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Prayer: Our Deepest Longing
Our Deepest Longing looks at the issues facing people of faith in today’s culture, and offers a way of more effectively dealing with them by seeking out opportunities for prayer. With simple, down-to-earth language, Rolheiser illustrates the importance of prayer and offers techniques on how to pray, using examples from daily life, Scripture, and contemporary writers. He delves into the places that we fear to go with our issues about prayer, encouraging us with gentle kindness and words of hope and inspiration.
The book is divided into five sections.
1. Why Pray? Illustrates the purposes and benefits of prayer for ourselves, as well as for the broader Catholic community and even the world.
2. Why Is It so Hard? Notes how our contemporary culture conspires against taking time out for solitude and prayer, and how our own ego—with its fears, restlessness, and narcissism—can work against developing a deeper relationship with God through prayer.
3. What Is Prayer? Outlines the two basic types of prayer, that is, affective (personal) and priestly (for the world). This section also notes the many ways or methods for each type of prayer, such as meditation, contemplation, the divine office, the Mass, and Scripture.
4. Sticking with It When It Gets Hard. This section covers the development of mature prayer, discussing ways to pray in times of boredom, disillusionment, crisis, helplessness, or after a loved one’s death.
5. Mysticism. Here we learn about this increasingly popular form of intimate relationship with God.
There will be a leader’s guide for this book, making it an ideal resource for use with prayer groups, small faith communities, and retreats.
This is a book for all manner of believer, whether your faith is solidly rooted in Catholicism, wavering between the Christianity of childhood and non-participatory faith as an adult, or just not sure what you believe—or whether you believe at all. It addresses topics that typify our culture, such as narcissism, pragmatism, efficiency, and self-gratification, and that work against a healthy spiritual life. Finally, the book takes us to a place of contact and comfort, in relationship not only with God but with our true selves as well.
The book is divided into five sections.
1. Why Pray? Illustrates the purposes and benefits of prayer for ourselves, as well as for the broader Catholic community and even the world.
2. Why Is It so Hard? Notes how our contemporary culture conspires against taking time out for solitude and prayer, and how our own ego—with its fears, restlessness, and narcissism—can work against developing a deeper relationship with God through prayer.
3. What Is Prayer? Outlines the two basic types of prayer, that is, affective (personal) and priestly (for the world). This section also notes the many ways or methods for each type of prayer, such as meditation, contemplation, the divine office, the Mass, and Scripture.
4. Sticking with It When It Gets Hard. This section covers the development of mature prayer, discussing ways to pray in times of boredom, disillusionment, crisis, helplessness, or after a loved one’s death.
5. Mysticism. Here we learn about this increasingly popular form of intimate relationship with God.
There will be a leader’s guide for this book, making it an ideal resource for use with prayer groups, small faith communities, and retreats.
This is a book for all manner of believer, whether your faith is solidly rooted in Catholicism, wavering between the Christianity of childhood and non-participatory faith as an adult, or just not sure what you believe—or whether you believe at all. It addresses topics that typify our culture, such as narcissism, pragmatism, efficiency, and self-gratification, and that work against a healthy spiritual life. Finally, the book takes us to a place of contact and comfort, in relationship not only with God but with our true selves as well.
83 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 19, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
July 1, 2021
Prayer: Our Deepest Longing by Father Ronald Rolheiser is a quick read that focuses on the importance of prayer in our lives. He covers topics like struggling with prayer, trying to hear God’s voice when praying and growing in maturity in one’s prayer life. Rolheiser uses Scripture, personal experience and philosophy of prayer to give advice on why we should pray and make it a part of our lives.
If I had read this one before my last book about prayer, it would have been a good way to start refocusing on my prayer life. Unfortunately, I read this one after Praying with a Pen and it felt like I didn’t get as much out of it as I should have. There are some good aspects about how to pray and make it a routine. Chapter 4: Practicing Affective Prayer is a good chapter about the important of non-scripted, private prayer. However, most of the book is too general and philosophical, instead of really helpful in direct, specific guidance. If someone is looking to be inspired to pray or needs to be reminded of why we should pray, then this is a good, quick read.
