Sellised need mehed ongi: käsiraamat naistele meeste paremaks mõistmiseks

by David Deida, L. ja M. Remmel (Translator)

"See raamat võiks olla käsiraamatuna kohustuslik kirjandus igale naisele, kes soovib heita sügavamat pilku meeste ja meheliku mõtlemise maailma.

Operetis „Mu veetlev leedi” õhkas Mr. Higgins: „Miks ei võiks naine olla nii nagu mees!” Ilmselt on sarnase küsimuse üle - miks ei võiks mees olla nii nagu naine - kas vihasena, kurvana, nõutuna või üllatunult mõnikord pead murdnud vist iga naine.

Miks paljudel meestel tekivad õuduskrambid, kui nad kuulevad lauset: „Ma tahan sinuga rääkida!”?
• Kuidas nad suudavad rahulikult tööle keskenduda ka siis, kui teie laps vaevleb palavikus?
• Kuidas on võimalik, et mees pühendab palju enam tähelepanu ja aega oma tööle kui suhtele ja kinnitab samas käsi südamel, et teie suhe on talle väga tähtis?
• Mis meeste peas toimub, kui sa temalt küsid: „Kallis, kas see kleit teeb mu paksuks?”
• Miks mees kaotab keskendumisvõime, kui napis seelikus naine talle möödudes naeratab?
• Mis tunne on mehel olla suhtes ilusa, targa ja eduka naisega?

Deida vastab. Ausalt, avameelselt, asjatundlikult. Hea huumoriga vürtsitatult, nii et seda raamatut on mõnus lugeda ka siis, kui sulle näib, et sa tead ja tunned mehi.

Selleks, et elada õnnelikus suhtes oma mehega, peab teda mõistma. Deida abiga orienteerud ehk edaspidi meeste hingemaastikul paremini ja enesekindlamalt või siis avastad enda jaoks uusi nüansse, mis rikastavad teie suhet.

Psühhoterapeut K. S. Saul

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Sexuality, Spirituality, Personal Development

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

David Deida is an American author who writes about the sexual and spiritual relationship between men and women.[1] His ten books have been published in 25 languages. He conducts spiritual growth and intimacy workshops and is one of the many founding associates at the Integral Institute. He has conducted research and taught classes at the University of California at Santa Cruz, Lexington Institute in Boston, San Jose State University and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris. He is the author of numerous essays, articles, and books on human spirituality including The Way of the Superior Man, Finding God Through Sex and Blue Truth and the autobiographical novel Wild Nights.

Reviews

[Jodi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Picked this book up off the library free shelf looking for ways to improve myself and my marriage. Meh! A bunch of dry, boring, new-age mumbo jumbo that felt a tad sexist to me. To attract a strong, attractive masculine man, I must be relaxed in my pure feminine form. If a woman is direct in a conversation, the man will lose interest. I must be feminine to keep his interest by snuggling and putting my head on his lap. I love being feminine and snuggling with my husband but the advice in this book is a bit pig-headed to me. Blah!

[ava! · Rating 5 out of 5]

terrible book. truly horrendous. deeply sexist. however 5 stars because it was really funny. i love a white man who learned spiritualism from a different white man who changed his name to sound indian.

[Hillaree · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first you will think this is not me! I'm feminine! Think again...I have found that over the years I have developed more masculine energy being in the work force which is great but it's learning how to nurture both and not loose your true core self. I would recommend this book to any woman and the author has written a book for the guys.

[Elin Barnes · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is probably the worst book I have ever read. It feels like a really bad stream of consciousness. And the metaphors... Oh My God, they are embarrassing (even to read)!

[Hilz · Rating 3 out of 5]

excerpts from It's a Guy Thing by David Deida. Thank you to my friend Kristi for leading me to his writing. From this particular book, there wasn't alot to take away... but much of it was a good reminder.

"If you want a man who will gift you with strong masculine integrity, passion and humor, then relax your feminine energy and you will attract him. If you want a man who will not interfere with your life as it is, who will not make loving demands of you so much as offer emotional support and acceptance, then animate your more controlling, directive, masculine energy." (page 78)

Is it easier for Men or Women to Leave a relationship (page 196) ?

