So Far from Home: Lost and Found in Our Brave New World

by Margaret J. Wheatley

AN INVITATION TO WARRIORSHIP

I wrote this book for you if you offer your work as a contribution to others, whatever your work might be, and if now you find yourself feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and sometimes despairing even as you paradoxically experience moments of joy, belonging, and greater resolve to do your work.

This book describes how we can do our good work with dedication, energy, discipline, and joy by consciously choosing a new role for ourselves, that of warriors for the human spirit.

This book contains maps of how we ended up in a world nobody wants—overtaken by greed, self-interest, and oppressive power—the very opposite of what we worked so hard to create. These maps look deeply into the darkness of this time so that we can develop the insight we need to contribute in meaningful ways.

This book provides maps for the future, how we can transform our grief, outrage, and frustration into the skills of insight and compassion to serve this dark time with bravery, decency, and gentleness.

As warriors for the human spirit, we discover our right work, work that we know is ours to do no matter what. We engage wholeheartedly, embody values we cherish, let go of outcomes, and carefully attend to relationships. We serve those issues and people we care about, focused not so much on making a difference as on being a difference.

Genres: Leadership, Nonfiction, Philosophy, Spirituality, Personal Development, Cultural, Education

201 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Margaret Wheatley, Ed.D. began caring about the world’s peoples in 1966 as a Peace Corps volunteer in post-war Korea. As a consultant, senior-level advisor, teacher, speaker, and formal leader, she has worked on all continents (except Antarctica) with all levels, ages, and types of organizations, leaders, and activists. Her work now focuses on developing and supporting leaders globally as Warriors for the Human Spirit. These leaders put service over self, stand steadfast through crises and failures, and make a difference for the people and causes they care about. With compassion and insight, they know how to invoke people’s inherent generosity, creativity, kindness, and community–no matter what’s happening around them.

Margaret has written ten books, including the classic Leadership and the New Science, and been honored for her pathfinding work by many professional associations, universities, and organizations. She received her Doctorate from Harvard University in 1979, an M.A. in Media Ecology from NYU in 1974, and a B.A. from University of Rochester in 1966. She spent a year at University College London 1964-65.

Reviews

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are hoping to make a difference, and wondering if you can in this crazy world, this is a must read. Hope might be dangerous. Goals might be pointless. Instead, it just might be about immersing yourself in what needs doing and the people with whom you interact rather than any actual movement forward. Profound, inspiring and dampening at the same time.

[Jim Puskas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having just completed my first reading of this remarkable book, I’m not yet ready to comment fully on it; I will need to read it again, more thoughtfully, probably several more times before I will be prepared to embrace it entirely or to challenge any part of it in a coherent way. At first reading, I am enormously impressed at the insight and clear-eyed honesty of Ms. Wheatley’s central thesis, even though I have considerable difficulty with the starkness of some of her statements.
For the moment, I can only state that I find myself fully in agreement with her primary hypothesis, that none of us can save the world from its current path of destruction; that is a bitter pill to swallow.
That said, I remain (for the moment) unconvinced that saving one person or improving one situation at a time is futile (I would respond by referring to the well-known fable of the boy and the sand dollars). I also question her denigration of strategic planning, even though I think I understand her reasons for doing so. Finally, I must take issue with her bold statement “How many people on the planet are happy with what’s going on? Scarcely any.” Perhaps none of those people she knows personally are happy with it, but I’m confident that the Koch Brothers and many of their ilk are very pleased with how things are going; as are numerous arms merchants and a host of businesses that actually profit from climate change (for now). I could name quite a few others. And they will do everything in their power (which is considerable) to keep it going as it is. I fear that Ms. Wheatley underestimates the scale of evil at work.
I (and I suspect most readers) find her remedy to be inadequate: nothing more than compassion and insight, scant weaponry indeed! And for most of us, weapons with which we have little practice.
Ms. Wheatley, you have set us a hard task.
I hope (yes, I have not yet abandoned all hope) to have something more useful to say about the book after I’ve studied it more completely.

[Elisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is my go-to title every time I feel there's no hope for humanity or planet Earth. It grounds me and gives me a true sense of what my role in this world is. Highly recommended.

