Co-Dependence: Misunderstood—Mistreated – The Definitive Work on Addiction—With a New Introduction Addressing the Movement Backlash

by Anne Wilson Schaef

The explosive bestseller that revolutionized our understanding of the addictive process. With a new introduction addressing the backlash to the co-dependency movement.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Self Help, Social Work

130 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1985

Reviews

[Hannah Ruff · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am typically not a non-fiction reader, but my therapist suggested I read this book. It has been a really interesting and insightful read and I feel like I’ve learned a lot about myself. There were definitely topics in this book that resonated with me more than others like the characteristics of codependents in chapter 4. I really liked how this author provided numerous examples to help explain what she was discussing throughout the book since some of the subjects talked through were harder to understand. I think I definitely will be applying knowledge I’ve gained from reading this book in my everyday life as someone who is self admittedly a codependent. Honestly I think I already have begun to do so.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful. Content similar to Timmen Cermak's but with a few twists.

[Blue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cool to read about codependency as it was conceptualized around the time 12 step groups officially formed around it in the mid/late 80s. Out of the books I've read on this topic, this one has the best analysis of how codependency is woven into mainstream American culture and is related to systems of oppression...reinforcing gender roles, isolating people from friends and community, controlling women, etc..

"The family system is an important system, but I dont believe it is the primary system. It is one of the primary systems, the others being the personal system (within the individual), the institutional system with which we must cope, and the society at large."

I liked learning more about how codependency as a concept was created in a "grassroots" way, AKA by the people who experience it, not professionals. The author ties that to the women's movement in a cool way, in the sense that it also emerged from material experiences that then inspired theory/analysis (not the other way around).

Definitely recommend!

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

The chapters on characteristics and Cultural context made the book. The author explains her perspective so well that it let this reader pondering for days. That said, this book is meant for either someone who is a therapist, believes he or she may be codependent, or is invested with decreasing codependency in some role.

[Mandy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt the writing style of this book was dismissive of her other colleagues in the space, and limiting in application. I gave up on this book, even though it is relatively short, only a few chapters in. Her attitude is off-putting.

[RaRa · Rating 2 out of 5]

It wasn't great. It may have been one of the ground breakers when it was first written, but there are many things in this book that have had a paradigm shift and are no longer applicable. Some of the info is good though.

[Ariadne Oliver · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly, if someone holds the opinion that everyone not agreeing with them just hasn't realized their illness yet, they lose all credibility in my eyes.

[Ginny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting review predicting some of the more current understanding of addiction as an entire system from 30 years ago.

[David Mackey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anne Wilson Schaef writes from a secular perspective what at the time was a ground-breaking book on co-dependence, especially as understood systemically and beyond its role in the lives of those married to alcoholics. It is insightful and thought provoking. While there are significant theological issues for the Christian, there are many bridges which can be crossed and fruitful starting points for discussion. No one can walk away from reading this book without recognizing some issues within our own lives - even some of the "good characteristics" which are really dysfunctional - even if we don't agree with the treatment methods Schaef recommends (influenced by a very generic spirituality with native american influences).

[Jacquelyn Fusco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, I'm giving this book 5 stars, but that's acknowledging that it was written in the 1980's and I am not a mental health professional. However, I think it was a great, short book that gave me a little bit of a beginning of a better understanding of the topic. It's just like dipping my toe in. Since my best friend suffers from this and, it seems like many/most women do on some level, I may read more about it. It's certainly interesting, if not frustrating...the topic, that is.
I wish the book had more about treatment, but I guess it is not intended for friends to read it and then cure their friends, lol. That would be bad... even though it's what I wanted lol.
It only took me a couple hours to read. I grew to like the author. I'mma google her.

[Colleen Wainwright · Rating 3 out of 5]

Can't imagine how many minds this blew when it first came out. It's kind of amazing to read this in late 2015 and to recognize how much better educated the general population is on the drama of addiction-recovery, much less the directly-affected population.

Then again, as the author suggests, we're probably all more directly affected than we realize. It's been a shock to me, recognizing the pattern of addiction in so much of how we as a modern culture interact with each other and our world.

[Breeana Wright · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very eye-opening about codependents (myself...). Codependency truly is an ailment socially, spiritually, relationally, and possibly even financially. Knowledge is power - to know more SPECIFICALLY where my weaknesses are helps me better know what to tackle and how to HEAL and recover (thanks to Christ's Atonement, which enables change---fabulous.)

[Susan]

Long ago.
only comment is "good, informative, short"