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Edward's Twilight: edward's version of twilight
Edward’s Twilight is a wickedly irreverent parody of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight, and is the first and only book to tell Edward’s version of Twilight. Far more faithful to the original story than any other book, Edward’s Twilight is the first true Twilight parody, and is the only book to parody Twilight as written by Stephenie Meyer. Set in the eccentric town of Full Moon, Washington, the alternate universe of Twilight’s Forks, and narrated by Edward Cullen himself in the voice of his alter ego, Edwin Dullen, Edward’s Twilight entertainingly recreates Meyer’s vampire tale as Edwin Dullen and girlfriend Jezebella Penguin perfectly and mercilessly spoof the wacky relationship between Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. Nothing is off limits as Edwin and Jezebella offer witty and critical commentary on Meyer’s characters, writing, and all things Twilight. QUOTES FROM EDWARD’S TWILIGHT “What is she doing? Sniffing her hair? Curses, swearwords, and unholy vexations! She smells it, that putrescent rotting aroma of the dead known in the world of perfumery as the vampire bouquet.” “The sweet fragrance of her blood excited my most base instincts and my most contemptible desires. I would definitely need to see Father Karras for confession.” “That is so much better, Edwin. Things are now as clear as the muddled plot of a teenaged girl-vampire-werewolf love triangle in a dream-induced novel.” “Actually, a lot of people in Full Moon believe the werewolf legend. People have been finding piles of smelly, shredded clothes in the woods for a couple of years now.” “If Stephenie had not written us into that literary blasphemy of hers, we would not be doomed to an existence of endless ridicule and disparagement.” “Have you thought about killing me?” Jezebella asked “In all of vampire history, there has never been a twinkling vampire. That nonsensical idea has set vampirism back at least two thousand years.” “Research? No way,” Jezebella retorted. “I just wrote down some random stuff that I made up.” “If this had not been written into Twilight we would not have had to spoof it and I would have been spared this undignified humiliation.” “You could prick my finger and have a little taste,” Jezebella offered, rubbing a finger lightly over my lips and then easing it into my mouth. “Taking no chances with her safety, we locked Jezebella in a closet upstairs in Argyle’s office with Nosferatu and Barnabas posted as guards for the duration of the tournament.” “An old crone Gypsy fortune teller with a traveling Romanian carnival mysteriously foretold that Jezebella would join me ‘in the fourth book.’ Although this vague prophecy gave me a measure of hope, I was grief-stricken at the thought of suffering through three more volumes of this sleepy literary impersonation.” “I’m sure, Edwin,” she whispered, turning her head to the side and exposing her luscious, quivering neck to me.
154 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 27, 2011
583 people are currently reading
574 people want to read
About the author
Joseph Veillon
1 bookJoseph Veillon (Joe to his friends) grew up in the Cajun country of Louisiana, immersed in the culture of his French and Acadian heritage. He lives in the small town of Kinder, Louisiana, in a house crammed full of books and files of research materials. Joe is a huge fan of science fiction and horror, especially apocalyptic horror and zombies. When he is not writing or planning for the Zombie Apocalypse, Joe enjoys history and science, exploring old abandoned places, fishing, watching videos on YouTube, and sleeping late.
Joe has degrees in Law Enforcement and Nursing, and certification in Biology Education,
but says he learned his most important lessons in the school of real life. Before taking the leap into the world of writing, Joe worked as a street cop and a detective, worked in a hospital emergency room, and taught a college laboratory course in human anatomy. With this experience, to say that Joe has seen his share of weird stuff would be an understatement.
Joe has published one book, Edward’s Twilight, a parody of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. He is currently writing The Reaper Event, a novel about a zombie apocalypse.
Feel free to contact Joe on Goodreads.
Joe has degrees in Law Enforcement and Nursing, and certification in Biology Education,
but says he learned his most important lessons in the school of real life. Before taking the leap into the world of writing, Joe worked as a street cop and a detective, worked in a hospital emergency room, and taught a college laboratory course in human anatomy. With this experience, to say that Joe has seen his share of weird stuff would be an understatement.
