Telling Yourself the Truth: Find Your Way Out of Depression, Anxiety, Fear, Anger, and Other Common Problems by Applying the Principles of Misbelief Therapy

by William Backus, Marie Chapian

Find your way out of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, and more by applying the principles of Misbelief Therapy. Learn how to handle emotions properly.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Christian, Psychology, Counselling, Christian Living, Mental Health

228 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1980

Reviews

[Rosanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

The message of this book is a really good one, and one that should be commonsense but sadly isn’t. However, I can see the book itself causing a lot of discouragement for most of its readers for several reasons. First; the author states that the book is written in "everyday language" so that people from all backgrounds and reading levels can understand it, but there are words, phrases, even whole paragraphs that the average reader would struggle with. Second; when the author is using "everyday language" the tone is very condescending, the whole book made me feel as though I was being talked down to. Third; I felt as though I was being force fed, or even beaten over the head with, the Bible. I am a Christian, and this book could make even the most devout of believers question the strength of their relationship with God. Fourth; use of pharmaceutical aids is discouraged, even treated as though taking medication was sinful. I don’t think meds are for everyone, for most it would be a scapegoat, but I'm afraid this book would discourage those who genuinely need certain drugs not to pursue the help they need. Finally; (and this is my biggest problem) the course of action suggested is made to sound so simple, so easy, that with a snap of the fingers anyone can do it; when in fact anything of this nature takes time and effort. None of the problems the book addresses has a quick fix and if an ill person read this book and then found the program harder to work than it is portrayed a major damage could be done.

[Cindy Rollins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I honestly think this is one of the most helpful Christian books I have read. Very practical! If you struggle with a victim mentality, whining, or feeling sorry for yourself, or if you struggle with letting go of control of situations and people then this book will give you permission and strength even to change. Very empowering.

[Julie Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life. There is always a copy around, me. Even if you aren't into the spiritual/Christian point of view, you can still take away a lot from this book. You will have a new set of emotional tools. This book helped me to grow in so many ways that I would recommend it to anyone, with out hesitation. I can't give the exact date that I finished this book, because I have read it 3 times now, and every time that I read it, it becomes a new book for me. It's almost a self evaluation, each time.

[Carrie Daws · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'll be honest and tell you that this book stepped on my toes and burst some bubbles. But the authors had a gentle tone that didn't mince words or pull punches but asked me to be truthful at the same time. I've read other books that encourage the truth of taking thoughts captive and renewing your mind so it lines up with Scripture, but this book went a step or two further pointing out wrongful thoughts, where they clashed with Scripture, and how to correct them.

A couple of times, I had to step away from the book and consider what the authors were saying. I realized that I was uncomfortable because I didn't necessarily want to accept full responsibility for my thoughts. I wanted someone else to bear the blame as well as shoulder the work to fix things. But while others sometimes initiate painful situations, my response is always my choice, and the thoughts I allow to circle in my mind lead toward emotions that I can change by grabbing hold of truth.

This book isn't for everyone but would likely be helpful to most who give it an honest effort. That's not to say counseling and medication aren't important or necessary. William Backus was a licensed clinical psychologist and Marie Chapian is a Christian counselor. However, this book could aid in achieving mental and emotional health.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful, action-oriented book on experiencing emotions is a healthy way based on the principles of misbelief therapy. I highly recommend it to people who experience depression or anxiety, but it's also very informative and inspiring if you don't. It is told from a Christian perspective and has been a huge help to me personally. It looks deeply at the lies we tell ourselves and helps us replace them with truth.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a powerful book. The ability to see the lies that we tell ourselves clearly and instead choose to live in truth is key to maintaining peace and happiness in our lives. This was so eye opening and empowering.

[Julie D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you tell yourself negative things about yourself? I think all of us have things that we say all the time to ourselves that we never think twice about. It can be things that we've been told in childhood by parents, siblings, friends, or even things that we have heard from our spouse. We start to believe these negative things and then chime in to reinforce this negative talk.

This is NOT how God sees us or how we should treat ourselves. This negative talk can hold us back from doing the things we really want to do and can even make us physically sick!

I love that this book gives us the tools to start talking to ourselves the way God sees us and they even give us the Scriptures to back up what God says! For me, this was incredibly helpful and showed me the truth in God's Word about who I am.

