If Not Love

by Kay Langdale

What defines a marriage? What are the ties that bind? It cannot only be a question of love… If not love, then what keeps a marriage or relationship together? Is it a matter of knowledge, of kindness, or simply the familiarity of a long road traveled together? If Not Love is a candid exploration of the lives of six women who, unknowingly, are all connected to one another. In this moving debut novel, each one must confront and accept an uncomfortable reality, and recognize what their relationships teach them about themselves. The truths of their marriages are far from an idealization of love; instead they carry with them an understanding of what it is to be a wife, a mother, a lover. For Sarah, it is not just love, but rather a brave commitment to the ties that bind—the oath she swore to and honors even in the face of temptation and desire. Kate, Sarah’s best friend, understands that she would rather be alone than not loved, whereas Isobel, Kate’s mother, reflects, in her widowhood, on the infidelity she accepted and possibly even encouraged. Martha, now in a retirement home, cherishes her affair with Isobel's husband as the defining moment of her life. Martha’s nurse, Sheila, is in an unconventional marriage—but one that is shown to be enduring and with its own integrity. And finally there is Judith, who is the most tormented of all, and who must confront old demons before she can face life boldly. In a rich, evocative narrative, Kay Langdale interweaves the complexities of love and marriage with a rare maturity and vision. If Not Love is subtle and moving, and dark and painful at times. But it is ultimately a celebration of the journey each woman makes, both within her heart and within her marriage. It shows how individuals can make small, bold actions that transform their emotional history. A well-crafted story of individual and mutual empowerment, If Not Love displays a breadth of understanding of female honesty in an engrossing and perceptive debut novel. International Praise for the Unusually Powerful Debut Novel by Kay Langdale, Nominated for the 2007 Romantic Novel of the Year Award (UK): “Affecting first novel...celebrates, frankly and subtly, the checks and balances of marital life.”— The Sunday Times “Langdale’s approach in crafting is refreshingly, compellingly alternative…an elegant, adept use of language and a singularly insightful evocation of the mature female psyche.” — her circle ezine “Langdale’s accomplished debut takes some unfashionable themes—marriage, mother- hood, loyalty, and duty—and considers them in a fresh light, through the medium of six female characters.…The sensitivity with which the author describes her characters’ innermost thoughts is one of the things that makes this book worth reading.”— The Times (London) "A powerful and positive meditation on marriage that resonates long after you have finished the book"--- The Oxford Times

Genres: Chick Lit

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 8, 2008

About the author

Kay Langdale was born in Coventry, England.

From a young age she loved to read and to write.

She attended Bedford College, London University, graduating with a first class degree in English Literature and then went to Oxford University where she completed a doctorate on Samuel Beckett’s prose fiction. She briefly taught twentieth century literature at St Edmund Hall, Oxford before beginning work as an account handler and copywriter at a brand consultancy.

She is married to a South African entrepreneur, with whom she has four children who are now mostly grown. Kay divides her time between their homes in Oxfordshire and Devon.

Now writing her eighth novel, Kay also works as an editor for the charity The Children’s Radio Foundation which trains young broadcasters in six countries in sub-Saharan Africa.

When not writing Kay enjoys running, ballet barre, yoga, swimming, coastal walking, learning Italian, cooking and reading. Always reading.

Reviews

[Cynthia Mudaye · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting approach to marriage and relationships from the women in them.A refreshing alternative I enjoyed the read.

[Vicki · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book about 6 women, who are all somewhat connected to each other. It discusses their marriages from each viewpoint and then a final, probably somewhat unnecessary chapter that does connect them. It starts off a little slowly with a woman contemplating an affair with her husband's best friend. The chapter seems to follow nearly every thought she has as she goes through her day, very distracted by the potential for the affair. The next chapter is the husband's best friend's wife, realizing that her husband has stopped cherishing her and wondering what to do, and if he's having an affair, and if she would prefer to be alone or in a marriage with someone who no longer loves her. Then her mother, whose husband had a long term affair she was aware of and tacitly approved of. Then that lover has her chapter. Then the story of another marriage that was unconsummated, possibly because the husband was trying to suppress his homosexuality. Anyways, I thought it started out a little slow, but I ended up fully absorbed.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book. The first six chapters were basically the thoughts of six different women on their marriages. I felt that each woman had a sad story; all was lacking something in their marriages/relationships. I liked the way those first six chapters were written. They were like the thoughts and memories of these women. But after those chapters the author changed the style and made it more into a flowing story. At least it had a mostly happy ending.

[Brooke · Rating 2 out of 5]

This connected collection of recountings from several women about the present and past loves of their lives had some golden moments. Some of the characters' sections were real gems, whereas others were a bore. In too many parts of the book, the story just dragged on & on & on. While nicely written, just plain too wordy.

[Whitney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bittersweet but ultimately inspiring tales of 6 women and their experiences of love, marriage, mothering. Left me with a smile.

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it overall. I couldn't believe the ending! Such a page turner!