Not one of Laymon's better efforts for sure. Given the cover and the blurb, one would guess this would be a pulpy vampire story, and while a supposed vampire does play a small role, the tale really comes down to one of Laymon's most typical tropes-- questionable characters making dubious decisions repeatedly. Sometimes this works, sometimes it just feels old and lacking imagination like in Bite. Plus, we have another typical Laymon trope at work here-- a sexually obsessed guy constantly drooling over women, and I mean constantly. More on this in a bit.
Our main protagonists, Sam and Cat, were friends in high school until Cat moved away to Seattle. Friends is perhaps not the best word, as basically, Sam was obsessed with Cat, writing her bad poetry and thinking about her all the time. Perhaps a generous reader may deem this just teen infatuation, but Sam is now 26 and _still_ obsessed with Cat. Anyway, one day Sam is just hanging out at home when Cat stops by, dressed in a flimsy nightgown and asking for help, so of course Sam agrees. Cat's problem, however, involves a vampire who has been sexually tormenting her and sucking her blood for about a year now and she is fed up (Cat has lots of brutal, graphic sexual escapades to share, and does so often here later in the story, but I will skip those). I will also skip how this state of affairs came to be, but is her vampire really a vampire? He seems human but wears stainless steel fangs that he can take on or off. Yes, he has bitten her repeatedly and sucked her blood, but is he really a vampire? Taking no chances, Sam and Cat devise a plot where Same will run from a closet and pound a stake in the guy's heart while he is screwing Cat. Of course, things do not work out to plan, but in the end, they stake the guy. Now what to do? They decide to take the body out into the desert somewhere (the story is set in Southern California) and bury it...
If you have ever read Laymon, you know things never go as planned for the protagonists, and this is no exception. Cruising through the desert late at night they have a blow-out (or was the tire shot out?) and end up off the road in the desert. After changing the tire, they set off into the desert as the embankment to the highway is too high for their car; after a while, they meet some guy, a biker named 'Snow White' who claims someone shot his hog and he is also stranded. You know this is not going to end well, but this is Laymon after all.
Enough on the plot. Laymon can write very well and is famous for his intricate plotting. Unfortunately, the dialogue between Sam and Cal is lame and the plot twists and turns you can see from miles away. Further, Sam is an unbelievable leach. Would anyone, driving down a highway with a dead body in the trunk of your car keep loosing attention to the road to take peaks at someone's breast peaking out of her shirt? In numerous deadly situations, Sam just can't help but obsess over Cal's body, especially her breasts. This type of character is featured in many works by Laymon, but it seldom works for me. I mean, Laymon writes a lot of sleaze, which can be enjoyable, but the adult males constantly obsessed over even a hint to breast wobble or whatnot gets old fast. Finally, Laymon needed more words to describe nipples as they are described in great detail over and over here. Sometimes, Laymon puts together a great story; other times, he strikes out hard. He barely got to first base here. 1.5 stars, rounding up (RIP Laymon!).