The back of the book provides questions for each chapter that you can work through and help yourself to stop the negative talk. I found that I didn't even realize I was doing some of the negative talk to myself until I did these worksheets in the back. It really helped me to clarify areas where I need to believe who I am through God's eyes.

I highly recommend this book! It really has helped me to change a lot of the negative talk and feelings I've had about myself and has given me the tools and help I need to start talking positively about myself and believing the truth! This book is a definite 5 out of 5 star book.

*This book was provided to me for my honest review by Bethany House Publishers

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a lifechanging book and applies the principles of Misbelief Therapy. It teaches the reader how to interact with unhealthy internal dialogue, so that they are aware of the misconstrued dialogues we often create within our mind. Thinking creates feeling, and by repeating a broken record of unhelpful feelings, we often succumb to moods that reflect these internal states. Written from the basis of several cognitive therapists, this resource is written from a Christian perspective and offers a Biblical and practical response to depression, anxiety, fear, anger, and other common problems.

[Melissa Dishaw · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got to Chapter 9 and decided to quit. I struggled with the authors viewing their form of therapy in a way superior to others. Also I felt they sounded condescending towards Christians who struggle with the way they think. I do see some benefit to their model of therapy, but I personally feel it lacks for those who have experienced trauma.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love reading a book that puts my unorganized thoughts together to create clarity. This book helps identify the difference between terrible and unpleasant, the lie of the law of obligation, and what is faulty self-talk. These and other elements of false logic are explained in this book along with teaching correct ways to live in truth. All elements are taught based on principles Jesus taught in the Bible and God’s love and desire for us to find happiness. If you are struggling in relationships, anxiety, depression, or just never feel happy, this book can aid you on your journey to improve your life. It is written clearly, easy to process, and uplifting.

[Dr. Dena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Immensely helpful. Biblical emphasis for truthful self-talk, or how mis/beliefs can influence behavior.

[Veronica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful, insightful book I think everyone needs to read! When I decided to read it, I thought it looked interesting, but wasn't sure how much of it would really apply to me. However, I started to realize that I need to work on some of the areas in this book. Probably everyone engages in negative self-talk in one form or another and this book really makes you pay attention to every word you tell yourself. Is this thought true or is it a lie? Some of the topics are misbeliefs in depression, anger, anxiety, lack of self-control, fear of change and relationships with others. The authors back up their claims with a lot of Scripture and take you step-by-step through realizing the misbeliefs you have, removing them and replacing them with the truth. They also give helpful advice for how to deal with different situations. They give a lot of examples of people so it's easy to see it played out. These techniques have been proven to work in the author's own practice and these principles are actually from the Bible and have been around since before King Solomon. There's a wonderful study guide included with space to write in answers and thoughts. I highly recommend this book to everyone!

I received a free copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted to try this book to see if it would help me in anyway. It is not a very long book, but it took me a few days because it's emotional and about trying to help yourself. This book teaches us about Misbelief therapy, which are basically the lies we tell ourselves. Example: I am Dumb, I am worth nothing, I will not be successful. It also teaches us how to find the truth and get rid of those misbeliefs, I wish it was as simple as it says. I am hoping I am able to use this in my life though, and maybe I can finally not be as depressed, anxiety, etc. It takes time though! This book may not help everyone, because there are some folks who do need their medicine. But I don't see the harm in anyone reading this book. You never know you might read something you just didn't know about, and that may help you start on your road to healing. This book is christian belief based, which I thought made it even more awesome. I always like when they put scriptures in self help books like these. I believe it makes it gives me more hope and understanding sometimes. So find a copy and try it out for yourself!

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a bit skeptical of yet another self help book but I was very delighted to find that this book really is insightful and isn't just a self help book but is grounded in Biblical truths and is very uplifting. As someone who struggles with self doubt and negativity this book did an excellent job at helping me realize how much disbelief I really have in my life and how that is keeping me from experiencing true joy!

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with or has struggled with self doubt and being able to achieve joy in their lives.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Katelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I genuinely look at life differently because of this book. It helped me start climbing out of a major depressive episode. It's not a wowza type self-help book, but it consistently presented me with truths which I couldn't easily ignore. I learned new ways of thinking about perfectionism, boundaries, self-esteem, the expectations others have of me, and the expectations I have of others. I'll definitely be coming back to it for review from time to time.
It is a very Christian book, and it strengthened my faith in Christ. For those who do not believe in Jesus Christ, I think it is still a helpful book for working through persistent, negative thought patterns.

[Laura Radniecki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book got through to me.

I wouldn't say the information is completely brand new, but it was written in an way that made sense to me and stuck with me. Finally, after years of hearing "What's the worst that could happen?" as a way to combat anxiety, the way this book approaches that concept started to make sense and work for me when I need it to.

I've already ordered another of Backus' books that focuses on the area I most want to make progress in. I'm excited to read more.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly, highly recommended. The first time I read this I found it useful, but when I read through it a second time I found so much of myself in these pages. This book combines practical guidance with scriptural truth and is well worth a read for anyone dealing with depression, burn-out, anxiety, anger or low self-worth. Compassionately deciphering Truth from lies is definitely making a difference in my journey back to wellness. Thank you!

[Doug · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book has a good point in that self-talk is important and influences one's life. However the book discounts modern psychology. The author instead holds that all mental/emotion issues are due to bad beliefs and can be fixed through self-talk of good beliefs.

[brooke sellers · Rating 3 out of 5]

A blending of cognitive-behavioral therapy and the truth of scripture.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

If junior and senior high students could read this and let the truths guide their emotions and mindsets, a lot of the angst of growing up, acceptance, and peer pressure could be avoided.

[Laura Anthony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is incredible! It has shaped the way that I think by teaching me how train my thoughts to align with God’s truth. HIGHLY recommend for everyone.

[Robert Trcopan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the 1980’s, I had a best friend and two co-workers try out to be Los Angeles Police Officers. Back then, there were three areas of testing that you needed to complete before joining the Police Academy. These areas included passing college level classes based on the Administration of Justice, additional tests for physical agility and the dreaded Psych test, a verbal exam. One of my friends would do fine on the Administration of Justice and physical tests for agility but he could not pass the Psych test. He would eventually take this test three times before passing. The part he was tripped up on had to do with telling lies and admitting to stealing. I picked the brain of my best friends who had passed the Psych test to council my distraught friend. The LAPD assumes that all people in some way lie and steal. As one of my other friends told me, this attitude of assumption is necessary for officer survival and safety. My friend who took the Psych test three times could have saved time if he read Telling Yourself the Truth by William Backus and Marie Chapian.
Author William D. Backus passed away in 2005. He was a licensed Minister, psychologist and founder of the Christian Center for Psychological services. He wrote many books, including his final book still in print called What Your Counselor Never Told You. His co-author is Marie Chapian a psychotherapist, Christian counselor, writer of children’s books and poetry. She was nominated for the Ten Outstanding Women of the Year award. She lives in California and has written more than twenty-five books. Marie Chapian practices humility and often does not add her PhD degree to her name. Their book, Telling Yourself the Truth was first published in 1980 and has gone on to sell more than 750,000 copies.
The book Telling Yourself the Truth, like the LAPD Psych test, assumes that all people lie even too themselves. The authors’ call “Misbelief Therapy” the self-talk programming designed for us to help ourselves. It “involves putting the truth into our value systems, philosophies, demands, expectations, moralistic and emotional assumptions, as well as into words we tell ourselves. “ When our every thought is the truth, we sweep away the lies and misbeliefs that enslave us. Our lives are radically changed for the better and happiness is the result.
The purpose of the book is to help us possess the happiness we desire and to be the person we would like to be. The authors’ encourage us, “to live happily ever after with the person you are and make a profound effect on those around us because of it.” This immediately brings to mind the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus called happy people blessed. They are people “spiritually prosperous with joy, satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions.” This text has in depth coverage of how to defeat unhappiness. We can define happiness as a continuing sense of well-being. Happiness is a state of feeling good about life, others and self. We can also define happiness as the absence of mental and emotional discomfort and pain. As stated earlier, the Bible calls happy people “blessed.”
There are three steps to programming yourself to becoming the happy person we were meant to be. These include step one, locating your misbeliefs. Misbeliefs are irrationalities that are not easy to label. The authors of Telling Yourself the Truth write, “Most of what we tell ourselves is not in word form. Our thoughts are often images or attitudes without words attached to them. You may feel uncomfortable and isolated in crowded places but never actually put these feelings into words. You may be fearful of a thing and avoid it without really knowing what’s going on in your belief system at all. It is not, however, events either past or present which make us feel the way we feel, but our interpretation of those events.” Our feelings are caused by what we tell ourselves about our circumstances either in word or attitude.
Our misbeliefs are the cause of emotional turmoil and destructive behavior that people insist in engaging in, even when we are aware that the action is harmful. Misbeliefs appear as truth to a person because we constantly repeat these negative and harmful behaviors to ourselves. Negative verbiage or thoughts using words like, I can’t, I always, everybody does it, lead to distorted statements that our body accepts without question. These words can create emotional aches and pains. Our misbeliefs can be labeled a mental poison. You are the controller of your happiness. The truth is, the Christian does not have to strive for the approval of everyone around him.
Step two in telling yourself the truth involves removing the negative self-talk and misbeliefs by arguing against them. Step three challenges us to replace misbeliefs words and phrases with truth. For example, when you are lonely you might tell yourself, “I’m lonely and miserable”. To counter the misbelief, tell yourself, “I’m alone but I am not lonely.” Another example would be, “I’m a failure.” Instead, tell yourself, “I may have failed but I am deeply loved by God. Therefore I am important.” When we learn to see the truth about ourselves, we also learn to argue and get rid of the lies that would eventually destroy us.
The authors’ remind us that what we believe is all-important to our emotional and mental health. It makes a difference what we believe. To the Christian, belief is an easy concept to understand, especially when we practice a belief in Christ Jesus. Other people, events and material things will not make us happy. What we believe about these things will make us happy or unhappy.
It is our choice to say truthful things about ourselves. When we hear our- self-saying something false, we must stop and say aloud, “No. I don’t want to say that. It is not true. I have many quotes highlighted from the book and this is the best, “If we do not find worth in what we are and what we have now, we will tell ourselves we are less important than others or we have less than others. When we tell ourselves these things, we create unrest within ourselves and in striving to be or have what we think others have; we are always seeking after an invisible unattainable state of happiness which is always out of our grasp.” This is a wonderful tactic to use after a study on self-talk and misbelief.
Telling Yourself the Truth has been a best-selling book for thirty years. I believe that everyone should read the text and take to heart. The idea that we can misinform our- self with negative thoughts and actions is frightening but this can be avoided!
The text is easy to read and I discovered that I kept sneaking off to find the time to continue my reading when confronted with pressing needs and duties. There are not many books that are compelling enough to be shared with a friend, but this is one manuscript with ideas that should be common and not ignored.