If I had read this one before my last book about prayer, it would have been a good way to start refocusing on my prayer life. Unfortunately, I read this one after Praying with a Pen and it felt like I didn’t get as much out of it as I should have. There are some good aspects about how to pray and make it a routine. Chapter 4: Practicing Affective Prayer is a good chapter about the important of non-scripted, private prayer. However, most of the book is too general and philosophical, instead of really helpful in direct, specific guidance. If someone is looking to be inspired to pray or needs to be reminded of why we should pray, then this is a good, quick read.
February 23, 2018
A short book yet filled with so much wisdom I had to slow down to read it. Practical and down to earth, it encouraged me in how to pray and reassured me that I have not been doing it wrong, even when distracted and discouraged. Such a beautiful reminder of the love of God. Highly recommend this book.
October 15, 2013
While on a road trip I listened to this book and had to listen again as some of the pithy points Rolheiser made bear further thought. He takes into account the struggles we have with our attention spans and our understanding of perfection. In fact his distinction between the Greek and the Hebrew understandings of perfection are quite in instructive. He distinguishes well between public (liturgical) prayer and private (affective) prayer. All of this is illustrated with stories and his own personal experience. The appendix contains a suggested prayer exercise. But the book is not a manual of how to do prayer. It is more about helping us get to a prayerful state and to help us interpret our prayer and life experiences. You don't need a theology degree to get something from this book, but those with that background will profit even more.
January 2, 2025
Highly recommend. Do yourself a favor and enrich your prayer life. So much wisdom in this small book.
February 1, 2018
Rolheiser, a Roman Catholic priest, has presented an encouraging, invitational little volume on prayer which did not disappoint. I appreciated his realistic view of the spiritual walk, expecting some doldrums and offering encouragement therein. This short book was very refreshing to me and spoke to me of God's love and presence right where I am right now.
July 26, 2015
....If someone is asking how to pray... this is the right book... whether you a beginner or starting a prayer life or a person who has a deep prayer life... a highly recommended book.
April 9, 2019
This very short and very readable book is a collection of six easy-to-understand reflections on prayer—what it is, why we need to do it and how to do it. Written by Catholic priest and theologian Ronald Rohleiser, the book emphasizes the importance of prayer in our daily lives. It also reveals the key to a rich and fulfilling prayer life, which is both exceedingly simple and exceedingly difficult: You just have to do it. Develop the habit. Show up. This small, but powerful, tome may just be what you need to supercharge your prayer life.
May 27, 2020
My husband and I both read this book during Lent and Covid. We read one article in each chapter singly and and spent time with each as a meditation. It was an awesome book. Easy to understand that answer many questions and explained so many things. He’s book was great. I have other works by him. Wonderful is best I can say I recommend anything by him.
October 5, 2017
Recommended by my priest! Great and easy read
February 25, 2024
Highly recommended by a friend, I picked this up during a retreat wondering what I could glean from a short book like this having already read many books about prayer. Wow! Rolheiser spoke to exactly what I was dealing with during the retreat--my false and tenacious view that God is disappointed in me when I come to them, among other relevant points. Rolheiser is honest and direct, humble and insightful when talking about prayer. This book helps me to have new enthusiasm and new insights into why I avoid it at times and the need to stick with it when it's boring, just as in any long-term relationship. Now I highly recommend it!
October 9, 2014
Whatever your denomination, even if your not Christian, this little book will add fire to your prayer or meditation practice. An easy, gentle flowing and compelling read; one could easily be tempted to read it entirely in one or two sittings. Yet, to fully appreciate its profundity, one should read its chapters one day at a time and seek integrate there perspective into one's own personal prayer life.
June 11, 2018
Preview: "Spirituality is as real as science." (vii - the first sentence of the book!)