"Love is most important to the feminine. In general, as long as a woman feels love for a man and from a man, the other aspects of the relationship won't be enough to cause her to leave. That would mean letting go of the love she feels. It requires a strongly developed masculine energy to end a relationship in which love still flows"

The kicker of this section is right here - made the lightbulb go off over my head: "The feminine in a woman will not let go of the love she presently feels. The masculine in a woman will all too readily let go. Masculine and feminine are balanced by the other. Neither is complete in and of itself."

How can I love without getting hurt (page 253) ?

"Love requires vulnerability. You are required to be open to the possibility of being hurt. If you want love, if you want ecstacy, you must submit yourself to the possibility of being hurt. Eventually you must let down all your guards and trust that love will always result in growth, whether the process is temporarily painful or pleasureable."

[Christina Bloomfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once again a David Dieda book speaks to me. Women who read this with openness will learn about the man they love or hope to love, but a man can read this book as well to understand what love means to us. I count myself lucky that I met a man who opened me up to my feminine energy and to this day still supports my growth and healing. I want to learn how to reciprocate that gift with my love no matter what my relationship with him may look like. This book has taught me so much in that regard. Strongly recommend reading Way of The Superior Man and Dear Lover…male and female alike.

[Babette Covington · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this at the behest of my new boyfriend. At the time I thought it was a good idea as I was anxious to learn what he liked to read and people and mentors who inspired him. He told me he had gone to David Deida's courses in order to instill a more masculine sense of himself. This book is about creating polarity in a relationship - basically the purpose is to make men feel more masculine, and instill confidence in them. The truth is you are either wired that way or not. No matter how feminine or subservient a woman is you can not make a man more ambitious, successful or smart by being more female. Sadly either men are wired to be Uber masculine or they're not. David Deida won't fix that. There is truth to being kind, supportive and complimentary to your partner all if it is deserving. If not you are only delaying the inevitable breakup. If you are looking for a truly masculine man go find one, you can not change what people innately are, and certainly you can't by the teachings in this book.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a bit repetitive in its themes and advice. Overall Mr. Deida believes that women should sty in their feminine elements and allow men to live in their masculine element. He posits that men are only attracted to women who are really feminine and allow men to be as masculine as they please. I find some of the theories to be derogatory towards women especially when he talks about women working and not relying on men in their personal lives to fix things for them. This is supposed to be read a how to understand and relate to men guide but Mr. Deida's response to most "issues" is for women to "stay in their lane" essentially.

[Moon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel those aligned with natures true intention, understanding, and call will align with the message of this book. ‘Modern feminists’ deep in their programming will probably find it unhelpful. It was a great read and I found some information helpful on my journey to aligning into my most feminine energy. Society has worked hard to remove us far from this early on in life so it’s a mental journey getting back to this natural place. I appreciate that this author has an understanding of both men/masculine and women/the feminine’s deepest needs and helps each of us bridge that understanding to each other.

[Angie Vanschoick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful, but odd

There were things in here that were useful. I think a lot of my issue with ur was everything being your man. It was just weird to me.

Overall, though, the concept of masculine and feminine energies makes a lot of sense. It is important to realise that duality exists so it can be balanced. I think a lot of misunderstandings are a result of an imbalance in these energies.

[Alyssa]

Personally, I found David to be insightful, his messages are a bit repetitious but overall, he changed my dating game. You should never be subservient but, understand it's okay to be in your feminine not just for the person you're dating but, for you! I think David did a great job of examining both the female and the male brains.