[Tom · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just what I've been looking for: a call to let go of hope and thus of fear that our hope will not be realized. Wheatley voices what many feel, that the world is not becoming a better place; our dreams and work for justice, fairness, and peace are not bringing forth these values in our own country or in the world. And yet she does not despair. She calls for Warriorship, informed with clear seeing and compassion.
The world is as it is for complex reasons, among them that we have become a culture of fiercely held opinions and values rooted in self-interest, greed, and power. Such cultures can move in one direction only: toward intensified fear and paranoia, focused on self defense and closed to listening to the other. Those in power are not going to change as they believe in their own inherent superiority, disdainful of most other people.
But before we split further into our own righteous camps, she reminds us that the line between good and evil runs through every human heart. She calls us to insight into our profound interconnectedness. Warriorship is dependent on faith in the very people that those in power disdain. Warriorship calls forth gentleness, decency, and bravery, not with hope that it will change the world, but because "we're all just humans sharing a common experience called life."
Seeing clearly requires developing a quiet mind, letting go just for a moment of our need to shriek and press our opinion of every passing event. "Pausing before reacting is the easiest way to shift from drama queen to warrior." Compassion is nourished in quiet conversations that recognize our common humanity. Reality may well break your heart, and to quote Insight Meditation teacher Larry Rosenberg: "Where is peace to be found? In the same place as sorrow. How convenient."

[Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an excellent book. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Early in the book I was tempted to write Margaret and challenge her view of hope. I did my thesis work on hope and trauma. In some instances I work with people who are suicidal. Restoring their innate hope is essential. Hope orients the brain to possible change. When someone losses all hope, and they sometimes do, suicide is just a short step away. So restoring hope is essential. However, later in the book Margaret acknowledges a respect for hope as an innate quality that we already have. So I agree. For those committed to a spiritual life of service, what Margaret offers in this book resonates with my experience and understanding.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

In So Far From Home, Margaret Wheatley presents a bleak picture of the reality we live in, and tears down our reliance on hope as a way of gaining meaning in our lives. She argues that we need to face the reality of what is and accept that society as it currently is has emerged and we cannot change it. It is only by feeling and moving through our despair about the state of things that we can come out the other side and discover ways to build meaning in our lives and do meaningful work without either ignoring reality or relying on an unrealistic hope for the future. It is in part about choosing to live a certain way: choosing to have compassion and to not contribute to the fear and aggression in the world. By giving ourselves space to feel our despair and anger, we can move beyond it to a place of empathy and equanimity. In doing so, we will find our way to work that we do simply because we have to and it has meaning in the moment, without attachment to any particular outcome.

Wheatley's book resonated deeply with me. I used to rely on an unrealistic optimistic hope about the future. When those illusions were shattered, I wasn't sure what to replace them with. Wheatley's approach makes a lot of sense to me and shows me a way to live that does not deny the reality of what is, but also does not just drown in pessimism and negativity. A large component of her approach is meditation (she is a Buddhist and clearly that is one source of inspiration for her thinking) and I am newly inspired to try to find a meditation or mindfulness practice that works for me.

[Letecia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant! An important book for these times with practical wisdom for navigating a world that is rapidly changing.

[Fran Cormack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why is everything Meg Wheatley writes so beautiful?

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Meg Wheatley gives voice to what many of us have been feeling and thinking about our world today.

I'm finding it challenging to write a review because what she is talking about is so much bigger than anyone of us and yet it depends on each one of us. Our systems and processes in this country and most of the world are broken. We are all connected - entangled. What harms one country ultimately harms the world. And Meg says it so much better, than I.

To paraphrase a quote I heard from Peter Senge (and I hope I don't butcher it) "A Leader's vision not grounded in reality creates chaos." We've certainly experienced a lot of chaos in the 20th and 21st Centuries. I mention this quote because I experienced Meg's book to an invitation to ground ourselves in reality before we can begin to change ourselves and our role in birthing a new world.

The book is broken into four sections - the first 2 sections set the framework of the book with inviting you to identify where you are in your view of the world and your role and the emergence of a new world that is trying to be born. She talks about how the new default behaviors are encouraging and nurturing greed and selfishness - self-interest without regard for others. That we now value beliefs over facts, science...reality.