*** Struggling in Prayer: "Where our culture is particularly dangerous, I feel, is in the way it can perpetually shield us from having to face the deeper issues of life: faith, forgiveness, morality, mortality." (p12)
*** Hearing God's Voice in Prayer: "The voice of God, it would seem, is found in paradox, but it is the voice of someone who knows us intimately and calls each of us by name." (p17)
"It is not so much the fear that God doesn't exist, as the fear that God does not notice our existence." (p21)
***Understanding Priestly & “Affective” Prayer
"'Affective' prayer refers to private prayer, prayer that's about us, focused precisely on bringing us and our feelings to God. 'Priestly' prayer, on the other hand, is not about us; it is about the world and for the world." (p27)
"Priestly prayer is the prayer of Christ through the Church for the whole world." "The Church does not exist for its own sake, but as an instrument of salvation for the world." (p28)
"Private or affective prayer has many forms- meditation, centering prayer, praying the rosary, and devotional prayers of all kinds. But affective prayer has a single aim: to draw us and our loved ones into a deeper intimacy with Christ." (p37)
"The simpler something is, the harder it is to wrap our minds around it. That is true of prayer." (38)
"We need to hear God, affectionately, one to one, saying our name. ... we, too, one to one, with affection... say the same thing to God: I love you!" (p38-39)
*** Growing to Maturity with God
"Again, there is something legitimate in these warnings: duty and commitment without heart will not ultimately sustain themselves. But with that being admitted, it is important to recognize and name the fact that any relationship in love, family, church, or prayer can sustain itself over a long period only through ritual and routine. Ritual sustains the heart, not vice versa." (p52-3)
"This is one of the final tasks of the spiritual life: the movement from resentment to gratitude, from cursing to blessing, from bitterness to graciousness. And it is a monumental task." (p56)
*** Listening to God's Heartbeat: "When our ear is pressed to God's heart- to the breast of all that is good, true and beautiful- we hear a certain heartbeat and we remember... at a level beyond thought, that we were once gently kissed by God." (p66)
*** Struggling in Prayer: "Where our culture is particularly dangerous, I feel, is in the way it can perpetually shield us from having to face the deeper issues of life: faith, forgiveness, morality, mortality." (p12)
*** Hearing God's Voice in Prayer: "The voice of God, it would seem, is found in paradox, but it is the voice of someone who knows us intimately and calls each of us by name." (p17)
"It is not so much the fear that God doesn't exist, as the fear that God does not notice our existence." (p21)
***Understanding Priestly & “Affective” Prayer
"'Affective' prayer refers to private prayer, prayer that's about us, focused precisely on bringing us and our feelings to God. 'Priestly' prayer, on the other hand, is not about us; it is about the world and for the world." (p27)
"Priestly prayer is the prayer of Christ through the Church for the whole world." "The Church does not exist for its own sake, but as an instrument of salvation for the world." (p28)
"Private or affective prayer has many forms- meditation, centering prayer, praying the rosary, and devotional prayers of all kinds. But affective prayer has a single aim: to draw us and our loved ones into a deeper intimacy with Christ." (p37)
"The simpler something is, the harder it is to wrap our minds around it. That is true of prayer." (38)
"We need to hear God, affectionately, one to one, saying our name. ... we, too, one to one, with affection... say the same thing to God: I love you!" (p38-39)
*** Growing to Maturity with God
"Again, there is something legitimate in these warnings: duty and commitment without heart will not ultimately sustain themselves. But with that being admitted, it is important to recognize and name the fact that any relationship in love, family, church, or prayer can sustain itself over a long period only through ritual and routine. Ritual sustains the heart, not vice versa." (p52-3)
"This is one of the final tasks of the spiritual life: the movement from resentment to gratitude, from cursing to blessing, from bitterness to graciousness. And it is a monumental task." (p56)
*** Listening to God's Heartbeat: "When our ear is pressed to God's heart- to the breast of all that is good, true and beautiful- we hear a certain heartbeat and we remember... at a level beyond thought, that we were once gently kissed by God." (p66)
November 20, 2023
“Prayer:Our Deepest Longing” by Reverend Ron Rolheiser is divided into five chapters that deal with different issues related to prayer. Chapter one deals with “struggling in prayer”; chapter two addresses “hearing God’s voice in prayer”; chapter three focuses on “understanding priestly prayer”; chapter four addresses the issue of “practicing affective prayer” and chapter five focuses on “growing to maturity in prayer.”
