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QI: Advanced Banter
A really good quotation book - one which gathered the truest and funniest insights of the best minds, and organised them into more than 400 subjects fro ambition to worry (or from artichokes to windows) - a book which offered you a useful take on almost every situation life throws at you (from the death of your child's hamster to the unified theory of everything), a sourcebook of wise one-liners, of knock-out jokes, of droll asides and heartfelt statements of truth and beauty, a practical handbook of interestingness, well, THAT would be worth having. And guess what? Those thoughtful gentlemen at QI have come up with one.
As well as the quotes themselves, there is a Prologue from the Bantermeister himself, Mr Stephen Fry, and lots of quite interesting background information on the people quoted (and misquoted). Six years of learning how to avoid the dull stuff have left the QI team in a uniquely good position to deliver this elusive holy grail: the big, useful, funny, and really very good book of quotations.
As well as the quotes themselves, there is a Prologue from the Bantermeister himself, Mr Stephen Fry, and lots of quite interesting background information on the people quoted (and misquoted). Six years of learning how to avoid the dull stuff have left the QI team in a uniquely good position to deliver this elusive holy grail: the big, useful, funny, and really very good book of quotations.
451 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2008
100 people are currently reading
1223 people want to read
About the author
John Lloyd
227 books139 followersJohn Hardress Wilfred Lloyd is an English television and radio comedy producer and writer. His television work includes Not the Nine O'Clock News, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Spitting Image, Blackadder and QI. He is currently the presenter of BBC Radio 4's The Museum of Curiosity.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
November 29, 2010
Not just the usual suspects, this anthology of quotes is thoughtful, surprising, and, despite its brevity, remarkably rich and wide-ranging in its selections. The title quote, for example, is by Victor Cousins, a 19th century French philosopher—three surprises there: time, nationality and occupation. Really? A French philosopher from the 19th century with a 20th or 21st century stand up comedian’s deadpan humor? The editors toss in some mini commentaries on selected contributors, helpful, ironic, or just amusing. About Tony Petito who said, “In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present,” they write: “Listed everywhere against this one quote, with no other details provided, he might be an arts administrator in New Jersey, the founding artistic director of Singapore Repertory Theater, or a singer in an a cappela group on Long Island.” One never knows, do one? Other opportunities to assist are left untouched. There is no note, for example, regarding whom Robert Schumann was lauding with “Hats off, gentlemen, a genius!” Was it himself or someone else? It means something different. When Fats Waller says of Art Tatum, “Ladies and gentlemen, I play piano but God is in the house” much is said of both Mr. Tatum and Mr. Waller. (Thanks to the miracle of Google, Schumann was referring to Chopin.)
Philosophers, writers, comedians, politicians, artists, scientists, musicians, and many near anonymous and anonymous folks are included here. Other than making sure that as many of former President Bush (W.) linguistic embarrassments are captured, there seems no agenda to the compilation. It mixes the inspirational with the cynical, the profound with the ridiculous (an obscenely funny quote from Steve Martin about mothballs), the witty and the foolish, the self-deprecating with the bombastic. Some random favorites: “Facing it, always facing it, that’s the way to get through. Face it.” (Joseph Conrad) “We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” (W.H. Auden) “I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.” (Calvin Coolidge) “These are my principles and if you don’t like them…well, I’ve got others.” (Groucho Marx) “The future is made of the same stuff as the present.” (Simone Weill) “There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything you know.” (Roger H. Lincoln) Emerson, Goethe, Joubert, the Greeks, Einstein (and Mrs. Einstein), Thurber, Wilde, King, Gandhi, Churchill and all the others are here. So too is Stephen Wright and, alas, Jack Handey, one surreally funny and the other so really not.
Unlike many quote books that are useful reference works, offering browsing pleasures, this one is enjoyable to read straight through because of the editors’ fondness for humor and because the arranging of quotes by theme and the sequencing of them within themes frequently results in an almost narrative flow. There are some errors here and there: a quote about trees (by Willa Cather) is uncredited; Getrude Stein is said to have been from Oak Park, Illinois, where Hemingway hailed from but not Stein; one or two contributors didn’t make it into the index, but minor stuff in a book that is major pleasure.
Philosophers, writers, comedians, politicians, artists, scientists, musicians, and many near anonymous and anonymous folks are included here. Other than making sure that as many of former President Bush (W.) linguistic embarrassments are captured, there seems no agenda to the compilation. It mixes the inspirational with the cynical, the profound with the ridiculous (an obscenely funny quote from Steve Martin about mothballs), the witty and the foolish, the self-deprecating with the bombastic. Some random favorites: “Facing it, always facing it, that’s the way to get through. Face it.” (Joseph Conrad) “We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” (W.H. Auden) “I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.” (Calvin Coolidge) “These are my principles and if you don’t like them…well, I’ve got others.” (Groucho Marx) “The future is made of the same stuff as the present.” (Simone Weill) “There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything you know.” (Roger H. Lincoln) Emerson, Goethe, Joubert, the Greeks, Einstein (and Mrs. Einstein), Thurber, Wilde, King, Gandhi, Churchill and all the others are here. So too is Stephen Wright and, alas, Jack Handey, one surreally funny and the other so really not.
Unlike many quote books that are useful reference works, offering browsing pleasures, this one is enjoyable to read straight through because of the editors’ fondness for humor and because the arranging of quotes by theme and the sequencing of them within themes frequently results in an almost narrative flow. There are some errors here and there: a quote about trees (by Willa Cather) is uncredited; Getrude Stein is said to have been from Oak Park, Illinois, where Hemingway hailed from but not Stein; one or two contributors didn’t make it into the index, but minor stuff in a book that is major pleasure.
December 16, 2008
This is a perfectly respectable collection of quotations. Anyone expecting it to live up to the sheer brilliance of the Q.I. television show will be disappointed, however. Their sales pitch is that it is a cut above all other such collections (they don't explicitly say "because we're smarter", but that's obviously what they mean).
It's not. There are some gems, some duds among the quotations. But here is an example of where they follow the Q.I. pattern (which is to avoid the standard, expected answer, in favor of something more esoteric and interesting). Under the index heading "daffodils" there are five quotations. But - because they're all sophisticated-like, and smarter than your average bear - Wordsworth is never mentioned.
Why do I feel the entire "daffodils" section was constructed and inserted to make exactly that point. Why does any book of quotations need five entries for "daffodil"?
It's not a bad book, but it's not a particularly good one either. But you should still seek out the Q.I. shows on YouTube. Most are awesome.
It's not. There are some gems, some duds among the quotations. But here is an example of where they follow the Q.I. pattern (which is to avoid the standard, expected answer, in favor of something more esoteric and interesting). Under the index heading "daffodils" there are five quotations. But - because they're all sophisticated-like, and smarter than your average bear - Wordsworth is never mentioned.
Why do I feel the entire "daffodils" section was constructed and inserted to make exactly that point. Why does any book of quotations need five entries for "daffodil"?
It's not a bad book, but it's not a particularly good one either. But you should still seek out the Q.I. shows on YouTube. Most are awesome.
August 27, 2010
Quotes to remember:
Think like a man of action; act like a man of thought. Henri Bergson
Introducing 'Lite' - The new way to spell 'light' but with 20% fewer letters. Jerry Seinfeld
Inside every old woman is a young girl wondering what the hell happened. Cora Harvey Armstrong
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. Phyllis Diller
America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair. Arnold Toynbee
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha
The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm but because of those who look at it without doing anything. Albert Einstein
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance. Robert Quillen
I shut my eyes in order to see. Paul Gauguin
Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. Twyla Tharp
To send light into the darkness of men's hearts - such is the duty of the artist. Robert Schumann
If there were no God, there would be no atheists. GK Chesterton
The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention. Julia Margaret Cameron
Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are. Jose Ortega Y Gasset
All art is autobiographical; the pearl is the oyster's autobiography. Federico Fellini (I replace 'art' for 'children' to appreciate this quote. My children are my autobiography.)
Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. Gwyneth Paltrow
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God's final decision on where your lips end. Jerry Seinfeld
There's nothing that can help you understand you own beliefs better than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. Frank Clark
The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones. Joseph Joubert
The covers of this book are too far apart. Ambrose Bierce
Entertainment is, in fact, the biggest cause of boredom in the modern world. The more a man is entertained, the more bored he grows. Anthony Daniels
Beware the barrenness of a busy life. Socrates
They intoxicate themselves with work so they won't see how they really are. Aldous Huxley
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. Richard Bach
When I'm in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like. Jane Fonda
1000's of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Buddha
Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning. William A Ward
Character is destiny. Heraclitus
He that will have his son have a respect for him and his orders, must himself have a great reverence for his son. John Locke
Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. Judith Viorst
What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. Katharine Hepburn
A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Abraham Lincoln
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. Peter Ustinov
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world, the humorist makes fun of himself. James Thurber
The whole object of comedy is to be yourself, and the closer you to to that, the funnier you will be. Jerry Seinfeld
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth. George Bernard Shaw
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. Anais Nin
Leap, and the net will appear. Julia Margaret Cameron
Facing it, always facing it, that's the way to get through. Face it. Joseph Conrad
It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy. James Thurber
Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic. Jean Sibelius
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein
People die when curiosity goes. Graham Swift.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. George Bernard Shaw
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, "Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep." Joan Rivers
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. Oscar Wilde
To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. Will Durant
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. Will Rogers
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Robin Williams
A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there's less of you. Margaret Atwood.
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. Aldous Huxley
Men love with their eyes; women love with their ears. Zsa Zsa Gabor
Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing; education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. Will Durant
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorry and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Enthusiasm is not contrary to reason. It is reason - on fire. Peter Marshall
Regarding exercise....I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street. Neil Armstrong
My idea of exercise is a good, brisk sit. Phyllis Diller
The sum of the whole is this; walk and be happy; walk and be healthy. Charles Dickens
Solvitur ambulando. It is solved by walking. Latin Proverb
One's eyes are what one is; one's mouth what one becomes. John Galsworthy
Failure is the key to success. Each mistake teaches us something. Morihei Ueshiba (founded Aikido)
Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear which is inherent in a human situation. Graham Greene
People living deeply have no fear of death. Anais Nin
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. Steven Wright
You know you have forgiven someone when he or she has harmless passage through your mind. Karyl Huntley
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Aristotle
Habit is overcome by habit. Thomas A Kempis
Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. Roy Goodman
Happiness is a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our graps, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. Nathaniel Hawthorne
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Gandhi
No man can enter Heaven until he is first convinced he deserves Hell. John W Everett
I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest, "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" "No," said the priest, "not if you did not know." "Then why," asked the Eskimo, "did you tell me?" Annie Dillard
If you are going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill
People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty. Richard J Neeham
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel
Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent. Mignon McLaughlin
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey. Stephen Covey
There may be said to be two classes of people in the world: those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not. Robert Benchley
Strong people have strong weaknesses. Peter Drucker
You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will way at his parents every time around - and why the p0arents will always wave back. Bill Tammeus
You are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead
Humble men...see something divine in every other man and are endlessly, foolishly, incredibly merciful. John Ruskin
Humility is the mother of giants. One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the peak. GK Chesterton
Humility is attentive patience. Simone Weil
Unmitigated seriousness is always out of place in human affairs. Let not the unwary reader think me flippant for saying so; it was Plato, in his solemn old age, who said it. George Santayana
Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them and pretty soon you have a dozen of them. John Steinbeck
No man thinks there is much ado about nothing when the ado is about himself. Anthony Trollope
There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity. Tom Peters
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. Bertrand Russell
There never was yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy and a tragedy. Mark Twain
Prior to the Internet, the last technology that had any real effect on the way people sat down and talked together was the table. Clay Shirky
...the big money was never made in the buying or the selling. The big money was made in the waiting. Jesse Livermore
Joy is the simplest form of gratitude. Karl Barth
We would never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. Helen Keller
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Plato
Always be a little kinder than necessary. JM Barrie
He that is kind is free, though he is a slave; he that is evil is a slave, though he be a king. St. Augustine
If you can't be kind, at least be vague. Judith Martin (Miss Manners)
To know that you do not know is best. To pretend to know when you do not know is disease. Laozi
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. Alfred, Lord Tennyson
I am not young enough to know everything. Blaise Pascal
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. Robert Benchley
Status quo, you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in'. Ronald Reagan
The human race has only one effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain.
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. WH Auden
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. Michael Pritchard
The function of leadership is to produce more leaders not more followers. Ralph Nader
No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it. Andrew Carnegie
A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting. A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group. Russell H Ewing
There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent. Michel De Montaigne
Life is a public performance on the violin, in which you must learn the instrument as you go along. EM Forster
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. Robert Frost
Prejudice comes from being in the dark; sunlight disinfects it. Muhammad Ali
Be a good listener. Unlike our mouth, your ears will never get you in trouble. Frank Tyger
The first duty of love is to listen. Paul Tillich
Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life. Seneca
To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top. Robert Pirsig
May you live every day of your life. Jonathan Swift
It's not the length of life, but the depth of life. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Try to be one of the people on whom nothing is lost. Henry James
Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes of playing a poor hand well. Robert Louis Stevenson
For a long time it has seemed to me that life was about to begin - Real Life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid - then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. Alfred D'Souza
My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I got to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can. Cary Grant
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. Lord Dunsany
Love will draw an elephant through a key-hold. Samuel Richardson
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. Erich Fromm
You do not have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. He's more particular. Robert Frost
Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I find the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Thomas Jefferson
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
I don't suffer from insanity but enjoy every minute of it. Edgar Allan Poe
God gave us memories so that we might enjoy roses in December. JM Barrie
Those who receive with most pains and difficulty remember best; every one ting they learn being, as it were, burnt and branded on their minds. Plutarch
Be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you will never, ever get it out. Cardinal Wolsey
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as thought nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein
Pain and suffering are inevitable in our lives, but misery is an option. Chip Beck
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Spike Milligan
She who forms the souls of the young is greater than any painter or sculptor. Saint John Chrysostom
Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother. Moroccan Proverb
My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of church-going. Aldous Huxley
Wat do you get when you play country music backwards? You get your girl back, your dog back, your pick-up back, and you stop drinking. Louis Saaberda
Nobody realises that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. Albert Camus
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. Joe Ancis
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving evidence of the fact. George Eliot
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. Will Durant
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. Ed Gardner
People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Painting is silent poetry, and poetry is painting that speaks. Simonides
Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. Henry Ward Beecher
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you. Peter De Vries
Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze. Garrison Keillor
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in quiet. Bill Cosby
Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience. Ralp Waldo Emerson
Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits. Thomas Edison
If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Chinese Proverb
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. George Orwell
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a 1000 miles from the corn field. Dwight D. Eisenhower
I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. Mother Teresa
Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. Albert Schweitzer
There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker. Charles M Schulz
The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera. Dorothea Lange
One should photograph objects, not only for what they are, but for what else they are. Minor White
Play is the highest form of research. Albert Einstein
The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. Arnold Toynbee
We do not cease to play because we grow old. We grow old because we cease to play. George Bernard Shaw
Nothing gives an author so much pleasure as to find his works respectfully quoted by other learned authors. Ben Franklin
A poet is someone who stands outside in the rain hoping to be struck by lightning. James Dickey
A poet looks at the world the way a man looks at a woman. Wallace Stevens
It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged. GK Chesterton
Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair. George Burns
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can let alone. Henry David Thoreau
You possess only whatever will not be lost in a shipwreck. El-Ghazali
What I say is that, if a fellow really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow. AA Milne
In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. Gandhi
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. Thomas Jefferson
Think like a man of action; act like a man of thought. Henri Bergson
Introducing 'Lite' - The new way to spell 'light' but with 20% fewer letters. Jerry Seinfeld
Inside every old woman is a young girl wondering what the hell happened. Cora Harvey Armstrong
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. Phyllis Diller
America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair. Arnold Toynbee
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha
The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm but because of those who look at it without doing anything. Albert Einstein
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance. Robert Quillen
I shut my eyes in order to see. Paul Gauguin
Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. Twyla Tharp
To send light into the darkness of men's hearts - such is the duty of the artist. Robert Schumann
If there were no God, there would be no atheists. GK Chesterton
The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention. Julia Margaret Cameron
Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are. Jose Ortega Y Gasset
All art is autobiographical; the pearl is the oyster's autobiography. Federico Fellini (I replace 'art' for 'children' to appreciate this quote. My children are my autobiography.)
Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. Gwyneth Paltrow
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God's final decision on where your lips end. Jerry Seinfeld
There's nothing that can help you understand you own beliefs better than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. Frank Clark
The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones. Joseph Joubert
The covers of this book are too far apart. Ambrose Bierce
Entertainment is, in fact, the biggest cause of boredom in the modern world. The more a man is entertained, the more bored he grows. Anthony Daniels
Beware the barrenness of a busy life. Socrates
They intoxicate themselves with work so they won't see how they really are. Aldous Huxley
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. Richard Bach
When I'm in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like. Jane Fonda
1000's of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Buddha
Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning. William A Ward
Character is destiny. Heraclitus
He that will have his son have a respect for him and his orders, must himself have a great reverence for his son. John Locke
Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. Judith Viorst
What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. Katharine Hepburn
A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Abraham Lincoln
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. Peter Ustinov
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world, the humorist makes fun of himself. James Thurber
The whole object of comedy is to be yourself, and the closer you to to that, the funnier you will be. Jerry Seinfeld
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth. George Bernard Shaw
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. Anais Nin
Leap, and the net will appear. Julia Margaret Cameron
Facing it, always facing it, that's the way to get through. Face it. Joseph Conrad
It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy. James Thurber
Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic. Jean Sibelius
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein
People die when curiosity goes. Graham Swift.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. George Bernard Shaw
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, "Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep." Joan Rivers
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. Oscar Wilde
To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. Will Durant
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. Will Rogers
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Robin Williams
A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there's less of you. Margaret Atwood.
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. Aldous Huxley
Men love with their eyes; women love with their ears. Zsa Zsa Gabor
Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing; education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. Will Durant
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorry and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Enthusiasm is not contrary to reason. It is reason - on fire. Peter Marshall
Regarding exercise....I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street. Neil Armstrong
My idea of exercise is a good, brisk sit. Phyllis Diller
The sum of the whole is this; walk and be happy; walk and be healthy. Charles Dickens
Solvitur ambulando. It is solved by walking. Latin Proverb
One's eyes are what one is; one's mouth what one becomes. John Galsworthy
Failure is the key to success. Each mistake teaches us something. Morihei Ueshiba (founded Aikido)
Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear which is inherent in a human situation. Graham Greene
People living deeply have no fear of death. Anais Nin
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. Steven Wright
You know you have forgiven someone when he or she has harmless passage through your mind. Karyl Huntley
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Aristotle
Habit is overcome by habit. Thomas A Kempis
Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. Roy Goodman
Happiness is a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our graps, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. Nathaniel Hawthorne
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Gandhi
No man can enter Heaven until he is first convinced he deserves Hell. John W Everett
I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest, "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" "No," said the priest, "not if you did not know." "Then why," asked the Eskimo, "did you tell me?" Annie Dillard
If you are going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill
People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty. Richard J Neeham
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel
Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent. Mignon McLaughlin
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey. Stephen Covey
There may be said to be two classes of people in the world: those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not. Robert Benchley
Strong people have strong weaknesses. Peter Drucker
You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will way at his parents every time around - and why the p0arents will always wave back. Bill Tammeus
You are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead
Humble men...see something divine in every other man and are endlessly, foolishly, incredibly merciful. John Ruskin
Humility is the mother of giants. One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the peak. GK Chesterton
Humility is attentive patience. Simone Weil
Unmitigated seriousness is always out of place in human affairs. Let not the unwary reader think me flippant for saying so; it was Plato, in his solemn old age, who said it. George Santayana
Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them and pretty soon you have a dozen of them. John Steinbeck
No man thinks there is much ado about nothing when the ado is about himself. Anthony Trollope
There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity. Tom Peters
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. Bertrand Russell
There never was yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy and a tragedy. Mark Twain
Prior to the Internet, the last technology that had any real effect on the way people sat down and talked together was the table. Clay Shirky
...the big money was never made in the buying or the selling. The big money was made in the waiting. Jesse Livermore
Joy is the simplest form of gratitude. Karl Barth
We would never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. Helen Keller
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Plato
Always be a little kinder than necessary. JM Barrie
He that is kind is free, though he is a slave; he that is evil is a slave, though he be a king. St. Augustine
If you can't be kind, at least be vague. Judith Martin (Miss Manners)
To know that you do not know is best. To pretend to know when you do not know is disease. Laozi
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. Alfred, Lord Tennyson
I am not young enough to know everything. Blaise Pascal
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. Robert Benchley
Status quo, you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in'. Ronald Reagan
The human race has only one effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain.
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. WH Auden
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. Michael Pritchard
The function of leadership is to produce more leaders not more followers. Ralph Nader
No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it. Andrew Carnegie
A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting. A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group. Russell H Ewing
There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent. Michel De Montaigne
Life is a public performance on the violin, in which you must learn the instrument as you go along. EM Forster
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. Robert Frost
Prejudice comes from being in the dark; sunlight disinfects it. Muhammad Ali
Be a good listener. Unlike our mouth, your ears will never get you in trouble. Frank Tyger
The first duty of love is to listen. Paul Tillich
Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life. Seneca
To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top. Robert Pirsig
May you live every day of your life. Jonathan Swift
It's not the length of life, but the depth of life. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Try to be one of the people on whom nothing is lost. Henry James
Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes of playing a poor hand well. Robert Louis Stevenson
For a long time it has seemed to me that life was about to begin - Real Life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid - then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. Alfred D'Souza
My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I got to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can. Cary Grant
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. Lord Dunsany
Love will draw an elephant through a key-hold. Samuel Richardson
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. Erich Fromm
You do not have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. He's more particular. Robert Frost
Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I find the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Thomas Jefferson
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
I don't suffer from insanity but enjoy every minute of it. Edgar Allan Poe
God gave us memories so that we might enjoy roses in December. JM Barrie
Those who receive with most pains and difficulty remember best; every one ting they learn being, as it were, burnt and branded on their minds. Plutarch
Be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you will never, ever get it out. Cardinal Wolsey
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as thought nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein
Pain and suffering are inevitable in our lives, but misery is an option. Chip Beck
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Spike Milligan
She who forms the souls of the young is greater than any painter or sculptor. Saint John Chrysostom
Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother. Moroccan Proverb
My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of church-going. Aldous Huxley
Wat do you get when you play country music backwards? You get your girl back, your dog back, your pick-up back, and you stop drinking. Louis Saaberda
Nobody realises that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. Albert Camus
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. Joe Ancis
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving evidence of the fact. George Eliot
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. Will Durant
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. Ed Gardner
People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Painting is silent poetry, and poetry is painting that speaks. Simonides
Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. Henry Ward Beecher
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you. Peter De Vries
Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze. Garrison Keillor
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in quiet. Bill Cosby
Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience. Ralp Waldo Emerson
Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits. Thomas Edison
If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Chinese Proverb
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. George Orwell
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a 1000 miles from the corn field. Dwight D. Eisenhower
I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. Mother Teresa
Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. Albert Schweitzer
There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker. Charles M Schulz
The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera. Dorothea Lange
One should photograph objects, not only for what they are, but for what else they are. Minor White
Play is the highest form of research. Albert Einstein
The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. Arnold Toynbee
We do not cease to play because we grow old. We grow old because we cease to play. George Bernard Shaw
Nothing gives an author so much pleasure as to find his works respectfully quoted by other learned authors. Ben Franklin
A poet is someone who stands outside in the rain hoping to be struck by lightning. James Dickey
A poet looks at the world the way a man looks at a woman. Wallace Stevens
It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged. GK Chesterton
Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair. George Burns
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can let alone. Henry David Thoreau
You possess only whatever will not be lost in a shipwreck. El-Ghazali
What I say is that, if a fellow really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow. AA Milne
In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. Gandhi
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. Thomas Jefferson
September 15, 2025
The book's title initially drew me in, but upon closer inspection, it revealed itself to be a commonplace collection of quotes categorized by theme. Although it was not a bad book, it was not exceptionally good either. However, it served as a welcome diversion from some of the weightier texts I have encountered.
June 25, 2010
"Ninety percent of politicians give the other ten percent a bad name."
"Someone has tabulated that we have thirty-five million laws on the books to enforce the Ten Commandments."
"For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe."
"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to
me."
"Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new."
"That which has been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false."
"Let the people think they govern, and they will be governed."
"Life is tough. Three out of three people die, so shut up and deal."
"Someone has tabulated that we have thirty-five million laws on the books to enforce the Ten Commandments."
"For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe."
"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to
me."
"Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new."
"That which has been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false."
"Let the people think they govern, and they will be governed."
"Life is tough. Three out of three people die, so shut up and deal."
May 24, 2014
This is very much a book for dipping in and out of and not something you'd want to try to read all the way through from front to back as it's just a list of quotations arranged under subject headings. There are some familiar ones in here, but I found that there were more than enough quotations that were new to me to make for an entertaining and sometimes enlightening experience.
August 27, 2010
It is in the whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom; indeed, they create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually. It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn. M. Scott Peck
When you worry, you go over the same ground endlessly and come out the same place you started. Thinking make progress from one place to another; worry remains static. The problem of life is to change worry into thinking and anxiety into creative action. Harold B Walker
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived. Thomas Merton
A man learns to skate by staggering about making a fool of himself; indeed, he progresses in all things by making a fool of himself. George Bernard Shaw
Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience. Miguel De Cervantes
Quality means doing it right when no one is looking. Henry Ford
It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question. Eugene Ionesco
You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. Naguib Mahfouz
The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let is rain. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. PJ O'Rourke
We are all captives of the picture in our head - our belief that the world we have experienced is the world that really exists.
Reason is the shepherd trying to corral life's vast flock of wild irrationalities. Paul Eldridge
Put you hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it. Abe Lincoln
True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. Louis Nizer
When you go out to seek revenge, dig two graves. Chinese Proverb
To refrain from imitation is the best revenge. Marcus Aurelius
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Josh Billings
There is the risk you cannot afford to take; there is the risk you cannot afford not to take. Peter Drucker
What you risk reveals what you value. Jeanette Winterson
Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is. Will Rogers
Four Rules for Life. Show up. Pay attention. Tell the truth. DOn't be attached to the results. Angeles Arrien
We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are. Herb Cohen
I shut my eyes in order to see. Paul Gauguin
The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something and tell what it saw in a plain way. Hundreds of people can talk for one who can think, but thousands can think for one who can see. To see clearly is poetry, prophecy and religion on in one. John Ruskin
The fool sees not the same tree the wise man sees. William Blake
It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision. Helen Keller
The whole object of comedy is to be yourself, and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be. Jerry Seinfeld
I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man. Dwight L Moody
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle. Lewis Carroll
Finding out who you are is the first step. Accepting who you are can be the hard part. Enhancing who you are is the fun part. B'Anne Younker
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise. Laozi
He who lives in harmony with himself, lives in harmony with the Universe. Marcus Aurelius
You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. Steve Martin
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes Benz 500 SL. Lynn Lavner
The big differences between sex for money and sex for free is sex for money usually costs a lot less. Brendan Behan
And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? They're cloning sheep. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that look more alike than they already do. Thanks a lot, Scientific Community! Dave Barry
The Arctic expresses the sum of all wisdom: silence. Walter Bauer
Above all, keep it simple. Auguste Escoffier
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Leonardo DaVinci
The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn't simple. Doris Janzen Langacre
The Seven Deadly Sins are: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Business without morality, Science without humanity. Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principle. Gandhi
Everything that used to be sin is now a disease. Bill Maher
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito. Betty Reese
Enjoy the little things, for one day yu may look back and realize there were the big things. Robert Brault
Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. Swedish Proverb
I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart. Steve Martin
Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone. Paul Tillich
Be sincere; be brief; be seated. Franklin D Roosevelt
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then have the two as close together as possible. George Burns
There is more to life than increasing its speed. Gandhi
Don't look for speed in a cheap horse; be content if it neighs. Hausa Proverb
People forget how fast you did a job, but they remember how well you did it. General George S Patton
Be not afraid of going slowly but only afraid of standing still. Chinese Proverb
Set your course by the stars, not be the lights of every passing ship. Gen. Omar Bradley
When it is darkest, men see the stars. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everything is held together with stories. That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion. Barry Lopez
SUccess is 99% failure. Soichiro Honda
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill
The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. Gen Joseph Stilwell
It is only at the tree loaded with fruit that people throw stones. French Proverb
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. Gen George S Patton
Only through suffering can we find ourselves. Fyodor Dostoevsky
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. Mother Teresa
In spite of all one hears to the contrary, the act of suicide requires a certain courage of conviction or despair of which few persons are capable. Pearl Buck
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember: it didn't work for the rabbit. RE Shay
The wonder is that we can see these trees and not wonder more. Ralph Waldo Emerson
For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold or silver. Martin Luther
Trees are much like human beings and enjoy each other's company. Only a few love to be alone. Jens Jensen
The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing which stands in the way. As a man is, so he sees. William Blake
The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, the second best time is now. Chinese Proverb
The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn. Ralph Waldo Emerson
The axe forgets what the tree remembers. American Proverb
No tree falls on the first stroke. German Proverb
When the axe came into the forest the trees all said, Well, at least the handle is one of us." Turkish Proverb
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names streets after them. Bill Vaughan
I love trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do. Willa Cather
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Carl Jung
Search others for their virtue, and yourself for your vices. Buckminster Fuller
I have found that the best way to get another to acquire a virtue, is to impute it to him. Winston Churchill
Wealthy is like sea-water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become. Arthur Schopenhauer
I will tell you the secret to getting rich on Wall Street. You try to be greedy when others are fearful. And you try to be fearful when others are greedy. Warren Buffet
To suppose, as we all suppose, that we could be rich and not behave as the rich behave, is like supposing that we could drink all day and keep absolutely sober. Logan Pearsall Smith
There is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing. Sir Ranulph Fiennes
Don't knock the weather; 9/10 of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. Frank 'Kin' Hubbard
What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered. Ralph Waldo Emerson
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. Henry Ford
Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it. Winston Churchill
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Wine is bottled poetry. Robert Louis Stevenson
Those who love wisdom must investigate many things Heraclitus
Wisdom comes by disillusionment. Gearge Santayana
True wisdom is less preseuming than folly. The wise man doubteht often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance. Akhenaten
We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. Marcel Proust
Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much, wisdom is humble that he knows no more. William Cowper
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say, and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which doesn't not bow before children. Kahlil Gibran
A woman is like a tea bag. It's only when she's in hot water that you realize how strong she is. Nancy Reagan
One can, to an almost laughable degree, infer what a man's wife is like from his opinions about women in general. John Stuart Mill
No man who is concerned in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it well, ever loses his self-respect. George Bernard Shaw
How vain it is to sit down to write, when you have not stood up to live! Henry David Thoreau
The best kind of writing, and the biggest thrill in writing, is to suddenly read a line from your typewriter that you didn't know was in you. Larry L King
When we encounter a natural style we are always surprised and delighted, for we thought to see an author and found a man. Blaise Pascal
When you worry, you go over the same ground endlessly and come out the same place you started. Thinking make progress from one place to another; worry remains static. The problem of life is to change worry into thinking and anxiety into creative action. Harold B Walker
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived. Thomas Merton
A man learns to skate by staggering about making a fool of himself; indeed, he progresses in all things by making a fool of himself. George Bernard Shaw
Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience. Miguel De Cervantes
Quality means doing it right when no one is looking. Henry Ford
It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question. Eugene Ionesco
You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. Naguib Mahfouz
The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let is rain. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. PJ O'Rourke
We are all captives of the picture in our head - our belief that the world we have experienced is the world that really exists.
Reason is the shepherd trying to corral life's vast flock of wild irrationalities. Paul Eldridge
Put you hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it. Abe Lincoln
True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. Louis Nizer
When you go out to seek revenge, dig two graves. Chinese Proverb
To refrain from imitation is the best revenge. Marcus Aurelius
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Josh Billings
There is the risk you cannot afford to take; there is the risk you cannot afford not to take. Peter Drucker
What you risk reveals what you value. Jeanette Winterson
Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is. Will Rogers
Four Rules for Life. Show up. Pay attention. Tell the truth. DOn't be attached to the results. Angeles Arrien
We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are. Herb Cohen
I shut my eyes in order to see. Paul Gauguin
The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something and tell what it saw in a plain way. Hundreds of people can talk for one who can think, but thousands can think for one who can see. To see clearly is poetry, prophecy and religion on in one. John Ruskin
The fool sees not the same tree the wise man sees. William Blake
It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision. Helen Keller
The whole object of comedy is to be yourself, and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be. Jerry Seinfeld
I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man. Dwight L Moody
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle. Lewis Carroll
Finding out who you are is the first step. Accepting who you are can be the hard part. Enhancing who you are is the fun part. B'Anne Younker
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise. Laozi
He who lives in harmony with himself, lives in harmony with the Universe. Marcus Aurelius
You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. Steve Martin
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes Benz 500 SL. Lynn Lavner
The big differences between sex for money and sex for free is sex for money usually costs a lot less. Brendan Behan
And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? They're cloning sheep. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that look more alike than they already do. Thanks a lot, Scientific Community! Dave Barry
The Arctic expresses the sum of all wisdom: silence. Walter Bauer
Above all, keep it simple. Auguste Escoffier
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Leonardo DaVinci
The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn't simple. Doris Janzen Langacre
The Seven Deadly Sins are: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Business without morality, Science without humanity. Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principle. Gandhi
Everything that used to be sin is now a disease. Bill Maher
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito. Betty Reese
Enjoy the little things, for one day yu may look back and realize there were the big things. Robert Brault
Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. Swedish Proverb
I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart. Steve Martin
Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone. Paul Tillich
Be sincere; be brief; be seated. Franklin D Roosevelt
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then have the two as close together as possible. George Burns
There is more to life than increasing its speed. Gandhi
Don't look for speed in a cheap horse; be content if it neighs. Hausa Proverb
People forget how fast you did a job, but they remember how well you did it. General George S Patton
Be not afraid of going slowly but only afraid of standing still. Chinese Proverb
Set your course by the stars, not be the lights of every passing ship. Gen. Omar Bradley
When it is darkest, men see the stars. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everything is held together with stories. That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion. Barry Lopez
SUccess is 99% failure. Soichiro Honda
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill
The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. Gen Joseph Stilwell
It is only at the tree loaded with fruit that people throw stones. French Proverb
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. Gen George S Patton
Only through suffering can we find ourselves. Fyodor Dostoevsky
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. Mother Teresa
In spite of all one hears to the contrary, the act of suicide requires a certain courage of conviction or despair of which few persons are capable. Pearl Buck
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember: it didn't work for the rabbit. RE Shay
The wonder is that we can see these trees and not wonder more. Ralph Waldo Emerson
For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold or silver. Martin Luther
Trees are much like human beings and enjoy each other's company. Only a few love to be alone. Jens Jensen
The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing which stands in the way. As a man is, so he sees. William Blake
The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, the second best time is now. Chinese Proverb
The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn. Ralph Waldo Emerson
The axe forgets what the tree remembers. American Proverb
No tree falls on the first stroke. German Proverb
When the axe came into the forest the trees all said, Well, at least the handle is one of us." Turkish Proverb
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names streets after them. Bill Vaughan
I love trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do. Willa Cather
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Carl Jung
Search others for their virtue, and yourself for your vices. Buckminster Fuller
I have found that the best way to get another to acquire a virtue, is to impute it to him. Winston Churchill
Wealthy is like sea-water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become. Arthur Schopenhauer
I will tell you the secret to getting rich on Wall Street. You try to be greedy when others are fearful. And you try to be fearful when others are greedy. Warren Buffet
To suppose, as we all suppose, that we could be rich and not behave as the rich behave, is like supposing that we could drink all day and keep absolutely sober. Logan Pearsall Smith
There is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing. Sir Ranulph Fiennes
Don't knock the weather; 9/10 of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. Frank 'Kin' Hubbard
What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered. Ralph Waldo Emerson
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. Henry Ford
Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it. Winston Churchill
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Wine is bottled poetry. Robert Louis Stevenson
Those who love wisdom must investigate many things Heraclitus
Wisdom comes by disillusionment. Gearge Santayana
True wisdom is less preseuming than folly. The wise man doubteht often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance. Akhenaten
We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. Marcel Proust
Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much, wisdom is humble that he knows no more. William Cowper
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say, and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which doesn't not bow before children. Kahlil Gibran
A woman is like a tea bag. It's only when she's in hot water that you realize how strong she is. Nancy Reagan
One can, to an almost laughable degree, infer what a man's wife is like from his opinions about women in general. John Stuart Mill
No man who is concerned in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it well, ever loses his self-respect. George Bernard Shaw
How vain it is to sit down to write, when you have not stood up to live! Henry David Thoreau
The best kind of writing, and the biggest thrill in writing, is to suddenly read a line from your typewriter that you didn't know was in you. Larry L King
When we encounter a natural style we are always surprised and delighted, for we thought to see an author and found a man. Blaise Pascal
February 6, 2009
Finally, a book of non-recycled quotations. Even if it increases your carbon footprint, go out and buy it already! You can quote me on that.
April 24, 2012
Nothing unexpected, in a way...just the same cornucopia of unconnected quotes you always get from the QI people. How they find so many without much repetition is itself one of the universe's unsolved mysteries. Yes, it's a book for the toilet...but only in the guest bedroom, so when there are no guests you can sneak in and enjoy it without being disturbed. Excellent.
September 14, 2018
Bought as a gift and very pleased with it - it's an eclectic mix of quotes and general banter from the TV show and more.
Easy to dip into and very entertaining, it covers the usual highbrow areas of classical music, literature and so on but also fetches it into the mainstream with current and recent events and social commentary.
Recommended.
Easy to dip into and very entertaining, it covers the usual highbrow areas of classical music, literature and so on but also fetches it into the mainstream with current and recent events and social commentary.
Recommended.
September 14, 2009
A superior collection of quotes. These two authors have been collecting quotes for more than 10 years and have included the best of the best. I really like the organization which mkaes it easy to use.
January 8, 2019
I have several books of quotations and this one is the most fun; others attempt to have comprehensive collections of bon mots from "quotable people"; this one has many well-known people, but also a few obscure ones who may have had just the right thing to say on some topic.
There is a good range of topics and I found it easier to read cover-to-cover (a few pages at a session) over the course of a month or two than some where the quotations may be a bit too dry for casual reading; included more for authority than wit.
If you are only going to have one book of quotations, and want one where you might actually want to use the quotations in real life conversations, this one is a good one.
And you should have one such book. These short phrases capture many useful ideas in such a powerful turn of phrase that you can't hope to do it yourself. Save that hard work for the few great, original ideas you have and let these skilled wordsmiths deal with the rest.
There is a good range of topics and I found it easier to read cover-to-cover (a few pages at a session) over the course of a month or two than some where the quotations may be a bit too dry for casual reading; included more for authority than wit.
If you are only going to have one book of quotations, and want one where you might actually want to use the quotations in real life conversations, this one is a good one.
And you should have one such book. These short phrases capture many useful ideas in such a powerful turn of phrase that you can't hope to do it yourself. Save that hard work for the few great, original ideas you have and let these skilled wordsmiths deal with the rest.
May 2, 2019
You can never know enough quotes from the likes of Einstein, Bohr, Plato, Buddah etc. A body of wisdom and knowledge in one book. Plus a lot of one-liners from comedians which made me laugh out loud! Dunno’ why some of the quotes appeared twice in different categories!? With all the amazing quotes in the world why waste the space doubling up?? Good to see Pratchett and Hunter S get a look in a coupla’ times; they have booksworths’ of quotes unto themselves! There’s at least a hundred or more quotes in here I will be using when the topic arrives. I ringed the ones I really liked with a pencil, not that I needed to mind you as it’s well organised and indexed for ease of reference, and I’ve already accidentally memorised a whole bunch of them just by the memorable brilliance of them... The QI team are the source of much amazement and learning for me and have been for decades now with their books and TV shows!
August 18, 2018
I was hoping for more useful aphorisms than I collected over a 353 page book. Listed below are some gems of wisdom:
Advertisement is the rich asking for more money. G. K. Chesterton
No one wants advice – – only corroboration. John Steinbeck
Autobiography: an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing. Quentin Crisp
A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain
Beware the barrenness of a busy life. Socrates
Have you ever noticed? Anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. George Carlin
Advertisement is the rich asking for more money. G. K. Chesterton
No one wants advice – – only corroboration. John Steinbeck
Autobiography: an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing. Quentin Crisp
A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain
Beware the barrenness of a busy life. Socrates
Have you ever noticed? Anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. George Carlin
October 31, 2023
This is more of a reference book than a book you would read sequentially, though of course you can do so. I find it fascinating it is a reference work but one for amusement as well. It is superior type of the sort of book that, in my youth (and maybe still now), was found in a pile next to the loo in certain 'jolly' households, the sort that the only time anyone would find time, or peace, to read a book, was in the bathroom.
I find it marvellous for dipping into, a book to have on hand when you have a free moment, and one I wouldn't live without.
I have put as my read date the day I bought it.
I find it marvellous for dipping into, a book to have on hand when you have a free moment, and one I wouldn't live without.
I have put as my read date the day I bought it.
August 19, 2017
I was bored. I wanted something direct and simple. It is a good book of quotes, I think. It just didn't get me. Or maybe I didn't get it. My favorite quote? 'Every society honours its live conformists and its dead troublemakers'. The second probably is 'language is a dialect with an army and navy'. And the third is 'If people do not believe math is simple it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is'. Theres a lot to think and a lot to laugh. Even if you are so bored as I was when I thought about reading this book.
July 31, 2024
I have been reading this, on and off, for 15 years. That's shameful. Today I finally finished it, but my jubilation at this significant achievement was dampened somewhat by buying a birthday balloon for my wife that burst on a metal pole outside Costa mere seconds after it was inflated.
As a book of quotations, it does the job. To use a now-relevant metaphor, it can 'carry the balloon' better than I can, anyway.
As a book of quotations, it does the job. To use a now-relevant metaphor, it can 'carry the balloon' better than I can, anyway.
May 2, 2019
A collection of quotes around themes like writing, cats, thought, women, and then arranged alphabetically. It’s the kind of book you need to dip in and out of when needed, like a dictionary, rather than sit down and read. As I didn’t need to use it as reference, I read a few pages at a time. The lower rating was because I didn’t particularly find many of the quotes that interesting.
September 15, 2021
I've never felt so clever, constantly winning arguments with snappy comebacks and quotations. Without fail, by the time I've taken out the book and browsed through to find an applicable statement, the person has stopped speaking to me and walked away defeated by my superior intellect.
You could say (Hold on a sec....)
You could say (Hold on a sec....)
August 27, 2018
I liked this. A few make you think. Some are just dumb. Nonsense, but that's why you're reading it... it's a time killer. It's entertainment value. Worth setting eyes on. Not a have to have re-read all the time-er, but...
February 12, 2019
Yes, I know I am possibly very nerdish in having read this book from cover to cover. However, having been compiled by two QI elves, it was worth it as it contains many gems that may not have found their way into standard books of quotations.
January 30, 2017
Книга. С цитати. От няколко месеца си я отварям докато правя нещо досадно, като да варя боб. Просто реших да я разкарам от "To read" купчината ми най-накрая.
May 30, 2018
An interesting, well organized and not overwhelming collection of quotes. Very funny and intelligent.
March 3, 2020
Fairly straightforward book of quotations. It was good to see that the authors had researched some of the authors to track down the originals and some of the more obscure sources.
July 8, 2020
An entertaining read. However it was obvious that many of the quotes were deliberately taken out of context.
April 18, 2021
An endless source of joy and enlightenment for me!
January 19, 2022
what is the good of having a nice house without a decent planet to put it on?
HDT
HDT
May 29, 2023
If you like quotes, including some remarkably snarky ones, this is the book for you.
November 8, 2025
Perfect toilet companion
Want to read
December 19, 2025Dewey Decimal 031
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