Oh, Kennedy! The girl has stories, but getting to the center of the Tootsie Roll is near impossible. She doesn't narrate, she bloviates. Like a pitcher winding up, and winding up and winding up- only to drop the ball. She speaks in cliches, innuendo, rhymes and sing song. She gets to the point rarely and often when she gets close she uses words and phrases shrouded in mystery (or is that 'wtf?'), leaving you to unravel whatever the eff she isn't saying, so as not to be sued or worse-be honest.
She has a filthy mouth and her images are constantly sex based even though she literally hangs her hat on being a virgin into her mid twenties as though that isn't a weird hill to die on. Virginity isn't a prize or measure of a life well lived, but Kennedy's inner misogyny runs deep and is embedded into her very veins. She is constantly giving us the weather report from her crotch, and describing the various erections she's come across and she loves the word 'bulging'. It seems that being a technical virgin (though bj's abound) means her entire being is laser focused on her vagina, unlike us more average folks who can just get on with our day. (If this review seems cringe, there is no easier way to put it)
She also takes pride in being a Republican, but since the book was released in 2013 I'm going to shake my head, but NOT go there so as not to rile myself up. A lot of Kennedy's personality relies on being a square surrounded by circles but I guess everyone has an angle.
She does have stories though, and this is why I read the whole (long) memoir. Some of the stories were decent and worth the trip, others rambled. Being privvy to the backstage brouhaha at MTV in the 90s brought back a lot of memories, like how things used to be, the styles, the mood. Her hate for Courtney Love is strong, Courtney having smudged her lip gloss (on purpose and out of malice?) and her name calling and criticism for Love is so over the top. And yet- when Courtney calls her, she talks to her, so...And, good lord, I still cannot grasp that the Goo Goo Dolls song 'Name' is about Kennedy. What's next? The Foo Fighters 'My Hero' is secretly about Marjorie Taylor Greene?
Two stories off the top of my head that were especially disturbing: When she had Marcus Shenkenberg on her talk show (Model, Samantha's boy toy on 'Sex in The City') she took great pleasure in shoving her tongue down his throat without consent. About it she says: "There are very few times in your life, and even fewer contexts, where you can take advantage of a vulnerable super model and assault him against his will, and I knew I would stew in regret if I didn't at least taste his genetically superior, glistening adenoids" (this is what we are dealing with, description wise throughout the entire book) Another involves her in an upscale sauna with Jenny McCarthy wherein Jenny has to 'reinsert' a part of her body when she gets up off a lounge chair, a sentence that has given me nightmares ever since. (Oh, and Jenny eats a lot of fiber and clogs up toilets all across our vast nation, so if you hang with her, bring a plunger. This is discussed many times, is a favored callback)
We also get a ditty about a backstage encounter with members of NIN and the Marilyn Manson band and a groupie that is disgusting, yet absolutely, positively tracks.
Anyhoo, this is the deal and you're welcome to have at it. Just be prepared. It got me revved up enough to write a review years after it was published, no less, so there's that. For me, it was the perfect summer hate-read. (And I must admit, there are times when I actually enjoy a good hate-read!)