In section 3, Meg talks about our current reality. She draws from experts and her own experience as an international citizen of the world, and the cold hard facts of today. Reading this section was like stepping into "the dark night of the soul" for me. While, I consider that my preference is always looking for the good rather than the bad - I still need to acknowledge that they both co-exist in this world if I am going to ground my actions and beliefs in reality.

In section 4, Meg extends the invitation to become a Shambhala Warrior - one who is brave and vows never to use aggression. The weapons of the Warrior are compassion and insight. She challenges are view of hope and invites us to consider that the other side of the coin for hope is fear. They go hand in hand. She sites the example of the Stockdale Paradox, named after Admiral James Stockdale the highest ranking officer ever to be imprisioned. He was held in a Vietnamese POW camp for 7 years. He survived when the optimists in his camp did not. He said, "You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - which you can never afford to lose - with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."

Meg offers "a much more sustainable source of energy for your work, the place beyond hope and fear."

May this book let you know you are not alone in your quest for a better world for the future children and that inspire you to become a Shambhala Warrior.

[Charles Thrasher · Rating 4 out of 5]

In her new book So Far From Home: Lost and Found in Our Brave New World Margaret Wheatley savages hope, guts it like a street fighter.

Beyond hope of success lies the freedom to act without constraint, without need for practicality. Once you’ve abandoned expectations, intent is no longer harried by hope or despair or the need to endlessly compromise in order to achieve diminishing results. You act because it’s the right thing, the needful thing, without expectation, without hope or need of success. You act because you can, because you must.

Hope is the expectation of a particular result among a continuum of results. It’s hope that binds us to the fear of failure and the paralysis of despair. Hope makes us vulnerable to exhaustion. Hope deceives us with the belief that the outcome is the reason for action. In reality, action is the reason itself.

Wheatley has a long history of trying to save the world. It can’t be saved, no matter how much we sacrifice. There’s no controlling the future nor even the avarice and greed rampant in the present. The future emerges unpredictably. Once present, it can’t be undone.

There are hard times ahead for humanity, for the planet. We may not survive the challenges we’ve created. We may not have the intelligence or the heart to transcend our petty squabbling politics in a time of great need. There is no guarantee of our evolutionary success. We could be an evolutionary dead end, a net loss to the planet. Or we might make the transition to something unexpected and wonderful, a shared intelligence capable of governing itself wisely.

Ultimately, personally, it doesn’t matter which. The outcome isn’t mine to own, only the action, the intent. The metaphor that comes most to mind is Zen archery, a meditation in motion where the archer becomes both the bow and the target, collapsing the distance between. The arrow is released of its own accord. It doesn’t matter so much where it lands. What matters is the meditation, the mindfulness of the archer.

[Cynthia F Davidson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend loaned me a copy after I'd loaned her my copy of history prof Carolyn Baker's book, 'Sacred Demise.' No one likes to contemplate the ending of things, like empires, lifestyles & even whole cultures, but these books pose tough scenarios. With half the USA population on anti-depressants already, you have to wonder what is vying for our attention!
The problem with this book is that too many readers will finish it & be distraught. If you cannot handle the personal endings of things like your own (grandiose?) dreams of making a difference & changing the world, then don't read this book.
On the other hand, there seems to be a crying need (pun intended) for us to undergo a transformation, which begins by facing current foibles. Optimism of grown ups is quite distinguishable from the childish kind & rests upon a sturdier psychological foundation.
Think about other endings, of empires, & who warned the populace of Germany, England, Rome...? Deniers are always more popular than realists & prophets but if the rah rah of those paid to look the other way gives you a queasy feeling, then read this book. Have a long think with yourself about what's true in terms of what you're inclined to deny.
I gave fewer stars because the prescriptions given didn't go far enough. We mustn't keep describing the problems ad nauseam without giving some concrete steps. I gave the book back to the friend who loaned it to me, so I can't quote an example of this tendency, but suffice it to say, you'd be better off tackling this book in a group setting, so you'll have some support & community compassion for each other while undergoing a profound shift in outlook, expectations & changes in beliefs. Good luck. See you on the other side of 'hope & fear' once you've transformed your new hopelessness into a quiet, humble fearlessness.