The book is well organized and is a simple primer on Christian prayer. It provides insight into the different issues related to prayer and simple advice on how to practice Christian prayer and help to grow spiritually and get closer to God.
Rolheiser points out that our society’s fast paced lifestyle sometimes makes it difficult to slow down and pray to God and listen to his voice and guidance. In chapter two, Rolheiser highlights Jesus’ own example of prayer, especially how he prayed in Luke’s Gospel. Rolheiser points out that the Christian disciples asked Jesus how to pray because “Ultimately, we too want Jesus’ depth and graciousness in our own lives. Like Jesus’ disciples, we also know we can attain this only through prayer, through accessing a power that lies inside the deepest deep of our souls and beyond our souls.”Of course, God is the source of this power, love and grace, and this help comes when we pray.
Rolheiser also makes distinctions between our own personal prayer life and the public prayer of the church found in the Mass and in the Litrugy of the Hours. Rolheiser points out that the church exists to serve the world and intercede for the world so that society gets closer to Jesus.
Rolheiser says “The classic definition of prayer tells us that prayer is raising mind and heart to God.” Additionally, he says “But ultimately, prayer is about love, not insight. It is meant to establish friendship.” Rolheiser points out that prayer brings us closer to a friendship with God.
He also points out that we need patience with God when we pray.
Ultimately, the book expresses the reality that God loves each person, that prayer brings us closer to Jesus and prayer is an excellent investment of our time and energy. God is faithful and hears and answers every prayer in his time.
The book is well organized and is a simple primer on Christian prayer. It provides insight into the different issues related to prayer and simple advice on how to practice Christian prayer and help to grow spiritually and get closer to God.
Rolheiser points out that our society’s fast paced lifestyle sometimes makes it difficult to slow down and pray to God and listen to his voice and guidance. In chapter two, Rolheiser highlights Jesus’ own example of prayer, especially how he prayed in Luke’s Gospel. Rolheiser points out that the Christian disciples asked Jesus how to pray because “Ultimately, we too want Jesus’ depth and graciousness in our own lives. Like Jesus’ disciples, we also know we can attain this only through prayer, through accessing a power that lies inside the deepest deep of our souls and beyond our souls.”Of course, God is the source of this power, love and grace, and this help comes when we pray.
Rolheiser also makes distinctions between our own personal prayer life and the public prayer of the church found in the Mass and in the Litrugy of the Hours. Rolheiser points out that the church exists to serve the world and intercede for the world so that society gets closer to Jesus.
Rolheiser says “The classic definition of prayer tells us that prayer is raising mind and heart to God.” Additionally, he says “But ultimately, prayer is about love, not insight. It is meant to establish friendship.” Rolheiser points out that prayer brings us closer to a friendship with God.
He also points out that we need patience with God when we pray.
Ultimately, the book expresses the reality that God loves each person, that prayer brings us closer to Jesus and prayer is an excellent investment of our time and energy. God is faithful and hears and answers every prayer in his time.
March 7, 2020
Father Jim gave Prayer: Our Deepest Longing to any parishioner who wanted it on Ash Wednesday. Most nights I read from one bold titled section to the next.
With its few 78 pages, Prayer: Our Deepest Longing is challenging yet comforting, rich in narrative yet easy to understand. It's almost impossible to tell others what you have gleaned from reading it because, I believe, it becomes, IT IS, so personal to the person reading it.
I found it interesting that the author, Ronald Rolheiser, doesn't have his designation after his name on the cover. That makes me both sad and glad. Sad because, as a Catholic, I want our wonderful priests known as who they are. The great and faithful priests are so ignored by the the problems within our priesthood and church. Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, OMI, is a priest with the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate. On the other hand, it is my sincerest hope that leaving his designation off the cover will lead anyone struggling with prayer to find comfort and hope in Prayer: Our Deepest Longing.
With its few 78 pages, Prayer: Our Deepest Longing is challenging yet comforting, rich in narrative yet easy to understand. It's almost impossible to tell others what you have gleaned from reading it because, I believe, it becomes, IT IS, so personal to the person reading it.
"Anyone who prays only when she can effectively bring along her heart and soul will not sustain prayer for long. But the habit of prayer, the ritual, the simple fidelity to the act, showing up to do it irrespective of feelings and mood, can sustain prayer for a lifetime and reign in the roaming of the head and heart."So true. Often, when I just would rather read or do anything besides my devotions or prayers, I remind myself with a kick that those are the times when I most need to pray.
I found it interesting that the author, Ronald Rolheiser, doesn't have his designation after his name on the cover. That makes me both sad and glad. Sad because, as a Catholic, I want our wonderful priests known as who they are. The great and faithful priests are so ignored by the the problems within our priesthood and church. Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, OMI, is a priest with the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate. On the other hand, it is my sincerest hope that leaving his designation off the cover will lead anyone struggling with prayer to find comfort and hope in Prayer: Our Deepest Longing.
August 30, 2024
There was certainly a lot I liked in this book. I feel Rolheiser did a great job at describing what the struggle of cultivating a prayer life can feel like, and emphasizing the disciplinary nature of prayer.
But overall, I unfortunately sensed some theologically liberal (not political) leanings in this book (which is all too common in post-Vatican II Roman Catholicism), and as a result its language is ultimately a little too vague, it didn't offer enough practical guidance, and its theology of prayer was just too fluffy. On top of that, I couldn't help but see some influences of Roman Catholic mysticism, which I don't think is helpful for engaging in the biblical view of prayer.
There are simply just way too many excellent resources on prayer in the classical Protestant tradition for me to recommend this book.
I think the average American evangelical would be more benefited by reading the single-sentence answer to question 178 of the Westminster Larger Catechism: "What is prayer? Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God, in the name of Christ, by the help of His Spirit; with confession of our sins, and thankful acknowledgment of His mercies."
But overall, I unfortunately sensed some theologically liberal (not political) leanings in this book (which is all too common in post-Vatican II Roman Catholicism), and as a result its language is ultimately a little too vague, it didn't offer enough practical guidance, and its theology of prayer was just too fluffy. On top of that, I couldn't help but see some influences of Roman Catholic mysticism, which I don't think is helpful for engaging in the biblical view of prayer.
There are simply just way too many excellent resources on prayer in the classical Protestant tradition for me to recommend this book.
I think the average American evangelical would be more benefited by reading the single-sentence answer to question 178 of the Westminster Larger Catechism: "What is prayer? Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God, in the name of Christ, by the help of His Spirit; with confession of our sins, and thankful acknowledgment of His mercies."
June 28, 2025
This is a book that is more about the love of God and therefore the importance of prayer, but also our struggles as humans. Some reviews have said that it is too philosophical, obviously wishing for a step by step how m-to. But I have found over the years that those kind of guides can be either lacking or quickly get one into a rut. Plus prayer is a mystery and to claim to give black and white principles misses the point. I found this book so helpful to meditate on and gave up trying to keep it pristine to pass along: I ended up underlining and now I have found the study guide, I will be going back to the beginning! I will also be buying copies to give to friends.
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November 18, 2017
Prayer is a struggle. The book states but goes on to say that we are made for love and for intimacy with each other and with God. Prayer is a discipline and an awareness of God on our lives. It is meat to respect the natural rhythms of our energy.
How do we recognize God’s voice among the chatter of our lives? The book shares how we can do this in a variety of ways. One of which is through solitude.
This book is a wonderful source especially when we go through our dry period of prayer and how to get out of it and work through it. As we grow, in age and wisdom, our prayer life also changes and evolves. This book is a great source.
How do we recognize God’s voice among the chatter of our lives? The book shares how we can do this in a variety of ways. One of which is through solitude.
This book is a wonderful source especially when we go through our dry period of prayer and how to get out of it and work through it. As we grow, in age and wisdom, our prayer life also changes and evolves. This book is a great source.
April 2, 2019
As usual, Fr Rolheiser can pack significant punch into so few words. As many of his writings seem to be constructed, followers of his short essays will no doubt find themselves saying: “I know I’ve heard this before!” Because: you probably have. Nonetheless, these essays are well-woven into a short collection that will no doubt have you feeling guilty about not praying more often - even if it that ritual seems boring and uninspired most of the time. His example of spouses sharing seemingly dispassionate good morning and good night kisses is a great analogy. Simple ritual contains great meaning, and may even lead to mountaintop experiences once in a while.
February 25, 2021
For those who feel spiritually stuck or impassive in life, the advice in this book can help to uncement us. It isn't profound advice, yet it is haunting in its simplicity and truth. We have those times when we become wedded to anger or routines and we just feel dryness at prayer, or don't even know where to start. This is ok, and perfectly normal. Read this book slowly, reread poignant paragraphs, take notes. And it isn't just a Catholic book. This is a book for humans who seek a relationship with God.
September 27, 2022
I loved the first chapter of this book so much. I hated the third one. The others fell out somewhere in between. The entry that appreciated the potential efficacy of parenting in spiritual formation was much appreciated and matched my own experience. Others entries tended to assume the experience of a Catholic priest could be universalized; we’re subtly but specifically Catholic in their applicability, or made sweeping claims without scriptural support or any basis of evidence. Sometimes I think I’m not woo-ey enough to appreciate what’s available in this kind of reading.
June 11, 2025
This is a lovely book of commentaries about some sorts of prayer. The best quote for me was in the Preface, "There is no bad way to pray and there is no one starting point for prayer. All the great spiritual masters offer only one non-negotiable rule: You have to show up for prayer and you have to show up regularly." This is worth the price of the book alone, although showing up and showing up regularly are also ways to excel in other parts of your life where you would like to grow.
March 2, 2019
Such a small book but filled with so much wisdom, relevance and practicality. This can easily be read again and again in a short time whenever you feel yourself yearning for something, a disconnect or your prayer life needs a refresh. So many great things that can easily be incorporated into anyone's daily life!
December 12, 2019
Having just had the privilege of being on retreat with Father Ron, this concise book is a great reminder of some of his key teachings about prayer. Through poignant real-life examples and insightful interpretations of Scripture and spiritual writers, Father Ron provides a foundation for revisiting and reviving your prayer practice.
June 28, 2022
Such an enriching short book. Glad my first experience with Rolheiser was so positive. I was really blessed by his writing and the way it feels like you're communing with God as you read it. You don't read a book like this for knowledge; you read it prayerfully as though you were walking or sitting with God.
May 26, 2025
"It’s not that we become disillusioned with God, but rather that we come to realize that so many of the warm thoughts and feelings we believed were about God, were really about ourselves. Disillusionment is a good thing. It’s the dispelling of an illusion. What we thought was prayer was partly a spell of enchantment about ourselves."
June 4, 2018
Well worth your time
Anything by this author recommended by my Pastor. My 2nd book by this author & as good as the first. Picked this one for the title & stayed with it to the end because I was challenged & educated. Will retread with a highlighter next time.
Anything by this author recommended by my Pastor. My 2nd book by this author & as good as the first. Picked this one for the title & stayed with it to the end because I was challenged & educated. Will retread with a highlighter next time.
June 22, 2019
Appreciate Rolheiser's simple, pragmatic approach toward prayer. One of his main principles is that it doesn't matter *how* you pray -- what's more important is just showing up. That said, I do wish he shared practical tips on how to pray.
January 19, 2023
I read this with my faith sharing group. We read one chapter every two weeks. The chapters were short and always had some good points to ponder and discuss. Talking about different types of prayer, times and strategies for prayer gave me new ideas for my prayer life.
February 5, 2023
Short book- I read a small section each day. Father Ronald Rolheiser gives a lot of good suggestions for how to improve your daily prayer. The appendix is resting in God’s presence. This is a good read that I will reread again to help me with my daily prayer life.
February 18, 2023
Give this book a 3.5. Mainly bc I only liked the second half of this book.
Could’ve done without chapters 1-3. They would be great for someone new to prayer or would want a beginners recap. 4-6 are chapter full of GREAT insight on prayer! Will be using what I learned this year.
Could’ve done without chapters 1-3. They would be great for someone new to prayer or would want a beginners recap. 4-6 are chapter full of GREAT insight on prayer! Will be using what I learned this year.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews