirred up so many emotions in me that I had to wait for them to settle before I could approach this.

My background is in psychology, and I found Brett's years-long descent into porn addiction to be accurate in how it changes behavior, sexual performance, and how it slowly encroaches and erodes the trust and emotional connection within a relationship. The metamorphosis from charming, open, loving husband to secretive, defensive addict was painful to read, but so true. His emotional manipulation of Nicky was another thing that was painful to read about but so prevalent in certain dysfunctional relationships.

The way he villainized her whenever she confronted him, and how he would compare his severe transgressions to her healthy behavior based on minimal similarity is so typical of this behavior. The reasonable party, who is only trying to find common ground, often falls into the trap of admitting to the addict's accusations, the way Nicky does time and again, and is a phenomenal example of how there is no reasoning with a dysfunctional addict or emotional manipulator. They don't operate with any logic or reason, and anyone who engages with them is set up for failure. Nicky learned this time and again, and her resolve to continue believing in her husband for the sake of their marriage and the years of foundation they built together made me ache.

I don't understand the reviews criticizing the ending. Sometimes a happy ending isn't them living happily ever after. Not when one of them is blind to their own addiction and actively demolishing the relationship. Even if Brett had gone to therapy, I think it would have been too little, too late. Nicky fought for her marriage for too long, tried to be forgiving, understanding, tried to only focus on the positives, and lived with shame. The moment she came to the decision that she did, she started living again. Truly living.

THAT is the best happily-ever-after!

*I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review

[Lobstergirl · Rating 1 out of 5]

Another one of those mystifying books with 294 ratings and a 4.04 average rating. Horrible writing. Unbelievably boring story. The author is writing about how a husband's porn addiction damages a marriage, yet a big chunk of the preview is the wife's own porny description of a sex act. (All the porny sex in these self-published books reads exactly the same. I think they're all just plagiarizing and replagiarizing each other.)

"...his thumbs tweaked and toyed until my nipples were hardened peaks..."

"He began to suckle again, pleasuring each nipple with a strong pull that sent throbbing sensations to my center dome..."

(dome?)

"gyrations filling every cavity inside me with his rock hard shaft" - his one shaft filled every cavity? Was it multi-pronged?

"I came up choking on the mixture of manly juices and water that had entered my mouth. A turbulence of the mixed blend spewed forth explosively landing all over Brett's face."

Whatever your day job is, author lady, don't quit it.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Looking at memories in a digital photo frame might revive a marriage, and looking at porn on the internet might destroy it. Both come together in Martha Emms’ fictional tale Portrait of our Marriage, which marries graphically sensual romance with the harsh realities and imperfections of life. Just how imperfect can a marriage become before it’s time to call it quits? And where is the line between being selfish and being true to oneself?
Outwardly Nicky has it all. After a somewhat repressed childhood under a domineering religious father, she meets Brett, the perfect hunk and ideal date. Soon they’re off to the gorgeous scenery of Havasu Falls where myriad mysticisms blend into a beautiful marriage ceremony and the future beckons. Brett’s role as the perfect husband is marred only by his love of certain magazines and movies, and the internet, but surely Nicky, determined not to let the past spoil her future, should be able to cope. She protects her children. She presents herself to the world as perfectly happy, and she hides her pain.
Beautifully descriptive passages bring gorgeous scenery to life. Haunting internal dialogs create deepening empathy. And if anyone can be “a nice perv,” Brett surely can. But addiction’s ability to destroy relationships is hauntingly real and very well-drawn in this thought-provoking novel. Framed by steamy romance, this tale runs the gamut of emotions and reveals those cracks in the balance between image and truth. Sometimes drawing a line might be more important than holding onto a broken memory.
Disclosure: I heard about this novel on the internet and was lucky enough to get a free ecopy.

[Brenda Perlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maybe there will be a part two. I hope so. I would love to know what happens with the characters in this story. Emms is a terrific writer whose story is straightforward and easy to digest. It was very easy to get into Portrait of Our Marriage right from the start. The characters came to life and I could relate so some of the main characters frustration over her failing marriage. Her story was touching and realistic.

I wish this author all the success in the world. She deserves to become a household name.

[Nicole Russell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was such an IMPORTANT book! The only reason I didn't rate it higher was because it wasn't the kind of book that I would keep in my 'Treasure Chest' of books... Not something I would want to read again... It's hard to even say it was a book I 'enjoyed' either... But I'm SO glad I read it and would recommend it to ANYONE! It was very well written, and so interesting. This is the kind of book that teaches you something... Leaves an impression on you... Very thought provoking... And SO VERY REAL! This theme of this book is on the dangers of pornography addiction. Pornography is so socially acceptable in this society... Nobody wants to admit that it could be dangerous... Most people say it's "healthy", and "perfectly normal' to watch pornography... And without getting into my moral beliefs on the subject... I believe whole heartedly that Porn Addiction is just as harmful to peoples lives and relationships as Drugs and Alcohol. The large majority of men and boys have watched pornography... Not all of them are addicted to it of course, but so many people are... And since it's so private, it's really not known how many people suffer from addiction to it. The occasional viewing of porn may not effect someone's life or relationship... But it always starts that way... And eventually you need it... And just like addiction to drugs your priorities shift... The most important priority is getting off on it... The need for it becomes more important than your relationships, your job, taking care of yourself. I'm so glad that the author wrote this book, to share a story of how porn addiction ruined this young woman's marriage... A marriage that seemed perfect to everyone... even to herself. As readers it's so hard to imagine that this man she falls in love with will become the same man who chooses his porn addiction over his family... But as you read through each chapter... Going through the years with her... You see the signs, and start connecting the dots... And it makes sense how it happens... Just like any other addiction... It's devastating. But such an important topic to consider... And it happens to SO MANY people! I would wager that the majority of marriages that split up because of "sexual incompatibility" or because of "loss of interest in intimacy" etc... has something to do with porn addiction. Men who watch a lot of porn begin to have unrealistic expectations of sex... They get off on such sick and twisted scenarios... It becomes a need and regular relationships don't satisfy them anymore. They can't physically get off with regular sex... There has to be these preverted elements to it... Or they have to master-bate while watching porn to get off... It's really twisted but it happens all the time. Or some just need the adventure that they see in porn so it compels them to find it outside of their marriage and leads them to extra marital affairs... This books lays this reality out perfectly. You watch her husband go from the most respectable, kind, family oriented, and loving man to a porn crazed preverted deviant that CAN"T give it up... It's just like drugs... You start a little at a time, and pretty soon the small dose you are taking occasionally looses it's effect... You need more. What gave you your buzz doesn't work anymore... You have to up the ante until you're an addict... Same thing happens with porn.

So the book... It was great. SO well written. I really felt for Niky... I went through it with her... I felt her love for her husband... She loved him SO much, which is why she ignores the problem for so long. She doesn't want to lose him and believes he's a good person... She wants to ignore it, but when it starts effecting their relationships, their sex life, their feelings for each other... That's when she can't put up with it anymore... It's really a devastating story. Just heartbreaking. And it's not a happy ending. No love overcomes in this story... But I felt satisfied with that. There is a point in a relationship where someone's addiction, no matter what it is, has done too much damage... His addiction changed him as a person... It changed them... Their family. She couldn't forget the things he did to her, the things she saw, the way it changed them to the core... She was right to leave. Even though it's heartbreaking.

Not my usual kind of read... But it piqued my interest, and boy am I glad i read it... Like I said, such an important topic... Something we really as a society need to be careful of... And educated about... For the sake of our own children and our future society... As porn has become a click away, so accessible... Our future generations are in trouble. An epidemic... We need to be better educated about it... Do studies about the harms of porn addiction. This is a book that could inspire powerful dialogue that could promote a change of attitude... So grateful for this author and for her courage to write about this subject! Highly recommend!

[Chris Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

The black and white reworked into a kaleidoscope of complex colour.

Portrait of Our Marriage very cleverly draws the line between what should be acceptable in a relationship and what shouldn’t be. The clever part, though, is how faintly the author traces that line. Let’s face it, don’t we all love to convince ourselves – particularly one another – every other day, in some form, that we have a strong handle on what we perceive to be a perversion? And, in some cases, sexual perversion. It may be the fella who lives down the street, what he’s been up to; it may be someone’s escapades in a soap opera – oh, they’re easy-meat, ’should be hanged, end of !

But again, let’s face it, deep down, we all know that life isn’t so black and white, far from it, and that, were we not so insecure in ourselves, which we all are, we wouldn’t take this black and white view, but have to courage to affront life, for all its complexities. Well, the author of this novel has done just that – and I, personally, have yet to see it done elsewhere, books that approach the subject of porn addiction. She’s done it superbly.

We know from the outset that the marriage has hit the rocks, so I’m giving nothing away there, but, suffice it to say, the wife has it all; Brett, the loving, understanding hunk; the kids et al… except the husband isn’t so understanding when it comes to that little bugbear: porn. Furthermore, he just may not understand that he has an addiction, “may” being the operative word – does he have selective hearing? Selective understanding?

Or, to really throw the cards up in the air, might I suggest that Nicky, the narratorial wife, is a little too highly strung? I may just be playing devil’s advocate here, but my point is that anyone reading this novel, male and female, must, at some point at least, question themselves with regard to how they might behave in a similar situation at home – indeed, some might just be in a similar situation at home…

Of course, it takes more than subject matter for a reader to be posing pertinent questions. The writer must draw that reader in first of all, which the author succeeds in doing with grace.

And this, I might add, is her debut work. What a start. Bravo!

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow... just oh my... not for the faint of heart... makes you wonder about people and their addictions and how much pain they cause... I am not usually one to stray from the HEA romance but I think I actually saw this episode on Oprah years ago.
Martha I think you did this subject well and with brutual honesty. Thank you... this book just might help somebody out there.

[B.R. Snow · Rating 5 out of 5]

What do you do when a relationship based on an intense love heads south and turns into a chaotic mess of mistrust and broken promises? When does one finally summon the courage to say ‘enough is enough’ and walk away? These questions, and more, are the basis for Portrait of our Marriage . This well-crafted story traces the relationship of Nicky and Brett; two well-drawn characters seemingly well-suited for each other and a lifelong marriage and family. Ms. Emms’ book, her first, is a thought-provoking, realistic look at many of the challenges everyone in a relationship faces. However, when the issue of addiction enters the picture, in this case a porn addiction, additional tension and challenges mount.

Portrait of our Marriage is written in a straightforward manner and the entire book exudes honesty and authenticity. Ms. Emms’ doesn’t sugarcoat the material and her approach in this regard is a tremendous asset and helps make the book relatable. It’s a tough read in parts as the harshness of the relationship combined with moments of romance, sometimes fairly graphic, collide yet, in tandem, contribute to the book’s realism.

It’s an honest, well-written book that deftly handles tough subject matter. Definitely a recommended read.

[Jo · Rating 1 out of 5]

For the first time, I think I feel bad about my rating - only because I'm thinking this wasn't...wasn't....in my age group? If I ever read a book that screamed, "40 to 50 year old, divorcee mom," this is it. The writing wasn't bad; it was obvious the writer knew the mechanics and technicalities of writing...but that is only half the battle (if that) with a successful book. The scenes and dialogue were so anti-climactic - For content to be so boring, it literally put me to sleep, there wasn't even any value-added from any of it; all those chapters could have been easily omitted. We know that being a wife and mother isn't always so glamorous but to put it in a book and call it a romance? I didn't get it. And why, for the love of romance novel gods, would anyone list this as erotica? I'm sad for those people. Really, really sad. Lastly, the book ends on a kinda depressing note. A little too real-life if you ask me (another reason I just don't think I'm the targeted reader for this book).

This isn't a one-star rating with a passion. It's just a simple, "I didn't like it." It's certainly a read for a more mature woman than I.

[Wendy Janes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nicky is looking back on her relationship with her husband, Brett. Their attraction for each other has always been strong, but over the years her trust in him has been eroded by his escalating addiction to pornography. Can her love for him endure?

The author makes Nicky and Brett’s relationship very believable: from their instant attraction to their developing love, through to the darker days that follow. Their exotic wedding and the birth of their first child illustrate their happy days, but alongside these blissful events are isolated incidents that chip away at their marriage.

Nicky’s feelings towards Brett become increasingly complicated. Even when his obsession starts to encroach on family life, you can see how much she wants to keep them together. There are mistakes and misunderstandings on both sides, and her attempts at coming to terms with his addiction over the years feel authentic, as do his attempts to try and pass his compulsion off as her problem. I imagine that anyone who is going through this for real will draw some comfort from the story, and those of us who are not, will be wondering what we would do in Nicky’s position.

That said, a couple things don’t quite work for me. While the majority of scenes where Nicky discovers a new example of Brett’s addiction ring true, a few feel a little forced, as if their role only serves to help move the plot forward. Also, the descriptions of sex, particularly in one memorable early scene, are spoiled for me by the euphemisms used.

I’d like to end on a positive note, because the positives far outweigh the negatives. A huge part of my enjoyment of this novel was not being able to tell whether this couple were going to stay together or not. The author kept me guessing right up to the end.

(I won a copy of this book via Carol Bond’s Pen to Paper website.)

[Christoph Fischer · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Portrait of Our Marriage" by Martha Emma was an unexpectedly emotional and gripping reading experience. Like Nick, the narrator and many of her friends in the book I fell in love with the idea of that perfect and happy marriage, the man of her dreams: dead sexy, considerate and loving.
Like her I led myself to believe that it was her overreacting and would have given her exactly the kind of advice all the friends in the novel gave her.

This fictional memoir is particularly apt in its portrayal of the subtle changes and nuances of 'normal masturbation' to actual porn addiction. Written with raw honesty and often explicit detail this novel takes no prisoners and calls a spade a spade, particularly when letting the women of Nick's support group talk, scenes that do however work particularly well and let the readers sigh with relief in the same was as the women of said group. The book dares to look at sexuality and marital relations with an honesty that many don't. It may be uncomfortable for some but I feel the direct approach is needed to discuss the problem with enough depth.

I feel rather mesmerized by the experience of this book. The journey takes us from happily ever after to first minor issues, bigger shame, drama and conflict to all out facing of the truth where denial is only possible for the addict.
If you wonder what it might be like to live in such a marriage that started so promising and needs so much work this book is for you. Insightful, thought provoking and powerful this is a must read.

[Claire McRoberts · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've never given a one star rating before, but I have to here because this was literally one of the worst books I've ever read. ("Read" isn't even accurate - I skimmed 75% of it just because I'm incapable of not finishing a book, no matter how terrible it is.) I chose it because it sounded like an interesting idea for a book and goodreads had rated it at a 4.34. Rare miss for goodreads, but man was it a big miss! The dialect is on about a 6th grade level, as is the author's understanding of writing mechanics and punctuation, which is very distracting. Speaking of distracting, the author's digression into countless undeveloped side stories also detracts hugely from the book. There is zero development of the characters - I felt absolutely no connection to any of them, and found them all to be obnoxious, unrealistic, irrelevant, or all of the above. The entire book was pretty obnoxious, unrealistic, and irrelevant, actually. SPOILER: When the main character tells her husband she wants a divorce, his reply is, "I am not happy about this." Seriously?! This book could have been so good, because the idea behind it is thought-provoking, but it reads like a pre-teen romance novel interspersed with some awkwardly graphic, cliche sex scenes. Such a disappointment. I seriously just can't say enough bad things about this book.

[Vicky Whedbee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Intense book!

I wasn't sure what to expect when I started this book and even still had to go back to the beginning when I had finished to see if it was based on a true story. That's how realistically it was written!

I was happy to find it was work of fiction, as parts of it were off the charts the picture of perfection as far as a marriage could be, the parts that became the ultimate demise of the marriage were incredibly painful!

I was glad to know that this poor couple had not actually been through the struggles depicted in this book. That being said, sadly some poor couples have been through things of this nature and much more. In hind sight this book brought to light the realization that as much as a person may put on a happy face, you never really know what demons they may be battling, only the person in those shoes are privy to that information, unless of course they have enough courage to share with someone, which often times is not the case.

Hopefully after reading this book I will be more perceptive of the things other people may be dealing with that I'm not aware of when they are having a bad day, and have the wisdom to react appropriately.

This book was very well written, realistic, and could ultimately give someone the courage to seek help. Well done!

[Sass Cadeaux · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel has it all. Steamy romance, budding relationship, growth, family values, life lessons and yes ... that unexplainable feeling of being alone while being in the arms of the one you love. The plot was clear and concise. This story from beginning to end had me empathize with each and every character.

It isn’t a story about good verses evil … it’s a story about life. This story takes you out of the norm and places you into forbidden territory. There is a reason why things happen behind closed doors, and why no one ever speaks of it.

Those secrets fused barriers into what most would call a blissful life, causing soul searching moments, forcing life decisions and breaching trust.

It shows my rating as 4 stars, but what I really rate this story is 4.5 stars. I wish Goodreads allowed us to give half stars. Possibly Goodreads will allow us the ability to post half stars in the near future.

Sass :)

[Judy Churchill · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is difficult to rate. I was ready to give up after the first quarter of the story. The writing was awkward and the story didn't seem to be going anywhere. After the main character met the man she would marry the pace of the story picked up. I do share the feeling of one reviewer that the author's description of their sex life approached pornography and perhaps it was to lay the foundation for what was to come. When Ms. Emms got to the meat of the story I was mesmerized. She did a wonderful job of portraying Brett's pornography addiction. I don't know that I've read a better portrayal of the disorder. The author shows how it is progressive, isolating, and soon takes over Brett's ability to have a satisfying sex life with his wife, and ultimately costs him his marriage. Nicky, his wife, struggles with her own humiliation and loss of self esteem. It is worth a read.

[Stevie Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can empathise well with the writer. I too have written a book in a similar vein, finding it very therapeutic, and wonder if Martha (like myself) has based her novel partly on personal experience? Martha, if you're out there in the ether, give us a shout!

[Tara Niland · Rating 1 out of 5]

A disappointing read I must say.

[Delinda McCann · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a bittersweet story of love and addiction. Nicky and Brett were the perfect couple. They were popular in the neighborhood and had some close friends to go camping and skiing with. They loved to snow ski. In fact they met on the ski slope where Brett was a member of the ski patrol and Nicki skied into him.

Martha Emms tells this story beautifully from the moment the couple first met and how they came to fall in love. Nicky was from a repressive background and trying to learn how to live a full adventuresome life. Brett, an engineer, was perfect for her. He possessed a fearless love for adventure and supported her as she overcame her fears.

Nicky could not have known that some of Brett’s behaviors that all single men engage in would some day consume his life through addiction. She tells of the creeping isolation, and her efforts to seek help. As the addiction escalates Emms chronicles the steps and denial of Brett’s descent into his own empty world.

Brett’s love of his family is clear to the reader. I found myself rooting for Brett each time he told Nicky that he would change. I applauded his efforts to reach out to his wife and family while still in the grips of something stronger than himself.

Emms tells the story almost like a mystery leaving the reader trying to guess what will happen next. Will the loving husband defeat his addiction?

The big thing I learned from the story is to never judge others. We just don’t know what goes on in private lives and all sorts of addictions are so common. We don’t know why someone may quit a good job or leave the perfect spouse.

I recommend this book, especially for those who may be living in relationship where addiction is destroying a loved one.

[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Portrait of our Marriage, by Martha Emms, is an emotionally graphic, sexually explicit, no-holds-barred portrayal of addiction to pornography. Told from the point of view of the wife of an addict, it is heart-wrenching. The story unfolds, as it so often does in life, slowly and painfully over years, clearly capturing the rationalizing and minimizing that partners often do when they hope beyond hope that a problem isn’t really a problem, or will just go away on its own.

Nicky is madly in love with Brett—their meeting, romance and marriage almost idyllic, until small cracks appear. As Brett’s secrets reveal themselves through those cracks, Nicky begins to question and confront him. Brett’s angry denial and the confusion in the world outside their marriage about the male prerogative to indulge in pornography keeps Nicky tied up, anxious, and uncertain. Like many women in her situation, she grows increasingly isolated and less sure of herself as a wife and a person. Fortunately, as Nicky eventually discovers, she’s not alone. The book does a good job of showing how difficult, but vital, help-seeking can be to women with troubled partners. Addictions have a trajectory that’s destructive and even deadly, however, unless the addict owns the problem and takes action. Will Brett do that—face his addiction to pornography? Will their marriage survive the toll that addiction takes on intimacy and trust? You’ll have to read the book to find out. Five Stars.

[Sahara Foley · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, I thought the use of a digital picture frame to fill in back story was a pretty unique approach. With each new batch of pictures, we advance through the timeline and are also shown the deterioration of Brett's obsession with porn. I must admit, at the beginning, I thought Nicky was a little overboard with her concerns about the magazines and VHS tapes. Most households have them. When I was younger, my parents had pornographic comics. And of course, us kids found them, and reading them didn't cause any degenerate behavior. I also thought the daughter's reaction to accidentally seeing a porn film was over dramatic and unrealistic. But that particular scene helped set the stage for Brett's willingness to hide and lie about his addiction.