[Websterdavid3 · Rating 1 out of 5]

i had loved walk out walk on by Ms. Wheatley and Deborah Frieze, so expected more of the same.

it is possible that the mid-sections of the book were skillfully written.

i could not get beyond the intro and first chapter where Ms. Wheatley
made a repetitive and forceful argument that our world is going to hell in a hand basket and that there was no hope. Therefor, sayeth she, we should still keep struggling to make the world better.Because(?) i failed to comprehend her logic.

Fundamentally, i agree with Joanna Macy "i don't know enough to despair of all hope."

Strategically, i also want to apply my energy and effort to those arenas with the most impact, the most bang for the buck. Wheatley's absolutism leaves us w no shades of grey and no way to evaluate th best places to choose to work.

this 2010 book reminds me of Bill McKibben's "the End of Nature." As Bill, to his great credit said, (more or less) " all my friends and readers said that i had thoroughly depressed them.... what's next." Bill wrote a book filled with hope based on local amazing actions (similar to "Walk Out Walk On").

i am hoping that Ms. Wheatley meets Bill's muse soon and re-discovers hope and finds strategic and in-the-moment analsyis of wondrous and chaotic world. i will probably try to read another of her books at some point.

i would also welcome anyone else's perspective-- perhaps she pushed my button-of-vulnerability and i need to re-button myself?

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

You continue to affirm what I "know" and push me to practice it, Meg. Thank you. I also was delighted to find by the end you had allowed hope to still live for you know that your push to give up both fear and hope on the journey to become a fearless warrior leader pushed me in ways I didn't like. Like I told you in Halifax, I can give up fear but hope, oh my gosh.

I now understand the difference between light hope and deep hope that I think you are talking about. I understand how the light version can be shallow and can invite and feed fear. I also am delighted that you offer that deeper hope in this book through the words of one of my heroes, Vaclav Havel and say:

"And yet, there is something to what we call 'hope' that I would never abandon. I've looked for words to describe this and the closest I've come is 'the essence of being human.' I learned this from Vaclav Havel, poet, playwright, leader of the Velvet Revolution and then first president of the Czech Republic: "Hope is a dimension of the soul...an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It transcends the world that is immediately experienced and is anchored somewhere beyond its horizons.'

That's the hope I hold!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a fan of Meg Wheatley. I think she is pretty terrific. But, I must admit that this one was a tough read. Giving up hope for the future? Wow, I struggle with that.

I went to see this book presented at Royal Roads in Victoria. The author built the argument that I later read in the book with slides and a thoughtful presentation. Essentially, the world is lost. We are on the downslide and there is little we can do to impact it. Really, all we can do is help ourselves and choose to live as warriors that enter the world with compassion and insight.

I appreciate the idea of living with compassion, of choosing not to contribute to the aggression, fear and confusion of our time. But, giving up hope for something better. I am not sure if I am ready for that.

Have we already passed beyond the place of meaning to a sort of post script where the inevitable downslide is already realized? What will happen if I give up hope - will life seem full of darkness rather than possibility?

This book definitely gave me something to think about - it has been on my mind. I am just not sure how I feel about where it has taken me.

[Joann Calabrese · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went back and forth about 3 stars or 4. I think it is a 3.5.

Some of the very solid things about the book are Wheatley's analysis of why things are going so badly on the planet: distractedness, self absorption, the attempt to control complexity, and greed.

I have read some of her other books and found this one difficult because her tone is so harsh and she keeps saying we should abandon hope, yet she gives a prescription at the end of the book on "how to be a warrior".

The message is not new because it is a basic Buddhist approach of doing the work and letting go of attachment to results, however I found her message delivered in an almost angry tone.

I would still recommend the book as it provides lots to think about.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m very glad I read it. I liked her way of looking at the world. I like her honesty...her struggle. While it seems to be a little overly dramatic at times - I feel like she has hit the nail on the head for a real struggle that I feel in trying to find my place in the world. I found her challenge to lay aside (in a way) hope and work out of a sense of joy and generosity to be inspiring and comforting. I found it helpful to think about my own theological understandings and how it fits with her perspective.