Joe has published one book, Edward’s Twilight, a parody of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. He is currently writing The Reaper Event, a novel about a zombie apocalypse.
Feel free to contact Joe on Goodreads.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
January 24, 2018
At first this seemed like a funny parody of Twilight. It was humorous at first then started to drag slower and slower. There were some funny references in here. One of my favorites is when Jezebella says "Edwin, I can only describe what I feel in the sense that I tremble for my beloved. Thinking of you makes my heart quiver and knees wobble. My collective soul yearns for your touch." I thought that was very clever and you'd have to know the Twilight soundtrack to get that.
But overall the story was dull and kind of boring. Edwin Dullen was the name of "Edward". Dullen must've been a sign the story was dull. And the end was lack luster although a twist. Although I will give the author credits when there were jokes and not a floppy plot line which ended up being a total flop, it was funny! And the character's comments toward Twilight were enjoyable but sometimes confusing.
2 stars because you tried and it was funny at times. But to be honest won't read again will sit on my shelve with all my other Twilight things.
But overall the story was dull and kind of boring. Edwin Dullen was the name of "Edward". Dullen must've been a sign the story was dull. And the end was lack luster although a twist. Although I will give the author credits when there were jokes and not a floppy plot line which ended up being a total flop, it was funny! And the character's comments toward Twilight were enjoyable but sometimes confusing.
2 stars because you tried and it was funny at times. But to be honest won't read again will sit on my shelve with all my other Twilight things.
December 1, 2012
If you keep in mind that this is a parody of Twilight, from Edward's point of view, you can't help but enjoy the humor. The author makes fun of everything from Stephanie Meyer's books. It's a treat, if you're looking for a good laugh. This, coming from a fan of both the books and the movies.
June 23, 2013
I did not like this book. I is supposed to be humorous and a twist on the original. But it's not even interesting. Anyone could have done a better job. I think this author is obviously jealous of Edward. His 'jokes' are so corny. I did not read the entire novel and chose to throw this one out. That's what everyone does with garbage.
April 27, 2018
7 “Edward’s Twilight,” by Joseph Veillon, is a hilarious book in the point of view of Edward in Twilight, told by his alter ego Edwin Dullen. Edwin is attracted to the new girl Jezebelle Penguin because of her boring plainess and she smells like tomato juice. He wants to be her friend but is always pushing her away because he’s just “too dangerous”. They avoid each other for weeks then have small conversations ending with the Edwin saying he’s too dangerous to be around and Jezebelle confused and annoyed. They finally manage to become friends and Edwin immediately tells Jezebel that he’s a vampire, which everyone in his vampire clan thinks is a bad idea. They know how stupid it was to tell an immature teenager a big secret like that. Everything turns out alright in the end I love anything that makes fun of Twilight really, I kinda want to read Twilight just to read how bad it is. My dad will watch anything with vampires in it so whenever we go camping one of the movies we always watch is Twilight. It’s really fun to laugh at. This book was good mostly. Some parts were kinda slow and boring and sometimes I didn't really know what was going on. Other than that I really liked it. I think the theme of this book could be have common sense. One of the many things brought up in this book is that the relationship between them is unhealthy and insane. Which is why they need common sense because they should have realized halfway through that this was a bad idea They both don’t have any common sense that’s the point of the book. They will always be role models of what not to do.
August 18, 2019
Read my full review here: https://lifesanovelty.blogspot.com/20...
Opinions: Just to make myself clear, I am NOT writing a review in comparison to Twilight, I am reviewing this as its own book. I will be referencing Twilight a lot as it is a spoof, but the rating I gave it is not in comparison. I have mixed feelings about Edward's Twilight. It was one of the funniest books I've read; I was laughing out loud and giggling on almost every single page. Veillon managed to make fun of every single thing in Twilight; he changed names, allowed the characters to be conscious of their being in a book, and made outright jokes. At the same time, Edward's Twilight had no real plot, just as stupid of characters, and a horrible ending. It was not a real book.