[Cecilia · Rating 1 out of 5]

oh my god i'm about to wonder why my man thinks i'm stupid but before we talk about our days we'll pull out the massage oil and also i as a woman am hawaii he as a man is new york i know now if i talk business to my man he will see me as a man until i draw him into my loving essence by having him take a bite of my delicious salad

[Katarina Karmazinova · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zaujímavý a staronový pohľad na zeny od muža. Určite mi to pomohlo získať novu perspektívu vo svete zúriveho dialógu a zmätku ohľadne toho, čo to znamená byt mužom a ženou... určite si prečítam ďalšie

[Diana · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you believe in one way to define masculinity and femininity then go ahead and read this book! For me this felt like a very narrow view of the world, not to mention no scientific backing to the theories the author proposes about feminine and masculine energies. Very outdated and sexist.

[Nicol Nekesa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Další střípky. Jen opět napsáno mužem.

[Dina · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's an okay book, if he didn't drag the damn sameness for extra 100 pages.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I disagree with some of the points, I recommend this book to anyone who wants to know how to maintain better relationships between the sexes.

[SuspectPizza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uvidíme, co na to řekne přítelkyně ;)

[Aasiyah Baig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helped me open up my brain to the way men think and operate

[Antonia Lyons · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved this book as it helped me understand the man I was about to marry more deeply and intimately. Moreover, David's words helped me open up to the male universe and have a better understanding of the dynamics between men and women.

[Mai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Masculine and feminine energies are two polarities that are very different in everything ,the way they think ,feel and handle relationships
For example the feminine's priority is love while the masculine's priority is freedom!
It's like the yin and the yang ,they complement each other and balance each other
We all have the masculine and feminine energies inside us ,the ideal would be the balance of these two energies but most of us has a dominant energy whether masculine or feminine
You could be a woman who has alot of masculine energy ,that's why you would be attracted to a feminine man (a man with lots of feminine energy ) becoz he complements and balances you and vice versa
In this book,david deida lists all the differences between the feminine and the masculine energies when it comes to love and relationships and give lots of helpful tips for women on how to handle the masculine in the relationship and how to make the best of their own feminine energy to attract the masculine
This is a very helpful guide for women to understand men and their motives in relationships and to understand themselves too,Highly recommend

[Kristiina · Rating 2 out of 5]

The main point of the book is that men have more of masculine energy and women have more of feminine energy. We attract the opposite of us. So if a woman is very feminine then she attracts a manly man so to say. It is a game between of two energies or the balance of them. The book is written in form of answers to questions and all the answers are sort of the same, the principle stays the same that is be in your energy and be open to love. And another important point is that you can't rely on others to make you happy and loved, you have to love yourself and then you are open to giving and receiving love.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly deep emotional stuff to work through in this for me. Embracing the feminine parts of myself, deciding what I want in a man. This book could come across gendered and antiquated, but I gleaned SO much and am grateful for the timing of breaking up and dating again. Calling in the masculine and becoming more aware of these basic differences between these energies. Thanks for the book, Jack!

[Verena · Rating 4 out of 5]

just good to be reminded that I'm a woman and not a man, sometimes we women tend to slip and stay in the masculine role. We need to slip into this role sometimes in order to survive, but I think we women also should learn to stay as feminin as possible in this role. Frankly I do feel more at home when I am in touch with my femine side

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

All of his books are eye openers. If you really want to try and understand men then begin with this one. You will not be sorry. He is so succinct and devoid of bullshit. He loves women and he understands us. Now he can help us understand the boys.

[Harry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book. Much softer feel compared to his book "The Way of the Superior Man," likely he did that on purpose. I would recommend this book for most women. If you are a business women or a women of power I suggest reading "The Way of the Superior Man" first.

[Megan Close Zavala · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 1/2 stars. It’s a tough call when it comes to reviewing this book. The author presented some truly revelatory (to me) ideas, but the overall execution was pretty tedious. If there was a bit more oomph, it would have rated higher, probably, but if the rating were for style alone it would be lower.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title, cover art, and sub title are terrible, terrible marketing, completely off-putting, and misleading because the content is good. That said his later works are better organized with his ideas more developed.

[Whitney Forgie]

This book is an eye opener to women. It helped me understand my dad better, but also being a newly wed it helped me understand John better! It's like a secret manual to men!

[Patrice · Rating 3 out of 5]

Basic and revealing examples of how men think. All women should read this!!!