[Mike · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book has a lot of wonderful topics and subtexts including 'hope', 'buddhism', 'politics', 'texting rather than speaking to each other', 'what is wrong with us', 'banks taking us for a ride', etc, etc, etc. For me the author makes two assumptions, one is that the readers don't read anything besides her books, and two, the readers just graduated from elementary school. Give the author her due, she has a EdD from Harvard and gives seminars world wide. I had to read it for a book group. It's not bad, but not for me..............

[Margaret D'Anieri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wheatley's premise is that those who have been working to "change the world" need to give up on that idea in favor of doing what gives meaning to one's life, because there are too many forces working against systemic change. She writes mostly from a Buddhist perspective, and I have some argument with her definition of hope and her dismissal of hope as something that only leads to disappointment. Thoughtfully written by someone who has been a leading edge thinker and who has been in the trenches of movements that make a difference.

[Maryjoamani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent reflections for questioning what is going on in the world and our role. Wheatley addresses the pernicious effects of global access and suggests ways to be at home in the world, despite the destruction: by creating meaning through work that is satisfying and driven by passion, by real face human connection and community, and integrity. She may say there is no hope for changing the world, but I suspect this book will change a lot of lives. I highly recommend it.

[Elena Aguilar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I'll need to read this one over and over to get everything out of it -- there's a lot here. I think I'd actually rate it a 4.5. There are some really powerful parts of this book. Some of it isn't new -- if you know Wheatley's work it'll be familiar. Some is very new. As she promises, it's a hard read. The middle especially. The final chapters are really worth reading however. But don't skip the middle.

[Jeanne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ms. Wheatley manages to say nothing new or enlightening, glad she only went on..and on for 168 pages, so not too much wasted time. The point of her book is to make us 'warriors' ready to confront this 'brave new world', which she sees as being accomplished by listening, being present in the moment, and ignoring all failures.

This was a book group selection, it will be interesting to see what others thought about this choice. I do not recommend this book.

[John Stepper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful for anyone trying to change things and finding themselves swinging between joy and fulfillment on some days and anger or depression on others. (I'm one of those people!)

I don't agree with all of her assessments about the current state. It's too dark and while she uses "we" I often found myself saying "not me".

But her approach to change is sound. She provides a context for driving change that is useful and will help make my change efforts more sustainable.

[Susan Halvor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I need to read this again. Spent the first 10 chapters irritated and argumentative. But chapter 11, "Controlling Complexity," resonated a lot for me, and chapter 12, "A Prophecy of Warriors," felt like a description of where I live and the work I'm called to. Fascinating discussion of hope ... Certainly hope is not always helpful, but appreciated that she sldo recognized the ways we must maintain hope. Very helpful. Will see what I think next time around...

[Miranda Bergs · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating and helpful read for those working in nonprofits or for a specific cause. This short but dense read identifies problems within managerial structures, globalization, sociology, personal expectations, identity and career burnout by applying quantum theory and laws of nature at a macro level. I found myself taking notes and writing down as much information as I could possibly gather! Highly recommended for those seeking to do good in the world while keeping sane.

[Glenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting thought provoking, somewhat depressing book. The direction and new maps at the end are aligned to Buddhist teachings and the recent Dalai Lama book Beyond Religion. Interesting personal touches are included, but never really explores the new map for navigating this world (behaviours) in depth. I rate it 3.5.

[Maren Showkeir · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a breath of fresh air and a sigh of relief. Some will consider it pessimistic and dark, but I found it to be a clarion call for the best, most authentic kind of hope and optimism — the kind we choose and determinedly cling to even when we know in our hearts that our heroic efforts to create just and sane and humane places in the world will likely be, in the end, futile.

[Elena Aguilar · Rating 4 out of 5]

She warns you: there's a heavy, hard to read chunk in the middle. It's worth it though--the end chapters offer much in the domain of hope and possibility. Some of what's in here sounded familiar -- I've read it in other Wheatley books, but I understand that just cause you've said it once that doesn't mean that's enough.
Really worth reading for the first and final chapters.

[Michal Stransky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Its perfect stop for some minutes and read about all your thinks and fears on one place... this book is simple perfect summary and conclustion af your thoughts that you never can finish becasuse of current chaotic and disturbing word.

[Janneka Guise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book incredibly inspiring and thought-provoking.

[Susan Keene · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a great book, but only people of a certain mindset would enjoy it.