My Favourite Thing: The humour! Edward's Twilight was absolutely hilarious; I was actually laughing out loud. Veillon clearly had Twilight open right next to his computer, as every single thought, action, or event is rewritten in a sarcastic way. I appreciate Veillon's intense effort at creating a spoof of a decent-to-bad book.
My Least Favourite Thing: At the same time, Edward's Twilight was not a real book. There was no plot, the characters were just as bad as in Twilight, and I felt like Veillon got tired and ended the book on the page he was at. I understand that this was meant to be a silly recreation, but with it being lackluster and having no plot, Veillon can be considered (and is, in my taste) hypocritical. You're taking the mickey out of Stephenie Meyer? Why don't you prove your writing skills by not just making fun of her book, but by out-telling her story.
Opinions: Just to make myself clear, I am NOT writing a review in comparison to Twilight, I am reviewing this as its own book. I will be referencing Twilight a lot as it is a spoof, but the rating I gave it is not in comparison. I have mixed feelings about Edward's Twilight. It was one of the funniest books I've read; I was laughing out loud and giggling on almost every single page. Veillon managed to make fun of every single thing in Twilight; he changed names, allowed the characters to be conscious of their being in a book, and made outright jokes. At the same time, Edward's Twilight had no real plot, just as stupid of characters, and a horrible ending. It was not a real book.
My Favourite Thing: The humour! Edward's Twilight was absolutely hilarious; I was actually laughing out loud. Veillon clearly had Twilight open right next to his computer, as every single thought, action, or event is rewritten in a sarcastic way. I appreciate Veillon's intense effort at creating a spoof of a decent-to-bad book.
My Least Favourite Thing: At the same time, Edward's Twilight was not a real book. There was no plot, the characters were just as bad as in Twilight, and I felt like Veillon got tired and ended the book on the page he was at. I understand that this was meant to be a silly recreation, but with it being lackluster and having no plot, Veillon can be considered (and is, in my taste) hypocritical. You're taking the mickey out of Stephenie Meyer? Why don't you prove your writing skills by not just making fun of her book, but by out-telling her story.
October 20, 2022
atrocious
This had to be the biggest waste of two days I ever spent! It was full of repetitive sentences which I know we’re supposed to be part of the humor but fell very short. There were one or two things in the book that I actually laughed at but most of it was so ridiculous an over the top that I felt sorry for the author.
This had to be the biggest waste of two days I ever spent! It was full of repetitive sentences which I know we’re supposed to be part of the humor but fell very short. There were one or two things in the book that I actually laughed at but most of it was so ridiculous an over the top that I felt sorry for the author.
January 14, 2016
I know this is a parody, but due to it being very blatant about being a parody, to the point of being ridiculous, it was hard to read and be able to enjoy. Very unimaginative, silly and an unfortunate waste of my time. I would not recommend this book even to anyone that enjoys satire or spoofs.
June 10, 2013
If I could give a negative star I would, worst book ever
April 1, 2016
not a great book, read because it sounded funny. It did make me laugh and thats what I was looking for. Something funny and entertaining, that I wouldnt get invested in.
July 13, 2017
Nice
It was interesting I recommend this book to friends and family and anyone that likes the twilight series. It was definaly different
It was interesting I recommend this book to friends and family and anyone that likes the twilight series. It was definaly different
November 9, 2025
Actually fun to read. I like all the references to pop culture and jokes
August 3, 2020
I tried to suspend my disbelief in this book because it’s supposed to be a parody, but holy smokes, dude what were you writing?
For starters, stop mentioning everything that they did in Twilight because it’s supposed to be something different. Secondly, don’t make fun of an author for not doing research when you made an error on your own (if Jody’s mother died in the childbirth with his older brother then Jody cannot be alive! That’s not how childbearing works, but I tried to excuse it because you’re a male.)
Oh boy, this book dragged on and I found all the mentioning of the “they did this in the book, they did that in the movie” completely annoying and took away from the experience.
The only reason it got three stars from me was because I’d read this over the stupid parody book where the snowball melted off his back so he must be a vampire. At least her conclusion to him being a vampire wasn’t as stupid but if they know so many things about the book and movie shouldn’t she already know that Edwin was a vampire? It also would have been funnier if Edwin could read minds, but it was slightly different.