The plot line was well-constructed and flowed along, keeping me engaged. The characters were well-developed and I enjoyed watching how Nicky grew and had to make the hard decisions regarding her relationship with Brett.. Talking about one's sexuality is a touchy subject. One person's concept of deviant behavior may not be another persons. But the bathroom scene was enough to convince me that Brett definitely had a problem.

All in all, a very good read and I give it 5 feathers.

[S.R. Mallery · Rating 5 out of 5]

***** A FRANK, PULLS-NO-PUNCHES DRAMA

At what point in an adult couple’s relationship does one person’s private, sexual addictions become too intrusive for his/her partner? Who gets to decide what sexual standards/practices a person should engage in? How does one’s upbringing affect his/her sexual acceptance, repugnance, and/or enjoyment? In Martha Emms’ frank, pulls-no-punches “Portrait of Our Marriage,” these important and not often talked about questions are extremely well presented. Not only do we have a ringside seat to a sexually active and fulfilling marriage slowly disintegrating over time, we are also privy to various uplifting group therapy scenes, where the wife not only learns how to share her martial problems, the women in the group, much like a “Greek Chorus,” discuss every avenue, every point of view, and ultimately teach her the most important lesson of all: Be True To Thyself. A highly recommended read!

[Susan Day · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the honesty in this book. We all strive for a perfect relationship but it isn’t always possible. If we add the stresses of pornography and Nicky’s struggles to appear normal to everyone outside her marriage, it’s no wonder the marriage is on the rocks. And yet the love and passion the couple share is deep and meaningful, not to mention, beautifully portrayed by the author. I think Nicky’s decision to stay or to go will resonate with many women. She has her memories of her and Brett’s early times and her children to consider too.

Apart from women, I think most men will get something out of this book. It might help them understand how women feel about watching porn and not giving one hundred percent to a relationship.

Ms Emms writes with a startling frankness that is like a fresh of breath air. She crafts dialogue superbly – all of which makes this a must-read, page turner. I can highly recommend it.

[Yamcrum · Rating 1 out of 5]

Good idea. Appalling writing. First time I've ever read a highly rated goodreads book that was bad and this was awful - lots of anecdotes that went nowhere, adolescent writing style, horrendously written sex scenes (and from a character that had a problem with her husband's porn addiction - no credibility). Sorry.

[Simmie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book I enjoyed. Some parts however went into fine detail about events that I just wanted to skip over as I didn't think they were relevant. I just wanted to get to the heart if the issue and the nitty gritty. It made you think about your own life which are the parts I liked the best,

[Heidi Sp · Rating 1 out of 5]

Apparently this book has a lot of graphic sex scenes in it but I wouldn't know because I couldn't even get through the first chapter. The writing is so unbelievably bad she made the EL James look like Shakespeare.

[Sarah Trumpinski · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is horrible. I was intrigued by the topic but didn't even finish it because it was so poorly written. After reading about half of the book I had zero interest in the characters.

[Lobstergirl · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reviewing the paperback edition as well because I heard it was better. It wasn't.

[Mii · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a great read!

[ACH · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding portrayal of a dream marriage that unravels

This book should be read by every woman who is struggling and in terrible pain because she cannot understand what has gone wrong in her marriage. The author zeros in on an exploding issue for women today, namely the impact on marriage when a spouse turns from his wife to the sensuality readily available online. Martha Emms does an outstanding job of tracking a relationship from a mutually satisfying and supportive team, into a slowly deteriorating and agonizing tragedy. The most important success is the author's poignant and deeply revealing portrayal of the main character's inner struggle and her reactions to the bombardment she is subject to that seem to cast her as the bad guy in her marriage. The conflict is described with an extraordinary attention to detail and courtesy to all the points of view expressed by the various supporting characters. Equally impressive is the manner in which the author develops the character of the husband. He interestingly at first comes across as a very sympathetic character who then becomes thoroughly entrenched in contemporary social norms to the extent that he is incapable of empathy and thus damaged - but his unequivocal refusal to face any demons ultimately transforms him into a rather pathetic and weak-willed fraud. The reader is left feeling as though there should be a sequel because the main character has just discovered her inner strength when we are forced to close the book as it ends. I hope the author will decide to tell us more. A brat read!

[Heidi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Interesting story line, but very poorly written