[Peter Greenidge · Rating 1 out of 5]

My Grandma gave this to me years ago and I've always meant to read it for her sake. She wrote me a letter about her mental health struggles where she said this book really helped her when she was younger. My family is full of hidden mental illness and I thought maybe reading this would give me a better understanding of the mentalities that shaped that. I also just wanted to actually read a book I was gifted.

The book kinda boils down to "did you know that anxiety and depression are actually often irrational?" which I did know. It mixed some dated psychology with a Christian worldview that puts a lot of trust in God to ultimately solve all your problems. The content ranges from generally helpful advice to actively harmful ideas. Reading it mainly made me sad and angry :(

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most helpful books I’ve read!

This book was so practical and it really opened my eyes to the things I tell myself, and how to combat negative thinking. It’s definitely a book everyone should read!

[Catherine Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most fantastic and practical guides for daily Christian living I’ve come across in a while!

[Annika kipp · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ein gutes Buch zum Thema Emotionen , Gedanken , Gefühle und mentale Gesundheit. Ich finde einige Ansichten sehr flach und nicht umgreifend genug deswegen nur 3 Sterne. Trotzdem hat es Spaß gemacht zu lesen und es war einfach zu verstehen

[Tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

I gave this book a listen because it is one of my mother’s favorite books and was formative for her in her twenties. I thought that made it worth checking out. I wouldn’t have finished it otherwise.

The authors purported “misbelief therapy” as a cure-all for mental health challenges of all kinds, and they provide many anecdotes of patients experiencing breakthrough through this therapeutic technique.

In my own life, my mom often used the concept of telling yourself the truth to help herself as well as me through difficult moments in life. There is a lot of validity to the power of speaking truth to our emotions.

HOWEVER,

This book really concerned me for a handful of reasons. One is the number of examples about women struggling in their marriages. Early on, a story was told about a woman who felt her husband treated her poorly. She applied misbelief therapy and voila! She was able to cope and her husband actually began treating her better because she wasn’t holding his behavior against him. Essentially, she told herself “the way he treats me is not terrible; it is bearable.” While I understand the intention behind this anecdote, the way that it comes off is very concerning. While I'm sure this was not intended by the author, It could easily be read that it was her own fault that this woman was treated poorly. Little concern was given to the husband. Once the woman was therapized, the husband treated her better. In my opinion, the story would have been better left unsaid.

There were many examples about women in this book, and it was hard to listen to without feeling a sense of misogyny coming from the author. Again, I'm not accusing Backus of deliberate misogyny, but it comes off poorly to hear a man talk about lots of women who need to speak truth to their feelings.

Later on in the book, the authors told a story of a woman whose husband cheated on her, supposedly because she had gained weight. She was telling herself that it was not possible for her to lose weight. The authors made the claim that misbelief therapy would help her to lose weight. I truly could have quit listening at this point. How horrifying that a woman's body was the focus of the conversation rather than her cheating husband. I cannot believe that made it into the most recent edition of this book. Highly problematic.

Towards the end, the authors gave an example about a hypothetical patient going to a hypothetical therapist. In the story, the therapist applied misbelief therapy very harshly. The authors acknowledged the ability for practitioners to administer this therapy inappropriately.

In my reading of this book, I found myself often switching between feeling enjoyment and then horror. There would be sections of the book that were very biblical and encouraging. After all, speaking the truth is an important part of the Christian walk. I have seen for myself that this principle has been beneficial and healing in my life throughout the years. However, also in my experience, this therapy can also come across very invalidating. As you can see by the aforementioned examples, it is very delicate work to bring about that correction appropriately.

I would not be inclined to read anything else by this offer author. While the author was sometimes biblical, sometimes encouraging, and sometimes truthful, this book, overall had a tone of condescension, misogyny, and fatphobia. I absolutely could never recommend it. Sorry, mom - I still love you!

That said, am I thankful for some of these principles? At least the ones that were positive? Sure. But, I could not recommend this book for all of its negatives.

[Zach Koenig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of the thousands upon thousands of self-help book available to the public, the tact that "Telling Yourself The Truth" takes is all about managing our self-talk, including the thoughts that constantly dwell in our mind, as well as the beliefs (often faulty) we hold about ourselves.

Authors William Backus and Marie Chapian work under the premise that most people who struggle with depression/anxiety also grapple with negative self-talk...essentially discounting themselves from all of life's situations purely based on their own negative thoughts/beliefs. Though the book covers many different types/scenarios of depression, it always comes back to self-talk. In order to be lifted from the doldrums of negativity, we must "only" (if it only were that easy) learn to control our own thoughts.

Backus and Chapian's book also takes a Christian-based approach to their principles, citing Scripture to back up nearly ever one of their key principles. For those who follow Christ, it is comforting to know that the advice they are receiving is straight from the Bible.

Thus, I recommend this book for anyone looking to break free of their current depressed state. Throughout the text, many opportunities arise for self-participation, all of which (if utilized) will only enhance the overall process of defeating depression in all forms.

[Shera · Rating 5 out of 5]

Backus and Chapian create a "do it yourself" method that is attainable for the masses. While it is a Christian based book and they insist that you are able to do it yourself through the power of Christ, alot of the ideas can be adaptable to those who do not believe in Christ. While some may argue the results may not be the same, it is at least somewhat available to the non-Christian world. I found myself very involved with the book and the way they wrote it was easy to understand and enjoyable to read. In strict terms of setting up a framework for an approach to Christian counseling alot of its theorizing is not systematically approached. Rather it reflects my opening statements, that it is for the masses. I did not find its value to be less because of this however.

[Dustin Bagby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book both personally and professionally helpful in terms of coming to grips with our misbeliefs and how they affect our behavior. Essentially this is a popular explanation of a form of cognitive behavioral therapy (at least to the extent i understand!). This book has helped me rethink why I do (or do not) do certain things and I've had some personal realizations through reading this that have already helped me. I highly recommend.

This book could use an update (maybe it has been?), as scripture passages are in the KJV and the language is a little outdated.