The whole reason I bought and read it was because it was mentioned that it was similar to Stephanie Meyer’s writing, but not even her writing is that annoying unless we are talking about the brief middle section in the second book and the entirety of the fourth book.
The ending was an interesting twist but I don’t know if it meant Bella was a vampire and Edwin was human or if they were both human? Who knows, but I would recommend people save their money and not buy this book.
For starters, stop mentioning everything that they did in Twilight because it’s supposed to be something different. Secondly, don’t make fun of an author for not doing research when you made an error on your own (if Jody’s mother died in the childbirth with his older brother then Jody cannot be alive! That’s not how childbearing works, but I tried to excuse it because you’re a male.)
Oh boy, this book dragged on and I found all the mentioning of the “they did this in the book, they did that in the movie” completely annoying and took away from the experience.
The only reason it got three stars from me was because I’d read this over the stupid parody book where the snowball melted off his back so he must be a vampire. At least her conclusion to him being a vampire wasn’t as stupid but if they know so many things about the book and movie shouldn’t she already know that Edwin was a vampire? It also would have been funnier if Edwin could read minds, but it was slightly different.
The whole reason I bought and read it was because it was mentioned that it was similar to Stephanie Meyer’s writing, but not even her writing is that annoying unless we are talking about the brief middle section in the second book and the entirety of the fourth book.
The ending was an interesting twist but I don’t know if it meant Bella was a vampire and Edwin was human or if they were both human? Who knows, but I would recommend people save their money and not buy this book.
October 29, 2020
It was a little bit difficult to get into and at points I didn’t understand how I would go on. But then there were other points where I was peeing myself laughing. It’s definitely not for everyone and I’m not sure that I would recommend it to anyone. But I would say that I personally don’t regret reading it.
September 21, 2020
This was harmful to all Twilight Saga Fans
I couldn't get past the first chapter. It might be good enough but after reading Stephanie Myers Twilight Saga, there's no way to enjoy this spoof! What more is there to say. Not wasting my time!!!!
I couldn't get past the first chapter. It might be good enough but after reading Stephanie Myers Twilight Saga, there's no way to enjoy this spoof! What more is there to say. Not wasting my time!!!!
November 3, 2023
I thought I was genuinely buying Edward's version of twilight and was very disappointed. It sits on my shelf unfinished. Probably my fault should've done more research about it before buying especially knowing it wasnt from Stephenie Meyer... ☠
January 7, 2019
Hilariously good
Edwards Twilight was hilariously entertaining giving all the spoofs of Vampires Suck while simultaneously giving their own. I loved it
Edwards Twilight was hilariously entertaining giving all the spoofs of Vampires Suck while simultaneously giving their own. I loved it
January 6, 2020
Edwards twilight
😕not sure I liked this book . I thought it was going to be like twilight but through Edwards eyes not a imitation.
😕not sure I liked this book . I thought it was going to be like twilight but through Edwards eyes not a imitation.
January 8, 2021
I should have read the back "about" section. Maybe after reading that is a spoof or as it's written 'a rudely comical mockery'... Edwin Dullen is frankly dull & disappointing.
May 13, 2022
Better than Twilight 🤣
July 14, 2023
Absolutely horrible. Couldn’t even finish it. Only got it because it was free.
July 28, 2024
It was stupid funny and I liked it.
January 11, 2026
I DNF this book at chapter 5.
It was just sooooo boring, there were some funny parts that made me laugh but it was all boring.
It was just sooooo boring, there were some funny parts that made me laugh but it was all boring.
March 17, 2023
Done it was good . Very funny. Helped me get threw the day.
November 4, 2017
I honestly only read this to fill the empty whole in my heart thats meant for Midnight Sun. This book was just a parody. I get that. Which is why I enjoyed it at first. But then... I'm not sure what happened......https://bookishowlette.wordpress.com/
April 15, 2016
I'd like to start by saying that I do love the Twilight series (books and movies) but I am completely aware of how ridiculous it all is, and I love looking at memes and gifs that make fun of the series and point out all the plot holes, etc. I'm also a fan of Twilight parodies. I really enjoyed Nightlight by The Harvard Lampoon. It was completely ridiculous, idiotic humor, but it was well done. All of this is to say that my hatred of Edward's Twilight had nothing to do with the fact that it was mocking a series I truly enjoy.
There was just nothing good about this book. The majority of it read like a poorly written "snarky" review of the series. If that's what I was looking for I'd just go read some Amazon reviews. At least they're usually clever.
I think that Edward's Twilight bit off more than it could chew,no pun intended. There was the review element, a few parodies of some of the characters and events, and then an overabundance of inane jokes about vampires and horror/fantasy in general. (All of Edwin's I <3 Transylvania apparel, the occasional random appearance of zombies, imaginary soundtracks playing to try and tell you how you're supposed to feel during a particular scene...) It felt like the author couldn't keep track of everything he was trying to make fun of and the result was a chaotic mess that fell flat in every area.
When reading a parody I never get my hopes too high to begin with because I know that it's undoubtedly going to be an obnoxious romp through stupid humor, but with most parodies I find myself laughing because it's so dumb it's funny. This book was just plain dumb. I didn't so much as crack a single smile, but I did find myself cringing at the painfully stupid attempts at humor.
I don't think I have ever hated a book so thoroughly. I would give it -5 stars if I could, and I intend to throw it straight in the trash now that I'm done reading it.
There was just nothing good about this book. The majority of it read like a poorly written "snarky" review of the series. If that's what I was looking for I'd just go read some Amazon reviews. At least they're usually clever.
I think that Edward's Twilight bit off more than it could chew,
When reading a parody I never get my hopes too high to begin with because I know that it's undoubtedly going to be an obnoxious romp through stupid humor, but with most parodies I find myself laughing because it's so dumb it's funny. This book was just plain dumb. I didn't so much as crack a single smile, but I did find myself cringing at the painfully stupid attempts at humor.
I don't think I have ever hated a book so thoroughly. I would give it -5 stars if I could, and I intend to throw it straight in the trash now that I'm done reading it.
October 15, 2016
Amazingly interesting
I chose this rating because I enjoyed reading it.
Its not like the regular book or movie because its a parody. I have to say;if the regular book wasn't so interesting, this one would have been better.
I loved this story.
The only thing that bothered me about this story is the tomato juice smell because I hate tomato juice lol but nice work.
They should make another like this
I chose this rating because I enjoyed reading it.
Its not like the regular book or movie because its a parody. I have to say;if the regular book wasn't so interesting, this one would have been better.
I loved this story.
The only thing that bothered me about this story is the tomato juice smell because I hate tomato juice lol but nice work.
They should make another like this
April 15, 2016
Enjoyed them poking fun at twilight.
I am a fan of the twilight books and movies. I found this a comic twist on the original and found myself laughing page after page. Not a book for everyone though. If you don't find it humorous early on then don't continue because the same humor continues though the whole book.
I am a fan of the twilight books and movies. I found this a comic twist on the original and found myself laughing page after page. Not a book for everyone though. If you don't find it humorous early on then don't continue because the same humor continues though the whole book.
December 4, 2016
It's a spoof. Could a spoof be well written? So far I'd say no.
With so many good books and so little time, why would I waste another second out of morbid curiosity? I'm pretty sure I tried reading this grab bag of excrement a year or more ago and couldn't go any further than I am currently. Why bother?!?
If you are a Stephanie Meyer fan drop this book and get the CHEMIST. It's good.
With so many good books and so little time, why would I waste another second out of morbid curiosity? I'm pretty sure I tried reading this grab bag of excrement a year or more ago and couldn't go any further than I am currently. Why bother?!?
If you are a Stephanie Meyer fan drop this book and get the CHEMIST. It's good.
January 22, 2013
This was a pretty humorous parody. In some ways I really enjoyed it, but other ways it was a little long. As a Twilight fan I really, really enjoyed the subtle and not-so-subtle refrences towards some of the sillier things in the books and movies. There were some major laugh out loud moments.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews