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'They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach which just goes to show they're as confused about anatomy as they gen'rally are about everything else, unless they're talking about instructions on how to stab him, in which case a better way is up and under the ribcage. Anyway, we do not live in a perfect world and it is foresighted and useful for a young woman to become proficient in those arts which will keep a weak-willed man from straying. Learning to cook is also useful.'
Nanny Ogg, one of Discworld's most famous witches, is passing on some of her huge collection of tasty and above all interesting recipes, since everyone else is doing it. But in addition to the delights of the Strawberry Wobbler and Nobby's Mum's Distressed Pudding, Mrs Ogg imparts her thoughts on life, death, etiquette ('If you go to other people's funerals they'll be sure to come to yours'), courtship, children and weddings, all in a refined style that should not offend the most delicate of sensibilities. Well, not much.
Most of the recipes have been tried out on people who are still alive.
Nanny Ogg Gratefully Ackowledges the Assistance in this Literary Argosy of: Mr Terry Pratchett, Mr Stephen Briggs, Mlle Tina Hannan and Master Paul Kidby.
222 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1999
"At first glance this appears very simple. Nearly everyone you meet is 'undead'. That's why they're called alive. But infact we're talkin' about people who ought to be dead but ain't."
"They're dead, but they wont lie down [. . .] It is not good manners to make cutting remarks like 'Isn't there something you be doing? Like lying down?' and certainly not 'Decompose yourself.' "